


Double Heartbeat

by Destinee Zara (LadyDestineeZara)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, BDSM, Bondage, Child Abuse, Choking, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Knifeplay, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Oral Sex, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Spanking, This is canon compliant only up to season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 12:12:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 82,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11989542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyDestineeZara/pseuds/Destinee%20Zara
Summary: Shiro and Kuro: two sides of the same coin.Complementary opposites inside the mind of only one person.The two halves of one soul.The doctors said that their condition is called Dissociative identity disorder, but science couldn't explain their profound bond and brotherhood.They share one body.They share one mind.Why wouldn't they share one lover too?And Kuro would do anything to protect his two favourite people.Anything.(My Entry for the Sheith Big Bang with@eleedoesart!)





	1. Shiro & Kuro

**Author's Note:**

> **ATTENTION!  
> **  
>  This fanfic contains a non-acurate version of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Althought the subject is adressed as respectfully as possible, it is still a fictional work that is probably not acurate. 
> 
>  
> 
> English is not my first language. This story if partially betaed, and there is just one peculiarity before you start reading:  
> \- [Text after dashes] = TALKING (A Romance Language custom)  
> "[Text between quotation marks]" = THE CONVERSATIONS INSIDE SHIRO AND KURO'S HEAD
> 
> Now, to the story!

Nobody was supposed to remember the way they were born.

It just wouldn’t be right, would it?

The natural order of things was to forget about being born, forget about most of one’s childhood (except for some remarkable events, usually the good ones), and maybe start to remember things clearly and vividly from the teenager years and through the rest of one’s life, only to forget again when one becomes old.

That was natural.

However, there was nothing natural about the way both of they came to be.

At some point, there was a boy.

Just one little good boy.

Let’s call him Takashi.

Takashi was a sweet boy of six years old. He loved bugs, the stars and his mommy. He tried to be polite and say “please” and “thank you”. He loved to wear his space onesie (even if he was already a big boy) and to read stories about the planets. He wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up. Takashi sometimes wished he had a little brother to play with, a friend to camp with him outside and watch the sky. However, that desire was always short lived.

You see, Takashi didn’t like his father.

The little kid always felt bad about that. He wanted to like his father. He really did! His father was a war hero! A great general of the U.S. Army! A respectful and noble man, a pillar of his community!

Oh, but he was a monster behind the four walls of his lair.

Many nights, little Takashi cried himself to sleep, listening to his parents fighting. Many times he saw his mommy with bruises and tears of fear in her eyes. Many times he had bruises himself, even if his mommy tried to protect him.

No, Takashi couldn’t like his father.

Not really.

He couldn’t have a little brother either. He didn’t want another little boy to suffer with him.

At some point, there was a boy.

He was six years old and he was a good boy.

A good boy in a cruel household, with a cruel man as a father, and cruel men always hurt and abuse the beings weaker than them.

Always.

One night, his father entered his bedroom late at night, stinking of cigarettes and alcohol.

At some point, there were two boys.

“He” was born that night, between dirty sheets, painful tears and shame.

Nobody was supposed to remember the way they were born.

Oh, but “he” did.

“He” remembered every second of that disgusting act.

“He” remembered things before that.

However, that night would be burned in his mind for the rest of his life, a burden that such little shoulders shouldn’t bear.

“Takashi” on the other hand, didn’t remember a thing, blissfully oblivious to the horror that happened that night and all the others that followed. All “Takashi” knew was that he woke up hurting, with a pain in a part that he supposed wasn’t supposed to hurt.

“He” just watched the other boy through his own eyes.

Eyes that they shared.

However, even sharing the same eyes and the same mind, “he” was the one that remembered and felt everything, while “Takashi” was unaware.

“Takashi” wasn’t even aware that “he” was there!

“He” hated “Takashi” for that.

Born yesterday and already hating with all his little heart.

“He” could see through “Takashi’s” eyes, watching him live his life happily. “He” could only appear when their father started to scream, when Father hit him or when Father… _hurt_ him.

(Kuro was too young and didn’t know at the time that the name of that heinous crime was “rape”).

There was never an opportunity for “he” to come out and play like a normal kid, like “he” wanted to be.

“He” liked pirates and race cars… but “Takashi” didn’t have any of those types of toys, only spaceships and bug-nets.

“He” wanted to scream at people to back off… but “Takashi” would say “thank you” and “please” and be a good boy.

“He” hated that space onesie (because it was for little children)… but “Takashi” couldn’t let it go.

“He” just wanted their father to stop hurting him and to never touch the disgusting man ever again… but “Takashi” would still hug and kiss him.

“He” didn’t have his own space. The only time he was in command was when he was being hurt and a few minutes after that.

It was like “he” didn’t exist.

“He” felt trapped.

Like a lion inside a cage that was too small. A lion that was never fed and beaten Every. Single. Day.

On the other hand, “Takashi” existed.

“Takashi” had everything (everything good).

“He” hated “Takashi”.

“He” hated and hated and hated.

Hate was all “he” had.

Hate.

Trapped inside that cage of flesh and hate, why should “he” go on?

“He” started to consider drinking bleach.

It would perfect, wouldn’t it? “He” would FINALLY clean himself properly (destroying the filth that their father had put on him), “he” could stop his own misery and “he” also would hurt and destroy “Takashi”.

Perfection.

If only “he” could stay in control of the body for long enough…

Oh, if only…

However, one night, things changed.

“He” was crying on the floor. “He” didn’t want to lay on the bed again, not with that dirty thing there. The worst part was that “Takashi” would take control at any moment and lay over that… that… disgusting spit! “He” could only cry harder.

\- Are you all right? – a little voice asked him.

“Takashi” was somehow staring at him sheepishly and worriedly.

“Takashi” was staring at “him”.

He was looking at him.

However, “he” was still bitter.

\- Fuck off! – “he” answered between tears and gritted teeth.

“Takashi’s” eyes widened.

\- That’s a bad word!

\- Fuck off and leave me alone!

“He” was sobbing and crying like a stupid baby. “Takashi” watched carefully.

They stayed like that for a few moments.

“He” didn’t understand why “Takashi” was still letting him stay and cry his eyes out. “Takashi” was usually quick to take control back (another fact that “he” hated).

“Takashi” stared at “him” with sadness for a while before saying quietly:

\- Do you want to take a bubble bath?

“He” just stared at “Takashi”, unable to comprehend what “Takashi” was saying.

“Takashi” continued:

\- Bubble baths makes me happy, so maybe they can make you happy too… And you’re feeling dirty aren’t you? A bath could help…

\- …you saw… that…?

“Takashi” shook his head.

\- No… It’s all fuzzy. I just remember hearing a noise outside my door and then seeing you crying. – “Takashi” lowered his head – Something bad happened to us… didn’t it?

“He” didn’t answer.

“Takashi” nodded with resolution before smiling and picking “him” up gently.

\- Come on! It will be nice! We can pick one of my spaceships to play with!

“He” sniffed.

\- I don’t like spaceships… - “he” said quietly.

“Takashi” blinked, confused.

\- No?

\- No.

\- What do you like then?

“He” shrugged, sniffing again.

\- Pirates.

“Takashi” giggled.

\- That’s cool. I guess we both like “ships” then.

“He” couldn’t help but let out a little smile.

“Takashi” filled the bath with warm water and bubbles, and even made some paper ships for them to play with.

“He” scrubbed their body hard trying to erase all the “dirty” on them, but “he” also relaxed, listening to “Takashi” sing them lullabies. The next morning, a Saturday, “Takashi” put the movie ‘Treasure Planet’ on for them to watch while eating pancakes.

It was just… SO nice.

Maybe “he” hated “Takashi” a little bit less after that…

At some point, there were two boys.

They were seven years old.

One was more outspoken and a nice boy, while the other was more timid and an angry boy.

Both were still good boys, though.

“Takashi” went out of his way to make “him” feel comfortable in their body. Giving him presents, letting him retreat to quiet places when he was overwhelmed and telling stories about his favorites stars and constellations to help “him” fall asleep.

\- I always wanted to have a baby brother. – “Takashi” said with a sad smile one day – But I was always afraid that father would hurt the baby. He still hurts you, though… I’m sorry… maybe I shouldn’t have wished for a brother after all…

“He” laid on his side, staring at “Takashi”.

\- It’s not your fault, Takashi. Father is a bad man and he just hurts people.

“Takashi” blinked in confusion.

\- But… I’m not Takashi! You’re Takashi!

“He” frowned.

\- No! You’re Takashi! I don’t have a name!

\- Noooo! You’re the Takashi! I’m just the helper!

They stared at each other.

\- But… if I’m Takashi and you are Takashi…

\- … then who is flying the plane?

They snickered for a few moments before starting to laugh together.

\- But serious now, - “Takashi” said, out of breath – we’re both Takashi then?

“He” blinked, a few happy tears blurring his eyesight.

He had a name. He was Takashi.

Both Takashis smiled with tears of joy in their eyes.

Takashi was so happy…

\- But this is confusing! – the ‘second’ Takashi couldn’t help but say – It is cool that we have the same name, but that is… weird!

‘First’ Takashi scratched their chin before beaming.

\- Oh! One of us can have a nickname!

\- A nickname…?

\- Yeah! We can call you Takashi and we can call me Shiro!

Shiro beamed, quite proud of his idea.

Takashi smiled softly, proud of his brother’s good idea and so happy to have a name for himself.

\- It’s awesome, Shiro.

\- Cool! Now that we’ve decided on our names, we have to decide who’s the older brother! – he grinned – Of course that’s me, but I want to know what you think about it.

Takashi sighed happily.

If Shiro wanted to be the big brother, Takashi would let him.

\- Ok.

Even if he was the little brother, Takashi vowed that night to protect his Shiro from all harm.

(Kuro always fulfilled his promises).

At some point, there were two boys, two brothers.

They were nine years old and both of them were good boys.

Takashi LOVED his brother with all his heart.

He couldn’t _believe_ that he had ever hated his big brother at one point in his life. That sounded ridiculous now!

Shiro still went out of his way to make Takashi feel comfortable.

Now they had books about spaceships and stars, but also books about sports cars and old boats. They watched “Cosmos, a Spacetime Odyssey” and “Transformers” depending on who won the paper-rock-scissors game. Takashi wanted to practice martial arts, so Shiro charmed their way with their mother, with big eyes and pouts, until he got that victory for his brother.

Shiro always liked to say how Takashi was brave and strong. He would console him whenever his father hurt Takashi.

Takashi kept protecting Shiro. He just couldn’t let his brother be hurt! He just couldn’t! He couldn’t always count on their mother (a fact that Takashi resented a lot), so it was up to him to protect Shiro.

He was the only one that knew how to knock out the other. He just knew, and he refused to tell Shiro how to do it. This made him feel a little bit like an asshole because Shiro insisted that he learn how to take control of the body during normal situations, not only during moments of danger.

(The feeling of guilt was always short lived. Their father just had to raise his voice and Kuro would remember why he did what he did.)

\- You have to do your own thing! – Shiro complained – I HATE doing sports, but you like it, so you should be the one doing it!

The last part was always said in a matter-of-fact way that kinda annoyed Takashi.

(He guessed that having a brother was not _aaaaalways_ a walk in the park, but it was OK. They still loved each other at the end of the day).

Thus, Takashi practised, trying to be free of his prison of only coming out during danger.

The first afternoon that he was able to do that was Amazing.

“You did it!” Shiro celebrated, looking through Takashi’s eyes, just like all the time that Takashi looked through Shiro’s eyes.

\- Yeah! – Takashi beamed.

He just did simple things, but things he liked, like going to the park with their bicycle to throw rocks into the lake.

(Their father twisted their arm when they got home late, another thing that Kuro bore alone, but it was still worth it).

At some point, there were two boys, two brothers.

They were ten years old and they were good boys.

At ten years old, Takashi had ENOUGH of their father defiling their body. He could scream at them, he could beat them, but he had been crossing a line that he was never supposed to cross.

(Their father wasn’t supposed to do any of that, but, again, Kuro was still young and didn’t have the knowledge about abusive behaviour).

Knowing how to take control of the body had the side effect of knowing how to knock out Shiro for longer periods. Perfect for a confrontation that probably would take more than a few hours.

That autumn night, Takashi fought back.

He bit.

Hard.

He screamed.

Loud.

He called names.

Ugly names.

That earned him a slap on the face and their mother’s attention.

She was horrified by what had been happening in her house right under her nose. There was no denying what her disgusting husband had been doing.

Not with the bite that Takashi had done on a certain place.

She screamed at the husband and threatened to leave him. She and her child(ren) even left the house for a while, going to a safe place for abuse women.

Those were weird days for the two brothers.

Shiro knew that Takashi had fought back, but he didn’t seem to have a clue about what had happened. Takashi had to make him black out whenever he had to tell _again_ what had happened to him.

“I don’t want you to know!” Takashi would scream at Shiro in the shared place of their mind.

“But I want to help! This isn’t FAIR, Takashi!”

Takashi bit his lips.

“I know… I’m sorry…”

Like always, with an annoyed sigh, Shiro forgave him.

However, things didn’t change much.

In the end, their mother was too scared to leave her husband, no matter how disgusting he was (the twins weren’t the only ones affected by the father’s abusive behaviour). She did whatever she could to go back to their broken home, including denying that her child(ren) was abused. She lied and lied, saying that it was all a misunderstanding and that Shiro (the only son she thought she had) didn’t know what he was talking about.

If Takashi resented her before, now he hated her.

“How could she do this to us!?” he cried in their shared mind space after days having to relieve all the disgusting things that happened to him “How could she!?”

Shiro could only hug his brother and says silly things, trying his best to comfort him.

The night they went back to their house was the night that Takashi picked a new name for himself.

\- I hate it! – Takashi said when they were once again in their bedroom – I hate that I have to look at him, that I have to live with him, that I _look_ like him!

Shiro bit his lips.

\- But he’s our father… We can’t change anything about it…

Takashi glared at him.

\- Yes, I can! We might have his blood, but I refuse to have his name!

Shiro’s eyes widened.

\- What do you mean?

\- Shiro means “White” in Japanese, right?

\- Uh, yeah…?

\- And Kuro means “Black”.

\- Yeah…?

\- So, you’re Takashi Shirogane, and I refuse to carry his name, so I’ll be Takashi Kurogane!

Shiro was thunderstruck.

\- But we are brothers! How can we be brothers if we don’t have the same last name?

Takashi Kurogane smiled smugly.

\- We still have the same name. You are Takashi and I am Takashi. We’re still related!

Shiro pulled at his hair in frustration.

\- That isn’t how the brother thing works!

\- But it will work for us!

Shiro glared at him and Takashi Kurogane glared back.

Shiro sighed in a mix of exasperation, resignation and brotherly pride.

\- Ok, fine. But I have one condition!

Takashi Kurogane nodded with curiosity.

\- What is it?

Shiro giggled.

\- I’ll call you Kuro! – he laughed – Get it? I’m Shiro and you’re Kuro!

Kuro couldn’t help but give him a lopsided smirk.

\- Deal!

One terrible thing came from their mother denying to other people that Kuro had been abused: now Kuro refused completely to tell anyone what happened.

Nobody would believe him! Why go through all the shame and humiliation of reliving again and again AND AGAIN what their father had done to him if **nothing** would change? The only person that would believe him was Shiro, but Shiro was the last person Kuro wanted to tell.

He had to protect Shiro, no matter how much that hurt.

Shiro was everything to Kuro.

Their mother tried to “make up” for her betrayal. She tried to put “Shiro” in therapy, she tried to bribe them and she asked, almost demanded, their forgiveness.

Shiro didn’t know what had happened exactly. All that he knew was that their mother had hurt Kuro, just like their father. For hurting the most important person in his life, Shiro could never forgive either of them.

That betrayal destroyed their trust in their mother, but from the ashes of that same betrayal, two new good things came out.

The first one was that their father didn’t dare to rape Kuro anymore. He was still an abusive fucker, but at least now the twins could just lock their room and have some peace.

The second was their relationship.

They were unbreakable.

“Like Yin and Yang!” Shiro would say a few years later “You know, that idea of opposites complementing each other and still having a little of each other”.

Kuro would shrug. “Yeah, whatever.”

At some point, there were two guys, brothers.

They were teenagers and they still were good guys.

With puberty blooming and their body changing, their personalities and interests also changed.

They were like fire and water: oh, so different from each other.

Shiro was calm, gentle, determined, virtuous and friendly. Your local goody two-shoes wonder boy.

Kuro was impulsive, brash, stubborn, hot-tempered and sarcastic. The resident rebel without a cause, the bad boy.

Shiro was the teacher’s pet popular guy, with tons of friends in school, excellent grades and an impeccable reputation. He still LOVED stars and space, so he studied and studied (he was keeping the reason a secret for now). He couldn’t give a damn about the status quo, so he had nerd friends, popular friends, weird friends and every other kind of friend. If he could, he would befriend everybody. He was a king, and the school was his kingdom.

Kuro was the troublemaker after class, the wannabe street fighter. The only reason his reputation was still spotless was because Kuro didn’t want to blemish Shiro’s reputation (he had to protect Shiro at all costs). He was vain and liked to be on top of the food chain. He liked fighting and would practice any martial art he could, just to fight on the streets whenever he could. He wanted to be the cool guy, so he restricted the people he was friends with. With great embarrassment, he recognized that he wouldn’t befriend his own brother if they were separated. In his defence, he was only fifteen, and everybody was stupid when they were fifteen. He was the lord of the streets.

Those differences made them develop a very different sets of skills.

Shiro’s most obvious skill was his academic knowledge. He was smart and he liked to _learn_ , like a dry sponge soaking up water. Knowledge sometimes felt like a drug to which he was addicted. His second main skill was his charm. Trying to be friendly with everybody made him empirically learn what would make people feel comfortable, what words would make people like him and which smiles would please the strictest authority. Shiro knew how to twist his words and how to mask his face to get what he wanted. Kuro liked to compare him with Loki, from Nordic Mythology, hence the nickname he gave his brother: Shiro Silver-tongue.

Speaking of Kuro, his most obvious skill was his muscles, his bodily knowledge. He liked moving. No matter what, he liked _moving_. His favorite type of movement, of course, was fighting. The adrenaline rush that came with fighting was Kuro’s drug of choice. If Kuro could punch his way to get what he wanted, he would gladly do so. His second great skill was a bit of a surprise: he was _good_ at reading people. It started as a survival skill, a flower of his paranoia: he watched the people around him to try to guess what would be their reaction, what their intentions were. Kuro started to catalogue the small nuances and subtle gestures that people would do and relate them to actions, feelings and intentions. With time, this became a second nature to him, instinct, gut feelings about people that were always right.

Two very distinct individuals with two opposite mindsets.

However, instead of making them grow apart, those differences made the brothers become closer than ever.

For starters, they still shared everything: the time with free reign of their body and their experiences of the day. Shiro would tell all the spicy gossip from school or babble happily about his most recent subject of study. Kuro would brag about his victories in his fights or share his insights about people’s behaviour and relate that with things that happened. Shiro might be the king of school, but Kuro wanted to be on the football team, so they were part of it. Kuro might be the lord of the streets, but if Shiro had some important test the next day, they would go home to have more time to study. Kuro would tell Shiro which people were being sincere and liked him honestly, and who just wanted to be closer to the famous Takashi Shirogane for selfish reasons. Shiro would always smile and talk with any authority that Takashi Kurogane had disobeyed, charming their way out of trouble.

They were a team.

A Great team.

Especially because they still loved each other very much.

(They would still argue about how to decorate and keep their bedroom and still bicker about which music to listen to, since they had different tastes in everything. In the big scheme of things, though, they were still brothers, and these were just petty things that brothers would argue about. At the end of the day, they still love each other and always made sure that the other knew that.)

In their house, things didn’t improve at all. Shiro was the one that dealt the most with their parents, and he was cold and distant, knowing how to twist his words to hurt in the right places so the twins would be left alone. At the times that Kuro had to assume control, he was explosive and brash, screaming and punching if necessary. Their mother would sometimes cry that she felt like she was dealing with two different people.

Kuro chuckled whenever he heard that.

Well, she wasn’t wrong, was she?

Even with Kuro having to intervene to protect Shiro from time to time, it had been years since the last time he had had to knock his brother out. Even if their situation was shit, he was happy that they were at least together.

(He vowed to never tell Shiro why he was born. His brother didn’t need to know that they were defiled like that. Kuro could bear that weight alone.)

Puberty also made something else bloom: their sexuality.

Kuro was the first one to realize what he liked, and he liked boys. Men, to be more precise. He liked lean muscles, big dicks and round asses.

Shiro blushed when he realized that he liked both.

In the beginning, it was a little awkward to have sexual fantasies in a shared body.

Kuro was the one that said in their shared mind palace “What the fuck! We share a fucking body and you’re embarrassed of your thoughts, Shiro!?”

Shiro stared at him before guffawing.

“A ‘fucking’ body?”

Kuro couldn’t help but snicker.

“You know what I mean!”

Tentatively, they started to share that too. Kuro was kinda “meh” about Shiro’s fantasies with women, but he could relate with the ones about men. Apparently, they shared the same tastes in what they liked about a man’s body.

Kuro was the first to have a real life sexual experience.

It was with a dude that they met near a bar, a dude that bought them some beer.

Kuro refused vehemently to bottom. Just thinking of anybody touching his body down there made him hyperventilate and want to punch something. Shiro was always able to calm him down.

Thus, since the first time, Kuro was the one on top.

Also, since the first time, Kuro was rough.

Very rough.

He didn’t know from where it came from that will to choke, to hit, to be violent with their partner. He didn’t want to know. He felt ashamed that all the time that he fucked someone, he was aggressive and wanted to cause pain. Shiro tried to help with his angst by trying to provide information about a type of sexual fantasy, a violent one. Kuro, however, still deep in the shame and self-hatred that came with his trauma (like a stain on his soul that would never be clean), didn’t want to know at that moment. All he knew was that he was fated to be alone in that aspect. That was why, although he was the more sexually active of the two, he never had a boyfriend.

Shiro took a little bit more time, a little bit more patience.

(“Patience yield focus, Kuro.” Kuro would only roll his eyes.)

However, he was the one with the most romantic partners and the one with more experience in things other than simply fucking. Hand jobs, oral, fingering… you name it, Shiro had probably done it. His first time was with a girl that he had been dating for a while. It was romantic and really boring for Kuro to watch. What was the fun in women anyway? Kuro’s very gay ass couldn’t understand at all.

But Shiro’s first time with a boy, a boy a year older than him, was even more disturbing to Kuro.

Shiro was the bottom.

No, worse than that: Shiro _liked_ to bottom.

The whole time Shiro was having fun, Kuro was at the verge of a panic attack.

No! He couldn’t snap! He just couldn’t! His brother deserved to do whatever he wanted! It was his body too! No matter how much of a sore spot that was for him, Kuro couldn’t punch Shiro’s boyfriend! He must bear this for Shiro’s sake!

Later that night, Shiro stared at him with gentleness.

“You were really triggered by that, weren’t you?”

Kuro didn’t know precisely what “triggered” meant in that context, but he nodded.

(While Shiro had tried to research, what exactly they were and any symptom that could be associated with it, Kuro didn’t care much. Shiro had said at some point that their condition was called Dissociative identity disorder. Kuro had shrugged “Oh, multiple personalities? I don’t need a degree to diagnose that” Shiro rolled his eyes “Your simplicity baffles me sometimes.” “Fight me, Shiro!”)

Shiro sighed and embraced his brother the best he could in their condition, as if trying to comfort him.

“You’re safe… I would never let anybody hurt you”.

Kuro didn’t want to admit it, but he was almost crying, holding onto his stubbornness to keep his stoic posture.

Shiro went slow while dating men. He would take a long time with foreplay and preparation, anything to make Kuro not feel threatened in any way. Kuro forced himself to stay calm, to breathe. There was no threat, they were safe. He was safe.

With time, that stopped triggering Kuro. He was still somewhat uncomfortable with Shiro being an “exclusive bottom”, but he wasn’t on the edge anymore. It was tolerable.

(“That’s not how triggers work!” Shiro had complained. Kuro shrugged and answered, “It worked for me,” much to Shiro’s utter frustration).

Kuro knew that one day Shiro would settle down with a nice gal or a nice pal, and he, Kuro, would have to abstain from sex completely. He couldn’t jeopardize Shiro’s love life.

He had to protect Shiro, provide him with a good life. That was Kuro’s mission.

At some point, there were two men.

Brothers who shared a body, a mind and a life.

They had just turned 18 years old and they had grown into good men.

Shiro turned to Kuro on the night of their eighteenth birthday when they were alone in their bedroom with pleading eyes.

\- What do you want to do with your life?

Kuro blinked, surprised at the sudden question.

He never had any big ambition. Not really. He liked cars, he liked beer and he liked to fight. He never thought too hard about what else.

(Protecting Shiro was the only thing he could think about doing for the rest of his life.)

\- I don’t exactly have plans.

\- What? How can you have no plans?

Kuro shrugged before letting out a lopsided smirk.

\- I know that you probably have something on your mind.

Shiro blushed.

\- That’s beside the point!

\- But I don’t have anything on my mind. Why don’t you tell me what you want and we’ll see if we can work something out, hum?

Shiro kept blushing. He was embarrassed.

\- Well! You know how I dreamed of being an astronaut?

Kuro smirked again.

\- Yeah, I do. We used to rock that stars onesie.

Shiro’s blush deepened.

\- So I was thinking of applying to the Galaxy Garrison.

There was silence between them.

\- The Garrison? – Kuro asked at last – Their selection is fucking brutal.

\- I know! But we can do it! I-I mean, if you’re up for it. I can do the writing and spoken tests, but I would need you to do the physical tests. A-also, if we apply, it would be a career for a long time, so we would have to compromise. But I swear that they pay well and I swear that-

Kuro interrupted him with a knowing smile.

\- You really wanna do it, don’t you?

Shiro sighed and stared at his brother with determination.

\- Yes.

Kuro chuckled.

He didn’t have any plans or dreams anyway. Also, that sounded exciting. He never really cared for space, but maybe that could change with a few adventures.

\- So it’s decided! We’ll apply to the Garrison.

Shiro stared at him with a serious expression.

\- Are you sure, Kuro? That might be a decision for a lifetime.

Kuro shrugged.

\- I don’t have any plans for Saturday night anyway.

Shiro studied his face for a while before beaming.

\- Thank you! Thank you so freaking much!

They applied the very next day.

Leaving their parents’ house was… eventful.

Their mother cried, begging for their forgiveness one last time. Shiro dealt with her with his usual coldness. He loved his mother, but he could never forgive her for letting his brother down. She wanted them to stay and settle down. Shiro gently told her no, without providing any other explanation.

Their father screamed. He was a great general and he demanded that his son enlisted in the U.S. Army, not the Galaxy Garrison. Kuro dealt with him with his usual fiery fury. He always loathed the man anyway, so one last punch to his ego left a sweet taste in his mouth. Kuro told him to fuck off, calling him a motherfucker and physically punching him when he tried to stop them.

They were on their own, and they agree that it was so delicious…

Freedom! Freedom at last!

Of course they were accepted into the Galaxy Garrison. How could they not be? With Shiro’s brain and Kuro’s strength, they were an invincible team.

Shiro stared worried at the surprisingly content Kuro on their first night sharing a room with other people.

“Are you sure you’re happy with this? This is the last chance to quit”.

Kuro chuckled.

He was comfortable and Shiro was happy.

If Shiro was happy, he was happy.

He gave Shiro his remarkable lopsided grin.

“There’s no other place I’d rather be but here with you.”


	2. Golden Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language. This story if partially betaed, and there is just one peculiarity before you start reading:  
> \- [Text after dashes] = TALKING (A Romance Language custom)  
> "[Text between quotation marks]" = THE CONVERSATIONS INSIDE SHIRO AND KURO'S HEAD
> 
> Now, to the story!

Keith hated the military.

His old social worker would have shaken his head and said that Keith hated authority figures altogether, and that the boy had a blatant hate and disrespect for rules in general.

Keith begged to differ.

He wasn’t against authority figures who deserved respect and rules that made sense. Anything other than those weren’t worth obeying, in his opinion.

That was how he ended up as a “troubled case” when he was in the foster system, and with an “undisciplined” record at the Galaxy Garrison.

Keith hated the military. He hated all the stupid rules made only to keep the hierarchy (to “keep people in their places”). He hated most of the arrogant professors/superior officers (who thought that their military patents were enough for them to be important and worth respecting).

He hated to have his life so fucking _controlled_ like that.

That was how he ended up in Commander Iverson’s office.

Again.

At least Keith had mastered the ability to keep a straight face no matter what.

That was the only way he could handle Iverson’s numerous scoldings.

If only he was able to keep his tongue in check at all times, he wouldn’t be in Iverson’s office that Tuesday afternoon.

Keith just wanted to fucking fly!

He didn’t want a “career” in the ranks.

He just wanted to _fly_!

Unfortunately for Keith, the military were still the only ones who could go further and explore new planets and moons. Keith wanted to see new things, he wanted to go where no other pilot had gone before. Therefore, he needed to hold his tongue.

He kept his mouth closed, his expression neutral and his posture straight while Iverson was still screaming at him about his “wasted potential”.

The Commander was red when he finished.

\- You are lucky, cadet, that I have a person to tutor you and keep you in line! Otherwise, I would put you on the cleaning duty for MONTHS!

Keith couldn’t help but blink without understanding.

\- What do you mean, sir?

Iverson seemed to be on the verge of an aneurysm.

\- There is a small addendum in the rules: in the case that a promising cadet appears to be having disciplinary issues, an appropriate tutor may be appointed. And you, Kogane, are very, very lucky that someone was crazy enough to offer himself up as a tutor. Your grades seem to be passable and your sim records acceptable enough, so you _maybe_ have some potential.

If wasn’t for the fact Keith was keeping a poker face he would have rolled his eyes and scowled. Keith’s grades were one of the highest in his class and he had beaten every single one of the previous records on the flight simulator. Iverson was trying to pull him down, by lessening Keith’s accomplishments.

Keith was aware of the Garrison’s grooming techniques. They would push their cadets to the limit, pin them against each other and fuel fake rivalries, dismiss accomplishments until the cadets are begging for a compliment from the superiors (or until they give up), or diminishing their achievements, or make them seem like a Garrison effort, not an individual one. Among with that, the Garrison also kept the cadets away from their families (young adults who were living on their own for the first time) and control the information that could enter or leave their building. The cadets also had strict rules and harsh punishments. It would be considered a brainwashing camp if wasn’t for the weekends, the only moments the cadets (who weren’t being punished for some stupid rule) were allowed to visit the town nearby (and even those visits have a curfew).

The one thing being a lone orphan taught Keith was to know his own value.  

Yes, it was still irritating to hear Iverson and other professors or instructors to try to lessen Keith’s own achievements, but he knew his value, he knew his limits and his strong points. Iverson and his dancing monkeys could try as much as they can to “tame” Keith with those shitty techniques, but they’s never win.

Iverson pressed a button on the office telephone and his secretary picked up.

\- Call Shirogane here immediately.

Keith cringed in his mind.

Oh, great! Garrison poster boy would be his nanny.

A young man, just a few years older than Keith himself, entered the office with a polite smile.

It was impossible not to recognize him from the Garrison posters.

After Iverson gave some instructions to Shirogane, the 4th year cadet smiled to the 1st year.

\- Follow me, please.

Keith did as he was told, but he was fully intending not to make things easy for Garrison’s Golden Boy.

Cadet Shirogane took them to an empty classroom. He smiled brightly.

\- I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Takashi Shirogane, but you can call me Shiro.

He offered his hand for Keith to shake.

Oh, so that was the game Shirogane was going to play: the “good cop”.

Well, he would have to work harder than this, if he was going to butter Keith up into the Garrison’s next lap dog.

Keith kept the soldier stance and didn’t shake Shirogane’s hand.

\- Cadet Kogane, sir. – he presented himself, still wearing his poker face.

Shirogane’s smile became awkward for a moment and he scratched the back of his neck.

\- Huh…No need to call me sir.

\- Duly noted, sir.

\- Seriously, there is no need.

\- I understand, sir.

Shirogane looked at him, unimpressed. Keith blinked, feigning innocence while he gloated on the inside.

\- Keith, isn’t it?

\- Yes, sir.

\- Look, Keith, I’m not here to scorn you or to punish you.

\- Understood, sir.

\- Would you stop that?

\- Stop what, sir?

\- Seriously, I’m on your side!

In his defence, Keith was tired.

He just wanted to go back to his dorm and he didn’t want to deal with Mr. Golden Boy.

He rolled his eyes and answered with sarcasm.

\- I’m sure you are, sir. Helping me unlock my undeveloped tiny potential!

Shirogane frowned.

\- Not exactly. More like how to navigate through the Garrison and fix your disciplinary problems.

\- Oh, yeah, because everybody wants to be Garrison’s poster boy.

\- Oh, come on. I’m not that much of a Garrison’s spawn!

Keith glared.

\- With all due respect, _sir_ , but you reek of asskisser and military rules.

Shirogane sighed in exasperation.

\- You would be surprised.

\- I doubt it, sir. Gimme just one example when you’ve ever broken a rule.

For three seconds Shirogane’s expression was still exasperated. However, it shifted to a devilish shine in his eyes and a small lopsided grin.

\- I was the one who put the cow on Iverson’s office last week.

Keith’s eyes widened in shock.

He was thunderstruck.

\- No fucking way.

The “Cow incident” was a prank.

A prank against none other than the Commander Iverson himself. Someone had sneaked a cow into his office, and let it make its home there. The cameras mysteriously didn’t show anything, and no one saw or heard a cow. Iverson had screamed almost nonstop at every one for one whole hour last Wednesday.

That was a prank against him, since the culprit had left him a note. Iverson never said what was in that, so there were many theories and gossip.

Shirogane’s lopsided grin grew for two seconds before his whole expression went back to one of exasperation. He massaged his forehead, frowning, as if he was angry with himself for having revealed that information to Keith.

\- I don’t believe you. – Keith crossed his arms.

Shirogane sighed.

\- Of course you don’t. Good thing that I kept a trophy.

He pulled out his phone from his pocket.

Shirogane had a picture of himself beside the infamous cow. He was grinning that lopsided grin from before. They were in Iverson’s office.

\- Photoshop. – Keith said, surprised – It must be Photoshop.

\- Do you want me to tell you exactly what was in the letter and why Iverson was so angry? – he asked, quirking one eyebrow up.

\- You could say anything and there won’t be a way to prove if it is true or not.

\- I beg to differ. – Shiro smirked (not quite the same as the lopsided grin from before) – Why do you think he made a full speech three days later about how the Garrison doesn’t have a secret alien research facility?

Keith’s jaw was hanging.

\- It was a juvenile joke about how we were offering a sacrifice to the alien gods. – Shirogane snickered – But, as a friend likes to say, Iverson wouldn’t get a joke even if it hit him in the face.

Keith blinked.

Then he blinked again.

What the hell was that?

A _Twilight Zone_ episode?

Since fucking when would fucking the Garrison's Golden Boy fucking do some shit like that?

Shirogane grinned.

\- Soooooo, how about we start again? Hi! My name is Takashi Shirogane, please call me Shiro, and welcome to “How to properly break the rules and how to navigate through Garrison 101”.

He offered his hand for Keith for a handshake again. This time, Keith couldn’t help but shake it.

\- Keith Kogane, and fucking shit! I’m impressed!

Shiro laughed.

\- Yeah, I’m sure you are. I know that the Garrison has all these policies to try to bend the new cadets to their will, and I know that they like to use my image for it, but I assure you that there’s more to me than just the Golden Boy.

If it was possible, Keith was even more impressed.

\- You know about the grooming they do?

\- Yeah… I mean, if it wasn’t for a great friend helping me, I think I would have broken down under that pressure long ago.

\- I thought the Golden Boy would have it easy.

\- Well, that’s true for now. But I wasn’t always like that and being the Golden Boy isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. The pressure is only different.

Keith narrowed his eyes.

\- Iverson said that you volunteered to be my tutor.

Shiro blushed.

\- I… huh… Yeah, I did.

\- Why?

Shiro smiled. He was even more handsome when he was smiling.

\- Because I’m really impressed by your results on the simulators. I mean, oh my god, you broke all the high scores!

\- But you did that yourself before.

\- Well, yeah? But not in the first year? I mean, what you did was awesome, Keith!

Keith blushed and smiled timidly, a warm feeling of pride blooming inside him.

\- Ah… Thank you…

\- With scores like that, you’ll go further! Who knows? Maybe you’ll be the first pilot to explore Pluto’s moons!

Shiro seemed like an excited puppy. It was cute and he seemed very sincere about everything he was saying. He didn’t seem like he was trying to butter Keith up into the shape the Garrison wanted. Besides, he had put a cow (a COW!) inside Iverson’s office, and that automatically put him in Keith’s good books.

That made Keith relax and keep his smile.

\- We just have to work on your – Shiro made air quotes with his fingers – “disciplinary problems” and you will be the best pilot of this generation!

Keith grinned.

\- When do we start?

 

* * *

 

 

“You’re welcome,” Kuro said smugly in their shared mind space when they got back to their dorm. Matt wasn’t there yet, but the brothers didn’t want to risk being caught talking to each other aloud.

Finally, Shiro allowed himself to relax and he blushed like a tomato.

“Why did you had to tell Keith about the cow?” he whined. “Now he has the wrong impression of me already!”

He could almost feel Kuro rolling his eyes.

“Bro, he open up to you after I told him about it! Besides, he isn’t the type to snitch that kind of thing.”

Years of seeing Kuro always being able to precisely know a person’s character just by looking at them made Shiro trust his brother’s judgement.

“Also,” Kuro added with his lopsided grin, “you and Katie were the ones who left the note. Matt and I just left the cow.”

Shiro couldn’t help but grin too.

“I needed to give my special touch! And that made it even better.”

“Heh. You’re right, bro.”

Kuro smiled pleased and quirked an eyebrow before asking, “And you're calling me your 'friend' now?” He was not angry, just teasing.

“It seemed better than saying ‘Oh, my twin brother helped me, you know, the one that lives with me in my head’.”

Sometimes Shiro believed that the only reason he hadn’t succumbed to the pressure of the Garrison was Kuro’s constant presence. He would either crack a joke to cheer Shiro up, take him away from the studies when he was too stressed or point out those dirty and sneaky tactics that the Garrison used. Obviously, Shiro also had help from his other friends (especially Matt Holt and his family), but Kuro would always be his greatest help and his closest friend.

Kuro gave him his lopsided grin.

“As I said, you’re welcome! Now you deal with your crush yourself.”

Shiro blushed again.

When he first heard about a pilot who was able to break all his records, he was impressed. Also, being the Golden Boy was a lonely position. If he had someone to share the crown, an equal, maybe it wouldn’t be that lonely. At least he would have a friend who knew what was it like.

However, his first reaction when he saw the picture of the first year who broke his records was to think, “Oh, no! He’s cute!” and to blush. Kuro relentlessly teased him for days.

Unfortunately, Shiro didn’t have any contact with the first years and Keith was an elusive person. Matt teased Shiro, saying that Keith was a cryptic creature like the Mothman. Kuro teased Shiro, saying that he was the prince looking for Cinderella without the glass slipper.

By chance, he heard about Keith’s disciplinary problems. Apparently, Keith liked to give sassy answers to the professors and other officials. Well, Shiro had indeed memorized the rulebook (in case he needed to get his brother out of trouble), and he remembered that small rule about the tutors.

Shiro seized that opportunity to meet his crush.

He was even more handsome on a closer look, and he seemed like a good person (well, he had Kuro’s seal of approval).

And now he would have “tutoring sessions” with Shiro frequently.

Shiro felt giggly.

He would see the gorgeous and talented Keith at least three days a week.

That seemed to be a perfect situation!

Of course that Kuro had to spoil the moment.

“I have to admit: he is _hot_!” Kuro grinned, “I could eat that ass all night long.”

“OH MY GOD KURO STOP BEING A CREEP!”

 

 

* * *

 

At first, Keith had some doubts about Shiro’s methods and intentions. In the first few days of his tutoring, Shiro made him read and memorize the Garrison’s rulebook. It was boring, annoying and everything Keith had believed that bullshit would be about (keep him in line).

However, after Keith had memorized the rules well enough by Shiro’s standards, Shiro grinned and proceeded to teach Keith about all the loopholes possible. He even recruited the help of one of his closest friends for that, Matthew Holt.

Matt was a lean man with glasses and a mischievous smirk.

\- Ah, young Padawan! – he said, when he started to explain to Keith how to justify being caught out his dorm after curfew – You have so much to learn!

Shiro snickered and Keith couldn’t help but grin himself.

 Knowing how to bend the Garrison’s authoritarian rules made Keith feel more at ease with living there.

\- It isn’t the ideal. – Shiro said one afternoon when they were having their tutoring session on the Garrison’s rooftop – I mean, there are a lot of other people who still feel crushed and don’t have it in them to just bend the rules. But we can start from here and when we have some power, try to change things!

Keith really appreciated that Shiro was trying to help. It was good to see some genuine care in that crushing place.

That information was helping Keith a bit, but it didn’t change the fact that he was still annoyed and angry with the professors and officers most of the time. Who they think they were to treat people like that? Also, they insisted on using Keith (the best pilot of that year’s class) to push others. Keith wouldn’t be surprised if every single other pilot on the class thought that they were rivals or even blood sworn enemies by now.

Before meeting Shiro and Matt, Keith’s only companions would be books.

At least the Galaxy Garrison had a fairly diverse library, and the books that weren’t there but that Keith wanted to read he could pick at the Public Library on Saturdays mornings and smuggle them in with him.

Since a very young age, he always loved to lose himself in words of fantasy, mystery, terror, or any other fictional genre he could put his hands on. His favorites were Sci-Fi, of course. He couldn’t resist rereading some classics like Isaac Asimov, Arthur C. Clark and even some Philip Dick. He had been trying to read some more modern authors, especially some that were big on the cyberpunk scenario, but it wasn’t the same thing as the classics.

However, having only books was lonely most the time.

Keith was used to being alone, since his life after his father’s death was not easy. However, being alone and being under the Garrison’s pressure was not easy to swallow. Even with Keith doing his best to hold on, he felt snappy and angry most of the time.

He told Shiro about that at one of their sessions. Shiro and Matt seemed to be his only friends in that unforgiving place. Keith was glad that he could talk with the two, otherwise he would have already exploded a long time ago.

Shiro hummed and scratched his chin.

\- Maybe we can work something out, to improve your patience.

Keith frowned.

\- What the hell does patience has to do with my situation?

\- Well, - Shiro smiled – being patient is a good way to avoid being distracted by the external provocations or your own emotions. Keep your cool even under adverse situations so you can keep going or so you can make the best decisions. Patience yields Focus.

Keith hummed in agreement.

\- Ok, that seems fair. But how can I apply that zen mumbo jumbo to my life?

Shiro grinned.

\- Meet me in the training room tomorrow at six in the morning and we can work this out.

Keith had complained about the early hour but he showed up at the right time.

Shiro grinned, pleased.

\- Glad you could make it, Keith! Let’s get started! And remember: Patience yields Focus.

That extra training was divided in two parts.

The first one was combat training.

Keith raised one eyebrow at that.

\- And how fighting will help me?

Shiro shrugged.

\- It burns away your tension and helps with relaxing. Less tension and anger, more patience and focus. Come on, – he positioned himself on the mat. He blinked for one moment and then gave Keith a smug lopsided grin – hit me.

Keith smirked.

\- As you wish.

It turned out, they were surprisingly evenly-matched. Shiro might have all the techniques and martial art combat training, but Keith had his own experience, his fast reflexes and he had learned a long time ago how to use his small size to his advantage.

They laid on the mat together after a few rounds (four wins for Shiro, three for Keith). Shiro grinned lopsidedly.

\- You _have_ to teach me those moves, Keith.

Keith grinned too, still panting and trying to catch his breath.

\- And you have to teach me yours, Shiro.

Shiro barked a laugh.

\- Deal, short stuff.

Then he closed his eyes for a few moments, as if trying to regulate his breathing too. When Shiro opened his eyes again, his expression was softer than before.

\- Now it comes the second part of this training.

\- Huh? What is it?

\- Meditation. There is no use calming the body if you aren’t going to calm your mind.

On that part, Keith had some more difficulties. Shiro guided him through a ten-minute meditation exercise, but Keith still found it very difficult to quieten down his thoughts.

\- It’s ok. – Shiro said with a gentle shrug and matching smile – The first times are difficult. It takes practice.

Keith only hummed.

\- I think it’s enough for today. – Shiro scratched the back of his neck nervously – Meet you tomorrow for another morning session?

Keith smiled gently.

\- Yeah, sounds great to me!

Through the whole day, Keith kept repeating to himself “Patience yields focus”.

Sounded silly, but it was actually very good advice.

Keith smiled to himself.

He was actually _glad_ that Shiro decided to take his case.

 

* * *

 

\- He’s just _so_ amazing! – Shiro gushed – He’s improving fast and he will probably will even be greater than us!

His therapist chuckled.

\- It is good that helping a young prodigy is making you feel good about yourself.

As soon as Shiro and Kuro got accepted to the Galaxy Garrison, Shiro looked up for a therapist for the twins. He loved his brother and he would do anything to help him, but what they were wasn’t exactly usual.

Besides, Shiro wanted to help his brother somehow. He knew that Kuro bore some trauma that he didn’t want to talk about. Maybe therapy would help.

The Garrison had a small rule that said that a person enlisted (officer or cadet) could take half a weekday for health appointments, Since there wasn’t a list of what the Garrison considered to be “health appointments”, Shiro used that to go to therapy every Thursday.

So far, that had been really helpful for Shiro.

\- What about you Kuro? – the therapist asked – How do you feel about it?

Kuro, on the other hand, was stubborn as a mule.

\- The dude is OK. – he answered dryly.

\- Care to elaborate?

\- No.

Shiro groaned.

\- Come on, Kuro! You were excited about Keith! He can keep up with you in a fight and you even said you liked him!

\- I don’t remember such thing.

Shiro groaned in frustration.

Why must his brother be so **stubborn**!

The therapist shook their head gently.

\- That’s ok, Shiro. I’m sure Kuro will participate in the conversation when he wants to.

Kuro grunted and moped in his corner of their shared mindspace.

Shiro sighed.

At least both brothers were glad to have an apprentice for the role of the Garrison’s Golden Boy. It would have been good to have an older student to help them when they were struggling with the pressure.

Shiro blushed.

And it helped that Keith was _very_ easy on the eyes.

If Thursdays were Shiro’s therapy day, Fridays were Kuro’s “therapy” days. Or, as Shiro liked to call them, Kuro’s crazy Fridays.

The reason why it was fairly easy to Shiro to deal and talk with Keith after they broke the ice was because Keith and Kuro were very similar. Just like Keith, Kuro also had many problems controlling his own rage, especially against the whole Garrison. Shiro helped his brother deal with those problems in a similar way.

Shiro helped any way he could.

After all, Shiro was just that, “the help”.

Kuro never treated him as nothing but his equal, but Shiro was not an idiot. He knew that the real Takashi Shirogane, the one that was born and not made up, must be Kuro. After all, Kuro was the one that had all the memories, the one that could make him black out, the tough and strong brother. Shiro was probably created just to be a playmate for a lonely boy in a harsh environment, but Kuro was just too good and nice to undo Shiro (even if Kuro would deny with a very colorful vocabulary about being good and nice).

Shiro was there to deal with the “un-fun” bits of Kuro’s life.

He didn’t resent his brother for that. Kuro always treated Shiro nicely and he would go out of his way to make him happy. Kuro cared about him like a real brother. Also, Shiro kinda liked the things he did (they weren’t “un-fun” to him).

In the end, however, he would always be the second persona, the one created to be just a playmate and the one responsible for what Kuro didn’t want to do, “the help”.

Shiro helped Kuro to achieve greatness.

That also meant going to Kuro’s crazy Fridays.

Kuro would drive to the opposite way on their hoverbike to the nearest town.

Down in that direction there was a second city, similar in size, but less under the Garrison influence. A place where their face wouldn’t be recognized and Kuro could introduce himself by his own name.

Kuro always liked to roam the streets.

He would drink, smoke (cigars and sometimes weed. Never anything stronger than that, though) and mess around playing whatever gambling game he could find (poker, billiards, blackjack, and others). He never lost too much money, since he had long ago learned how to cheat and because Kuro was playing more for the fun and company than to gamble.

When Kuro got to his now usual bar, some of his friends saluted him.

\- Hey there, Champ! Ready to lose to me in poker again?

Kuro smirked lopsided.

\- If I remember correctly, Pablo, Mad-dog cleaned your wallet last Friday.

Johnny “Mad-dog” raised his beer with a shit-eating grin.

\- That’s right!

\- Fuck off both of you! – Pablo grumbled.

The group, comprising eight people with dangerous looks and various degrees of bad reputation, laughed and pulled up a chair for Kuro to sit.

Kuro would stay with his friends for a while, just gambling, drinking and fooling around.

At 1am, Kuro would go fight.

In their second year, Kuro had stumbled into a fighting ring and, liking to fight like he did, he entered it. The fights would always be in different places in order to avoid the cops, and Kuro always got a text message with the address. He was a house favorite since he started, always winning and always making a show of it while grinning lopsided. That was fun for Kuro and money for the twins (since there were always bets and since the winning fighter always got a percentage out of it).

His friends would cheer him on, loudly and rambunctiously. Some also competed in the fights, but they knew better than to go against the house champion. 

Shiro was the one dealing with the money that Kuro was earning for them, but there was always more than enough for each of the twins to use as they want and still save some for a rainy day. The fights were where the money that they used to buy the hoverbike came from, for example.

After the fight, Kuro would also usually say goodbye to his friends and pick up a man to spend part of the night. Sometimes someone from a bar, sometimes a sex worker. Kuro always used protection, of course, but he made sure never to see the person again.

(“I’m sure that most of them don’t want to see me again too,” Kuro had said once. “That is not true, Kuro!” Kuro chuckled. “You have seen their expressions.” “I’m sure someone would want to see you again, even with you being rough.” Kuro just shrugged).

\- When you start dating Keith, I might have to stop doing this. – Kuro commented quietly that specific Friday at 5 in the morning, when he was already mounting the hoverbike to go back to the Garrison.

Shiro felt himself blushing.

\- Keith is not even into men.

Kuro stared at him, unimpressed, through the rear-view mirror.

\- Shiro, he is gay. He is probably the gayest gay you had ever dated and you dated a lot of gay people.

Shiro blushed harder.

\- He doesn’t look like it!

\- Neither do I, and here I am, gaying all the way from the Garrison to the fight ring. – he started the engine – Just ask him out already. This dancing around is already getting old.

 

* * *

 

It was really weird to see Shiro’s lessons having practical results in Keith’s life, but Keith had to admit that it was working.

Keith still hated the Garrison’s policies, he hated most of the officers and professors, but now it was easy for him to hold his tongue. He knew how to break the rules and the morning training with Shiro had helped him keep his focus, take a deep breath before acting.

Patience yields Focus.

A very good motto and Keith was really thankful to Shiro for having shared that with him.

With time, their tutoring sessions became more of an excuse to hang out together. Sometimes Matt would tag along, but usually it was just the two of them in the Garrison.

Matt usually was the one who gave Keith a lift to the city on Saturdays, since Shiro was already out on Friday nights.

\- You’re welcome, young Padawan! – Matt would grin to him in reply – It’s nice to help someone with good taste in literature.

Matt and his sister, Katie (whom Keith would meet sporadically), were very interested in debating things about Sci-fi. Usually they would try to argue about why the things in the books were impossible in real life, which was kinda annoying. However, Keith liked their theories about how to make the books more realistic, and how to apply what was in the books, in real life.

Shiro liked to read too, but oddly enough he liked classical romance books.

He laughed nervously when Keith pointed that out.

\- It’s a guilty pleasure of mine. – he explained while holding a copy of “Pride and Prejudice” – I mean, I really like Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy’s romance.

Keith had chuckled.

\- Hey, I’m not judging. It is a good book.

Shiro had beamed.

Sometimes Shiro would be caught reading some terror and horror books. He would smile lopsided to Keith and say:

\- I’m an eclectic man, short stuff.

Shiro would invite him to hang out on Saturday afternoons from time to time. They would usually visit museums, go to the movies or just hang out outside the Garrison. It started as only a few days each month, but now they were meeting almost every Saturday to hang out together.

The older student was genuinely friendly and caring. Even with the Garrison trying to use him as the extreme rival, the one all the other pilots should hate, people actually liked Shiro. He tried to help anyone he could and he was chill to hang around.

Keith couldn’t help himself but find that really sweet of Shiro.

Shiro had a very peculiar sense of humour. Most of the time, it was just puns and silly jokes, but sometimes he would smile lopsided and tell a dirty joke that made Keith blush and guffaw.

It was also easy to talk to him about anything. There was no judgement there, just sincere interest.

After a lifetime with people not giving a damn about him, having someone honestly interested was addicting to Keith.

He didn’t notice when it happened, but soon he caught himself fantasizing about Shiro. Some days, when Shiro smiled the right way, the daydreams were just about kissing his lips gently to know how they would feel against Keith’s. On other days, when Keith pinned Shiro against the mat, his fantasies weren’t that innocent.

(There was also a third type, either when Shiro pinned Keith against the mat or when he gave Keith an order in a harsher tone, of fantasy that Keith didn’t like to admit he had. He didn’t even know if Shiro was into men. He probably wouldn’t be interested in being dominant like _that_ in bed. Only in Keith’s wild fantasies).

Keith didn’t know what to do about it.

 

* * *

 

Shiro sighed tired.

\- I can’t BELIEVE that Professor Montgomery made us write a whole essay on spare tools in a spaceship!

Matt groaned.

\- Tell me about it! I really couldn’t care less if we have to carry extra screwdrivers in different compartments, and now I have to write a damn **essay** about it!

\- I mean, I can see the importance of extra screwdrivers, but why make us make an essay about it?!

Matt grunted annoyed.

\- I’m gonna do mine tomorrow night. Do you want to tag along so we help each other?

Shiro didn’t heard the full question, for Keith was passing by at that moment.

As usual, Keith was walking while reading a book (“Childhood’s End” by Arthur C. Clarke this time). Even if he seemed distracted, he was very aware of his surroundings. Shiro smiled and waved to him and Keith noticed. He smiled back and waved before continuing on to where he was going.

Matt had an exasperated look on his face when Shiro looked back at him.

\- Shiro, when the fuck will you ask Keith out on a date?! This is getting **ri-di-cu-lous**!

Shiro blushed like a tomato.

Matt continued.

\- Seriously, EVERYBODY already thinks that you two are dating! I had two girls asking me for how long you two were boyfriends! Two!

\- What a tragedy. – Shiro rolled his eyes.

\- You two are making heart eyes for each other!

\- We are just friends!

\- Stop being a baby and just kiss him! He wants you to do that!

Shiro just blushed harder.

It was weird that Kuro wasn’t agreeing with Matt that afternoon. He usually would, even if it was inside their shared mindspace. That day, Kuro was quiet. Not a moping kind of quiet, but a mischievous one. Shiro would catch glimpses of Kuro smirking lopsidedly through the many mirrors and other reflective surfaces they passed that day (a smirk directed to Shiro and that would disappear fast, thus no one else noticed).

That afternoon Shiro had agreed with Keith to meet on the rooftop for their “tutoring”.

“I want to speak with him.” Kuro said with confidence and that same smirk.

Shiro frowned.

“What are you going to do?”

“Don’t worry, nothing you’ll regret later.”

“I have a bad feeling about it”.

“Relax, Luke, and let me handle Han.”

“Shouldn’t I be Leia if Keith is Han Solo?”

“Bro, you always shipped Han with Luke.”

“I always shipped both of the Skywalker twins with Han, but fair enough.”

 

* * *

 

Keith was reading outside and enjoying the dry desert breeze near the edge of the rooftop when Shiro got there. The setting sun made him look particularly stunning that afternoon.

\- Hey. – Keith greeted him with a smile.

\- Hey. – Shiro answered casually while sitting beside Keith – How was your day?

Shiro’s question was just the usual one he always asked Keith when they met in the afternoons. However, on that day something was different. Something was… softer.

Gentler.

Keith turned to Shiro.

Shiro was smiling at him in a different way, and although Keith wanted to believe that it was affection and attraction, he preferred a more cautious approach.

Patience yielded focus after all.

\- Huh, it was OK. Why are you looking at me like that?

\- Like what? – Shiro smiled. It was still a gentle smile, but today it was a little lopsided (the charming curl Shiro’s lips would have when he was being more playful and carefree).

\- Like that. – Keith pointed to Shiro’s whole face.

Sometimes Keith would get annoyed with his own awkwardness and lack of means to express himself.

Shiro chuckled.

\- I was just thinking about something that I wanted to ask you. To know what would be your answer.

Keith blinked.

\- Then ask. I really don’t like to dance around a topic.

Shiro’s smile was bigger and still charmingly crooked.

\- My question, what would you do if I do this…?

Shiro leaned forward and into Keith’s personal space. He closed his eyes and gently kissed Keith’s lips.

The whole thing was very sweet but quick. Keith was caught off guard and didn’t know how to react. He just stared at Shiro agape and with wide eyes.

Shiro blinked and blushed, looking as alarmed as Keith with what he had just done.

\- I-I’m sorry! That was… was… - he looked mortified.

“Oh.” Keith thought, feeling light and giggly.

He kept his cool, though.

\- I have to answer your question with another question.

Shiro looked at him in a mix of a kicked puppy and a confused puppy. It shouldn’t be that adorable in a big man like him, but Keith couldn’t help but find that too cute for Shiro’s own good.

He grinned.

\- Why haven’t you done this earlier?

Shiro’s expression was confused for a few moments before he smiled brightly (this time a sweet even grin).

\- Because I am an idiot.

\- You can fix that mistake if you want. – Keith pointed to his own lips with a smirk.

Shiro smiled and embraced him.

\- Gladly.

 

* * *

 

“You’re welcome!” Kuro said smugly once again on their shared mindspace.

Shiro smiled humbly.

“Yeah… Thank you Kuro.”

Kuro was quiet for a moment, as if he was pondering something.

“You… You really like this one. You really like Keith, don’t you?”

Shiro blushed.

“What makes you think that?”

“You were never this insecure before. You aren’t the playboy type, but you aren’t shy either. You usually gets the people you want.”

“Wow… you were really paying attention to my love life.”

“That is beside the point. My point is that you love Keith.”

Shiro blushed again, but he smiled.

“Yeah… I guess I do…”

Kuro nodded.

“Very well.”

 

* * *

 

Kuro watched.

He watched Shiro take Keith on sweet dates, on study dates, on casual dates.

He watched the way Keith’s blue eyes would light up near Shiro, as if Shiro was the sun himself.

They were head over heels for each other.

Completely smitten.

Genuine love on both ends.

Kuro watched.

He watched Shiro finally finding the one he would settle down with.

Hey, at least Keith was a good choice, in Kuro’s opinion.

He was smart, cunning and caring; always willing to listen to Shiro. He was also really fucking hot. Kuro was not lying when he said he could eat that ass all night long.

A Golden Boy for a Golden Boy, huh?

(Sometimes he liked to fantasize tying Keith’s hands behind his back, forcing him down on his knees, grab his soft hair and make him suck Kuro’s cock until he was gagging. Kuro always had those kind of fantasies, or worse. But of course that Kuro was not tell his brother that his boyfriend was the star of Kuro’s dirtiest wet dreams.)

As he had promised to himself, Kuro would abstain from his own one-night stands and other sexual things. The brothers had agreed a long time ago not to tell any lover about their condition, so any casual sex that Kuro have from now on could be interpreted by Keith as Shiro cheating on him.

Kuro was determined to keep his promise and not jeopardize Shiro’s love life, especially with the one he would probably settle down.

After all, the only reason Kuro even existed was to protect Shiro. He was just a shadow of the real Takashi Shirogane and he would fit into that. He was created for that and he would always follow that mission.

Thus, Kuro watched.

He watched they get closer and closer.

He watched they slowly develop a deep trust and commitment.

He watched the first night they made love like normal people do (not like fucked-up beings like Kuro himself).

Kuro could see in Keith’s eyes that he was satisfied in every way and on cloud nine with that relationship.

Kuro knew that Shiro was just the same.

Kuro sighed.

He always knew that that would happen.

It just…

It was still unfair…


	3. Dominant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language. This story if partially betaed, and there is just one peculiarity before you start reading:  
> \- [Text after dashes] = TALKING (A Romance Language custom)  
> "[Text between quotation marks]" = THE CONVERSATIONS INSIDE SHIRO AND KURO'S HEAD
> 
> Now, to the story!

Kuro had to admit that his brother’s relationship with Keith was rather sweet.

The way Shiro and Keith were smitten with each other was indeed adorable. They developed a relationship based on mutual respect, trust and affection. It was sometimes even too sweet for Kuro to bear.

After six months, they seemed even closer and intimate than before. Shiro shared almost all his thoughts and secrets with Keith (Kuro’s existence was the only exception, since the twins had already agreed beforehand to keep that from other people and Kuro refused to revoke that decision). Keith also seemed to share almost everything (his only restriction were some of his nightmares. Sometimes he would wake up startled, sweaty and scared. He would never tell Shiro why, but he would hug him and fall back asleep.)

Kuro was considering giving up on his Friday’s escapades, since this was their last year as cadets in the Garrison and they wouldn’t need him fighting for money anymore. That would be one extra day for Shiro to spend with his Keith. He hadn’t told his brother about it yet. Kuro knew that Shiro would refuse and would insist for Kuro to keep his free night. He didn’t understand that Kuro was just an accessory, just a part of Shiro’s (the real Takashi Shirogane) mind. Just a fucked up part created so he could deal with the fact that he was raped by his father. It seemed only natural for Kuro to just disappear now that Shiro’s life was doing great.

Kuro was just postponing his retreat into the depths of their mind while he still could.

He watched the two of them go on their six month anniversary date.

That was one of the “too sweet” moments that Kuro was talking about. They were the kind of sappy couple that would celebrate every single month that they were together. Kuro hoped that that stopped after the one-year milestone and it became something happening just annually.

The couple had planned a romantic dinner at an old-fashioned diner that Saturday, then they went to a date at the Galaxy Garrison’s Space Museum (like the two nerds they were).

Kuro once again admired how effortlessly handsome and sexy Keith was in his combat boots, tight jeans and dark red leather jacket. He held back from fantasizing about those long legs wrapped around his waist while Kuro fucked into him and squeezed his throat; or fantasizing about pushing Keith to his knees, grabbing the soft hair and forcing him to suck him (always a classic in his head). That was really not the time for a boner (especially not one over his brother’s boyfriend).

After the museum, since it was a weekend and the cadets didn’t necessarily need to go back to the Garrison, Shiro drove Keith to “their shack”.

The shack was a small building that Kuro found one Sunday afternoon when he was bored and Shiro agreed to let him just drive through the desert on their hoverbike just to feel the adrenaline. The small cottage seemed to have been abandoned for a long time. Apparently, someone had used that to try to spot aliens in the past. Shiro and Matt had gushed over the material that they found there (mostly star photos that were left behind). Kuro and Matt would use the place to get wasted or high and to just goof around.

It had only two rooms (“living room/dining room/kitchen” room and a smallish bedroom), a front porch and a bathroom outside the house. The old diesel generator still worked, and it was connected to the old well, making it possible to pump clean water to the house. There were also some old antennae that Shiro and Matt had fun trying to assemble to talk to aliens.

At least Shiro kept the place in some order. He could be a real househusband sometimes.

Shiro had taken Keith there a few times already. That night in particular, they watched the stars together. Shiro had prepared a picnic under the night sky not too far away from the shack.

It was clear to Kuro how the night would end for the couple, since both of them kept staring at each other with arousal in their eyes.

He couldn’t do anything but watch in apprehension. Even after all those years, it was still difficult for Kuro to see his brother bottoming for anyone. Thus, he always stayed in high alert.

Keith initiated the first heated kiss. Shiro followed his lead. Their hands were already fondling each other over their clothes.

They giggled and playfully chased each other inside the shack. They made out against the walls and overall were very carefree about the whole thing. Sex never seemed serious for them, a fact that helped Kuro a little for his anxiety.

They took off their shoes and clothes and laid on the bed together, Keith on top of Shiro.

Keith was a very diligent top, or so Shiro said. Kuro was always torn between keeping high alert and looking away to avoid being triggered. Kuro was tense, but at least he wasn’t panicking like the first couple times Shiro bottomed (he was worked up for days on those occasions).

Keith prepared Shiro gently and then took him with strong movements.

They were smiling and basically praising each other whenever they weren’t moaning, groaning or kissing.

The whole thing was very sweet for them and tense for Kuro. Sometimes he would even feel as if he was watching his brother from outside his own body, as if he was floating on water and just listening to what was happening far away instead of his usual unique perspective through the same eyes of Shiro.

He was glad when it was over once again.

Kuro sighed in relief, already starting to relax and feel like himself again. It was easy for him to tune out the pillow talk the couple shared between gentle kisses and pleased afterglow smiles.

Keith was the best Shiro had ever had, in Kuro’s opinion. He was gentle and caring and always did everything he could to make Shiro comfortable. That definitely puts him in Kuro’s good books and always made it easier for Kuro to unwind after the sex.

Kuro was already back to his normal state again. He was just tired (as he always was on those occasions) and ready to just fall asleep when Shiro talked to him in their shared mindspace.

“Kuro? Are you awake?”

Kuro answered with only a tired groan.

Keith was already fast asleep, so Kuro hoped that his brother wasn’t just after someone to chitchat at that moment.

However, what his brother said _definitely_ woke him up.

“I think you should take Keith out in a date”.

Kuro blinked.

Then blinked once again.

He must have heard wrong.

“Come again?”

Shiro seemed calm.

“You should take Keith out in a date next time,” he thought for a moment. “Maybe you two could go to that sushi place you like.”

“Do you want me to take your boyfriend out just because you don’t like sushi but I do?”

“What? No! The sushi was only a suggestion! You two could, I don’t know, go to a pub or something.”

He could feel that his brother was being serious.

“Are you _really_ suggesting me to take _your_ boyfriend on a _date_ , bro?” he deadpanned.

“Yup! I am!”

Kuro was too stressed out because of that night to think about that at the moment.

“Go to sleep, Shiro. You’re already not thinking straight”.

“Good, because I’m anything but straight. You should take Keith out on a date.”

“Goodnight Shiro,” Kuro said adjusting himself to ignore his brother.

To Kuro, that was probably just a crazy idea that his brother had in the afterglow, something he would had forgotten in the morning. Kuro liked to joke that Shiro’s mind would shut down after a good night of sex and that he would need his beauty sleep to function again.

This time, however, Shiro didn’t drop the subject.

“Maybe you could take Keith in a date to race through the desert,” Shiro suggested during lunch three days later, right after Matt left the table with a knowing smirk and Keith sat beside Shiro. “Since the two of you are really competitive.”

Kuro almost assumed control of their body just so he could dramatically drop the cutlery.

“Bro, what the fuck?”

“What? You two _are_ competitive.”

Kuro frowned.

“I’m going to ignore that.”

“But-”

“Go pay attention to your boyfriend.”

Lucky for Kuro, Keith decided to tell a joke about Professor Johnson at that moment, distracting Shiro and making him drop the subject.

Kuro was set on ignoring that. That couldn’t be serious. His brother was probably just messing with him.

However, Shiro tried again two days later after the combat training with Keith (when Shiro was supposed to be meditating).

“So, there is this new horror movie, ‘Fear of the Abyss’ or something, that I think you could watch with Keith, since the two of you like that kind of thing.”

Kuro grumbled.

“I’m trying to meditate.”

“You never meditated in your whole life!”

“Well, I’m trying now! Drop that stupid idea.”

“It is not stupid!”

“Lalalala, I’m not listening.”

Shiro rolled his eyes.

“Very mature, Kuro.”

“I’M NOT LISTENING LALALALA!”

For the next three weeks, Shiro insisted that Kuro to go on a date with Keith. It started with the occasional suggestion, but evolved into a constant and restlessly nagging.

Kuro didn’t understand what the fuck his brother was doing. Shouldn’t he be more worried about their upcoming graduation from the Garrison and deciding which job offer he would pick instead of some stupid voyeur idea?

He ignored him the best way he could.

However, Kuro couldn’t help but explode at his brother on a Friday, four months before graduation.

“You should invite Keith to go play poker with some of your friends next Friday.”

Kuro groaned and kicked their hoverbike with anger.

\- WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?! – he couldn’t help but shout aloud, making some innocent bystanders look at him in concern.

Kuro glared at his brother through the rear-view and continued his tirade in their mindspace.

“Why the fuck you fucking keep fucking offering your fucking boyfriend to go on a motherfucking date with me!?”

“Language.”

“Fuck you!”

Shiro frowned.

“I just think that you two have a lot in common and that you two should explore that,” his tone was calm and matter-of-fact.

Usually that tone was enough to convince Kuro that that was the sensible thing to be done, if it wasn’t for the subject in question.

“We have nothing in common!”

“Yes you do. I made a list proving that.”

“YOU FUCKING MADE A LIST!?”

“Language, and yes! I did!” Shiro seemed quite proud of that. “I left it in the left pocket of your leather jacket.”

Although the brothers would watch each other most of the time, sometimes they just tuned out of what the one in control of the body was doing. Pretty much like a passenger on the shotgun seat would fall asleep while the driver kept driving. Apparently, during one of those moments, Shiro had made a rather long list of things both Kuro and Keith enjoyed.

“Before you start to complain,” Shiro added, “I made another list with things Keith and I have in common too. The lists are even, and that was really aesthetic pleasing.”

The list included many things that Shiro had already suggested to be used as date ideas for Kuro and Keith and more. It was divided into categories in Shiro’s careful handwriting.

“Don’t you have anything better to do than to nitpick this, bro?”

“Look, I’m being honest here,” Shiro stared in a serious manner to his brother through the rear-view mirror. “I think you and Keith would be a great couple and I can’t see any downside on this.”

“How can you be so fucking OK with sharing your boyfriend of all things!?”

“Kuro, we share a body and a mind.”

“That is different!”

“No it isn’t.”

“Yes, it is!”

“Oh really? Different how, smartass?”

“First of all, bitch, that is involving a third person. A person that is not fucking aware that he’s being shared in the first place!”

“I’m pretty sure Keith won’t mind at all, even if we tell him about our condition”.

“How the fuck he wouldn’t mind that!?”

“Well, both of us have a lot in common with Keith to begin with, so he would be mostly pleased to have many of his tastes matched. Besides, he is really adaptable and open minded. He _really_ wouldn’t mind.”

“Shiro, that doesn’t change the fact that I am a fucked up person! I’m not cut out to date anyone AND I would only scare Keith off with the fucked up stuff I like when I’m fucking someone!”

Shiro smirked.

“You would be surprised.”

Kuro mounted their hoverbike and started the engine.

“Shiro, no.”

“But-”

“NO!”

Shiro was oddly silent. Knowing his brother, Kuro was almost certain that he hadn’t given up just yet, but at least he was quiet for the rest of the Friday.

Right at the beginning of their relationship, Shiro had explained to Keith that Fridays were his “blowing off steam” days and that he preferred to do that alone. He always made sure to spend Saturdays with him, as a way to compensate. Since Matt would spend his weekends with his family, they had the dorm all to themselves and Shiro would usually take Keith there (either to just hang out together or to make love).

That Saturday night, just as things with Keith started getting hot and heavy, he insisted with Kuro again.

“Maybe you should have sex with Keith,” he suggested Kuro in a calculated nonchalant tone.

Kuro usually was good on detecting when his brother was toying with him. Years and years of watching Shiro Silver-tongue in action gave him a privileged perspective and some immunity to that spell that many people had fallen before (like Iverson and the tutoring program for Keith, for example).

However, that was one of the rare times that Shiro played him like a goddamn fiddle.

“You know fucking what!? I’ll show you why this will never work out! Don’t come crying to me when your boyfriend breaks up with you!”

Shiro smirked.

“The floor is yours.”

Kuro took control of the body during a sloppy kiss with Keith.

His kiss was way more aggressive than his brother’s.

Keith broke the kiss to catch his breath and Kuro nibbled and sucked Keith’s neck and shoulder in a way that would left love marks (something that Shiro never did).

\- Someone’s eager today. – Keith laughed.

He tried to switch their positions, so he would be on top, but Kuro pinned his hand against the mattress.

\- Not today. – Kuro said in a low tone, almost a growl.

Keith’s blue eyes widened in surprise and his pupils dilated.

“See, bro? He is scared only by that. We are not meant to be. I rest my case.”

“Arousal also dilates pupils, Kuro”.

As if to prove Shiro’s point, Keith sighed.

\- Okay… - he seemed pleased and beautiful, laying there pliantly.

 _What the fuck…_? Kuro thought.

Shiro seemed to smirk.

“Keep going,” Shiro said, sitting on the back of their mind. “Just ask if this is what he wants.”

Kuro bit and sucked Keith’s neck near his ear and left another mark. Keith moaned loudly.

\- If anything’s too much. – Kuro said into his ear – Just say the word and I’ll stop.

Keith nodded, closing his eyes in delight.

\- Okay… Please, keep going, I’m liking it.

Kuro stopped for one instant to see what Shiro would say.

Shiro shook a (figurative) hand on their mind space dismissively.

“Go on. I’m not stopping you.”

Kuro grumbled, and then focused on the handsome man beneath him.

He took Keith’s T-shirt off and started to nibble, suck and bite into his chest.

Keith’s hands stayed on Kuro’s shoulders and he squeezed it when he was bitten. He also moaned wantonly.

Kuro stopped his ministrations, picked Keith’s hands and put them beside his head over the pillow.

\- Hands here until I say otherwise. – he growled.

Keith blushed. His blue eyes were still dilated.

\- Yes, sir. – he whispered.

That shouldn’t be arousing for Kuro. He hated the hierarchy and the obligation to call the “superior” officers by “sir” or “ma’am”.

Oh, but that was sexy as fuck when Keith called him that.

Kuro kissed him again, so hard and aggressive that Keith’s lips were bruised when he finished.

Keith had the most beautiful expression of surrender, one that Kuro had never seem on his face before.

Damn…

He was just _gorgeous_ like that.

Keith was already effortlessly handsome and sexy, but looking that docile to Kuro’s ministrations made him look like the one of most beautiful things Kuro had ever seen.

Kuro could barely refrain himself from actually biting and scarring Keith after that. He went back to marking Keith’s chest. Kuro focused on the nipples, sucking and nibbling on one hard with his mouth, while pinching the other between his fingers. His other hand was scratching his nails against Keith’s side.

Keith arched his back, as if to give Kuro even more access, and moaned lewdly. He obediently kept his hands beside his head.

Kuro couldn’t help but to get a little confused with that. Keith was no pushover. He definitely wouldn’t obey an order like that!

Oh, but he was also caught up in the moment and aroused like only few times before.

He sucked and gently bit Keith’s chest and abs until they were both panting and hard. Keith still obeyed the order diligently, and he looked even more docile as Kuro kept touching him like that.

Still set on proving his brother wrong, Kuro actually bit Keith’s shoulder. That would definitely leave a mark that would take days to fade. Kuro expected Keith to furiously complain and push him away.

That was not what happened.

Keith moaned even louder before panting and saying in a desperate and low tone:

\- More…

Well, Kuro was not a man that would back off from a challenge.

He took Keith’s pants and underwear off with some fast and harsh movements. Kuro was still fully dressed while Keith was laying naked on the bed.

Keith had a blissful expression and he was panting softly. He looked at Kuro with those beautiful blue eyes of his and opened his legs in an inviting gesture.

Kuro took the lube and a condom from the nightstand. He uncapped the bottle and lubed up his fingers. He looked at Keith’s face again, searching for any doubt, any fear, anything at all that would signal that Keith didn’t want that.

Keith just moaned in an erotic sigh.

\- Takashi, please…

Kuro _definitely_ had never been that aroused before.

He prepared Keith while still biting him. He abused the marred skin where he had bitten before, making the man beneath him groan loudly. Keith was tight, since it had been awhile since he had been on bottom. Kuro thought he would go crazy just imagining the tight heat once he got inside him.

He pulled out and sat between Keith’s legs, admiring the hot mess he was.

There was a huge hickey on the left side of Keith’s neck that extended until his Adam’s apple. There was another purple hickey on his right collarbone and the bite mark on his right shoulder. There were some soft bite marks on his chest, especially one around the left nipple that Kuro couldn’t help but be proud of. His nipples were red and abused and painfully aroused. Keith was blushing hard from all the teasing and lust. He was panting. His blue eyes were still blown wide. He looked a little spaced out, but still full of want and desire. His hair was tousled around his face and his hands were still beside his head, exactly where Kuro had left them.

Keith himself whined for the loss of contact. He spread his legs a little bit farther, just enough to give Kuro a full view of his hard cock, his balls and the slightly gaping hole. His entrance was glistening a little in the low light with the excess of lube that was leaking when he clenched.

“Do you still think that it is a bad idea to go on a date with him?” Shiro asked with a smug tone at the back of Kuro’s head.

Kuro frowned, set on proving his brother wrong.

He opened and lowered his pants just enough to free his dick. There was a certain sensation of power on still keeping his clothes on. He opened the condom pack, put it over his dick and added some extra lube.

Keith was always smaller than Shiro/Kuro in every way. Although his cock was pleasantly above average, it was still smaller and thinner than Shiro’s/Kuro’s.

\- I’m gonna wreck you and your tiny little ass. – Kuro said with a lopsided smirk, positioning himself over Keith again.

He expected Keith to push him away, not to moan and arch his back again, searching for more contact while still obeying his orders. He seemed to struggle a little bit to find words to say, but when he did, Kuro almost came right on the spot.

\- Please… - Keith begged in a desperate sigh.

Kuro could barely refrain himself from just going all the way with his dick in a single thrust.

Oh, but no matter how deliciously tight and warm that ass was, he didn’t want to harm Keith.

Keith moaned loudly while Kuro was entering him slowly, and he arched his back in pleasure until Kuro was balls deep into him. He laid on the bed, his hands beside his head in tight fists while he was adjusting.

Then he… _relaxed._

His expression was as if he was light-years away in a galaxy of pleasure. His hand relaxed and his face melted into a shameless and unabashed expression of what could only be described as pure _Bliss_.

He looked deep into Kuro’s brown eyes as if he was the center of the universe and he smiled submissively, bowing to Kuro’s every wish and whim.

Everything seemed to fade away.

There was no more authorities, no more rules, no more responsibilities, no more doubts.

The whole world, the whole creation, all was summed up on the two of them.

Not even Shiro seemed to be part of their reality anymore (even with him watching the entire act).

Kuro leaned over to capture Keith’s lips in a kiss that seemed to be more of a bite then a proper kiss.

He thrusted into Keith hard. Keith closed his eyes and cried loudly from pleasure.

Kuro kept up the strong pace for some moments, basking in Keith’s cries and moans until Keith opened his eyes again.

His eyes were still unfocused and still trusting everything to Kuro.

Kuro couldn’t help himself.

His hands came to Keith’s beautiful bruised neck. He grabbed around it. He kept his strong thrusting pace while he squeezed Keith’s neck.

Keith made a startled sound and then only ragged breaths. His blue eyes were wide.

Better than any fantasy Kuro had EVER had.

However, this time Keith took his hands off the pillow. He put them over Kuro’s hands on his neck and he sucked in enough air to say a ragged word in a hoarse tone.

\- Wait!

Kuro stopped immediately.

He let go of his grip on Keith’s neck with wide and worried eyes.

Keith coughed and tried to catch his breath.

Fuck!

FUCK!

He had fucked up, hadn’t he? He had hurt and abused Keith and now he was going to be pushed off.

FUCK!

No, worse than that: “Shiro” was going be pushed off. Not only Kuro had abused Keith but he also had screwed up his brother’s whole relationship.

**FUCK!**

**FUUUUUCK!**

Kuro was ready to pull off from inside Keith and give him as much distance as possible, when Keith’s right hand grabbed his waist and the left touched Kuro’s hand.

\- Wait… Wait… - Keith begged.

Kuro stared at him in apprehension while he closed his eyes and caught his breath.

Keith frowned a little bit, as if he was making a huge mental effort to find the words in his head.

\- You’re doin’ wrong.

His voice was a little hoarse and slurred, as if it was hard for him to pronounce the phrase.

Oh, but his message was very clear.

Kuro was thunderstruck.

\- What? – he asked dumbfounded.

What the fuck was going on?

Keith opened his mouth a few times, as if fighting to find the words inside his own head again. He grumbled and picked Kuro’s hands and put them around his own neck again. His hands were gentle over Kuro’s.

\- Don’ press ‘ere much. – he pointed out to the centre of his throat where Kuro’s thumbs were – Press ‘ere.

He put some pressure over Kuro’s fingers, the part of his hands that were on the sides of Keith’s neck, feeling his strong and rapid pulse.

Kuro was still speechless.

Keith whined.

\- Please…

Kuro would be lying if he didn’t said that the sound of that single word coming from those beautiful bruised lips didn’t made him feel even harder.

His reaction was almost immediate. He gripped Keith’s neck again, this time alleviating the pressure over the centre as instructed.

Keith moaned before some of his air supply was interrupted again.

He smiled.

Kuro lost it completely.

If his thrust were hard before, now they were brutal.

And Keith _still_ kept up with it.

Kuro took his hands out of Keith’s neck so he could pull him into a sitting position. He was now sitting on Kuro’s lap and impaled on the hard cock.

Keith barely had time to cry in pleasure for Kuro used one hand to squeeze his neck again while the other grabbed his waist and forced a savage pace to their fucking, thrusting deeper into Keith. He adjusted his legs and grabbed onto Kuro’s shoulders to give some support so he could diligently follow that mad pace. His eyes were watering, but he still looked at Kuro as if he was the only thing in the whole universe worth watching.

He came first, covering Kuro’s T-shirt with jizz.

Kuro kept up the pace, still squeezing Keith’s neck until he hit the strongest orgasm he ever remembered having. Like the most intense solar explosion ever seen. A supernova, a neutron-star collision.

It took him longer than usual to come back from his high.

It was intense.

As soon as Kuro came back again, however, he realized that Keith was holding him and crying on his shoulder.

FUCK!

“Shiro! Shiro! Help!”

Shiro, still only on the passenger seat, smirked smugly.

“Nope.”

“Shiro!”

Shiro grinned.

“Sorry, Kuro, but you broke, you buy it.”

Kuro pulled his dick out of Keith with a wet sound. He held him gently with urgency.

\- Fuck! Keith, I’m-

Before he could complete the apologize phrase, Keith detached himself just enough to kiss the corner of Kuro’s mouth earnestly.

Kuro was, again, completely thunderstruck.

He was agape, staring at Keith.

Keith sniffed and distanced himself just enough to look at Kuro’s eyes. Although he was crying, the way he looked at the other man could only be described as pure adoration. He was vulnerable and putting himself completely, body and soul on Kuro’s hands.

It took Kuro’s breath away.

Now _that_ was the most **beautiful** thing Kuro had ever seen.

He couldn’t even describe to himself the beauty of that surrender and openness on Keith handsome features and alluring blue eyes.

Keith frowned and tried to articulate something, but as before, the words seemed to escape him, no matter what he did.

Somehow, Kuro understood:

He wanted to thank him.

A strong sense of protectiveness took Kuro by surprise and he didn’t bothered to control it. Since he had absolutely no experience of what to do on those situations (since he usually wouldn’t get that far in his one-night stands), he acted on his instincts.

\- Shhhh… - he said gently, pushing Keith’s bangs out of his forehead and kissing it gently – It’s ok, babycheeks, it’s ok…

He rocked back and forth gently while holding Keith and massaging his back.

\- You were great, sweetheart. The best of the best, darling.

Kuro kept praising Keith gently until he had stopped crying and was breathing evenly again.

With a foreign newfound tenderness, he kissed Keith’s forehead again and laid him on the bed.

Keith closed his eyes and moved his legs slowly, stretching them after the tiring exercise. He sighed, pleased.

Kuro took off the spent condom, tied the open end and threw it into the trash bin. He took off the dirty T-shirt and used one of Shiro’s wet wipes to clean off Keith’s abdomen. Keith looked at him with a grateful and tired expression.

Kuro stared at him.

Now what?

It was already late and he felt tired.

Maybe he should use Matt’s bed that night (since he wouldn’t come back until Sunday night) and let Keith have the bed all to himself.

However, Keith grabbed his arm in a feeble grip. He looked at Kuro with pleading eyes.

\- Stay?

Kuro REALLY should work on his ability to say “no” to those pleading stares.

He sighed and pulled off his pants. He laid in his underwear beside Keith stiffly, without know what to do at all.

Keith curled on him with a tired, but content smile.

Kuro melted and hugged him too, holding the smaller man tenderly.

\- G’ night… - Keith said, hoarse and slurred, right before closing his eyes.

Within a few minutes he was relaxed and sleeping peacefully. As if he hadn’t just been choked while he was brutally fucked.

\- What the fuck just happened? – Kuro asked in a quiet tone, confused, while pulling the covers over their bodies.

“You’re welcome!” Shiro chirped smugly. “Now turn off the lights. I wanna sleep.”

Kuro did as he was told, still too confused to protest.

It took Kuro a long time that night to fall asleep.

He kept asking himself repeatedly what the fuck had just happened. None of his answers seemed to make sense.

He was still in control of the body when he woke up with Keith kissing his face.

\- Hey…

His voice still seemed a little hoarse, but it didn’t seem slurred anymore. He was tracing Kuro’s face gently, as if admiring his features.

Kuro blinked, fully alert and already confused again.

Shiro, the motherfucker, was still sleeping peacefully at the back of their mind, so Kuro was alone to deal with Keith.

Maybe he should apologize?

Kuro really didn’t know what to do.

\- Hi. Look… About last night…

Keith kissed his lips fondly.

\- Yeah… We should do that again.

Keith was smiling and Kuro was speechless once again.

Keith blinked, confused.

\- Takashi, are you ok?

Kuro was about to panic and run to the hills in his underwear when Shiro groaned in their mind and gently took the wheel.

It was a great relief to Kuro to sit shotgun again.

Shiro bit his lips.

\- I… I don’t know… I mean, yesterday was great but I just… I just…

He sighed in a charming and sheepish way.

\- I’m sorry, I’ve never done that before…

Keith kissed him.

\- You mean the choking? Yeah, I kinda noticed. But don’t worry, you were amazing. Holy shit, that was probably one of the best fucks I’ve ever had.

Even with that reassurance, Kuro was still restless.

Shiro bit his lips again.

\- Even with the… you know…

Keith quirked one eyebrow, amused.

\- The choking? It won’t hurt you to say the name, you know?

There were hand marks on his neck.

Kuro’s hand marks.

Yet, Keith smirked like a pleased and mischievous cat.

\- Besides, that was the best part!

Ok, that was it! Kuro gave up trying to understand what the fuck was going on. He was in a _Twilight Zone_ episode, he get it!

Shiro chuckled knowingly on their shared mindspace.

Kuro growled, “Fuck you, Shiro.”

Shiro only laughed more in their mind.

In control of their body, Shiro looked away.

\- I… I… - he sighed – I need some time. To think.

Keith looked rejected.

\- Was something that I did…?

\- No, baby. – he kissed Keith earnestly – You were perfect!

He looked away again.

\- I just… just… - he sighed one more time – I’ve just never done this with… None of this… Ever...

Shiro bit his lips once again and made some vague gestures.

Of course, all of this was an act.

Kuro could feel the smugness radiating from his brother like heat waves. Since Keith didn’t know that he wasn’t talking with the same person that fucked him last night, the performance was necessary.

Keith blinked with surprise and blushed.

\- Really? I… wow… - he smiled with tenderness – You could have fooled me. You looked so at ease in charge!

Shiro still bit his lip.

\- I… Yeah… It was easy to do that… And I just… need some time.

\- Ah… ok…

Shiro pulled Keith into a fierce kiss before smiling at him.

\- See you at dinner?

Keith beamed.

\- You bet!

Shiro frowned.

\- But if you need help recovering you can call me sooner than that, ok?

Keith laughed.

\- Don’t worry. I’m a big boy, I can handle some tough love. – he sat and grimaced – Now you have to excuse me because I have to sit on an ice pack.

Kuro watched him put on his clothes.

The higher part of the hickey and some of the finger marks on his neck were still showing up, even with the Garrison’s high collar uniform.

Kuro was mortified with that.

Shiro seemed to notice his distress. He pretended to be abashed.

\- I’m sorry… for… those… - he gesture to Keith’s neck.

Keith seemed confused first, then he moved his hand to touch his neck. He must have felt some pain for he hissed. Then he chuckled.

\- Don’t sweat it. It is fine. I think I have a shirt with a higher collar to use beneath the uniform to cover it.

Shiro sighed in relief.

Keith kissed him.

\- See you tonight.

\- See ya… and I meant it, Keith. If you feel that you need me, just give me a call and I’ll run to you immediately.

Keith smiled.

\- Ok… Thanks, Takashi.

He left the room still smiling. He was limping a bit.

As soon as he left, Shiro gave a huge shit-eating grin.

“Soooo… Still having doubts about dating Keith?”

Kuro was in a confused silence for a while.

\- What the fuck just happened? – he asked aloud again.

Shiro laughed.

“Oh, brother…” he said fondly, “It’s ok. You two enjoyed a lot.”

“I _choked_ him, Shiro! He wasn’t supposed to enjoy it and I wasn’t supposed to enjoy doing that!”

“It’s OK, Kuro. Some people like those kinds of stuff.”

“How can anybody other than me like that?”

Shiro grinned again.

“Why don’t you take a nice shower, eat some breakfast and then I’ll show that to you?”

Kuro grumbled grumpily, but complied, taking a quick shower, grabbing a sandwich on the cafeteria and eating fast. He was back to their dorm, for some privacy when he crossed his arms.

“Ok, now explain.”

Shiro smirked.

“I have a deep research on the subject that might help you! It is on the computer.”

Kuro complied once again, sitting on their bed with the laptop on his lap.

Shiro guided him to his “porn” internet folder.

Kuro always teased Shiro for having a “porn” folder. What was he, a horny 13 years old? Who the fuck had a “porn” folder!?

Kuro hadn’t actually ever opened it. The brothers had learned to respect each other’s private time. Sometimes they shared a few fantasies, but overall, they had learned to share their time for sexual activities.

Inside the folder, there were another division in two new folders.

One was named “My porn” and Kuro rolled his eyes at that.

The other was labelled “Kuro”.

“Go ahead,” Shiro smirked.

Inside that folder there were many folders in a classification system. Some of them had names that Kuro could understand (“spanking” for example) while others seemed to have some weird names.

Shiro labelled the top folder with the name “START OVER HERE!!!”.

The first page on that folder was the Wikipedia article about BDSM.

As soon as Kuro opened the article, there was a picture of a woman with a black leather collar and a chain illustrating it.

Kuro held his breath.

What the hell…?

He started reading the article immediately.

Kuro never thought that a Wikipedia article of all things would be so eye opening.

There was a _name_ for what he liked in sex?!

He read the entire page and many related articles, opening a dozen of tabs.

Fuck! He needed to take notes on that!

“Bottom drawer of the nightstand. I left you a pen.” Shiro said lazily.

Kuro blinked, confused, and opened said drawer.

There was a blank black leather fancy notebook there with a pen. He remember Shiro buying that notebook a few weeks ago. He remembered because he thought that it was an odd choice for his brother, who usually liked notebooks with nerd-ish covers, like Star Wars or Harry Potter.

Kuro frowned.

“Have you planned this, Silver-tongue?”

Shiro grinned again while adjusting himself at the back of their mind of a “nap”.

“You’re welcome! Now, go! Be great!”

Kuro was reading things and devouring the new knowledge eagerly.

As soon as he ran out of Wikipedia articles, he looked into the other sites on the starter folder. They were mostly blogs about BDSM by the dominants and submissive themselves.

It was a whole new world for Kuro, a word in which he finally felt at ease.

He was not just a fuck up! There was a whole _community_ of people like him!

He was normal!

Ok, maybe he was still unusual, but not the monster he thought he was.

The last item on the starter folder was a note from Shiro.

_These are the general stuff. You can make some research of your own now.  
_ _The other folders are just kinks that I found when I was looking for porn. I think some of them might interest you.  
_ _I haven’t seen most of the videos (it just isn’t exactly my thing), but it might be useful for you to start discovering your own kinks.  
_ _Have fun!  
_ _Shiro_

Now many names of the folders made sense to Kuro.

He immersed himself on those new things, furiously taking notes of things he liked.

Some things, for example general bondage and shibari, interested Kuro almost immediately and he watched every single video Shiro had found him and read every single blog he had found.

Others, for example watersports, he couldn’t bring himself to delete at first, until he realised that damn… he _was into that_!

The last type of things were the stuff that he didn’t like at all and maybe even triggered him a little, like rape roleplay for example. Kuro would just delete without a second thought or even looking at it.

He spent the whole day with that. If wasn’t for Shiro’s interruption for food, he wouldn’t have barely moved from their bed.

Usually, when Kuro masturbated with the Internet helpful input, he would just pick up some random videos with gay men in Pornhub that he probably didn’t even like, end that fast and move on with his life. It was hardly interesting for him.

Now?

Now, in-between taking notes, Kuro ended up doing a masturbation marathon with the most fascinating content he had ever seen about sex.

Kuro was really thankful that Matt wasn’t there yet. He was in a _very_ embarrassing situation.

At 18:30, Shiro nudged Kuro once again.

“Come on. We have to meet Keith for dinner.”

Kuro blushed.

“Hum… will you talk with him about… about this?”

Shiro rolled his eyes good-humoured.

“Nope! If you want Keith to be your sub, you’re going to do the talking.”

Kuro felt his face becoming hotter.

“Also,” Shiro added, “if the two of you enter a Dom and Sub relationship, you will have to take him in a few dates. I mean, I don’t mind sharing, but we are going to do this right.”

“How the fuck could sharing a person be right?”

“Well, duh, by being as honest as possible! Since you don’t want to tell him about we being two, the least we can do is to take him on dates separately.”

Kuro sighed.

“Shiro, liking to fuck someone in a kinky way is different than taking than on ‘cute-cute’ dates and other sweet bullshit like that.”

“Take him to race in the desert then. Or to search the automobile galleries. Or to a metal concert. Seriously, Kuro, be creative. I gave you a freaking list of things you have in common with him.”

Kuro got dressed, still deep in his thoughts.

“One last question: how the fuck did you know that he was into… _that_ …?”

“Saying the acronym is not going to hurt you.”

“Urgh, fiiiiiine! How did you know that Keith is into BDSM?”

Shiro chuckled.

“For someone who’s capable of reading people like open books, I sometimes get surprised by how much you refuse to see.”

“Save me from the sermon, Buddha.”

“All right, all right. Well, I was kinda curious as to why Keith hadn’t brought up wanting to be bottom yet. I mean, all my previous boyfriends had asked after a while. So I started to watch more carefully and to ask the right questions. He admitted that to me that he likes to be dominated when he is bottoming without even noticing that he was answering that question. I guess he’s just more careful with the people he allows to dominate him. Then I thought ‘Hey, Kuro is into topping _and_ BDSM, even if he doesn’t know this yet’ so I just give you two a push.”

He smirked.

“I’m not exactly into that, but damn… that was sexy.”

Kuro looked at his hands.

“This… this whole deal is about trust…”

“Yeah, pretty much”.

“But I don’t have it, Shiro. I don’t have Keith’s trust. You do.”

“Well, yeah, that is the only flaw in my bullet proof plan. And that was why I suggested you to take him on dates first. Since you are stubborn and pig-headed, you only took the bait after a very hard push.”

Kuro was in silence for some minutes, still trying to paint a clearer picture in his head about what the hell was going on.

“Do you… do you really think it is really a good idea?”

Shiro grinned.

“I’m positive! Talk to him!”

“What if I screw things up?”

“Hum… I hardly think this can happen. Just be honest with him. In the worst-case scenario, I’m ready to step up and fix the situation at any moment.”

Kuro nodded.

“Okay… Thanks, Shiro.”

“You’re welcome! Now, go already!”

Kuro felt really nervous when he got into the cafeteria for dinner.

Keith was already there and he waved to him with a big smile.

Kuro gulped.

Show time.

\- Hey, baby.

He kissed Keith’s lips in a greeting before sitting in front of him. He was pretending to be his brother.

\- Are you feeling better? – Keith asked holding his hand over the table.

\- I think I should be the one asking that.

Keith shrugged nonchalantly.  

\- I’m ok. It wasn’t my first rodeo.

\- You… you have done that before?

Keith looked at their linked hands.

\- Yeah… I tried that twice. It didn’t worked out.

\- Can… Can I ask when and why?

He shrugged again and sighed.

\- The first time I was just fifteen – he smiled with embarrassment – and I was a little shit. I faked an ID to get into a BDSM club. It wasn’t a private event, so security was pretty lax. Luckily, the man that took me was decent, or I could have ended up in a terrible place. He broke up with me when he found out that I was a minor, but he gave me some advice about stuff that helped me in the long run.

\- And the second one?

Keith grimaced.

\- I’m not proud of what I did the second time I tried. I was 17, and I was in a vanilla relationship at the time, but things kinda… burned out. I don’t really know why we were still together. – he sighed – Then I met a dominant of 20 years old and I started cheating on my boyfriend with him. In the end, I was alone, since I broke both of their trusts…

He smiled and squeezed Kuro’s hand in a reassuring gesture.

\- Don’t worry, I won’t do that anymore. Learnt my lesson the hard way. Besides, - he looked at his eyes with wonder – I’ve never had a boyfriend that could do both with me.

Kuro blinked.

\- Hum... Both?

Keith nodded.

\- Yeah, the vanilla and the kinky.

Kuro looked away.

\- I… I don’t think I’d be a good dominant. I didn’t even know that… - he sighed – I didn’t even know that that kind of sex had a name or a full community until today!

Keith’s eyes were wide.

\- Wow… If you’re like that without any proper experience, then you’ll be a hell of a dominant after a few rounds.

Kuro couldn’t help but blush.

\- What you did use to do before about it? – Keith asked with curiosity.

\- I… I usually picked up one-night stands occasionally when I was single. I didn’t do much, just played rough.

\- And how did you find out about BDSM today?

\- A… _friend_ helped me with it.

He could feel Shiro raising a metaphorical eyebrow and smirking from the passenger seat.

Keith smiled.

\- I’m glad he did. – he blushed sheepishly – Because I _really_ want to do that again.

\- Are you sure? I promise to try my best, but I’m still clueless about many things.

Keith shrugged with a happy smile.

\- Everybody has to start somewhere. Besides, it is rather cute to be your first for this.

He seemed really pleased with all that, really relaxed and at ease.

Kuro sighed.

\- Keith… If we are going to do this, I have to be entirely honest with you. There is… There is a side of me that I usually don’t show people and I don’t think you know yet. The part that includes the… the BDSM sex amongst other things…

He stared deeply into Keith’s alluring blue eyes.

\- If we are going to have this then you should know all these different parts and I’m not sure if you’ll like what you see.

Keith grinned and took Kuro’s hand between his.

\- You underestimate my power. – he joked before kissing Kuro’s hand – Bring it, dom.

A shiver of excitement ran down Kuro’s spine.

He smirked lopsidedly.

\- You shouldn’t have said that, kitten.

Keith grinned and his eyes shone brightly.

They ended up fucking again, this time in a broom closet (since both their roommates were already there). Kuro shamelessly spanked Keith’s ass and made him count the slaps. Keith’s speech would get a little slurred when he was overstimulated, so Kuro was more prepared to deal with it this time.

They sat together on the floor, coming back from their high. Keith had cried again, but now they both knew how to proceed.

This time, Kuro felt relaxed and recharged.

He smiled.

“Dominant”.

He could get used to that…

 


	4. Pilot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **ATTENTION:  
>  a non-professional view of how therapy for DID (dissociative identity disorder) is.**
> 
> English is not my first language. This story if partially betaed, and there is just one peculiarity before you start reading:  
> \- [Text after dashes] = TALKING (A Romance Language custom)  
> "[Text between quotation marks]" = THE CONVERSATIONS INSIDE SHIRO AND KURO'S HEAD
> 
> Now, to the story!

Kuro couldn’t ever remember being in such a blissful state before, especially not with a boy.

It turned out, many items on Shiro’s list of interest were absolutely correct and were actually really good date ideas to do with Keith. Kuro felt a little awkward the first few times. However, their dates were fun and, as always, Keith was spontaneous and honest, taking away the need for Kuro to keep guessing what he was thinking, and just being able to enjoy himself.

In the beginning of their dating, Keith had raised an eyebrow and asked:

\- I could never imagine you of all people doing it.

Kuro shrugged and smiled lopsidedly.

\- I’m a versatile man, short stuff.

Keith stared at him with suspicion before shrugging and smiling too, holding hands with Kuro.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t had other friends before. He had had his mates during his informal fights back in High School, and he had his friends from the bars he went to now (who were surprisingly supportive of his relationship. Kuro guessed that they already knew that he was gay, so that wouldn’t be a problem at all). Also, there were Matt and Katie Holt, two of the very few people that both the twins befriended.

However, it was still nice for Kuro to meet someone “new” who shared many of his interests and who could keep up with him.

And, of course, there was the **Sex**.

The kind of deeply-satisfying and pleasurable sex that Kuro never thought he would have before.

Now?

Right now Keith had his hands tied up behind his back with his own belt (an article that Kuro _really_ liked using), he had a gag in his mouth and his ass was a beautiful cherry-red. He was laying on his back on top of  his hands, and that couldn’t be comfortable in any form. Yet, he spread his legs further at Kuro’s command.

Kuro couldn’t help but grin.

\- Good kitten.

Keith took _great_ pleasure from that. It was evident on his face (he **does** have a praise kink).

The abandoned shack had become their private playground on most weekends. (Not that they didn’t had little scenes during the weekdays and/or at the Garrison. They just needed to be _very_ _careful_ about them).

Kuro took off the gag. He liked to keep that on, even if Keith was barely able to speak by now, but in that position, the gag could be dangerous. He picked up the riding crop again, just using it to tease Keith’s chest and belly.

\- What colour, kitten?

Of course, it wasn’t that simple from the beginning. Kuro was still learning about BDSM and his own limits. Even knowing that being a sadist (with consent, obviously) wasn’t a bad thing, he had years of thinking of himself as a fuck-up to undo. Although Keith would get frustrated sometimes with his slow pace and excessive precautions, he was patient with his development.

(- Patience yields focus, right? – Keith had asked with a small smirk that both Kuro and Shiro wanted to kiss away.)

Neither of them liked consensual non-consensual plays (and oddly enough they were very vehement about it), so they would have used the simple word “no” or “stop” if they could. However, Keith would have difficulties to articulate long sentences and needed an easy way to express himself. It helped both of them to establish a color code for their plays.

Keith panted for a few moments before staring at Kuro earnestly.

\- Green, sir.

Green was for them to continue. Keith was OK.

Yellow was for them to go slower. Keith was a little overwhelmed, but he could continue.

Orange was for them to temporary stop. Keith was overwhelmed and needed a break, but he still wanted to continue.

Red was for them to stop. Period. Something had gone wrong.

Kuro smirked and teased Keith’s right nipple with the riding crop. Keith moaned.

\- Good kitten.

(He would have praised Keith anyway. It was great to see him melt even more.)

He hit Keith’s chest near his shoulder with the crop, then his abs (not full blows, just enough to sting). Keith yelped and panted.

What a beautiful sign he was in complete surrender like that, tied up and dishevelled, his cheeks rosy and his ass red, panting and legs spread. His cock was hard between his legs (Kuro had put a cock ring on it just for the sake of being a dick, pun not intended). There were a few hickeys and light bite marks on the inside of Keith’s thighs, and he probably would be feeling that for days (another thing Kuro loved to do, leave marks for Keith to feel later). His twitching hole was already loose and glistening with lube. Keith wore a collar in red leather with his own steel dog tags on it.

 _Beautiful_.

Kuro teased the area between Keith’s balls and his asshole with the crop, and then slapped that area gently. Keith yelped once more and moaned pitifully.

\- Please, sir. – he said in a slurred voice, with a mix of a sob and a moan.

Kuro look at his face just to make sure Keith was really enjoying it. He obviously was, and moaned when his dom teased him with the riding crop again.

\- You are so beautiful, all lecherous and spread just for me. – he whipped Keith’s thigh.

Keith yelped and moaned once more.

Kuro smirked, leaving the crop aside and lubing up his fingers again (safety first, as always). Then he just thrusted two fingers inside Keith. There was a little resistance, but the tight heat inside was still divine.

Keith moaned wantonly and arched his back, closing his eyes and exposing himself more to Kuro.

\- Hum… how should I fuck you today, huh? Should I just take you like that, on your back or should I make you sit on me and do all the work?

Keith only moaned while Kuro abused his prostate, still with closed eyes. He seemed to be lost in a personal world within himself.

\- Hum… - Kuro smirked – I think I have a better idea.

He took his fingers out of his partner. Keith whined at the loss of the stimulus. Kuro turned Keith around, making him lay on his stomach. Then he pulled him into a kneeling position on the bed.

\- Stay here.

Keith whined again, but complied.

Kuro rolled a condom over his cock before grabbing Keith from behind.

\- Kitten, what colour? – he asked, holding himself back from thrusting.

Keith blinked. His mind took a few moments to understand the question through the subspace haze.

\- Gree’.

Kuro teased his entrance with his cock.

\- “Green” _what_ , Kitten?

Keith moaned desperately.

\- Green, sir.

Kuro thrusted in, all at once. Preparation had been a little tedious, but it was great to be able to just thrust into Keith without holding back. Keith screamed in pleasure. It was very amusing to Kuro to be able to make him do that during intense scenes.

He didn’t wait to build up a brutal pace while jerking Keith’s dick (still wearing the cock ring) and pinching a nipple hard.

While keeping up his mad thrusting rhythm, he grabbed Keith’s neck and squeezed, while still fucking into him and jerking him off. Kuro just couldn’t help himself: Keith’s neck was just beautiful and _begging_ to be choked. It was no help at all that Keith would bruise like a peach, and Kuro really _loved_ to see his marks on Keith’s neck.

When he felt close to orgasm, Kuro pressed the release button on the cock ring and released his hold on Keith’s neck.

Keith came with a hoarse cry and Kuro followed right behind him.

They fell onto the bed. Kuro had the common sense of getting his cock out of Keith and rolling aside so he wouldn’t crush him.

He lay there, catching his breath and coming down from his high. He still had one hand on Keith’s back, and it was grounding to feel him catching his own breath.

This time, Kuro was the first one to recover. He untied Keith, and gently turned him on the bed in order to clean him with the supplies he had prepared beforehand.

As always after a rough scene, after the adrenaline and ecstasy high, Keith started to cry. Kuro cuddled him, massaging his back with soothing movements.

\- That’s ok, babycheeks. I’ve got you. You were great as always, sweetheart…

Keith pawed at him clumsily, as if trying to hold Kuro but didn’t have the motor coordination to do so. He was a mumbling hot mess in Kuro’s arms, and Kuro wouldn’t have it any other way.

After Keith stopped crying, Kuro gently verified that there wasn’t any injury that they should worry about. All was fine, Keith could move his fingers fine now, and he drank the water Kuro offered. Then Keith curled into a comfy ball to sleep. He mumbled grumpily when Kuro rubbed the soothing salve into his ass (and other red and abused parts), but he complied with the gentle commands.

Kuro chuckled, amused, took the collar off Keith’s neck and pulled the cover over them. Keith rearranged himself, still curled up, to fit in Kuro’s arms.

Kuro smiled fondly, closer to falling asleep.

He loved how things were right now.

Maybe that was what love feels like.

 

* * *

 

Shiro watched.

He watched Kuro take Keith on exciting dates, things that would always keep them feeling alive and high on adrenaline.

He watched the way Keith’s blue eyes would light up during sex with Kuro, as if Kuro was the one who personally put all the stars in the sky.

They were falling in love with each other.

Shiro watched.  

It was beautiful, yes. He wanted all the best for his brother and for the man Shiro loved.

It was an equivalent exchange, Shiro guessed:

Kuro let him have the career he wanted.

Shiro would let him have the man they both loved.

After all, why would Keith ever want to stay with the boring, plain and ordinary Shiro when he can have Kuro?

Shiro understood what his role was in his relationship with his brother. He understood that he was only the “helper” and his job was to give Kuro all the possibilities to his brother to achieve greatness and happiness. He was merely a facilitator.

Thus, Shiro watched.

He watched they get closer and closer.

He watched they slowly develop their own deep trust and commitment.

He helped his brother to get Keith.

Shiro could see in Keith’s eyes that he was satisfied in every way and on cloud nine with that relationship.

Shiro knew that Kuro was just the same.

That should be enough to make Shiro happy.

He should be grateful that the two people he loved the most were happy.

He wanted to be the good person and feel happy with the situation.

It just…

It still felt unfair…

 

* * *

 

\- Graduation is closer and I still don’t know… - Shiro complained to their therapist one afternoon – I mean, I think I’d like to continue to be here. I’m used to the life at Garrison, even if it is difficult sometimes. But maybe working for a company could be good? I really don’t know yet…

The therapist nodded.

\- And what about you Kuro? Are you worried about graduation?

Usually Kuro would ignore them, or just answer shortly and without details. However, there was one thing that maybe he should talk about, to try to figure it out.

\- I really don’t care about what to do after graduation. There are loads of job offers and I’d pick the one with the bigger salary.

He could feel Shiro rolling his eyes. The therapist seemed like they wanted to sigh in frustration.

Kuro continued.

\- But…

Both Shiro and the therapist seemed to become more interested immediately.

Kuro sighed, trying not to roll his eyes at their reactions.

\- But I’m worried about Keith.

He could see in the therapist’s body language that it took them great effort not to openly show eagerness and interest in their conversation.

\- Oh? How so?

Kuro looked away and stayed silent.

How could Shiro make that therapy bullshit seems so easy? Talking about stuff was hard!

\- Kuro, would you like to lay down on the couch?

He looked back at the therapist, who still was concealing their excitement, with a raised eyebrow.

\- Why would I want to do that?

\- Well, sometimes, not having eye contact may help, and Shiro mentioned sometimes how you analyze people’s body language and facial expressions non-stop. So, the couch seems appropriate.

Kuro hesitated.

\- If you don’t like it, you can go back to the chair. – the therapist offered.

Kuro nodded.

\- Ok.

He laid on the couch and looked at the ceiling.

\- Now, – the therapist said – talk about anything you want.

\- I feel kinda stupid doing that while looking at the ceiling.

\- Give it a try.

\- Urg, fiiiiine.

\- Now, you were talking about Keith.

\- Yeah…

\- What about Keith?

\- I… I mean… What will happen with us after graduation?

It was like a dam broke: Kuro just talked and talked through the whole session.

It was hard and sometimes uncomfortable, but it wasn’t so bad.

Shiro was quiet, though. It seemed quite weird.

Maybe he should keep an eye on his brother to see if there was something bothering him, that he could help with.

He needed to protect Shiro from the things that could hurt him in any way.

 

* * *

 

Since the beginning of their relationship, Keith knew that Takashi needed his free Fridays to cool down, blow off some steam. Even if he was curious about what his lover would do on those nights (especially when he came back with new bruises), he respected that limit. He knew people needed their own personal time.

That was why he was _baffled_ when Shiro asked him to go with him one Friday afternoon.

\- Are you sure, Shiro? – he asked looking at the red hoverbike with the helmet in his hand and apprehension on his mind.

Shiro gave him his lopsided grin.

\- Yeah, babycheeks. Come on, it’ll be fun.

Today, Shiro was wearing black jeans, black combat boots, a white T-shirt, black leather fingerless gloves, a black leather jacket and his dogtags.

It was peculiar how, ever since Shiro decided to share his wilder side with Keith, he would “dress for the occasion”.

During their calmer and gentler dates, Shiro would wear comfortable clothes in lighter colours. Faded old jeans, sneakers, T-shirts (usually with some funny or nerdy picture), hoodies. If he wanted to look “fancy”, he would wear a shirt and an old bomber jacket.

On the other hand, in their wilder and rougher moments, Shiro would seem to favor more of a bad boy style in darker colours. His jeans were darker and his T-shirts would be plain, in somber colours (black, white, dark blue or dark red). He liked well-fitting leather jackets and his combat boots.

It would be unfair how he could still look sexy as fuck in both styles if it wasn’t for the fact that Keith was dating him.

Keith never had a preference anyway.

He liked the dorky side of Shiro and he liked the troublemaker side of him. He would have fallen for either of those, so it was really exciting to be able to have both.

So, today, by the clothes he was wearing, Keith knew he was in for a wild ride.

\- Come on, short stuff. – Shiro winked, still smiling that charmingly crooked smile of his – I want you to come with me.

\- If you’re sure… - Keith said, putting the helmet over his head.

They drove in the opposite direction of where they usually went, to a city farther than usual.

The neighborhood they stopped by didn’t seem to be “family friendly”.

\- So that’s why you asked me to bring my dagger. – Keith commented, looking at the bar where they stopped. There were lots of bikes and other hoverbikes parked there.

Shiro shrugged and smiled, lopsided.

\- Better safe than sorry. – he kissed Keith – I would be devastated if something happened to that pretty face of yours, dollface.

Keith smiled too.

\- All right. Lead the way.

However, Shiro frowned.

\- Before we enter… there’s something I need to tell you.

\- Huh? What is it, Takashi?

\- Well… you see… - he scratched the back of his head – I have a reputation at the Garrison as the Golden Boy, their pride and joy and all that bullshit, right?

\- Yeah…?

\- So here I had to hide that. I… I couldn’t be… _Shiro_ here.

Keith blinked, confused.

\- So you use another name?

\- I… yeah…

He kissed Shiro’s mouth sweetly.

\- What should I call you then?

Shiro smiled lopsidedly.

\- Kuro.

Keith raised one eyebrow.

\- What does it mean?

Shiro blushed.

\- It means “Black”.

\- And you’ve said that “Shiro” means white?

\- I never said I’m creative.

Their faces were close and they were staring into each other’s eyes with wonder and hot affection.

\- Should I pick a codename for myself too, sir?

\- Don’t be cocky, kitten. – Shiro smirked crookedly and kissed Keith sloppily.

\- Oh, I wouldn’t even dream about it, sir. – Keith chuckled before adding – I’ll be “Akira” then, to match “Kuro”.

Shiro blinked, and then he looked sad for a moment.

\- It’s a good choice. – he said in a melancholic tone and with a sad smile – It means “Bright”.

He kissed Keith sweetly. It was a weird sensation right after the last sloppy kiss, almost as if Keith was kissing another person.

Shiro broke the kiss and stayed, their foreheads touching.

\- Just like how you put the shine in the night sky. – he said poetically. He still seemed sad.

\- Why are you so gloomy, Kuro? – Keith asked gently.

For one moment, Shiro seemed surprised. Then he gave Keith a lopsided grin and the sadness seemed to have passed, just like a cloud flying away from the full moon.

\- Are you trying to get used to the name, Akira?

Keith smiled too.

\- Yeah… I would hate to blow your cover, sir.

\- Good kitten. – Shiro said, kissing his brow.

\- Why all that sadness, though?

\- Oh, it’s nothing to worry about. You know me, I’m your big resident sap.

He laughed it off, so Keith just shrugged. It was probably nothing if Shiro was OK again.

“Kuro” was right about using a codename.

He was _completely_ deviant from the Golden Boy image he had at the Garrison.

“Kuro” smoked and shared the taste of nicotine in his kiss. It tasted bitter and bohemian.

The bartender recognized “Kuro” and offered “the usual” (a pure dose of cheap and strong bourbon). “Kuro” refused in favor of having Keith sitting on his lap. Keith blushed, but smiled brightly. If his master wasn’t drinking then he probably had something prepared. Maybe he would fuck him on the hoverbike on the way back (Keith would love it).

“Kuro” introduced him to his Friday friends: bikers and some gang members. Oddly enough, the eight of them were quite OK with Kuro bringing his boyfriend. They complained when Keith beat them in pool, but overall, they were friendly with him.

It was fun, but soon enough it became clear that “Kuro” and his friends were just killing time.

The main event of the night happened in an abandoned warehouse that was being used as an underground fighting ring.

Keith was not unfamiliar with underground circuits. He had competed many times in underground street races even before it was legal for him to drive anything motorized. It was just surprising to see Shiro doing the same thing, just with street fighting.

He kissed “Kuro”. “Kuro” dominated the kiss easily and made it sloppier.

\- For luck. – Keith said when they broke apart.

\- Heh. Thanks, babycheeks.

From the improvised leader board, it was plain to see that “Kuro” was a house favorite and had been undefeated for months now. It was still exciting to cheer for his lover and to see him knock out his opponent and make a show out of it.

He grinned lopsided to Keith with hunger in his eyes. “Kuro” was still in the ring and people were still cheering on the aftermath of the fight. Oh, but Keith knew that look.

Also, he was a good kitten. Thus, he bowed his head submissively with a shy smile.

The victory high seemed to make “Kuro’s” kiss even more aggressive and vicious. Keith followed his lead with a moan that “Kuro” devoured.

Keith usually didn’t like any kind of sex in public or semi-public places. However, “Kuro” didn’t seem to be the only one high on the victory and the adrenaline.

The restroom stall they were in was dirty and badly lit, but Keith still obeyed and kneeled in front of him.

It was exciting.

“Kuro” opened his pants and took his cock out. Then he grabbed Keith’s hair and brought his face to his groin. Keith smiled and complied, taking his dom’s cock in one go.

\- Good kitten. – “Kuro” breathed with a lopsided grin in the low light.

It was exciting to have “Kuro” use his mouth and throat in that badly lit restroom like a cheap fucktoy while whispering filthy praises of how debauchedly beautiful he looked.

It was exciting…

… until other people entered the bathroom talking loudly.

A bad memory took him.

Something Keith didn’t want to remember.

Being scared.

Being hurt.

Being ignored by the only ones that could help.

Keith felt disgusted.

Keith felt used.

Keith felt tainted.

“Kuro” had stilled his movements while the other men were in the room. He smirked lopsidedly and paid attention to sounds of the unsuspecting audience. He was just waiting for them to leave to restart.

“Kuro” grinned crookedly when the men left and looked back down at Keith.

Keith felt like vomiting.

There must be something in his expression, because his master frowned and pulled him off his dick.

\- Kitten, what colour?

Keith didn’t want to say that.

He really didn’t!

He wanted to be a good kitten!

He wanted to please his master.

He was a good kitten!

Oh, but he couldn’t.

\- Red! - he cried, still fighting the urge to vomit.

He felt on edge in the worst way, as if even the shadows were out to catch him. He was cold and feeling dirty and exposed.

Filthy.

He hid his face in his hands, crying in shame.

However, before he could dwell on the thought of failing his master, Shiro kneeled with him and held him tightly.

\- Thank you, Keith. You’re a good kitten. – he kissed the top of Keith’s head – It’s all right, I’ve got you babycheeks. I’ve got you.

Keith felt like he could breathe again.

Shiro soothed him gently and instructed him to breathe deeply and slowly. He basked Keith in sweet praises and pet names.

He was still a good kitten, wasn’t he?

When he had calmed down and was just breathing deeply while sitting on his master’s lap, Keith asked quietly.

\- Can we just go home, please?

Shiro held Keith’s face in his hands and kissed his forehead.

\- Yeah… let’s go home, kitten. – he kissed Keith’s lips gently – Thank you, kitten.

Keith blinked.

\- For… what? I couldn’t do it…

\- Yeah, and it’s OK. Thanks for letting me know. You’re a good kitten.

He was being earnest and he had a small, charming, crooked and gentle smile.

Keith couldn’t help but feel alleviated of his guilty.

At least a little.

Shiro took him back to the hoverbike by the hand while smiling in reassurance and repeating from time to time that Keith was a good kitten.

That made things easier for Keith.

He couldn’t help but smile shyly when Shiro put the helmet on Keith’s head, saying again that he was a good kitten.

They didn’t drive back to the Garrison, since they would only be allowed to enter in the morning. Thus, they went to the old desert shack, to spend the night there.

It was OK.

Keith almost felt like that was his house anyway.

(He shared secrets and sweet moments with his favorite person there. How couldn’t that place feel like home?)

However, when they got there, they saw that Matt’s old car was parked nearby. So much for  privacy.

\- Of all nights, – Shiro shook his head, displeased – Matt had to choose this one to come to get high in the shack?

Shiro and Matt had restored the cabin together, so they shared the main key to it. Shiro had been using the private place either to cool off or to fuck Keith silly in kinky ways. Matt just used the shack to get high undisturbed.

Shiro cringed and looked back at Keith.

\- Do you want to go to a motel, babycheeks? We can spend the night alone.

Keith shrugged and gave him a tiny smile.

\- Actually, I could use the extra relaxation. And a few good laughs.

Shiro raised his eyebrows and smirked lopsided.

\- Aren’t you full of surprises?

\- Oh, shut up. – Keith laughed – I didn’t even knew you smoked until today!

Matt was not alone this time; he had brought his sister, Katie, with him. They were watching _The Phantom of the Opera_ and laughing loudly.

Matt squealed when the couple entered, and Katie laughed even harder (her ponytail was coming undone).

\- Oh my Gooooooooooood Matt! – she laughed – You’re scared of poster-boy and kitty!?

Keith couldn’t help but chuckle. He had grown really fond of Katie, she was a nice nerd and she shared his passion for Isaac Asimov’s works. She would join the Garrison the next year, when she turned eighteen, and he was already expecting her to be fantastic.

Shiro reassured him quietly that they wouldn’t be scening that night after what had happened (he also said that they would talk about that, in order to see what went wrong. Keith was already thinking of excuses). That was why they agreed to get high with the Holts.

They were giggling and having a good time overall. Matt had the common sense of bringing food and keeping water near.

Thus, the night was still fun.

However, right at the end, something weird happened.

Well, even if Shiro and Keith wouldn’t scene, it didn’t mean that the wouldn’t have sex.

Keith was comfortable enough with vanilla sex and he was kinda horny.

(He also felt like sleeping and there was the good sensation of his brain floating inside his skull, alleviating any tension. So, why not feel satisfied too?)

He stumbled with Shiro into bed. They were both giggling. Shiro was smiling crookedly in one moment…

…then he was serious.

He looked at Keith tiredly.

\- Please be rough. – he said, as if any humor from before had disappeared.

Keith didn’t listen to him, of course. Shiro never seemed to enjoy any kind of rough play when he was bottoming. Keith was gentle. Firm, but gentle and caring.

Shiro was crying after they finished.

He held onto Keith like a scared child and cried.

\- Why am I always only second place?

Keith didn’t get what he meant.

Things were spinning in his mind.

He tried to console Shiro, repeating over and over again that he loved him and that he was good.

Unfortunately, he was about to fall asleep. He wanted to help Shiro, he really did. However, the day had been long and the pot made him sleepy.

Right before blacking out, Keith could swear that he heard Shiro say.

\- No, you don’t love me. You love Kuro.

Shiro denied saying that the next morning when they talked about it. He was charming with his smile and boyish allure.

Huh?

That was odd, but Keith just shrugged.

Maybe he had just imagined that due to a bad trip…

 

* * *

 

“Ok, spit it out,” Kuro said the next morning, after they said goodbye to Keith. “What the fuck is bothering you?”

“Nothing, Kuro,” Shiro said in a neutral tone. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

“Shiro, don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying.”

“And I’m Queen of England. Seriously, Shiro, I know you. There’s something wrong with you and it’s been like that for some time. Yesterday you started to fucking cry and say shit like, ‘why am I second place’ and ‘you only love Kuro’ right after fucking Keith!”

Shiro hesitated to answer.

“I was high, emotional and saying stupid things.”

“Bullshit! That is bullshit and you know it!”

The brothers were silent for a few moments, staring at the ceiling.

“Are you jealous that I’m with Keith too?” Kuro asked softly.

“What!? No!”

“Then what the fuck was that all about?”

“Nothing, Kuro! I was just high!”

“Bullshit! Shiro, you were his boyfriend first! The only reason why I’m dating him now is because you created the opportunity!”

Shiro didn’t answer.

“Shiro, what the fuck is going on? Come on, bro! It’s me! I’m your brother! Tell me what’s bothering you so I can fix it. I can’t help if you don’t tell me,” Kuro pleaded.

Shiro fought against tears.

The urge to tell Kuro everything was stronger than ever.

He was never good at keeping secrets from his dearest (and only) brother.

“You… you don’t have to help me…”

“WHAT THE FLYING FUCK!? Shiro, I’m your brother-!”

“No, you aren’t!” Shiro swallowed hard before continuing, “I’m not your brother. I wasn’t even supposed to exist!”

That made Kuro mute for a few moments.

“I’m… I… I was created just to help you… Just to do the things you didn’t want to. Just someone for you to talk to when you were alone. The only reason I was created was to help you.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Kuro-”

“No, Shiro, that is complete bullshit! You were not created to help me.” Kuro took a deep breath, steeling himself to say something that he knew was true but that would hurt to say anyway, “I was the one who was created.”

“What!? Kuro, of cour-“

“Yes, I was! You are the real Takashi Shirogane. I was just created because… because…”

He breathed in deeply again. Kuro wasn’t going to tell Shiro what happened (he was not ready yet, and he might never be), but he needed to say something.

“You needed protection. Someone who would protect you against harm when you were younger. You are the one who is real, and I’m just your bodyguard.”

“No, that is not it! I’m the second persona!”

“No, I am.”

They stared at each other, at the reflection of their face in the window.

Neither of them would back off on their supposition that they were the second personality.

“I think we might have a problem,” Kuro said slowly.

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“Shut up, Watson.”

Their conclusion was to ask the therapist. They should know who was the real one, right?

On their next Thursday therapy appointment, the therapist listened to both brothers presenting their explanations as to why they were the second personality and the other was the original.

\- So? – Kuro asked crossing his arms, after both brothers presented their arguments. – Who is the original?

\- And who is the second? – Shiro asked softly.

The therapist chuckled.

\- The answer is both for the two questions.

\- What the fuck! That’s not possible!

\- Oh, but it is. You see, Kuro and Shiro, you both are viewing this as if one of you was created from scratch only to fulfill a demand, either to give support or give protection. However, what probably happened was your mind, which had been the only one, split in two and developed from there. You two are part of that one mind. There is no “first” or “second” persona. You two, together, are the “real” Takashi.

\- Then what the fuck are we doing here, if it isn’t to get rid of the second?

\- That depends on what the two of you want, Kuro. I confess that your case is not the worse I have seen, so it will depend on if you two want to merge your essences back together, or if it is only to alleviate any form of angst that you two might feel.

\- How can that be optional? Shouldn’t we just become normal?

\- What is normal, Shiro?

He couldn’t answer.

The therapist continued.

\- Normalcy is a weak and faux concept. Wanting to achieve it leads to suffering most of the time. So, as long as you two are not hurting others and not hurting yourselves, it is fine and we can work from there.

The brothers were silent, both lost in convoluted thoughts.

\- Can we keep existing as two and that wouldn’t be, you know, wrong?

The therapist chuckled again.

\- You two are the only ones who cananswer that.

On their way back to the Garrison, they were still quiet,their minds in turmoil.

“We are… one?” Kuro asked at last when he was parking the hoverbike.

“I… guess? I mean, this changes a lot of things.”

“Yeah… I think I still have to think about stuff…”

“Yeah, me too…”

“But, you have to talk to Keith.”

“Huh?”

“You’re thinking that he prefers me.”

“Well, duh, of course he does.”

“You’re being dense, bro. He loves you and he loves to fuck you too.”

“He’s having more fun with you.”

“Bro, he _said_ that he likes both, the kinky and the vanilla.”

Shiro was silent.

“Don’t believe me? Then ask him tomorrow before we go out.”

“I… I don’t know… It will look stupid…”

“And me talking about how I was a virgin to BDSM wasn’t?”

Shiro chuckled.

“Ok. You do have a point. But… I’m still worried about it…”

“Bro, I’ll be with you and I can tell you how he’s receiving the information. I just want you to be comfortable with sharing him too.”

Shiro smiled.

“Thanks, Kuro.”

Kuro grinned.

 

* * *

 

Shiro had asked Keith to go with him again on that Friday to blow off steam.

\- Honestly, I think you can join me whenever you want. – he had said with a lopsided grin – It was fun to have you with me.

Keith had fun too, and even when things went sour, Shiro made him feel safe and loved.

So why not?

That particular Friday, he met Shiro at the hangar where his hoverbike was parked.

Shiro seemed nervous, toying with his dogtags around his neck.

\- Hey, Takashi. – he greeted his boyfriend.

\- Keith! Hi!

If possible, he looked even more anxious.

\- Is everything all right?

\- Yeah… Kinda… I mean… Can we talk before going?

Keith raised one eyebrow in concern and confusion.

\- Ok. What’s bothering you, Takashi?

Shiro took a deep breath and closed his eyes, as if gathering courage. Then he looked back at his boyfriend.

\- More recently, we’ve been exploring a more… kinky relationship.

\- Yeah…?

\- I’m kinda conflicted about it…

Keith blinked in confusion.

\- Do you want to stop?

\- What?! No. That’s not the thing that’s bothering me.

\- Then what it is, Takashi?

Keith caressed Shiro’s face tenderly. Shiro closed his eyes and relaxed into the touch.

\- I’m… I’m worried about the… slow sex part of the relationship. You know… When I’m bottom...

Keith couldn’t help but snicker.

\- Don’t laugh, baby.

\- Sorry, sorry. But, of all  things, you’re worried about the vanilla part?

\- Yeah! I mean, I like doing more extreme things with you, but I… I also like the nerdy things and I like to take it slow and sweet during sex too. And I’m… kinda… worried that you wouldn’t want that anymore now that you’re also my sub…

Keith smiled tenderly and caressed Shiro’s lips before kissing him.

\- Don’t worry your pretty little mind. I love you. All of you. I really love that we can have both. I love how you have so many sides and, fuck! I love all of them. – he kissed Shiro again – If you’re worried that we’re not having enough vanilla sex, we can try to balance more. Talking and all that relationship shit you like to talk about.

Shiro caressed Keith’s face and Keith sighed, content. Shiro chuckled.

\- Thanks, baby. And just for the record, I love you.

\- I know. – Keith smirked.

\- No, seriously, - Shiro kissed his forehead – you have no idea how much. I love you doubly much.

\- I love you too, Takashi.

They stared at each other while embracing with smiles on their faces.

\- So, crisis resolved? – Keith asked with a grin.

\- Yeah… Thanks, baby… for everything.

\- I’m glad to help.

Shiro blinked before giving him his lopsided grin.

\- Ready to go, babycheeks?

 

* * *

 

“I told you so.”

Shiro sighed with a pleased smile while holding a sleeping and naked Keith.

“Yeah, you did…”

The brothers were in silent, lost in their thoughts.

However, somehow, that night they got to the same conclusion, and they knew that it was a shared thought.

“We have to marry him.”

“We like it so we put a ring on it.”

“We need money. For the ring and for an apartment for us to live.”

“For the apartment part, we can just save up money for now. I’m sure Keith will want to help on that, to feel like it’s his too.”

“That’s fair. But we need to buy a ring. Something fancy.”

“Something with red.”

“Kuro, red isn’t a usual color for proposal rings.”

“But red is his color”.

“Ok, good point.”

They were silent for some time.

“I don’t want to be apart from him after graduation,” Kuro confessed.

“Yeah, me neither… You know… the Garrison offered a position as exploration pilot. It doesn’t have the highest salary of all the offers, but it’s still good.”

“The missions gives big bonuses, right?”

“Yeah! Two smaller missions or a big one can give us enough money for an apartment, a good one in the nice part of the city. A good one for two-slash-three people”.

“And we stay closer to him. Sounds like a good plan!”

“Actually, there’s a big mission coming, and since we are graduating before it starts, we’re eligible to be the mission pilot.”

“Really? Which one? I wasn’t exactly paying attention.”

“The Kerberos mission. And don’t worry, I don’t know details either, I just heard the rumours.”

“Kerberos, huh? Sounds like a good choice.”

“Great! I’ll start talking to people to see if I can still apply.”

The brothers smiled.

“I’m excited!”

“Me too, bro.”

They would regret that decision in the future.

 

* * *

 

The night when the brothers made the decision to ask Keith to marry them was almost perfect.

The only detail that spoiled the fun was Keith waking up in the middle of the night screaming because of a nightmare.

Kuro was the first one to respond to the emergency, as always, but Shiro was not far behind.

\- Babycheeks? What happened?

Keith panted and trembled, unable to speak.

\- Keith?

He launched himself at Kuro and hugged him tightly.

Both brothers were at loss about what to do.

\- Hey, it is ok baby. – Shiro said to their boyfriend, holding him and rubbing his back soothingly.

\- We’ve got you, babycheeks.

Keith didn’t seem to notice Kuro’s slip.

It took awhile for Keith to calm down.

He didn’t want to talk about what he had dreamed.

The brothers respected that wish.

(Shiro swore to himself to help their lover to feel comfortable in the future and Kuro swore to himself to protect their boyfriend from whatever monsters that would haunt him in his sleep.)

 

* * *

 

Few cadets could say that they’ll be graduating with a job and a big upcoming mission.

Yet, there was Shiro and Kuro: an official of the Garrison and the future pilot of the Kerberos mission.

Convincing Iverson to support their candidacy for that mission was fairly easy for Shiro. The Commander was very susceptible to some mild ass-kissing. He was the kind of guy who truly believed that the Garrison was his life, and he would favour whoever seemed to be the same. All Shiro had to do, is to put the mask of the **Golden Boy™** , the guy who breathed and lived for the Garrison and who worshipped the commander.

Easy, just a little boring.

The brothers were pleased to find out that Commander Holt was responsible for the mission, making it even easier for them to become the pilot. All the Holts loved them as if they were family, and the brothers loved the Holts just the same. They couldn't have asked for anyone better to spend almost seven months with, than Sam and Matt Holt.

Keith was supportive of their decision.

\- I mean, – he had said – I’m going to miss you like hell, but I could never forgive myself if I hold you back from your dreams.

Kuro kissed Keith’s lips and Shiro kissed his forehead.

\- I’m going to miss you too, baby. – Shiro said earnestly – I love you so much…

\- I love you too, Takashi.

The payment was half of the total before the mission and the rest after it.

Enough for the brothers to go to a jewellery shop looking for a ring.

They had no doubts that Keith was the only one they would ever love like that. They were even considering telling him the truth: telling him about them being two people, instead of one.

They opted instead to order a special ring, custom-made for their beloved.

It was silver, with the Little Dipper constellation carved on the metal, with little diamonds as the stars. The Polaris was a small ruby, red just like Keith’s favorite color.

It had a nice symbolism to it.

They decided that it was best if they saved the ring and asked for Keith’s hand only after the mission. Even if they were confident in their flying abilities, many things could go wrong. Once they were safe and sound back on Earth, they would propose.

Thus, the ring stayed in their Garrison locker, on top of the small draft of what Shiro wanted them to say.

The weekend before the quarantine, the brothers spent their time with Keith in the shack.

Once again, they agreed to share.

Since they wouldn’t see each other for months, Keith agreed to pose for a few photos for Kuro.

Keith was tied up in a shibari pattern. His hands were stretched and tied behind his back with black ropes that was around his chest and arms. He was wearing the red collar and his hair was in a ponytail. He had a black blindfold (an agreement between the couple, to protect Keith’s identity in case the pictures fall into the wrong hands) and red roses in between the knots.

Kuro smirked, looking at him.

Fuck… how could that man be so beautiful?

\- You look great, kitten. – he said snapping a few pictures – Look at me.

Keith moaned and looked over his shoulder. His face was flushed and (even if it wasn’t visible from that position) his cock was hard between his legs.

\- So handsome and ravishing… I don’t know if I should continue with this or if I should just fuck you silly.

Keith moaned again, and Kuro got a photo of the exact moment of it (Keith had his lips parted and he looked relaxed).

Soon after, Keith seemed a little restless.

Kuro caressed Keith’s shoulder.

\- What is it, kitten? What color?

He panted a little before answering.

\- Orange, sir.

\- Hum… Then maybe we should change your position.

He took the roses out of his composition and the blindfold off. Keith blinked to get used to the light again. Kuro showed him the knife he would use to cut the ropes. Keith moaned and nodded.

He always liked some knife play, and since he was being so good, Kuro teased him a little with the blade before undoing his work.

Kuro had bought a lot of rope, already thinking about all the positions he could put Keith for that photoshoot. They wouldn’t have much time, so he decided to cut the ropes in order to go faster.

Once Keith was free again and panting, he kissed him.

\- What do you say, kitten? Are you up for a new position? – he asked while making Keith drink some water.

That had been the fifth one they had done that afternoon. Kuro had a full album to keep him busy during the mission. Oh, but he was always greedy when Keith was the subject.

Keith nodded and sighed with a pleased groan.

\- Yes, sir.

\- Good kitten.

He put the blindfold on again and instructed Keith to sit properly. Kuro tied his hands behind his back in a new position, one that would be more comfortable when Keith was laying on his back. The black rope was around his chest, on his arms and topped with a beautiful lace at the back of Keith’s neck (one of Kuro’s favorite parts of him).

Kuro made Keith lie on his back before spreading his legs. He tied his legs to his thighs and then tied the result around Keith’s waist, so that the legs would stay spread.

He finalized his final composition, tying the top part with the lower part, and putting a red rose in the knot above Keith’s belly button.

Keith was flushed and breathing deeply. His lips were parted and he seemed to follow Kuro’s voice with his head. His cock was hard and an angry red between his legs and his hole was visible, with just the faint remainder of the lube they used during foreplay.

\- What color, kitten?

Keith needed a few moments to catch his breath before answering.

\- Yellow, sir.

\- That’s OK. This is the last one, promise. Then we can do something else.

Keith nodded. Kuro chuckled and picked up the camera again.

\- You are gorgeous, my kitten. So beautiful, all spread open for me…

Keith moaned. Kuro took pictures.

\- Stunning, alluring and ravishing. Thank you so much for letting me do this.

Keith arched his back in response. More pictures.

Kuro put his camera away and got closer to Keith, settling in between his legs.

\- I can barely hold myself back from eating you alive. – he said in a seductive whisper while taking off the blindfold.

Keith looked at him with adoration in his eyes.

Oh, such beautiful eyes… They seemed to have more stars than the night sky. They looked at him as if Kuro was Uranus, Greek god of the Sky. He tried to say so much with his eyes, but it seemed like they alone couldn’t. Thus, Keith fought with his words for a few moments while Kuro caressed his cheek with his thumb.

\- Green, sir.

Kuro raised his eyebrows in surprise, and then he chuckled in understanding.

\- What a good kitten you are, letting me play with you to my heart’s content.

He kissed Keith’s lips tenderly before taking the rose away from his navel and picking up the condom and lube. Since Keith was already loose (he just needed more lube) it was fast. Soon enough, Kuro buried himself into Keith with a single thrust.

Keith could only arch his back and moan back.

Kuro stared at him, especially at his blue eyes, for the longest time while fucking him.

He wanted to save that memory in his brain in order to cherish it forever.

Who he was kidding? He wanted to keep Keith with him forever.

He loved him.

Kuro had already reached that conclusion by himself, but the sweet and loving nature of his feelings still surprised him.

He loved Keith with his whole heart and soul.

The only person he had ever loved like that had been Shiro. The only difference was that instead of loving Shiro romantically and sexually, he loved him like only good siblings can love each other.

His life would be empty without either one of them.

He ordered Keith to come seconds before his own orgasm, and Keith, like the great kitten he was, obeyed.

It was satisfying (for both of them) like very few things in life were.

Kuro made sure to recover first, in order to cut the ropes and free Keith. He was holding him when Keith came back from his high.

This time he didn’t cry since it wasn’t a rough scene (with spanking, whips, or choking). However, Keith still liked to be held and caressed after any kind of scene.

\- I’ve got you, babycheeks. You were great as always, doll.

They napped together on that hot afternoon in the desert.

The shack was their little oasis, their personal haven.

As he had agreed with his brother, they switched places when they woke up back again.

Shiro was lying on his stomach and Keith was tracing patterns on his back. Kuro watched the two.

\- I’m gonna miss this. – Shiro said with a sweet smile – There’s nothing better than waking beside you.

Keith had a matching gentle smile.

\- Sappiness won’t take you anywhere with me.

His voice was still a little slurred, but he seemed happy.

Shiro used his arms to lift his body up a little and kiss Keith’s pink lips.

\- I disagree. I’ve got you wrapped around my finger when I’m sap.

\- Oh, really?

Shiro chuckled and gently laid on top of their boyfriend.

\- Really really.

Their kisses became sloppy.

Keith broke the kiss.

\- Takashi, I don’t think I can do another scene right now.

Shiro pouted.

\- Not even slower sex? Pretty please?

Keith smiled and pretended to think.

\- I think I can make a tiny little exception for vanilla this time.

Shiro chuckled and kissed him again.

\- How lucky I am!

Keith helped him to prepare, but he was still recovering from his scene with Kuro. So, Shiro was riding him (Shiro didn’t mind. The position was exciting).

This time, Kuro felt relaxed enough to watch closer than usual.

It almost hurt, how Keith made him feel safe and loved.

Scratch that.

It almost hurt, how Keith made both of them feel safe and loved.

Kuro couldn’t ignore that Keith made him and his brother happy.

Almost as if the three of them were made for each other, a perfect match made by the gods themselves.

Even with Shiro bottoming, Kuro was starting to feel at ease. He probably wouldn’t fully enjoy that anytime soon, but it was rather pleasant to watch them making love with genuine interest instead of fear.

After finishing, Shiro laid his head on Keith’s chest, staring at him with affection and wonder.

\- I love you. – he said, and Kuro was proud to say that he was representing both brothers when he said that.

Keith smiled tiredly. The poor boy was spent, but he still have the energy to look at them in adoration.

\- I love you too.

It was amazing how Keith made them feel like one.

Just more proof that Keith was _the one_.

 

* * *

 

Keith woke up first on that Sunday morning, the last weekend before Shiro would go to quarantine before the seven-months-long mission.

That Saturday had been amazing. Keith would cherish the memories in those long months alone. It was almost ridiculous, how much he wanted to keep his Takashi with him forever.

Oh, but his lover had wings of his own, made to discover the universe.

It was OK.

Keith would join him as soon as he could.

(He was already the best pilot that had ever stepped into the Garrison, or so Shiro said. It probably wouldn’t be that hard.)

Shiro was holding him like he was something precious, and Keith basked in the feeling.

He started to trace his boyfriend’s face with his fingers, saving in his memory the sensation of that face he loved so much (the softness of the lips, the roughness of the stubble, the shape of the nose and of his eyes).

Speaking of that Saturday, there was something confusing dominating his mind. Nothing serious, or so he believed. Something that was extremely pleasurable, but odd about Takashi (that Saturday just highlighted that thought once again).

Shiro kissed like two different people.

He fucked like two different people

He looked at Keith like two different people.

All depending on the occasion, of course.

He had so many different tastes! Keith felt like he couldn’t keep up with his love of the terror movie genre, his passion for some fantasy books, the moments he needed sweetness and cuddles and the moments he needed to feel some adrenaline thrill.

It was not a bad thing. Takashi loved him anyway. It was clear as day in his beautiful brown eyes. It was just some other thing he would miss during the Kerberos mission.

He loved Shiro, and that seemed to be his lover’s state of being.

Thus, Keith loved that and would miss it.

Shiro woke up slowly and smiled crookedly at him.

He would miss the lopsided smiles and the even smiles.

He would miss his Takashi.

 

* * *

 

The brothers had passed every test the Garrison threw at them for the Kerberos mission. They convinced Iverson and the other commanders that they were worth the shot, even if they were young and fresh from pilot school. Their therapist gave them a good recommendation (they were stable, even if it was an unusual kind of stability).

They said their sweet goodbye from Keith with two kisses, one for Shiro and another for Kuro.

All seemed perfect for the mission.

\- Man, you seem to excited enough for two people about this mission. – Matt commented while laughing, on their first day to Kerberos.

The brothers chuckled.

He had no idea…

It seemed to be the beginning of their life, a life just the way they wanted it to be.

(They never expected everything to go sour).


	5. Champion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language. This story if partially betaed, and there is just one peculiarity before you start reading:  
> \- [Text after dashes] = TALKING (A Romance Language custom)  
> "[Text between quotation marks]" = THE CONVERSATIONS INSIDE SHIRO AND KURO'S HEAD
> 
> Now, to the story!

Kuro would never forgive himself for the way things went sour.

Fuck anyone who said it wasn’t his fault.

He was the one guilty.

He should have said no to the Kerberos mission.

He should have stayed on Earth with Keith.

He should have been stronger.

Kuro should have done a lot of things.

Oh, but there isn’t any way to go back in time.

No matter how he regretted the decision that took him there, the past couldn’t be changed, his present was bleak and his future seemed to be covered in blood.

The first two months of the Kerberos mission were as calm as what the brothers had expected.

It was a little confining to be with the same two people 24/7, even if they were people the twins liked. However, as always, they adapted. They worked together to help Kuro’s restlessness and Shiro’s anxiety.

They had been prepared to do it after all.

After adapting, being with Sam and Matt felt pretty much like what they expected what being with family would be like.

They enjoyed the days until they reached Kerberos, mostly talking and joking. There were a few stops at human colonies on Mars, and another on the outpost in Rhea (Saturn’s moon), but those were quick, just to gather more resources.

At least those gave them enough time to send private messages to their loved ones. Sam and Matt always recorded messages to Colleen (Mrs Holt) and Katie. Shiro and Kuro would send messages to Keith. It hadn’t been difficult to convince Iverson to allow them to send messages to their “best friend” and fellow great pilot, and the brothers hoped that the messages would help to keep Keith motivated.

It would be a dream to travel with their lover in space, but for that to happen, Keith needed to graduate.

After Rhea, they were flying into unexplored territory towards the Kuiper belt, towards Pluto and Kerberos.

\- Viva la Pluto, bitches. – Matt said with a smirk, the first time they saw the dwarf-planet.

\- Language. – Sam said, but he was smiling.

Shiro agreed with Sam while Kuro chuckled.

“Viva la Pluto!”

“Shut up, Kuro.”

They were supposed to reach Kerberos after three months of traveling and stay only two weeks collecting samples. The place was too cold for them to stay much longer. Bigger missions would be required in the future for that. However, they were the first ones to charter this unexplored territory.

Shiro smiled as he took a picture of the view from the window (he had been doing that the whole journey).

“Do you think humans will reach farther than our solar system soon, Kuro?”

Kuro chuckled.

“It’s possible, bro. It was only 25 years ago that Rhea was explored for the first time!”

Shiro grinned.

“Maybe we‘ll be alive to see the next generation go even farther than what we reached!”

Another chuckle from Kuro.

“That would be great.”

They landed on Kerberos on a Monday.

\- This is a small step for a man… - Matt grinned.

\- …but a great leap for mankind! – Kuro completed with a lopsided grin of his own.

They jumped at the same time onto the moon surface, laughing. At the back of his head, Kuro could feel Shiro mentally shaking his head with an amused smile. Sam laughed.

\- I appreciate the enthusiasm, but we don’t have enough time, boys.

They laughed again.

Shiro had already sent the message back to Garrison that they had landed. The message would take a whole day to get to Earth, and they couldn’t just waste that precious time. Thus, the crew was free to start collecting samples.

To be honest, Kuro was not all that thrilled about trying to find proof of xenobiology. Humans hadn’t found anything on any of the other planets (although they hadn’t explored Jupiter or Saturn yet as they didn’t have the technology to escape their gravity) or on the other moons or asteroids. Shiro liked to think they weren’t alone, but he was not that hopeful too.

The Holts seemed more excited about that, already deciding on where they would collect their samples and all.

That same afternoon, they were already starting to prepare to pierce the ice.

When they finished setting up all the equipment, it was already evening for them. The gravity made things difficult, so they decided to go back into the  ship and call that a day.

Both brothers were excited. However, they were also tired. Shiro stayed there, lazily staring out of the window from time to time, looking towards Neptune and daydreaming. Kuro decided to use his time with less ethereal fantasies, by opening his phone and staring at his selection of pictures of Keith tied up and adorned with red roses.

“Hum… I should have taken some pictures too,” Shiro commented lazily while Kuro was jerking off (thank god for the artificial gravity of the ship. It would be embarrassing to have cum flying around).

Kuro groaned after he finished. The ship had been laden with double of what they would need, in case of a setback that made them stay longer on Kerberos. The twins were embarrassed to say that they used a little bit more tissue than what was expected. Not that anybody would notice, but it was still embarrassing.

“We’ll come here with him on the next mission, bro.”

“Yeah… I’d like that…”

They smiled at each other, imagining their lover there with them.

Matt knocked on their door.

Kuro finished cleaning themselves up and Shiro took control of the body.

\- Come on in!

Matt was grinning.

\- Dude! That stone over there looks like a dog!

The brothers laughed.

\- Bro, you aren’t gonna find a space dog!

\- Bro!

They spent the rest of the time laughing and joking about having space pets. Matt wanted a dog, Shiro and Kuro preferred a cat.

The next morning, they started to dig for microscopic xenobiology clues. A lot more boring than imagining space cats, but the brothers could understand the thrill.

\- Easy, son. This ice is delicate. – Sam grinned.

\- Amazing. Isn't this exciting, Shiro?

That was the fifth time Matt had asked him that just that day alone.

Shiro was in command that morning.

(That was the last time he would be in full control of their body for more than an hour for the next entire year, but the brothers didn’t know that yet.)

\- You guys get a little more excited about ice samples than I do. – he chuckled.

\- This is history in the making. – Sam said, catching the first sample of ice, his eyes sparkling.

\- Think of it, Dad! We could use those clues to become the first people to meet aliens!

Both Sam and Shiro chuckled.

\- My life's work would be complete.

The area around them started to rumble.

\- What is that? Seismic activity?

Like in any case where physical activity might be required, the brothers switched places.

\- We should get back to the ship. – Kuro said with a frown, itching to grab the controls and get him and his crew out of there.

However, before they could even take one step towards their ship, they saw it.

A spaceship.

An alien spaceship.

It was purple and menacing, flying towards them and shooting a weird purple ray.

The Holts gasped.

\- Wha—? What is that?! It can't be...

Kuro reacted faster.

\- Run! Come on, run!

It was hopeless.

They were captured.

Shiro tried to reason with the Aliens.

\- Please, we come from a peaceful planet! W-We mean you no harm! We're unarmed! – he pleaded, hoping that they could spare them.

Oh, but as the brothers would soon find out, the Galra Empire didn’t negotiate and had no mercy.

They were knocked out.

The twins woke up while being dragged through a long corridor.

A prison.

They could hear the screams and whimpers of the prisoners.

Shiro was terrified. He trembled and sweated.

“Fuck,” he swore in their shared mindspace.

He never swore.

He was the goody-two-shoes of the brothers.

For him to say that it meant that he was terrified.

Kuro could see that the guard was taking Shiro’s fear as a sign of weakness. That didn’t seem to be a good impression to leave on their captors.

Kuro switched places with Shiro.

He made a brave face, while desperate looking for a way out.

At the back of his mind, he could feel Shiro starting to panic.

He couldn’t afford that.

Every inch of energy should be used to survive.

After many many years, Kuro covered Shiro’s vision.

He hated to do that.

He wished he didn’t need to do that.

“I’m sorry, Shiro.”

Before Shiro could answer, Kuro gave the command.

 _Sleep_.

He felt Shiro’s mind go lax at the back of their brain, just like all the times their father entered their room when they were children.  

Asleep.

Safe.

Protected.

After all, Kuro was the protector.

Kuro wished he could wash his memories of that year from his mind out with bleach.

Maybe that could cleanse him.

Probably not.

Kuro protected the Holts the only way he could. He wondered if Shiro would ever be proud of him for pretending to be the gladiator they wanted. Who would thought that he was as good as his brother at pretending, huh?

That didn’t change the fact that he was alone.

Alone in an unforgiving prison floating in the middle of space.

In his darkest moments, he thought about Earth, about his friends, about the places he had seen, about the things he liked and about Keith.

Remembering Keith’s lips, his smell and his eyes kept Kuro sane for a while. It reminded him that Kuro was human, that he loved and was loved in return.

He hated his new title.

He hated to be called “Champion”.

His friends had called him that back on Earth because he would win all his fights. He used to like the nickname.

He hated it now.

Kuro started to dread windows.

He didn’t want to remember that he once loved the stars.

He hated them now.

Oh, but he couldn’t afford to waste energy on self-pity.

All his physical and emotional resources should be used to survive.

He didn’t deserve pity anyway.

Not with the amount of blood that was on his hands.

His mind.

His soul.

He was cracked.

Broken.

Tarnished.

Every few days, they brought him back to the Arena.

Every few days, he had to kill and kill again.

He was too far gone.

He became the beast the Galra wanted him to be.

The scars reminded him of what he was now:

A monster.

He started to think that maybe…

Just maybe…

Maybe he deserved to be there.

He was always violent.

Always ruthless.

He hurt even the people he loved.

He was always a monster.

Now he had just found the right cage.

At some point, he didn’t know when, he realized that he had lost his name.

Yes, he remembered it, but it felt alien and foreign in his mind.

He was…

He was the Champion.

The Galra lapdog.

The fight dog.

A beast.

Sometimes he wondered why he was alive.

His memories of Earth seemed like a foreign life. Like reading about it in a book or seeing in a movie. In his head, he would never see any of that again.

He would never see his old shack again.

He would never see his friends again.

He would never see Keith again.

He didn’t deserve to see any of that again.

He was a monster, and a monster wasn’t worthy of love.

He stopped thinking about the shack.

He stopped thinking about Pablo, Mad-dog, Lito, Dante, Thunderbolt, Drey, Gonzalez and Lucky, his dear friends who used to cheer for him.

He stopped thinking about Keith.

Keith was a particular sore spot, since he was the only person besides Shiro whom he had loved that much.

It hurts to imagine what his lover would ever think, to see him like that.

Undone.

Shaped into a beast.

Someone like Keith, strong, brave and _good_ would never love someone like him (weak, wicked and _wrong_ ).

It hurt too much to love someone he didn’t deserve and would never have again.

If wasn’t for Shiro at the back of his mind, the Champion would have given up a long time ago.

He needed to protect his brother.

He needed to fight.

He kept his brother asleep all the time.

It was the first time he had to do that for such a long period of time, but it was necessary.

He woke up in the middle of his sleep at some point, feeling his brother’s essence slipping away.

Like a spirit leaving a corpse.

\- NO! PLEASE! WAKE UP! SHIRO, WAKE UP!

He didn’t care if the guards thought he was insane.

He couldn’t lose his brother!

He trembled and cried.

Please… please…

He couldn’t lose him too!

His brother was all he had!

PLEASE!

“Kuro…?” Shiro asked groggily.

He sobbed.

\- YES! YES! I’m here, Shiro! I’m here!

His brother tried to shake himself awake and fully recover his senses. Feebly, he tried to take control of the body.

The Champion sucked in a breath in dread and stopped him.

He couldn’t let Shiro see the reckless and terrible things that had happened to their body.

(Ugly scars that Kuro blamed himself for).

“Kuro, what’s happening?”

He was getting stronger, waking up fully now.

He couldn’t…

He couldn’t see that.

\- I’m sorry! I’m sorry! – Kuro sobbed.

He put his hand over Shiro’s eyes again.

“No! Don’t-“

 _Sleep_.

Shiro was out again and Kuro felt even more like a monster.

More like the Champion.

He sobbed like a child.

At least now he had a new objective:

Escape.

Give Shiro his freedom back.

For Kuro?

Well, maybe it would be the time for him to stop existing…

First things first.

He needed to escape.

He memorized the sentries’ marching patterns and the guard shift rotations.

He tried once.

He failed and was punished.

He tried again.

Failed again.

Punished again.

Tried.

Failed.

Punished.

He had more scars now.

Champion cried for Shiro once more, just desperate to feel him closer one more time.

He felt like a selfish monster.

Why was he dragging his brother through that hell just because he couldn’t handle being alone?

How more pathetic and cruel could he get?

“Kuro! What is go-“

_Sleep._

Champion never deserved Shiro.

His brother was good.

Gentle.

Kind.

He would have found a solution already.

Champion or Kuro was just some stupid monster.

He blamed himself when his attempts to escape caught the attention of Haggar.

More scars for his collection.

Different scars.

Terrible scars.

At first, she only interrogated him about something he didn’t know. Some kind of weapon that seemed to be powerful enough to destroy Zarkon and the Empire. A secret weapon, hidden from the Galra long ago.

Voltron.

Oh, how he wished to know anything about it so he could tell her.

How ashamed he was to realize that he would have given the most powerful weapon in the universe to the Galra just so Haggar would stop torturing him…

What a selfish monster he was.

Soon, Haggar realized that he didn’t know a thing about Voltron.

Oh, but she didn’t lose her interest in experimenting on him.

\- What a peculiar specimen you are, Champion. – she chuckled.

He soon found out that he wasn’t fully broken yet.

Haggar destroyed him.

Toyed with him like a child burning ants with a magnifying glass.

His hair was turning white with all the weird energy Haggar was using on him.

He had a scar over his nose when she tried to look inside his mouth and nose.

He had a long scar over his abdomen when she cut him open to look around.

And that was not considering the number of samples she took.

Sometimes he wondered when Haggar would take samples from his brain, killing him on her experimentation table or damaging him forever.

She cut his hand off, a clean cut just a few inches below his elbow.

Also, maybe it was good to mention that Haggar was not a fan of using anaesthesia.

Kuro was ashamed that he was weak while recovering from the loss of his hand.

He woke up to find Shiro making them drink water.

\- We have a fever. – Shiro said tiredly, using their remaining hand to drink water from their water bucket – We need to stay hydrated.

Shiro was serious. His tone made it clear that he meant business.

\- Let me help you. – he asked, looking at their reflection in the greasy water.

Kuro cried.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

Before Shiro could properly react, Kuro had already taken control back.

“Kuro! No!”

 _Sleep_.

Haggar thought he was crying for his lost hand.

That couldn’t be further from the truth.

Now Shiro had seen what he had done to their shared body.

He had seen the monstrous face that Kuro had given them.

He had seen that Kuro had even lost their hand.

What else had he seen before Kuro woke up?

Kuro cried for that.

Haggar turned part of his arm into steel and connected it with a new hand.

A deadly hand.

She chuckled.

\- What a great weapon you will be.

She wasn’t going to stop until she destroyed him completely and used what was left for her vile purposes.

He feared for Shiro.

He was too weak to save him.

A weak monster, crying like a coward in the dark.

On the next day, when he was taken back to the experimentation table, something changed.

Someone helped him.

A man dressed like a druid knocked down the guards around them.

\- Listen to me. We don't have much time.

Kuro almost lose consciousness.

The Galra slapped his face.

\- Wake up! Zarkon has located the Blue Lion of Voltron on your planet Earth. You must get it before he does.

He freed Kuro and helped him escape. He had a plan, with bombs as a distraction.

\- Who are you? – he couldn’t help but ask.

Why was that Galra helping him?

Was that a trap?

Could he trust him?

The Galra looked at him with urgency in his golden eyes.

\- I am Ulaz. Now, come on! Zarkon will know that I released you, so I must disappear. But, if you survive, go to the coordinates in your arm. The Blade of Marmora is with you.

\- Why are you helping me?

\- As a fighter and a leader, you give hope. You sacrificed yourself for your crew. Maybe you are the Hero we need. Now hurry! Earth needs you. We all do.

Kuro wanted to disagree.

He wasn’t a hero.

He was a Monster.

He wasn’t a leader.

He was the Champion.

But he was weak.

He ran.

He escaped.

He was free!

That meant…

That meant that Shiro was free.

Kuro would help him to alert the authorities. He would tell them to find Voltron.

Then he would do what he should have done long ago:

Disappear.

The controls of the escape pod were hard to figure out and they were in Galran. They wasn’t intuitive.

He crashed.

Kuro was stuck in the debris.

Fuck!

He couldn’t die there!

He had to alert Earth!

He had to find Voltron!

That was their only hope!

FUCK!

He breathed in relief when someone from the Garrison pulled him out.

They were safe!

They would alert the authorities so they would be prepared.

Oh, but his relief was short-lived.

He was immediately strapped onto a table.

It was a great effort for Kuro not to start hyperventilating immediately.

\- Hey! What are you doing?

Iverson looked at him with a mixture of fear and disgust.

\- Calm down, Shiro. We just need to keep you quarantined until we run some tests on you.

\- You have to listen to me! They destroyed worlds! Aliens are coming!

Iverson looked at him with condescension. As if he was a particularly hard-to-tame animal.

\- Do you know how long you've been gone?

The science team was all around him, examining. Kuro focused on Iverson desperately.

He couldn’t panic now.

He couldn’t!

He couldn’t throw away his only shot to save them all!

\- I don't know! Months? Years? Look, there's no time! Aliens are coming here for a weapon. They're probably on their way. They'll destroy us! We have to find Voltron!

On his right side, one of the scientists was examining his prosthetic.

\- Sir, take a look at this. It appears his arm has been replaced with a cyborg prosthetic.

Iverson hummed.

\- Put him under until we know what that thing can do.

Kuro panicked.

No! That couldn’t be happening!

Earth was lost!

\- Don't, don't put me under! No! No, there's no time! Let me go!

Before he could have the chance to activate his Galra arm and escape, a needle pricked his flesh arm.

The coldness from the sedative seemed to penetrate into Kuro’s soul.

All hope was lost, wasn’t it?

Kuro blacked out into a dreamless slumber.

He woke up slowly, thanks to the sedative’s effects.

However, he immediately realized that he was not strapped down anymore.

He was in a bed.

Fuck… it had been so long since he had been on a real bed…

Someone was holding his human hand tenderly. Lips were kissing it.

Oh, but it was the smell that made Kuro recognize the person.

He didn’t even need to open his eyes to recognize him.

 _Keith_.

\- Keith…? – he asked feebly while opening his eyes.

That was a dream.

That couldn’t be real.

It couldn’t…

But Keith was there crying while holding his hand.

He looked **_so_** relieved that Kuro was there.

\- Takashi! – he sobbed, hugging Kuro tightly.

Kuro closed his watering eyes.

A miracle…

That must be a miracle, to be with his beloved again.

However, all it took was a look at his right hand to him to realize that he didn’t deserve that.

He took a year from his brother.

He killed innocent people.

He was broken and rebuilt into something he didn’t recognize.

Kuro didn’t deserve Keith.

Shiro did.

He woke up his brother at the same time he gave up the control.

Kuro would disappear.

There was no place for a monster in their perfect life.

Of course that Shiro was thrilled to meet their lover again. They kissed and cried together.

However, Shiro was not happy with what Kuro was doing to himself.

“Can we talk now?” he asked with a displeased and annoyed tone while they were outside their old shack (now in Keith’s possession) in the early hours of the morning.

Kuro tried to make himself smaller inside their own mind, curling around his own existence.

“Kuro, please! I need to know what happened to us!”

Kuro trembled and held back tears.

He needed to stop being a goddamn baby.

He didn’t deserve to cry and be vulnerable.

No beast deserved that.

“I’m sorry…”

Shiro sighed.

“Hey, I’m not mad at you. Whatever it was, I need to know so I can help you.”

Kuro just winced.

“Kuro, please!”

Kuro took a (metaphorical) deep breathe.

“I’m sorry for what I did. You have to find Voltron. It’s the only way to save Earth.”

“Kuro, what happened to us? Why is our arm like this?”

However, Kuro refused to answer.

Shiro kept asking him, but Keith showed up not long after with a pleased smile.

\- It’s good to have you back.

Shiro returned the smile with tenderness.

\- It’s good to be back.

“That conversation is not over, Kuro.”

Kuro only winced again.

He tried to not pay attention to what was happening outside his own mind.

Especially to Keith.

It was too painful to think that he would never deserve him ever again.

Not after all what he had done.

Kuro was tainted forever.

He watched what Shiro was doing, as if watching something playing on a screen.

As if he was out of their body.

As if he was someone else and not Kuro.

The first moment he got some reaction was when Lance got the Blue Lion to lower her shield.

Kuro… _saw_.

Voltron.

“Did you see that?” Shiro asked, excited.

Kuro nodded.

“Yeah… What is it?”

Shiro grinned.

“Voltron!”

Kuro grumbled.

Of course that Golden Boy Shiro would be destined to have one of the Lions.

And, of course, he had to go inside a mission to help Keith to get to his own Lion.

Inside a Galra Ship.

Kuro tried to be as out of touch with reality as he could, as far-gone inside he could. He knew that his knowledge could maybe help his brother, but he didn’t want to remember.

Please…

He just wanted to forget!

Please, just let him disappear!

PLEASE!

He had his eyes as tightly closed as possible (metaphorically speaking), but he couldn’t help but feel his brother’s distress.

Kuro felt Shiro’s heart beat faster. It was already beating quickly due to all the adrenaline of the mission, but suddenly, it was beating faster with fear.

Kuro opened his eyes and saw that they were surrounded by sentries.

His most primal core vibrated, hard.

He had to protect his brother.

Kuro took control of their body again. Shiro was taken by surprise and he resisted, causing them to fall to their knees. Kuro grumbled and activated the arm.

He had no time for pleasantries.

He was in control and he attacked the sentries hard and fast.

Sentries were easy to fight and he felt no guilt at destroying them (they were only machines after all).

When he was done, he immediately gave control back to Shiro.

Katie (or Pidge, as she was calling herself now) looked at them, impressed.

\- Shiro, that was amazing! Where did you learn to fight like that?

Shiro frowned and looked at their prosthetic hand.

“Yeah, Kuro, where did you learn to fight like that?” he asked with sarcasm.

Kuro only curled into himself again.

\- No idea. – Shiro answered Katie.

 _Just leave me alone! Please! Forget about me!_ Kuro begged the universe.

His brother was better without him anyway…

However, once again, Voltron seemed to have other ideas.

Kuro didn’t see it, but Shiro presented himself at the place where the Black Lion was, to see if he would be accepted as her pilot.

Oh, but he _heard_ her calling.

Like a drowning sailor listening to a siren, he looked up again, at the same time his brother did.

He _felt_ it.

Her pull.

Her call.

Black was choosing Shiro AND Kuro as her paladins.

Kuro was too weak to say no to that.

How could he say no to that?

That maybe was the second time on their life that they felt like one.

(Keith would always be their first).

Shiro wasted no time to try to talk to him again.

“Kuro, I won’t pretend to know what you’ve been through. But I’m not giving up on you, OK? When this is all over, I’ll do anything I can to help you feel better.”

Kuro swallowed his answer.

He **knew** he should say no to his brother.

He should just push him away to protect Shiro from him.

He knew that.

Oh, but he was just a selfish monster, wasn’t he?

The Champion who only knew how to take, take and take.

He just nodded.

That seemed to be enough answer for Shiro, and he smiled.

They fought together.

They gave everything they could to Black and to Voltron.

Shiro was the motivator and the strategist, and Kuro was the fighter and best pilot.

Together, they were a dream team.

Later that night, before Shiro sneaked into Keith’s bedroom, Kuro talked to him.

“Ok. I’ll help you become the Black Paladin.”

Shiro quirked one eyebrow.

“Don’t you mean ‘we’ will become the Black Paladin?”

Kuro kept his straight face.

“I know what I said. You will be a Paladin of Voltron and I’ll help. But other than that, leave me alone.”

“Kuro…”

“That is my final decision, Shiro.”

“You can’t do this!”

Kuro sighed.

“Go see Keith. He’s probably waiting for you and you know he hates waiting.”

Shiro sat on the bed, arms crossed.

“I’m not leaving until you talk to me! Kuro, please… I need to know what happened to you. I want to help.”

Kuro curled into himself.

“If you want blue balls, suit yourself.”

He sunk into the depths of their mind.

“Kuro! Wait!”

Kuro didn’t listen.

He didn’t deserve someone who cared about him.

He was and would always be tainted.

In the end, Haggar had indeed shaped him like the Champion she wanted.

 


	6. The Black Paladin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language. This story if partially betaed, and there is just one peculiarity before you start reading:  
> \- [Text after dashes] = TALKING (A Romance Language custom)  
> "[Text between quotation marks]" = THE CONVERSATIONS INSIDE SHIRO AND KURO'S HEAD
> 
> Now, to the story!

There was something off about Takashi.

Yes, Keith was aware that his boyfriend had a terrible year in the hands of the Galra. Even if Shiro didn’t remember, all it took was a look at his body to know that he had been through a lot.

Yet, there was something…

Something _weird_ about Takashi that he couldn’t pinpoint.

The worst part was that Keith just didn’t know what was wrong. It was as if a part of Shiro was missing, an important and fundamental part, a part that Keith couldn’t even put into words to describe what it was.

Keith hated the Galra for that. He hated how they took his lover, the most amazing man in the entire universe, and tortured and abused him.

Also, he couldn’t help but notice how distant Shiro was sometimes. Even if they were back together for such a little time, the difference from before was so obvious that it was impossible for Keith not notice.

He was on high alert all the time, always looking over his shoulder even if he didn’t notice that he was doing that, and he for once insisted that Keith keep his dagger under the pillow (a thing that he used to complain about). He had a nightmare the night right after their first time forming Voltron, and he refused to even look at Keith after that. Shiro stood up and said that he was going to finish the night in his room alone.

Keith fought against his own feelings.

It was hard not to feel abandoned again.

But that wasn’t about him.

That was about Takashi.

About the love of his life.

He caught Shiro’s left hand before he could leave.

\- I love you, you know.

Shiro stopped in his tracks with a tense posture and looking towards the door.

\- I never stopped. – Keith continued, pulling the hand towards his lips – Not even for one second. Not even when they declared you dead. I just…

He sighed.

\- I don’t even have words to describe it.

\- I’m not the same man from before the Kerberos mission. – Shiro said, still not looking at him. His right hand was in a fist in front of him, as if to hide its existence from Keith – I’m… broken…

Keith hummed.

\- I know. That’s why I’ll love you even harder.

This time, Shiro turned to look at him in awe.

Keith smiled with tenderness.

\- It’s OK. I’ll kiss it better until you arrange the pieces into something you like. Then I’ll love the new you, just like I loved you before, and just like I love you now. I want to help you in any way I can.

He kissed Shiro’s left hand tenderly, as if to prove a point.

\- I love you, Takashi.

Shiro looked conflicted. He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth. His hand trembled and he pulled it out of Keith’s grasp.

\- I’m sorry, Keith. – he said, turning his back on his boyfriend – I need time.

However, Shiro stopped by the door. Even if he wasn’t looking at Keith, he said:

\- We… we’ll talk in the morning?

He looked unsurely over his shoulder.

Keith beamed.

Baby steps.

He could take baby steps.

\- Sure! I’ll hold you to it.

Shiro seemed to relax a little.

\- I’m sure you will, babycheeks. Goodnight.

After he left, Keith hugged Shiro’s pillow, savoring his smell.

Fuck… he missed that…

He missed everything about Shiro like hell.

Even if his beloved wasn’t feeling like himself, he wasn’t pushing Keith away.

There was a lot of hope there.

Things would get better, Keith just needed to have patience.

He chuckled.

 _Patience yields focus_ , as Shiro liked to say, and his beloved deserved that and more.

Oh, so much more…

As many nights that he spent alone, Keith pulled a small necklace out from under his T-shirt.

It was just a black string holding a ring.

Yeah, Keith had found Shiro’s ring a week after the announcement of the pilot error. He’d had it with him all the time.

He kissed the ring before adjusting himself to fall back sleep, using his boyfriend’s abandoned pillow.

He hoped…

He hoped he could talk to Shiro about that. To see if he still wanted to ask him that question.

Not now, though.

Shiro needed to heal a little first.

For now, he would hide the ring.

That was OK.

Keith would give his beloved all the time he needed.

Because Keith already knew what his answer was.

(Yes).

 

* * *

 

\- Kuro, we HAVE to talk!

Kuro just whined.

\- One thing is to ignore me, but another is to treat Keith like that!

No answer.

Shiro pulled at his hair in frustration.

If there was one word to describe how Shiro had been feeling since he woke up in Keith’s bed, it would be frustration.

Frustration.

Utter frustration.

He couldn't find a single cell in their body to hate his brother for making him sleep for almost a whole year. He also couldn't hate Kuro for whatever he had done in order to survive that year, whatever it was. Not when Kuro was so visibly hurt and traumatized, not when their body bore the marks of all the terrible things that Kuro went through alone.

Not when Shiro had woken just once in that terrible year, with a high fever and a lost limb.

Kuro bore too much, more than what any one person should have to bear, and there was nothing Shiro wanted more than to alleviate the weight on his brother’s shoulders.

Shiro knew his brother. He knew how important it was for him to protect them. That was part of who Kuro was. That was why, even if he just about gave up control over their body to Shiro completely, he would still be on high alert all the time. Always ready to assume control in case of any danger, even if they were safe inside the castle walls.

He couldn't blame Kuro for giving in to his tender and selfless nature.

What Shiro couldn't stand was to see the terrible state Kuro was in, and yet not being able to do a thing because his brother was stubborn as a mule. It was a horrible feeling to see someone that he loved suffering so much, and not be able to do a thing.

Shiro was already feeling terrible and helpless for not being able to help, but it was even more frustrating to see that was affecting Kuro’s relationship with Keith too.

Shiro sighed.

\- I saw it, you know…

Sometimes the brothers could share a few things. Sometimes it was voluntary, like some non-shared memories that they decided to show, other times it was by accident, like dreams or, in this case, nightmares.

That night, Shiro saw a huge coliseum arena, with a bloodthirsty crowd cheering them on. They were bleeding. It was their third fight of the night and they were still sending more opponents against them. Kuro was scared to death, but he had no option but to fight and fight and fight… They woke up when a snake-like alien bite their leg. Their fangs seemed to be poisoned, for their leg hurt like hell.

The bite had been in the same place where they now have two piercing scars on their right calf.

Kuro had taken control of the body immediately after waking up, as if to protect them from an aggression or threat. Then he ran from the room they were sharing with Keith.

\- Was that a dream - Shiro asked quietly - or a memory?

Kuro seemed to curl up even more. Shiro could feel that he was holding back tears.

\- It doesn't matter. Forget about it, Shiro.

\- Heck no, Kuro! You’re pushing Keith away! KEITH, of all people!

\- You can apologize to him in the morning if you want.

\- Or we can go back now and -

\- Don't you dare go back there! - Kuro snarled.

Shiro’s eyes widened.

He could barely remember when was the last time Kuro had snapped at him like that.

(It was when they were six, the first time they interacted. After that, they had been together in brotherhood.)

Shiro stared at Kuro in astonishment through his reflection on the window.

Kuro stared back.

His reflection morphed into regret. He curled back up at the back of their mind. He was crying.

\- I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

He sobbed twice, before retreating to the depths of their mind and stopped answering Shiro altogether.

Shiro wiped away the physical tears on his face that Kuro had left.

Damn… The situation must be worse than what he had imagined…

What the heck should he do?

It didn’t help at all that Kuro had another terrifying nightmare that same night. Instead of going back to sleep, he put their armor on and started to exercise as if there would be a threat at any moment.

 

* * *

 

It didn’t help at all that Allura tested both the alarm system and  the Paladins that morning.

Kuro was ready to bite her head off.

How dare that bitch act like she was their boss?

“Kuro, calm down,” Shiro said to him. “She’s only trying to help. There’s no need to call her names.”

Kuro grumbled and curled up moodily back at the back of their mind.

Shiro assumed control for the most part while they were trying to assemble Voltron and for that first day of training.

He was a natural. Shiro was capable of bonding with Black magnificently.

They fought as one.

And Kuro?

Kuro was proud of his brother, yes, but it almost hurt to feel his bond with Black.

He always knew that Shiro was meant for great things, while he was just a stone dragging him down.

Why couldn’t he just disappear?

Kuro could feel Black grumbling at him in a very lion-like fashion.

 _Piss off!_ – he thought back to the lion.

Black grumbled in disapproval.

Great. Even the lion knew how stupid he was.

The day couldn’t get any worse.

(Of course, he was wrong).

 

* * *

 

“KEEP THEM AWAY FROM MY MIND!” Kuro had shouted at him as soon as Coran explained how that part of the training worked.

Connecting their minds.

Seeing everything.

Being completely open.

“But Kuro-”

“KEEP THEM OUT!”

Shiro was about to argue, but he noticed how Kuro was about to start panicking. He looked like a cornered animal, ready to attack or to chew his own leg off to get free.

Shiro tried to act as soothing as he could.

“Ok… Ok… I’m going to keep them out.”

Kuro still seemed to be on the verge of a meltdown, clinging onto his own mind and memories.

“Easy… Easy…” Shiro said softly, while clearing his mind as if meditation. However, instead of keeping his mind clear, he hummed an old lullaby, one that he used to sing to Kuro every night after finding him hurt again.

He could feel Kuro relax a little, just a few inches.

It was enough for Shiro, though.

Any opening was a good opening.

He sang, while focusing on helping Kuro feel protected.

Shiro could feel the presence of the others in his mind. It was similar to sharing his mindspace with Kuro, so he was in his element. He had seventeen years of training for that (since he and his brother split into two). Keeping Kuro secure would be easy, and it would probably pass unnoticed if none of the others tried to look inside their head.

However, there was Keith.

In a gentle, but firm way, Shiro could feel Keith trying to pry into his mind, like careful fingers combing through Shiro’s thoughts. He intensified his singing, focusing on that to keep a strong barrier between Kuro and Keith. Keith intensified his efforts, his mind as focused as Shiro’s.

With some astonishment, Shiro realized that HE had trained Keith’s mind to be that strong, with his meditation and advice in general.

Damn.

He would be impressed if it wasn’t the fact that he was the opponent Keith had decided to fight against.

(It didn’t help at all that Lance and Hunk had stopped to “look” at their encounter).

It took everything he had. Keith was very insistent. His abilities were a little crude when compared to Shiro’s, but he was a fast learner and very persistent.

\- Come on, everyone, clear everything. – Coran said softly – Now, focus on forming your Lion.

Even with having to form his Lion, Keith was still relentless.

Shiro was now truly regretting having taught his boyfriend how to focus.

Under normal circumstances, since Shiro had more experience in that area, it would have been easy to push Keith’s mind away gently. However, he had to protect Kuro, avoid letting the others any glimpses at his brother, AND form Voltron. Juggling all these was taking the best of him.

Damn! That was not good…

His only luck was the fact that Katie was so unfocused that she was getting in the way of forming Voltron. And if there was something that Keith loathed, it was having someone stalling a job.

\- Pidge, stop thinking of your girlfriend!

The annoyance gave Shiro enough time to rebuild his defences for a new prying from his boyfriend. Which was good because he did try again.

Again, Pidge was so unfocused that it gave him an excuse to escape from Keith’s attention.

\- Okay. Let's take a break. – he said aloud.

Keith narrowed his eyes at him, but said nothing. He relaxed though, when Shiro held his hand.

Crisis averted…

…for now.

 

* * *

 

Keith leaned on Shiro while resting, still intrigued.

Why would his boyfriend be so adamant about keeping him and the others away from his mind?

Shiro was capable of keeping his mind focused enough to avoid prying eyes and to form Voltron at the same time, but why would he do that?

What was he trying to hide?

Why would he try to hide something from Keith?

Shiro acted normally, with that an easy and encouraging smile that he had worn since they started training, as if he hadn’t had a mental confrontation with Keith minutes prior.

Keith narrowed his eyes, staring at the back of Shiro’s head while they prepared for Allura’s next task.

What was his beloved hiding?

 

* * *

 

Combat training.

Kuro tried to keep his focus.

That was easy.

There was no real danger.

Just combat exercise.

Just exercise.

Kuro saw the others being thrown like rag dolls. The only one besides him who would have a decent chance would be Keith, but the gladiator robot knocked him out using Lance.

It was up to him, he guessed.

Kuro was in position. It would be an easy defence that would give the others the necessary time to stand and help him.

However, when he stared at the gladiator robot, he didn’t see the Altean robot.

He saw Galra guards.

Marching towards him.

They would drag him back to Haggar’s operation table.

_Please, god… no… no! no! no!_

His mind was frazzled and lost within a thick haze.

He couldn’t hear his own brother screaming to him in the midst of the static.

“Kur- …. -ease! Com-… -ak! …ot real!”

Oh, but Kuro was panicking.

He was hyperventilating and frozen in place. He was cold, sweating and terrified.

A red being intercepted the guards’ first blow.

He couldn’t hear what Keith was saying.

_Oh, god! Please no! Please! PLEASE!_

Kuro came back to his senses when the gladiator threw Keith on top of him.

Keith’s smell grounded him back to reality again.

He wasn’t a prisoner of the Galra anymore.

He was safe.

He was fine.

He was OK.

He was OK.

He was OK.

“Breathe, Kuro,” Shiro instructed. “Slowly, OK?”

Kuro did as he was told, but he still felt on edge.

Ready to snap.

 

* * *

 

After FINALLY being able to form Voltron, Allura and Coran were expecting them in the Castle’s main hall. They were smiling. The princess started to talk to them.

\- Well done, paladins! Now, if you follow me, there is one last training exer-

\- Haven’t we done enough!? – Shiro interrupted her with a rude snarl and punching the wall for good measure.

Keith’s eyes widened in surprise.

What the hell?

Shiro’s expression was angry for one moment, like an angry wolf ready for an attack. All the others stared at him.

Then his anger just… disappeared?

Like a flip of a switch.

He sighed.

\- Sorry, princess. I guess we are all tired and we should leave something for tomorrow.

His expression was tired, but sympathetic and friendly.

As if all that anger had never existed to begin with.

Allura recovered fast with a nod and a guilty smile.

\- You are probably right, Shiro. I’m sorry, I’m just really worried with all the people that need Voltron.

\- I understand, princess. – he nodded and gave a small smile – We are all worried too. But if we are exhausted we won’t be able to do a thing.

She nodded again.

\- Indeed. So, let’s take a break. We continue tomorrow.

Lance, Pidge and Hunk groaned.

Keith narrowed his eyes and started at Shiro.

What the fuck was that all about?

 

* * *

 

_I’m fine._

Kuro kept repeating to himself and sometimes to Shiro.

He was FINE.

\- Takashi?

Keith was at their bedroom door with soft eyes.

Fuck… it should be illegal for anyone to have such beautiful blue eyes.

\- Are you all right?

Shiro smiled at him and Kuro looked away.

It hurt to look at Keith.

He was once again the forbidden fruit. This time, however, instead of the issue of him being Shiro’s boyfriend, it was Kuro who had an inherent wrong.

Inherent bad.

Inherent broken.

He didn’t deserve Keith.

\- I’m ok, baby. Just tired.

\- Hum. Maybe we can find a way to relax you.

Shiro chuckled.

\- Oh? What do you have in mind, baby?

Keith walked towards them with a small smirk.

\- Oh, I don’t know… why don’t you tell me, _sir_?

Kuro froze again.

Just imagining squeezing Keith’s neck with that filthy Galra hand made him sick.

Just the thought of TOUCHING Keith in a sexual way, with his hands full of innocents’ blood made him sick.

“Please… no…”

“Kuro! Kuro breathe! Breathe, dammit!”

\- Shiro?

Kuro took a few deep breaths.

He couldn’t.

He would harm Keith.

He couldn’t touch him.

Ever.

“Kuro… that is not true…”

Kuro curled into himself with a snarl.

“Fuck off, Shiro.”

\- Takashi?

Keith was touching their face.

Kuro ignored him.

He didn't even paid attention to whatever lie Shiro had told their beloved.

He tuned out of the conversation.

He should just disappear…

Nobody needed a monster in their lives.

 

* * *

 

Shiro was just as excited as Pidge to talk to the prisoners they freed from Sendak’s ship.

Kuro was NOT talking to him.

He was snarling at him and avoiding him.

That had never happened before.

All his life, Shiro was used to having Kuro with him.

They share a body, a mind, a soul…

To not be able to count on his brother for anything was killing him, and not being able to do a thing was what hurts the most. It was terrible to see someone he loved so much in such pain, and being denied even the possibility to help.

Shiro was created to help Kuro.

Not being able to do so was destroying him day by day.

Keith was suffering with Kuro’s absence too. That was obvious by the way he would gently, but insistently, ask to submit. Shiro loved Keith and Keith seemed content with what they had; however, Keith also loved his brother.

He needed both to be happy, and both brothers needed to be with Keith to be at peace.

If Kuro was refusing to help, any clue about what happened to him during that year was good information, if that would provide Shiro with the means to alleviate Kuro's guilt. Shiro remembered very little, but what he remembered was already fuel for terrible nightmares. He needed more information.

The tale Xi told him about the “Champion” made the hair at Shiro’s nape stand in fright.

\- You really don't remember? Unbelievable! You were a legendary gladiator, undefeated in the ring. You defeated an infamous Galra gladiator known as Myzax. That was the day you earned the name "Champion". I was there, as was the young Earthling.

They stared straight at Shiro.

\- You were so thirsty for blood, you injured your fellow Earthling.

_What?_

Katie turned to him with anger.

\- You attacked my brother? Why?!

“Kuro, what did you do to Matt?!”

Kuro only whined.

\- No... it can't be true. – Shiro said aloud.

“Kuro, please explain! Please!”

Oh, but his brother kept his mouth shut.

 

* * *

 

Would Kuro’s days of supporting his brother as the Black Paladin that tiring?

He was exhausted.

He had to relive some memories that he didn’t want to, in order to save them from that Robeast.

Worse than that, his brother had seen what he had done in the Arena and Pidge thought that he was a monster that attacked Matt.

He couldn’t…

He couldn’t blemish Shiro’s reputation like that.

Not with their team.

With some shock Kuro realized what he had thought.

‘Their’ team.

He shook his head.

No, that was not right.

They were _Shiro’s_ team.

Not his.

(Never his.)

There was still the reputation issue.

Fuck…

“I need control,” he informed Shiro.

Shiro raised one eyebrow.

“Why?”

Kuro grumbled.

“Do you want to know what happened to Matt or not?”

Wide-eyed, Shiro let him take the wheel.

Well, Kuro had only one shot to make things right with Katie.

Finding her was not difficult.

The hard part was to bear the sad and betrayed look in her eyes.

\- Why would you hurt my brother? You were friends…

Kuro sighed.

\- I did it to save him.

He could feel Shiro’s interest piquing.

Pidge’s eyes widened.

\- What?

Kuro pretended to know less than what he actually did.

\- My memory of the event came back when we were fighting the monster. Your dad was being sent off with the weaker prisoners to a work camp. Meanwhile, Matt and I were forced to fight in the gladiator Arena. Matt was going to fight first, but he was scared. We all were…

He told Pidge and grudgingly showed Shiro the memory of his first fight.

Katie had tears in her eyes when he finished.

\- You saved him? You attacked him so they would choose you instead… - she hugged him tightly - I'm so sorry I doubted you! Thank you! Thank you so much!

Kuro was taken back for one moment.

It felt…

It felt good.

For one moment he didn’t feel like a monster.

Shiro was beaming inside their shared mindspace.

“I’m proud of you.”

Kuro looked down.

“I attacked Matt.”

“No, Kuro, you _protected_ Matt.”

Kuro was positive that Shiro had picked that word on purpose, that he was using his Silver-tongue ability on him.

But…

For one moment…

Just for a short time…

Kuro allowed himself to fall into that sweet spell.

 

* * *

 

Shiro was pleased with how Kuro was opening up more after talking about Matt.

Baby steps.

Shiro could work with baby steps.

He smiled.

Stimulating his brother, helping him to see his own worth and value, that was what Shiro lived for. Of course, he wished that it would go a little bit faster, especially because of their beloved Keith.

It was clear as day to Shiro that Keith was missing Kuro. He was enjoying their sweet and vanilla romance and sex, and he seemed to have accepted Shiro’s half lie that he wasn't ready to be a Dom yet. However, Shiro couldn't say for sure and it killed him that the two people he loved most in his life were suffering and he couldn't do a thing.

Also, he was positive that being a Dominant again could help his brother even more. However, Kuro was stubborn as a mule and had refused to even try, much to Shiro’s chagrin.

Kuro was still refusing to interpret people’s intentions and that made Shiro realize how dependent on his brother’s ability he was. He was unsure of how deep Keith's hurt run, even if he knew Keith.

Thus, he was glad that Kuro was starting to improve.

Maybe he could convince him to have a gentler scene with Keith.

Yeah… that could work.

Shiro was just idly watching while Kuro was checking the perimeter during the ball for the Arusians. Kuro was grumbling in their shared mindspace.

“Stupid princess… all worried about the Galra and yet leaving the castle wide open! For fuck’s sake…”

Shiro sighed.

He had to work on Kuro’s relations with the rest of Team Voltron too.

“Stop talking as if I'm one of your science projects, bro!”

Shiro chuckled.

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just amusing to see you pacing.”

“You’re not going to find it amusing WHEN ZARKON INVADE THE CASTLE!”

“You mean ‘if’?”

“Did I fucking stutter? I fucking know what I fucking said!”

“Ok, ok! Easy, Kuro, easy.”

Kuro was grumbling when Pidge approached them to talk about leaving.

(Kuro was as pissed as Keith was about that. Shiro cringed. Great, now he had to deal with two hot-headed loners. Why must his two favorite people be like that?)

 

* * *

 

Shiro refused to tell Keith what Sendak had done to him while he was captive during the period the Galra General had taken over the Castle of Lions.

This time, Keith lost his cool.

\- We need to talk.

Shiro gave him an apologetic smile.

\- Yeah, baby?

\- Why the fuck are you so distant!?

\- Keith I’m not -

\- DON’T LIE TO ME!

Keith glared at his boyfriend with a snarl on his lips.

He was frustrated and hurt.

He really tried not to feel like that.

He did.

However, it still hurt like hell.

Almost as if part of Shiro was absent.

Part of him was being denied to Keith.

And it hurt.

Fuck! It hurt…

\- Ever since you came back, you’ve been hiding something! Hiding something from me! You lie that you’re OK as if that would fool me, and you know what? IT DOESN’T!

He still glared at Shiro, with his fists clenched.

\- How can you expect Voltron to work if you keep away the people who want to help you!? How can you expect US to happen if you keep me out!?

Keith was still glaring at his boyfriend when it happened.

In one moment he was staring at him wide-eyed and astonished…

… in the next, his expression was furious and feral.

The shift was abrupt.

There was no build up.

As if Shiro had flipped a switch inside himself and shifted his emotions completely.

Keith had been seeing that happen a lot, but only with smaller things.

What the fuck was that?

He had no time to think any deeper about that before Shiro glared back.

\- You have NO IDEA what I’ve been through!

\- Of course I don’t! YOU WON’T TALK TO ME!

\- YOU’RE A STUPID CHILD THAT CAN’T GRASP SERIOUS THEMES!

\- WHAT DID YOU FUCKING SAY!?

\- You. Are. A. CHILD! You didn’t even had the MATURITY to deal with my death!

\- You don’t know what happened!

\- Oh, but knowing your immaturity, I KNOW you are incapable of processing anything beyond things you can PUNCH!

Keith stabbed Shiro’s chest with a finger.

\- Don’t you DARE TO SAY THAT TO ME! YOU DON’T KNOW HALF OF WHAT THEY SAID!

Shiro laughed cruelly.

\- They probably held a symbolic funeral and you were an immatur-

\- THEY SAID IT WAS YOUR FAULT!

Shiro stopped mid-sentence with a frown.

Keith continued, like a dam had broken inside him.

\- THEY LIED, SAYING THAT IT WAS YOUR FAULT, THAT IT WAS A PILOT ERROR! How THE FUCK did you expected me not to defend YOU!? I did that FOR YOU!

Keith stared at him, panting.

Shiro had an unreadable serious expression on his face.

\- So you threw away your own future for a disgraced, lousy pilot.

Keith felt his world falling apart under his feet.

Those words…

Those words were worse than if Shiro had punched him.

It hurt.

He couldn’t put into words what he was feeling.

It was a hard feeling.

And it hurt.

His eyes were suddenly full of tears.

He looked at the ground, trying to save some of his dignity.

\- …get out.

\- Oh, you can’t stand the tru-

\- GET OUT!

He raised his head again and he couldn’t hold the tears anymore.

Shiro’s angry expression fell away with surprise. As if he wasn’t expecting Keith to break like that.

\- Babycheeks -

\- GET OUT! GET OUT! **GET OUT!**

He pushed Shiro out of the room seconds before he broke.

Keith fell on his knees right after closing the door.

He cried his eyes out.

Maybe…

Maybe Shiro was right?

Look at him: crying like a damn baby because he couldn’t deal with the changes in his beloved.

What a joke.

 

* * *

 

“Shiro! Shiro, please! You have to fix this!”

Kuro begged his brother in their shared mindspace.

He was answered with a coldness he had never experienced before. At least, not coming from Shiro.

“How dare you?”

“I wasn’t thinking, I just-”

“How DARE you? You just hurt the most precious person in the whole universe, and all because you are a major ass.”

“I didn’t mean-”

“Oh, don’t lie to me, Kuro. You knew fully well that your words would cut deep into him.”

Kuro felt ashamed.

Disgusting and repulsive.

A _monster_.

He tried to fight that feeling with his metaphorical fists.

“I didn’t attack his main insecurities!”

“Oh, how noble of you.” Shiro glared. “You did a number on him.”

“He should have backed off! It is his fault!”

He could feel Shiro narrowing his eyes with cold anger.

“You know what, Kuro? Go fuck yourself.”

Kuro’s eyes widen. He was completely thunderstruck.

Shiro never swore for no reason.

To hear his brother, the sweetest Boy Scout, swearing at him was the sign that he made a HUGE mistake.

With great horror, he felt Shiro settling down at the back of their mind, as far away from the control of the body as he could.

“No! You have to talk to him! He can’t stay like that for long!”

Shiro (metaphorically) glared at him again.

“Fix your own problems for once. I’m sick and tired of having to deal with everything without help since we came back.”

And he didn’t answer him anymore, no matter how much Kuro pleaded and begged him to fix the situation.

 

* * *

 

Shiro watched from a very privileged seat as his brother went to the training deck the next day.

Keith was furiously destroying gladiator after gladiator.

\- Hum… can we talk, Keith?

Keith glared.

\- Start training level two.

A new gladiator fell.

Oh, he was angry…

And if Shiro was perfectly honest, his brother deserved all that.

\- Babycheeks, please… I don’t want us to stay like this…

Keith continued to fight.

\- Please, Keith…

Keith groaned and shouted.

\- End training sequence!

Then he turned to Kuro with a very expressive glare. He had some new tears in his eyes that he refused to let fall due to his anger.

Shiro had to fight very hard to not just take over their body and try to comfort his beloved Keith. It pained him to see him like that.

\- I am NOT immature for defending you and your memory!

\- Of course that you aren’t, babycheeks… I’m really sorry… I shouldn’t have said that.

Keith groaned.

\- That is the problem, Shiro! I don’t know how to deal with you! Sometimes s you’re just like as you were before, and then some other times I don’t recognize you anymore!

Shiro felt Kuro cringe.

“Shiro, please, help.”

He (metaphorically) glared at his brother.

“Fix your own damn problems.”

Kuro looked away from Keith’s accusative and sad blue eyes.

\- I’m… I’m sorry, Keith… I wish… I wish I wasn’t… wasn’t…

He sighed.

\- I wish I wasn’t so… _broken_ that I hurt you with my edges.

\- Just tell me what is wrong! Please! Don’t shut me out like that!

Shiro sighed.

“He just want to be part of your life again, Kuro. Are you going to keep hurting him like that?”

“Shiro… I can’t. I just can’t let him see…”

“See what? That you had been tortured and hurt?” He sighed again. “He will understand.”

Kuro sighed with their body.

\- I’m so sorry… I never meant to hurt you, Keith. I… - he sighed again to steel his resolution – I love you **_so_ ** much…

Keith sniffed. He tried to fight against the tears, but it was in vain.

Kuro walked towards him and hugged him tightly. He was crying too.

\- I’m here, babycheeks. I’m here.

They cried together while hugging each other.

Shiro sighed from his point of view.

As tender as the scene was, and although Kuro was admitting that he still loved Keith, those were steps too small to have a enough result to comfort Keith. He could handle baby steps, but he was worried that Keith couldn’t, not after one year of mourning and loss.

The problem was that he didn’t know what to do yet to make his brother just _be_ there for Keith in the way Keith needed.

He needed his Dominant, who was _still_ missing in action.

He was already preparing a huge lecture for Kuro, trying to explore every simple gap and weak spot he could to convince him to just embrace that side of him again when Kuro opened his mouth slowly and said quietly.

\- You… you are a good kitten.

Shiro was speechless.

Keith sucked in a breath and held Kuro even tightly.

\- Thank you, sir… - he answered quietly.

Kuro kept repeating the sentence from time to time while the two of them clung to each other.

Shiro smiled.

Maybe there was hope after all…

 

* * *

 

Sendak’s words still haunted Kuro.

_I'm impressed that you managed to escape. Perhaps it would be worth the trip to your planet to see if the rest of your kind have your spirit. – Sendak chuckled - Of course, they will all end up broken, just like you. Now that we have Voltron, every planet, every race, all share the same fate._

Broken.

The whole Empire knew about that.

Was he a joke?

Was it common knowledge how damaged he was?

Kuro wished Ulaz had told him more about the Galra. However, his only ally had been with him for less than five minutes. Kuro still didn't believe him, though.

He was no leader.

He was no hero.

Sendak made sure to remind him of that.

He was just a broken monster.

He didn’t deserve to be there.

He didn’t deserve Keith’s attention or love (and he shouldn’t have encouraged that, even if it was to make Keith feel better).

He didn’t deserve Shiro’s dedication (and he regretted all the small slips he made that could give him any hope. There was no hope).

Kuro wished his brother wouldn't be so adamant about finding out what happened.

Just… let that go…

Let that damaged part of Takashi Shirogane die and disappear.

Please.

He watched, while Shiro stayed for hours, waiting for Sendak’s memories to be uploaded.

“Shiro, just let it go…”

“Nope!”

At least Shiro had forgiven him after he apologized to Keith.

It killed him to have either of them angry with him for any reason, even if he knew he should get out of the picture.

Still, it made Kuro feel bad to see his brother concentrating so hard on finding out about his captivity.

“Just let the past rest…”

“No, Kuro.”

That seemed to make Shiro annoyed, for he spoke with the dormant Galra.

\- I know you're in there, Sendak. I know you have all the answers. Give them to me.

“Bro…”

“Kuro, I’m not giving up.”

Kuro sighed.

“If you are going to negotiate with a Galra, niceties like that won’t work.”

He could feel Shiro smiling.

“So you’re going to help me?”

“No. It’s too ridiculous to see you deal with a Galra as if they were one of the officers at the Garrison.” Kuro deadpanned.

“OK, so how about this?”

Shiro slammed his fist against the glass.

\- You're a broken soldier! You can't hold out forever!

Kuro felt a shiver run down his spine.

Why the fuck was Shiro talking about broken soldiers?

How…?

Shiro smirked when a memory entered the storage vessel.

\- So, you can hear me.

He noticed Kuro’s distress.

“Kuro…?”

“How did you… HOW?!”

Shiro lowered his head.

“I was… I was awake that time…”

Kuro felt a shiver on his spine.

As soon as he was captured by Sendak, he gave the command for Shiro to sleep.

He didn’t want his brother to deal with the Galra. Shiro didn't deserve that. Shiro _wouldn't_ support that! The Galra were vicious creatures!

Oh, but the worst part was knowing that his brother heard the truth about him.

“Kuro… you aren't broken.”

“Shut up!”

Kuro felt on edge. The fear that a person that he loved so much had seen his wicked side was enough to already paralyze him.

“Come on, Kuro. Take a deep breath.” Shiro cooed. “It’s OK… It’s OK…”

Kuro realized suddenly that he had control of the body, much to his annoyance.

He did what Shiro requested, though, and took three deep breaths before handing back control.

Shiro smiled.

“It wasn't so bad, huh?”

Kuro glared.

“Don't do it again.”

His brother sighed.

“Kuro, one last chance to tell me about what happened to you and information on the Galra Empire and Zarkon on your own terms.”

Kuro looked away.

“There’s nothing you need to know. Just punch them until they die then set the corpse on fire.”

Shiro rolled his eyes.

“Stop being so dramatic.”

Kuro grumbled and stared at the situation warily.

The fact that Shiro had heard what Sendak had said to him and the fact that apparently Sendak could hear them, even while asleep, made him really concerned.

 

* * *

 

Since Kuro was quiet and moping _again_ , Shiro decided to interrogate Sendak. Maybe that would get the right memories extracted sooner?

He was really getting bored there, even with all his patience.

\- What was the first rank you held in Zarkon's army?

No new memory.

\- Where did you find the Red Lion?

Damn! He NEEDED to know that one. It was Keith’s Lion after all, so the origins of how they got her was important.

Kuro grumbled in annoyance.

That didn’t stop Shiro.

\- What’s Zarkon's greatest weakness?

He frowned at the asleep general.

Suddenly, he felt his heartbeat accelerate and heard a faint whisper. He didn’t know exactly what it said. Kuro was restless again.

“Kuro, are you OK?”

“I’m fine!” he replied, in a surly tone.

“Ok! Jeez… Sorry for asking.”

Since Kuro was OK (or at least he said he was OK), Shiro continued with his inquiry.

\- If you were to attack Zarkon, where would you strike?

Once again, that faint whisper.

Shiro remembered that the last time Kuro had a flashback he heard something like that too, except it sounded more like heavy footsteps. Now it seemed more like words, but words he couldn’t hear.

His heartbeat was picking up and shivers were running down his spine in fear.

Oh, but that wasn’t because of Shiro.

Kuro was starting to panic again. His emotions were so strong and uncontrollable that he was starting to take over their body without even noticing, as if he was answering a real threat.

Shiro felt himself get pushed aside when Kuro started to hyperventilate.

\- No! I'm not like you!

“Kuro! Kuro, listen to me! It’s all right! Whatever you are hearing it is not real!”

He didn’t seem to be able to hear Shiro.

\- That's not me!

“Come back! Kuro! Kuro, please!”

The whispers…

With horror, Shiro realized that Kuro was probably hallucinating. He was answering to Sendak, even if he was asleep and not responding.

“Kuro! That’s not real! Kuro!”

\- I'm not listening to you!

“Kuro, I’m begging you! Breathe, please! Kuro, PLEASE!”

Kuro’s panic was so great and so hard that Shiro could make some sense of the words on that final whisper.

\- _…a monster like you could be a Voltron Paladin?_

Was that what his brother had been listening in his head?

Was that what Kuro thought about himself?

\- STOP IT!

Kuro punched the glass with their metal hand.

The glass cracked but Kuro was still hyperventilating and in distress.

He fell on his knees and, in panic, he triggered the command to eject Sendak’s capsule.

“KURO, NO!”

Kuro didn’t listen.

He punched the button.

Kuro was still on his knees with shallow breaths. His heart was beating as if he was running a marathon, he was trembling and breaking out in a cold sweat.

Shiro felt his heart constrict at seeing his brother, one of the most important people in his life, suffering like that. Even if they had lost Sendak, his little brother’s wellbeing was more important.

“Breathe, Kuro…” he said gently.

This time, Kuro seemed to listen to him, for he forced a long breath into his lungs.

“Yeah… just like that… In… and Out… In… and Out… Slow… You’re doing amazing, Kuro…”

Even if Sendak was their only clue about the Galra Empire, he couldn’t find one cell in his body or one piece of his soul to be angry with his brother. Not when Kuro was so distressed, not when what he was possibly hearing made him feel like a monster.

“You are not a monster.”

Kuro cried.

\- SHUT UP, SHIRO!

Shiro’s heart broke every time his brother pushed him away.

“Oh, Kuro…”

 

* * *

 

That night Shiro tried to eat alone in the kitchen. When Hunk suggested that he eat with the others on the dining room, he snapped at him.

\- Don’t tell me what the fuck to do!

They were all surprised by that outburst.

How could Shiro snap like that, and with Hunk of all people?

Hunk! The sweetest person on the ship!

Keith’s eyes were wide in astonishment.

Shiro seemed SO angry and tense…

… and suddenly he was apologetic and friendly again.

Like flipping a switch.

That was no normal transition.

\- I’m sorry Hunk… That thing with Sendak… It really stressed me out.

Hunk nodded before sighing and smiling.

\- It’s OK, Shiro. Everybody has a breaking point, I guess.

Shiro agreed to eat with them and he was pleasant the rest of the night. He kissed Keith sweetly and hugged him tightly to sleep.

Keith’s mind, however, was restless.

Hot and Cold and then Cold and Hot again…

Was that something the Galra had done to Takashi?

Have they broken his beloved so deeply, to the point that even his mind was fragmented?

Keith frowned.

No…

That was not right…

That… That was not the Galra’s doing.

He didn’t know how he knew that, but he was positive that _that_ was not created by the Galra.

He wanted to find the answer, but he was exhausted. Keith was positive that he had more pieces of that puzzle, but he just didn’t know what they were.

What was the puzzle after all?

Even if his mind was awake, his body was tired and it was dragging the mind with it to the dream world.

However, right before falling asleep, a thought occurred to Keith.

 _Baby and Babycheeks_.

What was the difference between those two?

Why was he called by two different things?

Keith stored that in his mind for later. It seemed important.

(He had a nightmare that night. The same damn nightmare as ever. Why can’t he just forget and leave the past behind!? He had more important things to worry than… _that_! Why couldn’t the past just leave him alone?)

 

* * *

 

Kuro minimized the time he spent in control of the body as best as he could.

Most of the time, he felt as if he was away from his own mind, floating and twisting like a leaf in the midst of a hurricane.

He had no control.

Not at all.

Maybe Sendak was right, and he was just a monster slave to the Empire…

“KURO, CUT THE CRAP!” Shiro shouted in their shared mindspace. “You are NO monster and NO slave! You are a strong and brave man and I’m going to punch whoever say otherwise, including you!”

He really appreciated his brother’s enthusiasm, but he knew better.

Kuro was beyond salvation.

That knowledge made him feel on edge most of the time.

Even the slightest shadow was capable of making him jump.

“KURO!”

He stopped paying attention to his brother.

He snapped at people.

He knew he couldn’t, but he was also startled.

He was sorry.

He was sorry, but he bore the guilt without shedding a tear.

Monsters don’t deserve to cry after all.

 

* * *

 

Shiro was going to get more white hairs just from pure and utter frustration.

WHY WAS HIS BROTHER SO PIG-HEADED THAT HE JUST WOULDN’T ACCEPT HELP!?

At least he helped with the physical parts and with his fast reflexes/instincts. Oh, but the erratic way his emotions manifested during those moments were disconcerting. It was either furious and scared or completely apathetic.

It didn’t help at all that Allura sacrificed herself to save them.

Kuro’s emotions went ballistic.

“We have to save her!”

“Kuro, that isn’t the best approach. Keith is right. We'll be delivering the universe's only hope to Zarkon on a silver platter.”

“HOW CAN YOU BE THAT INSENSITIVE!?”

“Hey, easy! Easy! I’m on your side! And so is Keith!”

He felt his brother breathing deeply.

Kuro was on the verge of collapse, and Coran’s accusations weren’t helping the situation.

It seemed like there was nothing Shiro could do to calm Kuro down but bring Allura back.

It was weird to think that, for someone who called her a bitch so many times, Kuro really cared for the Princess.

(For all of the team really. Both of them were team players. They had many years of practice after all).

Shiro sighed.

“That’s a bad idea, but if I convince them to get her, will you promise to let me help you?”

Kuro (metaphorically) nodded.

“I’ll do anything! Just bring her back! Please!”

Shiro sighed.

It looks like he’d become the devil making deals, huh?

(At least he wouldn’t ask for Kuro’s soul. It still feel pretty shitty to use that against him later but he had no choice.)

Shiro stared at the people in the room. His eyes stopped on Keith.

Keith was staring at him.

 _I’m sorry Keith_ … - he thought before saying.

\- Let's focus. How are we going to get Allura?

Keith’s eyes narrowed at first.

Then they were wide, as if he had just had a big revelation.

He quietly obeyed Shiro’s commands after that, but Shiro knew him:

There was something on Keith’s mind.

(Kuro saw that too. He was scared about that, but he didn’t give Shiro the details, which only made things worse).

 

* * *

 

Zarkon laughed at the brothers, when he was connected to their mind through the Black Lion.

“You cannot fight it. Your connection is weak.”

And Kuro knew it was all his fault.

He was not worthy to be the Black Paladin.

He never was.

He just… gave up…

Just let his body drift away.

He never deserved to live anyway.

“NO!”

Shiro shouted and took control of the body.

He tried to turn on the jetpack, but he didn’t have the same reflexes or coordination as Kuro. Thus, Shiro crashed against Zarkon’s ship on his back, breaking the jetpack.

He glared towards where Black was. There was a steely determination in his soul. It burned like phoenix fire.

“I’m going to get our lion back.”

“Shiro…”

“Kuro, we are a TEAM! There is no me if there isn’t a you! Even if you’ve given up on yourself, I haven’t! We need to stay together! We need to work together! The universe depends on us! Black chose US, not only me! If I have to carry you and the weight of the universe on my shoulders, then I’ll gladly do it. But our best shot to save Allura and Coran, to save Matt and Sam, to save Pidge, Lance and Hunk, to save Keith and the whole universe, is for us to work together!”

His frown deepened, but his will only got stronger.

“I need to know: are you with me?”

Oh… How amazing was Shiro’s ability with his words.

Kuro fought with iron fists, while Shiro fought with silver tongue.

Hearing that…

Hearing his passionate and compassionate words made Kuro feel something that he knew was dangerous, but he couldn’t help himself.

Those words made him feel hope.

He gave Shiro a small lopsided grin.

“’till the end of the line, bro.”

The brothers grinned at each other.

Kuro took control of the body.

\- I'm going for the Black Lion. You guys get the Princess, now!

It felt _good_ to follow Shiro’s leadership.

“Co-leadership,” Shiro chuckled. He too seemed to feel the power of their connection. “I trust you to guide us to Black. Lead the way, little brother.”

Oh, how Kuro missed that companionship…

He could even feel Black, like the sweet lullaby Shiro always sang to him.

He let his hopes grow.

They could do it.

They could save the universe.

They could do it!

\- So… Champion returns!

Haggar’s voice shattered that feeble thing in Kuro’s heart.

He felt his heart catch in his throat.

No…

Please…

When Kuro failed, Shiro took control.

\- You!

He was angry.

He was able to activate the Galra hand, and he tried to attack her.

Oh, but he was slow, and didn’t have the experience.

“Kuro! A little help in here?!”

\- I made you strong, and this is how you repay me?

Shiro prepared to try to punch her directly.

“Shiro, don’t!”

It was too late.

They were thrown, like a rag doll.

\- You could have been our greatest weapon!

Kuro felt like crying upon hearing that, which only seemed to fuel Shiro’s anger.

He stood up. His footwork was not as good as Kuro’s, but his determination made up for it.

Kuro couldn’t help but admire his brother’s resolution.

However, before hope could bloom in his chest again, a hand grabbed Shiro’s neck.

A metal hand.

With utter horror, Kuro saw himself choking his brother.

Him.

The Champion.

The Champion smirked and Kuro felt like hyperventilating.

\- Now, I will destroy you.

A black ooze started to engulf them.

All his fault.

Like always, it was all Kuro’s fault.

“KURO! SNAP OUT OF IT! KURO!”

His own cruel laugh made him panic and cower in fear.

And suddenly, they were falling into the abyss.

“FOR THE TEAM’S SAKE, KURO, SNAP OUT OF IT!”

He couldn’t.

Shiro was forced to keep fighting Haggar.

He wasn’t prepared for that.

The witch clawed into their flank with her dark magic.

Shiro screamed.

Kuro could only repeat one thing in his mind.

_It’s all my fault._

“KURO!”

_It’s all my fault._

Haggar prepared to a final attack.

_It is all my fault._

\- And now, Champion, your time is over!

_It’s all my fault._

“KURO, PLEASE!”

_It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault.It’s all my fault.It’s all my fault.It’s all my fault.It’s all my fault.It’s all my fault.It’s all my fault.It’s all my fault.It’s all my fault.It’s all my fault.It’s all my fault.It’s all my fault.It’s all my fault.It’s all my fault.It’s all my fault.It’s all my fault._

Shiro would die, and it was all his fault.

At the last moment, Hunk and Allura saved them.

Shiro still tried to attack Haggar. His anger hadn’t been placated yet.

Kuro, on the other hand, let himself sink back into their mind.

The last thing he heard Shiro saying was:

“Oh, for God’s sake, Kuro!”

 

* * *

 

Shit had hit the fan pretty fast on that rescue mission.

And Keith KNEW that that would happen.

He TOLD them that it was a bad idea!

Keith expected Shiro of all people to agree with him, since he was the one most committed to Voltron.

However, his demeanor had shifted again.

In one moment he seemed guilty and lost…

…in the next, he agreed with that mission, and he didn’t look regretful at all.

He still seemed to be fulfilling his duties, but not with Voltron.

With somebody else.

It was as if the final piece of the puzzle had fallen into Keith’s lap with a red bow on top.

Baby and babycheeks.

Golden Boy and Bad Boy.

Vanilla and Kinky.

White and Black.

Shiro and…

An old memory crossed Keith’s mind insistently.

A Codename.

He had no time for confrontation before the risky mission, but he already knew what he had to do.

Voltron couldn’t continue with that kind of conflict within their leader.

The Black Paladin needed to be focused in order to make Voltron work.

His…

His _lovers_ needed to be focused in order for them to survive, as Keith couldn’t bear to lose them again.

Keith _couldn’t_ lose them again.

Keith knew what to do.

He needed to talk to _Kuro_.


	7. Monster/Survivor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language. This story if partially betaed, and there is just one peculiarity before you start reading:  
> \- [Text after dashes] = TALKING (A Romance Language custom)  
> "[Text between quotation marks]" = THE CONVERSATIONS INSIDE SHIRO AND KURO'S HEAD
> 
> Now, to the story!

Shiro tried to pilot Black on his own, to the best of his abilities. However, he was hurt and alone (since Kuro was still panicking, his mind in the midst of a painful haze). He was a good pilot, but he was too used to having his brother co-piloting with him.

They crashed into that desert planet.

They passed out, and Kuro’s last thought was once again, _This is all my fault_ …

Kuro didn’t know for sure how long they were out.

He woke up with a headache and with the place where Haggar had clawed hurting like hell. It was bleeding a little, but what worried him was the purple gleam that the wound was emanating.

That couldn’t be good.

He breathed, deeply and slowly, for a while.

He needed to focus. He needed to survive yet again and to protect his brother. He also needed to find Keith (he was pretty sure they landed near one another).

Black whined. She was tired and all banged up.

\- It is ok, Black. – Kuro reassured her – You need to rest.

Shiro groaned in the back of their head, waking up slowly.

\- Kuro…?

\- I’m here, Shiro. I’m here.

\- What happened?

\- Apparently, we crashed… sorry about that, I should have assumed control…

\- Hey, stop it! It is not your fault.

Kuro grunted and shrugged.

He could feel Shiro AND Black rolling their eyes.

\- We’re going to discuss it later. – Shiro said, annoyed.

Kuro looked down.

\- Shiro, I don’t -

\- Kuro, you _promised_! You said that if I convinced the others to go save Allura, you would let me help you!

\- That was a very shitty rescue mission!

\- Yes, I know and I TOLD you before we went there!

\- Well! The mission failed! I don’t have to keep my side of the bargain!

He could feel that Shiro was outraged.

\- Are you _really_ going to break your promise to me?!

Black grumbled in disapproval to him.

Kuro looked away from the panel.

\- Shiro…

\- You _promised_! I know that you’re a man of your word! Honor your promise!

Kuro sighed and took off the seatbelt.

\- We’ll talk about it later, OK? We have to survive first.

Shiro nodded solemnly.

\- I’ll hold you to it.

Kuro sighed again.

\- I’m sure you will.

He exited the Lion and started to walk around.

Kuro needed to find Keith first and furthermost. Then water, to clean the wound (even if he was positive that the dark magic would still be infecting it), in order to put on some bandages.

\- Keith, are you there? Keith?

Only static.

Both brothers were worried and scared that something could have happened to their beloved.

\- What if…? – Shiro started to say in dread, already imagining the worst.

Kuro shook his head.

\- No, Shiro. He’s alive.

He looked up.

\- I've got to get us to higher ground.

Shiro nodded, still scared.

Kuro walked to the top of a hill.

Being higher would help them to catch a better signal, and to send a message to Keith through their communicators.

The climb was hard. The wound hurt like hell and it was hard for Kuro to breathe. His head hurt and there was cold sweat on his back. Fuck… He probably had hurt his lungs, had a concussion AND a fever.

FUCK!

If only he had been stronger, instead of cowering from Haggar like a scared baby…

He remembered her abilities, and he knew how to dodge her and run. He should NEVER have let Shiro fight Haggar. However, he was weak…

A wimpy and broken monster.

Why did he ever allow the illusion of him being more than that to cloud his mind?

Kuro blamed Shiro’s silver tongue and the heat of the moment.

In the middle of the climb, he heard something beside the static.

\- _Takashi- -are you there? Answer- -me!_

His heart sped up with relief and other emotions. Shiro relaxed and smiled in the back of their mind.

The wound ached, which make Kuro cringe a little before answering with a hoarse voice.

\- Keith? I'm here. – he received no answer – Keith?

The wound burned for a moment, the pain radiating to his abdomen and chest.

Kuro grunted in pain. The pain was so strong that he had to lean on the nearest rock for support. He panted and was forced to sit on the ground to catch his breath to wait for the pain to fade. A wave of nausea plagued his stomach and he felt shivers due to the cold. His breathing was difficult.

\- _Takashi! It's Keith_.

The message was getting clearer. Kuro could hear that Keith was panting. It didn’t seem to be due to pain, but because he was running. Knowing Keith, it was not hard to imagine that he was probably running towards them, hence the signal getting stronger.

\- Keith, Keith, I'm here. – suppressing a pained groan, Kuro added in order to placate Keith’s worries - I'm okay.

He heard Keith chuckle lightly and Kuro felt their heart leap with emotion.

Keith was all right.

It would be OK.

\- _Takashi, you made it!_

Kuro grumbled and looked at his wound.

\- It takes more than a glowing alien wound, a fall from the upper atmosphere, and crashing into a hard planet surface, at what I'm guessing is about 25 meters per second squared, to get rid of me. – he tried to joke. Shiro metaphorically facepalmed at the back of their head – How are you?

\- _Not good. My lion's busted_. – there was a small pause in which Keith seemed to realize that he only obeyed the command without thinking too deeply about the message content - _Wait, what wound?_

\- It's nothing. – Kuro tried to lie in order to keep Keith calm.

Shiro groaned.

“Tell him the TRUTH!” he mimicked Genie from Aladdin.

Kuro ignored him.

He couldn’t help but remember the fight against Haggar again. The wound pained him as if it was burning, constricting and electroshocking him at the same time. He remembered, and regretted how he was too weak to protect Shiro. That memory seemed to make the wound ache even more.

He groaned in pain.

\- _Hang on, I'm coming!_ – Keith replied.

Kuro sighed.

And here he was, needing a hero to save him.

“It’s not so bad,” Shiro said with a pleased sigh as the pain faded a bit (even if the feverish shivers were still plaguing them in waves). “He makes for a very handsome knight in shining armor.”

Kuro groaned.

“I still feel pretty stupid, but I can't argue with that. His ass looks great in the paladin armor.”

Shiro tried to chuckle, but their chest hurt.

Kuro groaned quietly.

Now they just needed to wai-

Before he could finish that thought, Kuro heard a low howl coming from where Black lay.

He looked carefully from behind the rock.

Several creatures were crawling around Black. They looked like huge grey-purplish lizards with long tusks. They made feral snarls between themselves as a way of communication.

Kuro narrowed his eyes. He was in no condition for a fight, especially against so many enemies at the same time.

\- On second thought, you'd better hurry. - he whispered to Keith.

With two fighters, they might be able to push back, even if Kuro was hurt.

He heard Keith activate his jetpack so he could go faster.

\- _Takashi, what happened?_

Kuro narrowed his eyes, preparing himself to walk away from the monsters quietly until Keith got to him.

\- There's several creatures. - he whispered.

Kuro took a few steps back in worry. He needed to hide before giving Keith any more details.

He heard a low growl behind him.

Kuro turned around in time to see one of those same creatures try to creep up behind him.

Fuck!

He heard more growls behind him and looked back.

The first howl had called the attention of the other lizard-creatures and now they were trying to corner him.

\- _Uh-oh._ – he heard Keith say, the sound of several rocks exploding and the sound of water.

Keith made some distressed sounds and a small yelp.

Both brothers felt their heart constrict in worry for Keith, but they had their own problems at the moment.

Kuro saw a small cave down the steep hill.

Their backpack was still damaged, so he had no choice but to run if he wanted to get there.

With quick reflexes, Kuro dodged the first attack and jumped to the steep. His feet slide down the hill and he jumped to get to the valley floor. The wound stung and he felt lightheaded. Kuro grunted in pain, but continued running towards the cave. The creatures roared behind him. Kuro looked back just in time to see that they were preparing to attack him one more time.

He jumped and fell inside the cave on his back. The wound hurt a lot and he felt the world spinning around him.

The creatures collided with the stone walls and that made the entrance of the cave collapse, making the monsters unable to get to him.

Kuro protected his head during the collapse. They were OK. Both brothers groaned and panted due to all that stress. The cave was now protecting them, but also preventing them from moving. At least they were lying down, which helped a little with the breathing and the pain.

However, they had a more urgent matter to attend to, now that they were safe.

\- Keith, are you okay? What happened?

They heard Keith panting.

\- _Minor delay,_ \- Kuro heard Keith’s jetpack activate again – _but I'm on my way. How are you?_

Keith was OK.

He breathed in relief for one moment before hearing the roars from the monsters outside the cave.

\- I'm all right, but I'm trapped in a cave, and some nasty-looking creatures have me cornered.

The lizard-creatures were staring at him through the small opening of the collapsed cave and slamming their heads there.

\- _Stay put. I'm on my way._ – Keith sounded tired, but out of danger – _I just have to... figure this out…_

Kuro laid his head on the stone and just focused on breathing.

He was sweating, feverish, and his head hurt.

Also, the wound only seemed to ache and burn, more and more.

Shiro touched his mind with gentle fingers.

“You did great, Kuro! Rest a little bit. I’ll take it from here.”

Kuro smiled feeble before letting Shiro assume control again. They were safe inside the cave until Keith was here to save them.

Shiro pressed against the wound and did the traditional routine of checking their vitals. They weren’t paying the utmost attention, just making sure they weren’t actually dying at a rapid pace. The fever and pain was taking a toll on Shiro too.

Through their communicator, they heard Keith even out his breath slowly.

\- _Patience yields focus._ – Keith said softly.

Both Shiro and Kuro smiled.

Kuro chuckled.

\- That really stayed with you, didn't it?

\- _You've given me some good advice._ – they heard the sound of a new small explosion, rocks and water – _If it wasn't for you, my life would have been a lot different._

Shiro beamed and Kuro snorted.

\- Yeah. You wouldn't have crashed a flying lion on an alien planet and be stuck with little hope of rescue. So, you're welcome.

Shiro panted.

The fever was taking its toll on both brothers. Kuro was having some difficulties thinking straight.

They coughed.

Their breathing seemed to become harder as the time went by.

\- _Stay with me, Takashi._

They heard Keith make a series of sounds.

First, there was his bayard cutting something and a new explosion. Then he was laughing, but that laughter turned into hard breaths, worried grunts and a desperate shout. His jetpack turning on was the next thing the brothers heard and Keith’s surprised yelps. Lastly, he heard Keith collide into a hard surface, knocking the air out of him and a pained groan.

Their heartbeat picked up in worry.

\- Keith! Keith!

Keith groaned again.

\- _Hang on. I'm on my way._

The creatures stopped slamming against the entrance of the cave. The sound of claws scratching rocks made Kuro look back to the entrance. They had started putting their paws on the opening to pull rocks away, making the entrance bigger.

Fuck!

That was not good.

Kuro took full control of the body while Shiro made a pained groan. The fever was not helping him.

\- Good, because these guys just started digging.

He stared in fear at the entrance, seeing the creatures dig.

He barely registered Keith’s chuckle and him saying something. For at that same moment, one of the creatures bit his leg and pulled him out of the cave.

Kuro screamed when he was thrown in the air like a rag doll.

Great.

Broken ribs.

EXACTLY what he needed at that moment.

Kuro rolled and stood up activating his hand.

But there were too many of them and the infected wound on his right side wouldn’t let him fight in his top-notch condition.

He was screwed, wasn’t he?

Kuro panted.

His whole body ached and he was about to black out.

He stood on the ground, ready to try to defend in case of an attack.

It seemed to be in vain.

They were going to  die.

Kuro couldn't let his brother see that gruesome death.

He put a hand over Shiro’s eyes.

“Kuro! Don’t -”

 _Sleep_.

However, instead of the usual peaceful knockout, he could feel Shiro’s restlessness, even though he was out of commission.

That didn’t matter.

At least his brother wouldn’t be there when they were mauled and killed.

One last act of protection.

Kuro braced himself for death…

…and the Black Lion saved him.

_What?_

Shiro woke up with a grunt. It seemed like he would shout at Kuro, but then he stared at Black in awe too.

After Black roared at the creatures, making them all go away, she opened her mouth and Keith jumped out e with a worried expression.

\- Takashi!

Kuro smiled before slipping away from the controls.

His brother could take from there, since they were out of danger.

Keith fretted over them, taking them near where Red was and starting a small fire. He collected water and tried to tend to the wound. However, Shiro was still running a high fever.

“We aren’t going to make this time,” Kuro said softly. “One way or another, we probably will die.”

“No, Kuro! We can’t die now! Voltron nee-“

“Bro, we are dying and you know it.”

They stayed in silence while Keith tried to clean the nasty wound.

Shiro was heartbroken.

“We… We need… We need someone to be the new Black Paladin.”

Without exchanging words, the brothers already knew who their choice was.

It was pretty obvious who the choice was, especially after that afternoon.

Just like the night they realized that they both wanted to marry Keith, they decided that Keith was the right choice for their replacement after their death.

They never get to put that beautiful ring on Keith’s finger, but at least they would leave something for him, huh?

\- Thanks for saving me.

Keith stared at him with a concerned expression.

\- You'd have done the same for me. How's your wound?

Kuro chuckled.

\- My wound's great! It's getting bigger all the time! – Keith glared at him. Kuro would blush if it wasn’t for his sickness – Just trying to lighten the mood.

Keith was still frowning and looking displeased.

\- Hang in there. When Allura and Coran find us, they'll fix you right up.

Keith wanted to say more. That was clear to Kuro by the way Keith frowned. However, something was holding him back. His blue eyes glanced to the brothers’ wound for a moment, and he kept whatever he wanted to say to himself. Kuro concluded that he was holding back whatever he wanted to say due to the brothers’ condition.

\- Just rest. We’ll be rescued soon. – Keith said instead.

“You tell him, bro?” Kuro asked softly to his brother.

Shiro nodded.

“Yeah, I can do it.”

They switched places again.

\- Keith… If I don't make it out of here, I want you to lead Voltron.

Keith expression fell.

He looked so lost and sad…

\- Stop talking like that! You're gonna make it!

He looked so desperate to keep them alive…

Their heart beat with a mixture of sorrow and happiness.

Shiro smiled at Keith.

As if on cue, right before the brothers started to succumb to their injury, Pidge and the Castle showed up.

The smile Keith gave the brothers could light up the whole night sky.

They were taken to a healing pod as fast as possible.

Kuro sighed contently, falling asleep in the pod. Sweet unconsciousness.

He had a dream.

No, scratch that.

He relived a memory.

Kuro saw, once again, his escape from the Galra.

How Ulaz saved him, freeing Kuro from the table he was strapped to, and helped him escape.

That wasn't supposed to be a bad memory. Kuro had been scared, yes indeed, but he had also had worse.

However, he felt his heart speed up in real fear, just like he felt the first time.

Huh?

But he was calm!

Kuro wasn't afraid now!

He woke up, startled.

What the hell…?

With some horror he realized that it wasn't he who was startled, it wasn't him who was scared, it wasn't he who made their heart speed up.

It was Shiro.

Shiro had seen his memory of escaping.

Keith and Hunk helped Shiro out of the pod.

\- I remembered! - Shiro said to them - I remembered how I escaped the Galra!

The fright was passing and Kuro could feel that Shiro was getting excited.

He was going after Ulaz.

“Shiro, don't do it.”

“Then tell me what happened!”

Kuro tensed.

“Tell me, Kuro! Please!”

Kuro curled inside his mind, running away.

“I'm sorry, Shiro.”

He knew his brother.

The only way he would stop it would be if he knocked him out.

And Kuro didn't want to do that again…

He didn't want his brother to suffer and he didn't want to knock him out. Since it wasn't a life or death situation, Kuro didn't want to do that. He was in a difficult spot with a difficult choice.

Shiro talked to the others with enthusiasm. The team received the news with a mixture of excitement and wariness. They mobilized themselves to search for “Shiro’s” saviour.

Keith narrowed his eyes at Shiro’s enthusiasm, but he supported his boyfriend’s decision to find that mysterious Ulaz.

\- And he was Galra? – Allura asked with a displeased frown - You know you cannot trust them.

\- Your father must have trusted them once. Zarkon was the original Black Paladin, wasn't he?

Coran and Allura looked tense (as if not expecting that to be discovered).

\- Wait, what? – Hunk asked, astonished.

Allura looked away.

\- That was a long time ago.

\- Didn't you see how he stole the Black Lion right out from Shiro? Or that he could do all that cool stuff with his bayard? Shiro's bayard? You know, the black one?

\- Holy shit, dude! – Lance gasped.

\- Why didn't you just tell us the truth about Zarkon? – Shiro asked with a frown and feeling betrayed.

Allura was uncomfortable, Kuro was positive of that. Her posture was tense and she clenched her jaw a bit.

\- I wanted to protect you from the dark history of the paladins so that you would have a chance to bond with your lions on your own. You are the Black Paladin now, not Zarkon.

\- The Black Lion may have a different take on the matter. - his voice was bitter.

Allura stuttered.

\- W-well, it doesn’t matter! You have the bond with her now.

Kuro couldn’t help himself.

How could Allura act like that, as if they were stupid and as if she was the only one entitled to the truth? Knowing that could have prepared him for his encounter with Zarkon and mind battle for Black!

\- Do you think I’m an idiot!?

Everybody looked at him, stunned. Allura’s eyes were comically wide now.

\- You want us to fight YOUR fucking war, a war that YOUR fucking father started and didn’t fucking finish, and you expect us to just do that blindly, just because you said some fucking magic mecha chose us, when not even that is true?!

Kuro punched the strategy table so hard with his right hand that it cracked under his fist.

People were still stunned by his outburst.

Keith narrowed his eyes, though (he was clearly suspicious of Kuro/Shiro and he wanted to say or to ask something, but was holding back. Kuro ignored that for now).

Shiro held him back.

“Kuro, enough!”

He grunted, but gave control away in favor of sitting aside in anger.

Shiro sighed, pretending to keep some of that anger.

\- If you are so certain about your magic mumbo jumbo that the Lion chooses the pilot, you should have told us those details.

\- I want to know more! – Lance added – Like, who the hell was the pilot before me?

\- What happened to the old paladins? – Hunk demanded.

“Congratulations, Kuro,” Shiro rolled his eyes internally, “you started a mutiny”.

“Shiro, I didn't sign up for this. If I'm going to be forced to fight this war, I want to know the truth.”

Allura and Coran shared a look. They were set on not telling them the truth, from what Kuro could read from them. Shiro asked him about them and Kuro grudgingly informed him.

Shiro grunted in their mindspace.

“Bastards.”

“Still angry for me to start a mutiny?” Kuro asked with a smirk though.

Shiro (metaphorically) nodded.

“Ok, fair enough.”

\- If you don’t tell us more, - Shiro said aloud – how do you expect us to trust you?

The Alteans shared a new look.

“Kuro?”

“They look conflicted, but I don’t think they’ll tell us anything right now.”

A nod.

“Very well, I’ll keep pushing later.”

Allura was annoyed while Coran nodded to them in sympathy.

\- We will answer everything, but please, we ask for some time.

“Kuro?”

He groaned.

“He is on our side, she is not. So Coran is telling the truth.”

Shiro nodded and answered the Alteans.

Pidge said she would work on the code she extracted from Shiro’s arm, to try to find any coordinates. That probably would take a while, though.

As they were walking away, Keith grabbed Shiro’s arm.

\- Can we talk?

Kuro could see from his back seat that there was something off about Keith on that moment. There was that weird suspicious look in his blue eyes that Kuro was positive was directed at him, and Keith wouldn’t give up until he get answers.

“I don’t like this, Shiro.”

“Yeah, but it is Keith. We can’t say no to him without at least hearing him out,” he answered in a matter-of-fact way.

Kuro still stayed on high alert.

“I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever, Leia.”

\- Yeah, sure, baby.

\- In private.

\- O-kaaay?

Keith narrowed his eyes before walking toward the wing that held the paladins’ rooms. Shiro followed, close behind.

Kuro couldn’t shake off the feeling of uneasiness. There was something about Keith’s posture and expression that reeked of confrontation.

They entered the bedroom they were sharing and Keith closed the door.

\- What is it, baby?

\- The situation cannot continue the way it is. – Keith said, going straight to the point without any pleasantries – You are our leader! You can’t be snapping at others like that and jeopardizing Voltron so carelessly!

“And whose fault that is, Kuro?” Shiro asked, annoyed.

Kuro just grumbled.

Considering that he screwed things up epically the last time he intervened in an argument with Keith, Kuro would prefer to ignore the fight altogether this time. However, that thing in Keith’s posture was making him unease for some reason. Thus, he watched with idle attention.

Shiro sighed, convincingly.

\- I know… I know… I’m sorry, baby. I’m try-

\- I wasn’t talking to you.

Kuro felt a shiver run down his spine and he felt Shiro’s shock.

“How?!”

“I don’t know! What the fuck!?”

“Maybe he doesn’t really know?”

“Seems unlikely.”

“Stay calm, Kuro. I’ll deal with it.”

Shiro was able remain in control of the body and he had only widened his eyes. Kuro watched as he recovered quickly, with a confused expression.

\- Keith, I’m the only one in the room with you.

Keith still had that confrontational and determined expression.

\- Don’t lie to me, Shiro. We both know that you aren’t the one putting Voltron in peril.

He took a step towards them with a burning certainty in his eyes.

\- And we both know that we are not the only two people in this room.

Kuro was feeling restless.

His existence should be a secret.

NOBODY in the Castle, besides Shiro, was supposed to know!

Nobody should know that they were carrying a monster within them.

Just the mere thought of someone suspecting that he was with the seven members of Team Volron already made Kuro’s insides quiver with fear.

To have Keith address Shiro like that was terrifying.

Especially because he _knew_ that Kuro was there.

Kuro was good at reading people.

It was clear as day that Keith was not bluffing.

He knew.

“Kuro! Kuro, calm down!”

“Fix it! Fix it! Fix it!”

“Ok! Just stay calm!”

Shiro tried to laugh it off.

\- Baby, that sounds something out of a documentary about ghosts.

Keith kept his glare.

He knew.

He **knew**.

\- Shiro, drop the act. I need to speak with Kuro.

Kuro felt his world drop and a feeling of utter terror take him.

“Breathe! Damn it, Kuro! Breathe!”

Kuro was feeling like a cornered animal.

Since Shiro was too surprised and he was also dealing with Kuro, he didn’t answer Keith.

\- Did you two really think I wouldn’t notice?! That I would be so stupid that I wouldn’t see something as big as that?!

\- Keith, that isn’t -

\- Don’t lie to me!

Keith wouldn’t back off. His dark blue strong gaze was unwavering.

“He knows!” Kuro felt his world spin with terror.

“Kuro, stay calm! I’ll do damage control, but I need you to remain calm!” Shiro sounded equally scared, but at least he wasn’t panicking. “Please, don’t do anything reckless!”

“THEN DEAL WITH IT!”

Shiro dropped his expression. He was switching tactics to use half-truths. Kuro had seen him do that in the past, but never before had he felt so desperate for a good outcome.

\- Keith, I’m really sorry. I never meant to hurt you in any way-

\- This isn’t about our relationship, Shiro! Even though a warning that I was dating two people instead of one would have been nice, we have more important things to worry about right now!

He kept his posture straight, and his fists clenched. His eyes were fixed on the brothers’ face.

\- Baby, I’m sorry. That won’t happe-

\- We have a responsibility to the universe!

\- Will you ever let me finish a sentence?

\- I don’t want your excuses, Shiro! I know you’re the one who has been covering for Kuro. But we can’t have our leader, the head of Voltron, being so inconsistent and snapping at nothing! I want to speak with Kuro!

“Kuro, maybe-”

“NO!”

Shiro groaned.

\- Would either of you let me finish? – he mumbled, massaging his forehead.

\- Well? – Keith demanded.

\- Look, Keith, I know that this situation isn’t ideal, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to talk to Kuro right now.

\- You just can’t let things stay like this!

\- Keith, I KNOW that this is taking a toll on Voltron. Believe me, if I could resolve it, I would have done it. But Kuro had been through a lot and -

\- Oh, let me guess: – Keith crossed his arms – he isn’t coping with that AT ALL? He’s just snapping at everything instead of dealing with it?

Kuro growled, feeling threatened.

“Kuro, please, stay calm! Please!”

\- We’re working on it… - Shiro answered sheepishly.

\- It isn’t working! – Keith’s tone was hard and without room for question – Shiro, either you let me talk to him or I’ll tell the oth-

\- DON’T YOU _DARE_! – Kuro shouted.

He took the wheel harshly, shoving Shiro to the side.

Protect.

Kuro needed to protect.

This time, however, he wasn’t protecting his brother, but himself.

He couldn't let others know about his existence.

Just the idea of letting more people know about him, know about how broken and how much of a monster he was, terrified Kuro almost beyond reason.

Keith was startled by the outburst, but he didn’t seem surprised or shocked.

\- Finally! We need to talk, Kuro.

Kuro snarled.

\- There is _nothing_ for us to talk about! I’m fine!

\- _Fine_!? You are disrupting our team! You are -

\- We formed Voltron already! Shut the fuck up!

\- For fuck’s sake! We need to work as a team! We can’t have one of our leaders snapping like that!

\- I’m not snapping!

\- You broke the strategy table!

Shiro nodded at the back of Kuro’s head, agreeing with their boyfriend. Kuro ignored his brother.

\- Who the fuck do you think you are to point fingers at me?! You always act on your own and ignore others!

“Kuro, stop! You know that Keith hates to be called selfish!”

Kuro snarled at him in their shared mindspace.

Keith seemed even angrier.

\- Don’t try to change the subject! That doesn’t change the fact that _you_ are not in sync with the rest of Voltron!

\- And that’s all what you care about. Voltron!

Keith frowned.

\- In case you didn’t notice, we are saving the ENTIRE FUCKING UNIVERSE! That’s more important than your butthurt!

Kuro reacted without thinking.

He grabbed Keith by the collar, taking him by surprise, and slammed him against the closed door.

Keith tried to resist, but Kuro slammed him against the door again. That knocked the air out of Keith, making him groan. His eyes seemed to unfocus for one moment, his pupils blown wide.

\- You have NO IDEA what I went through! You don’t get to say a fucking thing about how I have to behave!

Keith just stared at him in awe.

\- Drop this and don’t talk to anyone about me. – he ordered.

That made Keith react differently than what he had hoped.

Keith glared again and stared at him in defiance.

\- No! I won’t drop the subject until you let me help you!

\- Do I fucking look like I need help!?

He slammed Keith again against the wall. Keith grunted, but kept his stance. His hands were beside his body with the palms against the wall for support. He still glared at Kuro (even if his pupils were still dilated).

\- Yes, you do! I won’t drop it!

Kuro got closer to Keith’s body so he could snarl in his face and try to intimidate him.

However, before Kuro could open his mouth, he felt something pressing against his thigh.

Both of them looked down.

Keith’s dick was half-hard.

Keith was mortified.

Kuro glared. A wicked plan started to develop in his mind.

\- If you want me so badly, you’ll get it.

Keith tried to put his frown back in place.

\- Kuro, we have to talk about Vol-

Kuro slammed him against the wall again. Using the brief moment of distraction, he grabbed both of Keith’s wrists and pinned them above his head with his left hand. He now had one leg between Keith’s legs, pushing him a little up against the wall. Their chests were very close. Kuro could feel Keith’s ragged breaths on his neck and collarbone.

\- Liar. – Kuro whispered angrily.

Keith bit his lip before saying.

\- That is _not_ what I want to talk to you about!

“Kuro, stop!” Shiro shouted in their shared mindspace.

But Kuro wasn’t listening.

He put his hand over Shiro’s eyes.

“Kuro, NO!”

 _Sleep_.

Shiro didn’t black out completely. He seemed to still be awake, but in a paralyzed haze.

Now, Kuro needed to intimidate Keith into letting it go and not telling the others about him.

No matter the cost.

He was desperate, between a rock and a hard place. Just like an animal cornered, ready to do anything, to chew off its own leg or to attack whomever who was in his way.

Kuro was a beast after all.

A true animal.

Champion.

Monster.

His prosthetic hand gripped Keith’s groin hard. Keith held back a pained moan.

\- Drop the subject now and I’ll stop. – Kuro said, still gripping Keith’s hardening member through his pants.

Keith gritted his teeth.

\- I won’t drop it! Voltron is-

\- You want this that badly, huh? – Kuro interrupted, moving his hand, making Keith tremble – You’re shameless.

Before Keith could answer, Kuro ripped his T-shirt open with his prosthetic. He twisted one of his arms, so that he was now holding Keith’s left arm behind his back, like a vice. Keith had his naked chest pushed against the wall.

Keith seemed to be in a helpless position.

Unless…

\- Just let it go, and we can stop here.

\- I won’t! – Keith gritted his teeth and glared over his shoulder.

\- Your bad.

Kuro shoved him towards the bed, one hand gripping Keith’s wrist against his back and the other yanking on his soft hair. Keith hissed.

He could hear Shiro at the back of his head, but his voice was too weakened by the dazed state he was for Kuro to hear him. He wouldn’t have listened anyway.

He needed to protect himself.

That was the basis of any animal, any beast, any monster survival instinct.

Kuro needed to protect himself.

No matter the cost.

He pressed Keith’s body against the mattress and used his own weight to keep him in place. Keith thrashed a little, but he basically just glared over his shoulder.

\- Kuro, we have no time for that! Voltron is more important!

Kuro ignored in order to pull Keith’s hair again hard (harder than what usually was pleasurable). Keith hissed in pain and thrashed his free arm around.

When he let go of the hair, Kuro pushed his hand under Keith’s belly. He unfastened the belt and pulled it free.

\- That isn’t what I came here for!

\- Liar.

Kuro pushed Keith’s head against the pillow forcefully. Then he grabbed both of Keith’s arms and tied them behind his back with the belt. He pushed the dagger that had been fastened to the belt aside. Kuro activated his hand. He wouldn’t mar Keith’s skin, but use just enough energy to hurt and scare him.

One finger running down on Keith’s spine.

One electrical finger.

Enough energy to be painful, but not damage anything.

Keith yelped in pain, arching his back into the touch. He shouted louder when Kuro passed the finger over his lower back and hips. The room’s walls were soundproof, or so had Coran informed them, meaning that no matter the noise they made, nobody would interrupt.

He repeated the process three times.

The purple energy made Keith’s skin red and irritated. He groaned, squealed and shouted.

Kuro kept an impassive expression. His emotions were too convoluted and he was letting survival instinct dictate his actions.

No matter the cost.

He wasn’t thinking.

Keith fell to the bed after the third time, like a graceless bird. He was panting and his body laid lax underneath Kuro. There was an angry red line running down his back. He always bruised like a peach, after all. The only place untouched was where his wrists were tied behind him.

Kuro nodded at his handiwork.

\- Now, let it go and I’ll stop.

Keith panted. He didn’t even look over his shoulder when he answered with a challenging tone.

\- Is that all you’ve got!? Because I’m not letting that go until-

Kuro slammed his head into the pillow again, earning a groan in response.

This time, he used his whole activated right palm on Keith's skin.

Still not enough energy to mar.

Oh, but Kuro was positive that it hurt.

Keith screamed in pain.

\- KURO!

He screamed and shouted Kuro’s name the whole time.

It was erotic in a twisted way, a way that made Kuro feel even filthier than before. He prayed in his head that that would be enough for Keith to drop the subject and forget about him (or ignore him, whichever).

Keith’s breathing was ragged and he was moaning in pain.

Kuro just sat, waiting for him to catch his breath so he could demand him to drop the subject in hand once again.

Keith beat him to it.

\- Do you really think that that would stop me? – he asked, in-between pants – Don’t make me laugh.

He had twisted his body so he could look at Kuro with a hard stare in his blue eyes. His pupils were still blown wide. His lips were downturned.

\- Now that you’ve had your fun, can we just talk your issues out?

Kuro tangled his flesh fingers in Keith’s hair and pulled hard. He earned a yelp of pain for that.

\- You don’t give the orders here.

Keith hissed.

\- Stop fooling around! We need to focus on Vo-

Kuro pushed his head against the pillow again.

He grabbed Keith’s legs and pulled off the boots.

Keith was still lax and catching his breath.

He pulled offt Keith’s pants and underwear.

\- Kuro, slow down…

\- Drop the subject and I’ll stop it.

Kuro said that while standing up. He took his own belt and folded it.

He stared at Keith.

He was still a vision like any other, like a fallen angel splayed over Kuro’s bed. The skin on his back was red and irritated. He had finished catching his breath. Keith had his head turned to the side with his hair tangled in every direction. He stared at Kuro from his position.

\- Kuro, just give me some time!

\- Drop it. – Kuro deadpanned – Drop the subject.

Keith sighed.

\- We both know I won’t do that.

Kuro hit Keith’s ass using the belt.

Keith yelped.

The slap sound seemed loud in the small room. It left a red mark on Keith’s ass.

Keith panted, but Kuro didn’t wait for him to catch his breath.

He hit him again.

And again.

And again and again and again.

\- Please, not so fast! – Keith begged at some point.

Kuro didn’t listen.

He just kept hitting Keith’s ass with his belt.

“Kuro… stop…” Shiro said feebly.

Kuro ignored him and pushed him back down to his numbed state.

 _Sleep_.

Shiro shouted, but he couldn’t stop his brother. Somehow, that made Kuro himself feel numb, as if he was distant from his own feelings, a mere observer of his thoughts.

He kept assaulting Keith’s ass with the belt.

At first, the skin was pink and red, like all the times Kuro had spanked him. In the past that would be a lovely shade and just the beginning to  some of their scenes. However, instead of stopping here this time, Kuro continued.

He needed to push Keith away from him.

No matter the cost.

The pink turned into red.

The red turned into dark red.

Dark red mixed with purple.

Dark red and purple.

Bruises in every place Kuro had landed a blow with his belt. Long marks that covered Keith’s ass with haematomas in the shape of the leather.

Keith had shouted and screamed at the beginning, pleading Kuro to slow down, to let him catch his breath. However, Kuro was relentless. Keith then started to gasp, and then to whimper.

Kuro stopped at this point, staring at his handiwork with a mix of shame and apathy.

He stayed there, catching his own breath for a few moments.

\- I hope this is enough for you to get my point. – he said while putting his belt back on again – This conversation is over.

Kuro moved to untie Keith’s wrists.

That was probably enough.

However, contrary to his belief, Keith sucked in a deep breath before shouting at Kuro.

\- No! I ain’t quitin’!

His voice was a little slurred, but he looked behind him, straight at Kuro, from behind his dishevelled hair. His eyes were blown wide, but there was a hard fire burning in them, a passion that seemed to come straight from Keith’s heart and soul.

The alluring shine of a supernova.

\- We gotta talk!

Kuro clenched his jaw and his fists. He slammed his metal hand into the wall. A warning for Keith.

\- WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LET IT GO!

Keith was completely unfazed.

\- I’ve gotta talk to you.

There was lingering depth in his voice. As if he wanted to say more, but he couldn’t find the correct words.

\- There is nothing to say! – Kuro answered with bitterness – Just let it go, Keith!

Keith frowned.

\- No. I’ve-

Before he could forced to repeat himself, Kuro activated his metal hand again and used the same intensity as before. This time, however, he used it on Keith’s ass, over his bruised cheeks.

Keith screamed. His eyes widened in shock and pain.

Oh, but Kuro continued moving his hand there, for what seemed to be a long time for both of them.

When he finally stopped, Keith was crying.

He was sniffing and trying to hold back his hiccups.

 _Now it’s over._ Kuro thought.

Over in more than just one way.

He wondered, for one moment, if Keith would even allow his brother to touch him after all that. He banished the thought to the depths of his mind.

\- I hope we have reached an agreement now.

Kuro touched Keith’s arms, fully intending to free him and then to flee from the room. He still watched his own feelings from the outside, disconnected from them. Shame was the biggest of them, so he supposed that he had to run.

Before he could untie the belt, Keith looked at him again  over his shoulder.

He was making an effort to not cry. Even marred with tears, Keith’s eyes were still bright like a burning sun and full of determination.

\- ‘m not quittin’

Kuro didn’t know what he was feeling.

It was ugly and painful.

It was _bad_ , a feeling that hurt him.

He gritted his teeth.

Kuro pushed Keith’s head against the pillow once again. He opened the nightstand drawer and took out the lube.

\- I think you want to drop things here. Just say so and I’ll stop.

_Please, just give up._

Kuro begged in his head.

_Make me stop._

_Please, Keith, make me stop._

_Please._

Keith glared over his shoulder.

\- ‘m not quittin’

Kuro clenched his jaw.

\- Very well.

He uncapped the bottle of lube.

He was still slave to his despair.

He needed to push Keith away.

He needed to protect himself.

No matter the cost.

That was the only reason he was doing that this way. If he was thinking straight, Kuro would realize that he didn’t have clear consent. Keith was helpless, and even if he wasn’t saying “no” to this, he wasn’t saying “yes” either.

He could feel Shiro, restless, at the back of his mind.

His conscience.

His impulse control.

And Kuro had paralyzed him.

Since their reunion, Shiro and Keith had been having only vanilla sex. Keith had been faithful that whole time, even if Shiro had been declared dead. Meaning that it was more than one year since the last time Keith had bottomed.

Kuro’s two fingers could feel how tight the walls of Keith’s ass were. The heat was almost unbearable, filling Kuro with filthy desire.

He curled his fingers and scissored them.

Keith moaned in between his sobs. His voice was breaking and he had hot tears running down his beautiful face. His hips were up and his breathing was labored.

Kuro added a third finger and earned a tearful cry.

\- Last warning, Keith. Forget the subject. Forget that I exist. Just do it and I’ll stop.

He took his fingers out of Keith.

_Please, make me stop._

_I don’t know how to stop anymore._

_Please._

_Please!_

_PLEASE!_

Oh, but Keith caught his breath just enough to glare over his shoulder.

His eyes…

Full of the hottest star, burning like an entire galaxy in devotion and determination.

Kuro was the sole object of his focus, the center of his rage and universe.

\- Never. – Keith replied with a frown and certainty forged by fire.

Kuro was paralyzed.

He felt disconnected from himself.

A stranger in his own skin.

A stranger in his own mind.

He nodded slowly, as if in a daze himself.

\- Suit yourself.

He opened his pants.

Kuro was hard.

He should feel filthy for that, shouldn’t he?

But he was numb.

He could almost hear Shiro’s screams inside their head.

Almost.

It was still faint as a whisper in the dark.

Kuro was compelled to act, no matter what.

He was a monster anyway.

He always only cared about himself.

A selfish monster protecting no one.

Only himself.

No matter how much he tried to hide behind noble justifications.

In the end, he was just that.

Some heartless beast.

The Champion.

He wasn’t protecting Shiro, but hurting him.

He wasn’t protecting Keith, but hurting him.

He took a condom from the drawer and rolled it over his dick.

He pushed inside Keith in one go.

Keith cried.

He dictated a ruthless and brutal rhythm, one that would be too much for Keith’s bruised ass. His movements were hard and fast, pulling almost his whole cock out,only to slam it back in again.

The sounds in the room were of flesh slapping against flesh and Keith’s cries mixed with moans.

He was holding Keith’s hips like a vice with his right hand, leaving marks on the already-bruised skin. His left hand pulled harshly at Keith’s hair, making him crane his neck painfully.

By the crescendo of the moans, Kuro knew he was hitting Keith’s prostate with every hard slam. The walls of his ass clenched around Kuro’s cock, making him feel even worse with that dirty pleasure.

He was close.

\- Give up. – he groaned quietly into Keith’s ear. – Just do it.

 _Please_.

Keith gritted his teeth.

\- Never!

Kuro didn’t know what made him do that.

He just did.

He just bit down on Keith’s shoulder.

Like an animal, marking an insubordinate mate.

Keith came on the spot, with a loud shout.

Kuro continued his brutal pace for four more thrusts before he came with a shameful grunt.

He collapsed on top of Keith, his teeth still buried in his flesh.

The first think Kuro noticed when he recovered was the metallic taste in his mouth.

Blood.

Keith’s blood.

He had bitten him so hard on the left shoulder that it had drawn blood and worst:

It would leave a scar.

If Keith didn’t go to a healing pod, that would leave a nasty scar on his shoulder.

The second thing was Keith’s sobs.

Open and pitiful sobs.

He was hiding his face in the pillow.

Kuro took his dick out of him.

Gingerly, he pulled the condom out and thrown it away. He put his cock inside his pants again and zipped the zipper.

He finally untied Keith's wrists, letting the belt fall on the floor with a thud.

Kuro refused to look at the state Keith was in.

_What have I done?_

He was ready to flee.

Ready to hide in a dark hole and die.

He was a monster, he belonged to a dark abyss of loneliness or to the cold of oblivion.

He had hurt Keith in ways any human being with a minimum of decency wouldn’t do.

He didn’t even know why.

He could have punched him.

Fought with his iron fists.

Why did he do that?

Why?

He was such of a broken monster that he didn’t even know why.

Kuro was ready to flee when a feeble grasp stopped him.

Soft fingers grabbing onto his metal hand.

Keith had stretched out his arm and grabbed his hand to stop him from leaving.

His hold was frail. Kuro could break free just as easy as ripping off butterflies’ wings. He could.

Oh, but he wouldn’t.

He just… couldn’t.

Keith’s eyes were puffy and still brimming with tears. He had never seen him so vulnerable and helpless before, with the blue of his eyes showing an openness vaster than the night sky. A lost boy watching to the stars by his own, looking for someone.

Anyone.

Looking for him.

That protective instinct, the same one that Kuro had had since the very first night with Keith, assaulted him.

He couldn’t resist those blue eyes.

Not when they were that open and fragile.

He never could.

That vulnerability in Keith’s face and expression was _still_ the most **beautiful** thing Kuro had ever seen. He was putting his heart and soul in Kuro’s hands. His and his alone to bend and shape however he wanted, to break or to fortify.

Even if Kuro was convinced that he didn’t deserve that, he couldn’t say no.

Keith tried to articulate a word, but he was far too gone and crying too hard.

Kuro sighed.

He should leave.

But Keith’s feeble hold on him seemed like a loud plea that he couldn’t possibly ignore.

_Stay…_

_Lord…_ \- Kuro prayed in his head - _Show me how to say no to this._ _I can’t… I need, but I can’t…_

He gently helped Keith to turn on his side,grabbed a paper tissue from the nightstand and cleaned him the best way he could. Kuro finished by covering Keith’s bruised body with the blanket.

Keith’s eyes still burned with the same plea as before, in between hiccups and tears.

_Stay…_

Kuro wouldn’t dare to touch him anymore.

He didn’t deserve that.

He would only break him more.

(Or so Kuro believed.)

He sat back on the bed with his back facing Keith.

Keith curled his body around him slowly. He moaned softly in pain.

Kuro’s hands were on top of the mattress. Keith put his hand over the metal hand, the one that was closer to him.

Even if Kuro didn’t have tactile sensations in that hand anymore, that gentle touch seemed to electrify him.

He pulled away.

That hand, that mark that he was nothing but a mindless monster, that despicable steel abomination shouldn’t touch Keith.

At all.

The fact that it was the first thing Kuro used in his torture wasn’t lost to him and only made him hate himself more.

Keith gasped at the lost contact with the hand, and that soft sound seemed to shatter any resolution that Kuro had. Before Keith could make another distress sound, Kuro grabbed his hand with his left hand, the flesh one.

Maybe the last sign of humanity that he had.

The position was weird, but Kuro couldn’t find a single cell in his body with the will to turn to look at Keith again or to let go of his hand.

In between hiccups, Keith sighed. He held the hand between his own with tenderness.

They stayed like that for a while. Keith’s soft sobs were the only sound in the room.

Kuro could feel that Shiro had left his daze and was glaring at him in the back of their mind. It was a coldness like no other, even worse than when he had the first fight with Keith.

Kuro ignored them, even if both silences, Keith’s and Shiro’s, were heavy on his shoulders.

After a while, Keith stopped crying and his breath slowly went back to normal. He was breathing deeply. Kuro knew that he would fall asleep at any moment.

At last, he pulled his hand away. Keith didn’t chase after his touch this time.

Kuro didn’t look back at him again.

He would be destroyed if he did.

He didn't want to see what was in Keith's eyes now.

He would be destroyed.

He just walked away from the room.

Three corridors away, he gently let his brother take the wheel.

“How could you…?” Shiro asked lowly, with cold anger.

Kuro didn’t answer.

“KURO, FUCKING ANSWER ME!”

Kuro curled into himself.

“He won’t bother us anymore.”

Shiro’s outrage and fury hit Kuro like an arctic tsunami.

“You raped him.” Shiro trembled with rage.

Kuro didn’t answer. He just let himself fall into the abyss of his mind.

Praying to just disappear.

Shiro screamed at him for what seemed to be hours. However, he had absolutely no courage to face Keith. Shiro cried after that. Rivers of painful tears. An utter despair of a man who had lost the person he loved most.

Kuro had hurt him too.

Hurting the two people he loved most at the same time.

 _Monster_.

After asking Pidge how she was going with the codes found in his arm (with a fake smile on his face), Shiro prepared to sleep in one of the unused common rooms. His pain was almost tanglible. He cried himself to sleep.

Kuro had a nightmare that night.

He saw Keith chained to Haggar’s table. She was flaying  his skin slowly while Keith screamed and cried. Kuro shouted. He needed to save him, but someone was holding him back. He fought against his captor with anger. However, when he looked up, he saw his own face,with golden and cruel eyes: The Champion. The Champion laughed and asked, “What's the matter? Have you never seen a mirror before?”

He woke up screaming.

As always, Shiro woke up with him. However, this time his brother was still silent.

No comforting words.

No reassurance.

No sympathy for the devil, huh?

Kuro would be lying if he said that that didn't affect him.

He felt like crying, but he held back his tears.

Monsters don't deserve to cry.

He offered control over the body quietly to Shiro. Like some peace offering.

Shiro didn't answer, nor did he take the offer.

Kuro never felt so alone and so disgusting.

He couldn't sleep, at least not now. Thus, Kuro walked towards the training room.

He felt like a ghost haunting his own body, a spirit lost in the empty halls.

Kuro never made to his intended destination, for the path he chose passed by the infirmary.

There was light coming from there, from an active healing pod.

Keith was inside it.

Kuro lost his breath.

Keith had put his clothes back on. He looked so relaxed and calm, sleeping peacefully inside the pod.

Kuro felt himself tremble.

He clenched his fists and his jaw, but he couldn’t make himself walk a step further.

He walked back.

He spent the rest of the night cycle training in the empty common room and feeling like an abomination.

Shiro stayed quiet the whole time.

When morning came, they switched places wordlessly. Shiro's anger was still thick, hard and cold.

There wasn't a thing that Kuro wanted more than to just disappear.

He was like a cockroach, he guessed. Hard to kill.

\- Morning, Shiro! - Hunk saluted his brother when he got to the kitchen - Rough night?

Shiro sighed.

\- Kinda. But why do you ask?

\- You don't look so good, man. Are you wearing yesterday's clothes?

\- I… yeah… I fell asleep in a common room reading.

Hunk served him the breakfast he prepared for the team.

\- Maybe then you should take it easy today? I’ve talked to Pidge. Apparently the Galra use a different code, one that she’s still trying to crack.

\- So no coordinates today?

\- Yeah, probably not. I'll help her after eating, and you should sleep!

He sat down to eat with Shiro with a pleased smile.

\- Speaking of sleep, why didn't Keith drag you to bed?

Kuro felt tendrils of shame and fear running down his spine.

\- Oh, I told him to go ahead and that I would join him later. - Shiro shrugged with fake nonchalance and a staged smile - Guess I fell asleep before that, huh?

His demeanor towards his brother was still cold.

Hunk laughed.

\- You better watch out. He’ll be pissed, man.

Shiro didn't have the heart to fake a laugh.

Kuro could feel his anger and bitterness like a blizzard.

He curled inside himself, tuning out of the conversation and the shared vision. Giving his brother distance (or as much as he could, in their condition).

Kuro entertained himself with his self-hatred.

However, he felt Shiro's heartbeat accelerate with fear and dread not long after.

He looked back, and lost his breath completely.

Keith was at the kitchen door.

He was still in his pyjamas and soft with sleep. He yawned.

\- Morning.

\- Morning, Keith! - Hunk answered in a chipper tone.

Kuro could feel that Shiro was frozen in place, terrified by how the man he loved would react next. Kuro was not far from panicking himself.

Keith gave them a sleepy smile and the brothers lost their collective breath.

What was going on?

The situation felt like some weird dream, for Keith made a beeline for them and kissed Shiro's lips in greeting.

\- Morning, Takashi.

“What.”

“The.”

“Heck.” “Fuck.”

\- You didn't come to bed last night. - Keith complained, exasperated, and then sat down beside them, as if that was the most natural thing for him to do.

Both brothers were still stunned, in complete shock.

\- Shiro, are you OK? - Hunk asked while passing Keith the substitute for coffee he had come up with.

Kuro was analyzing and re-analyzing the situation and Keith's body language.

He wasn't faking. He was genuinely relaxed beside them, even leaning a little in their direction. Just as if that was a perfectly normal morning, when Keith would be cuddlier before his first cup of coffee. However, even if his stare was soft, he was also analyzing the brothers every movement.

This time, Kuro watched and he was being watched back.

The odd thing was that there was no accusation in his eyes. Just the extra gentleness that would appear after a very restful night of sleep (or sometimes after one of their intense scenes) and a genuine curiosity.  

\- Shiro? - Keith asked gently.

There was something in the way that he said his brother’s name that made shivers run down Kuro’s spine.

Shivers of excitement.

He didn't know why.

Why would he be excited by that?

Keith put his hand over Shiro’s tenderly.

Kuro felt Shiro shudder for a second before faking a smile.

\- I'm fine, baby. Just tired. The sofa wasn't that good for my back.

Keith chuckled and interlaced their fingers.

\- You're getting old, Takashi.

Still in his cuddly mood, Keith kissed Shiro's cheek.

It was so natural and relaxed that Hunk didn't even bat an eyelash at their public display of affection.

Shiro on the other hand, was barely able to keep his mask on. Only years of practice that made it possible for him to keep the smile in place.

That seemed to break the ice between the brothers.

“He’s furious, isn't he?” Shiro asked quietly.

Kuro stared at Keith’s soft eyes and relaxed posture before answering.

“No… he isn’t faking. At all.”

“How can that be possible after what you did?”

Kuro didn't answer.

After drinking his coffee, Keith seemed to be more alert, but he still leaned on Shiro. Lance and Pidge showed up not long after, both yawning. No one ever commented on Shiro or Keith's behavior.

Kuro was wary.

What the fuck was happening?

\- Shiro? You OK? - Keith asked again, now that he was more awake.

He was still holding hands with Shiro.

\- Can… can we talk? - Shiro asked, quiet and insecure.

Kuro felt just as worried (he didn't know why).

(He didn't understand his own feelings anymore).

Keith hummed.

\- Sure. Let's go.

He pulled them up by the hand.

\- Pidge, how’re you doing with the code? - Keith asked before leaving.

\- Kinda good. I mean, I was... - she yawned - I was comparing the codes to Rover’s old codes. But apparently, those spies use something different from the Empire.

\- Make sense. - Hunk nodded - I mean, they wouldn't want someone to be able to decode their messages easily.

\- Do you think they’ve got sexy spies? - Lance asked with a dreamy smirk - Like the Black Widow or something?

Keith, Hunk and Pidge rolled their eyes.

\- Lance, that’s irrelevant.

\- Hey! A guy can dream!

\- You should be more worried about whether they’ll help us. - Keith said seriously.

Lance repeated what Keith said in a mocking tone.

Keith rolled his eyes.

\- Yeah, very mature, Lance. - he tugged on Shiro’s hand again. - I'm gonna make sure Shiro sleep a little. Can you call us if you discover something?

\- Sure! - Pidge smiled - Take care of him, kitty!

Shiro was still tense and didn't react. Keith squeezed his hand as a reminder that he should react. Shiro feigned a pout.

\- I can take care of myself.

All the other Paladins snorted.

\- Whatever you say, man. - Lance laughed.

Keith tugged at his hand again and they left the kitchen.

He was walking ahead of the brothers, pulling their hand with certainty.

\- Keith… - Shiro called quietly.

\- Hum?

The words were caught in Shiro's throat. Kuro could almost hear them.

_I'm sorry._

_You didn't deserve any of that._

_I couldn't stop him._

_Please, forgive me._

Keith looked behind him. His eyes were still soft.

\- What is it, Shiro?

The way he was saying “Shiro” with that quiet, albeit confident, tone intrigued and scared Kuro. What the hell was happening?

Shiro stuttered and tripped over his words.

Keith seemed to notice. He smiled gently.

\- Hey… - he kissed Shiro's lips - Don't worry your pretty little mind.

\- But yesterday-!

\- Shhhh…

Keith kissed him again.

\- It’s fine, Takashi, it’s fine. But we’d better talk about it in the bedroom.

“Kuro?” Shiro asked with a small voice, full of uncertainty and a fear of losing Keith.

Kuro (metaphorically) narrowed his eyes.

His posture, his expression, his words and his eyes: everything about Keith pointed to him being relaxed in Shiro's arms.

No fear.

No disgust.

No anger.

Just the same love they had basked themselves in so many times.

“ _Kuro_?”

“He… he isn’t faking. He isn’t forcing himself to touch you, if that’s what you are wondering.”

“…how is that even possible?!”

“Beats me.”

\- Shiro?

Shiro nodded slowly. Kuro watched from his position in shotgun.

Keith smiled, intertwining their fingers again and guiding him towards the bedroom.

Kuro watched with renewed paranoia.

He was navigating through unknown waters, a situation that made him even doubt his own abilities to read people. After all, how could Keith allow either of them near him, after what Kuro had done?

Yet, Keith was acting just as normal as he could be (maybe a little bit cuddlier than normal, but nothing that they hadn’t seen before). There was no hesitation, no fear, no restraint.

Kuro was beyond wary.

As soon as the door closed, Shiro was starting to apologize, even if he had no idea what to say.

\- Keith…

He bit his lip.

Kuro watched Keith intensely.

Keith waited Shiro to gather his thoughts for about a minute before giving him a smug little smile.

\- Shiro. – he said playfully.

There was something in the way he was saying his brother’s name that was bothering Kuro and he didn’t know why. For fuck’s sake! He had heard Keith say Shiro’s name more than a thousand times!

What was so different this time?

Shiro looked away with shame and hurt.

\- I’m sorry.

Keith blinked.

\- For what?

Shiro took a deep breath.

\- For what Kuro did…

Keith shrugged.

\- Yeah, he was a little rougher than usual. But don’t worry, I’m a big boy, I can handle some tough love.

Kuro couldn’t help but feel a _déjà vu_.

\- Besides, - Keith continued – it wasn’t his or my first rodeo.

\- Keith, he… he…

Shiro swallowed his words.

Kuro hid within himself. He could still listen but he wasn’t looking.

It would hurt when Keith admitted to what he had done.

\- He was rough, yeah, I’ve already established that. – Keith said, his tone mildly annoyed – But that was Kuro.

The way Keith said _his_ name made Kuro feel a thrill that he didn’t know how to deal with. He just stayed in his dark and cold abyss, just listening.

He felt his brother blush and his heart accelerate with love. If he had to guess he would say that Keith had just kissed him.

\- And you are Shiro. – Keith concluded – I know, you’re probably a little freaked out because of how rough he was yesterday. But it is OK, Shiro.

“Kuro?” Shiro called on him to read Keith's expression.

He didn’t answer.

“ _Kuro!_ ”

He just drowned himself deeper, so that not even sound reached him.

He felt numb.

It was a weird sensation. He was watching his brother go through the rest of the day, but with no sound and without being able to understand what was happening. Like watching a surreal German movie with no subtitles.

He had no idea what was happening.

All what he knew was that Keith was there most of the time. Cuddlier and affectionate, like a very pleased cat.

Kuro liked cats.

Shiro napped in Keith’s arms, dragging Kuro with him to dreamland.

Kuro had no idea when they woke up. Suddenly they were out.

He could still feel Shiro’s distress (even if it was a little muted), so he looked back again at what was happening.

It was lunch. All of team Voltron was eating together. Pidge ate quickly and excused herself to keep trying to decode the information found in the brothers’ arm. The rest talked about silly things.

Shiro still seemed worried about Keith, but at least Kuro couldn’t feel the waves of hate anymore.

“I can feel you, you know?” Shiro asked, in a mix of exasperation and amusement.

Kuro (metaphorically) nodded.

“Have you talked to him?”

“Maybe.” He sighed. “Keith said that it was all fine, but that he would only speak about the details with you.”

Kuro felt a shiver of dread down his spine.

“I don’t want to talk.”

“I don’t think he will give you that option.”

Shiro seemed like as if he was ruminating on something in his mind, but he didn’t verbalize that for his brother.

After lunch, Keith took them by the hand again, but this time he led the way to an unoccupied common room. It was more comfortable than the one the brothers spent the night in, and it had big windows that let them see the stars.

Keith smiled.

They were sitting face to face on a comfortable sofa.

\- Are you two feeling calm?

Shiro sighed.

\- I’m calm, just really confused. And you refuse to explain any more.

\- I already told you that all that happened was with my permission. Now, are you relaxed and calm?

He nodded.

\- Yeah, baby. As calm and relaxed as I can be in this situation.

Keith snorted.

\- I’ll take it.

He kissed Shiro just for good measure.

\- And Kuro? - he asked with a quirked eyebrow.

Shiro sighed again.

\- It’s hard to say. He… he hadn't been himself since we came back. Not really.

Keith nodded.

\- Makes sense. And you said that he refuses to switch unless extremely necessary or when he snaps?

\- That depends on what you would consider “necessary”. - Shiro answered with a hint of sarcasm - Since he had been slacking in his duties at several moments.

“Fuck you, Shiro.”

Shiro metaphorically showed Kuro the middle finger.

Keith chuckled.

\- Are you saying that to me or to him? - he asked, amused.

Shiro sighed.

\- Both, I guess.

Keith hummed.

\- Can I talk to him? I think a new perspective might be good.

Shiro shrugged.

\- Even if I thought that is a good idea, which I don't, by the way, he probably would refuse.

\- Oh, really? - Keith seemed amused and smug - Very well then. Maybe one of the others will be more successful.

With great horror, Kuro saw Keith stand up and walk away.

\- DON’T YOU DARE! – Kuro shouted with rage.

Keith looked back with a smirk.

\- Hello, Kuro. Are you going to talk to me now?

Kuro stood with his fists clenched.

\- You stop right there!

Keith didn’t even answer. He just shrugged and continued to walk away.

Kuro caught up with him when both of them were almost to the corridor.

He pushed him against the wall, trapping Keith with his body.

\- Do you think this is a fucking game!? – he growled into Keith’s ear.

“Kuro! Stop!” Shiro shouted at him.

Kuro growled.

 _Sleep_.

Shiro cursed him before falling into the numb state.

Oddly enough, Keith seemed unfazed.

\- You tell me. – he answered in a calm tone, looking over his shoulder in defiance.

Kuro knocked into him again, snarling.

\- You have to learn how to shut the fuck up.

\- Or what? You’re going to punish me?

Keith was breathless, but had an amused smile on his lips.

He looked back again with his pupils dilated with arousal.

Kuro growled.

\- So is that why you’re doing this? Because you are horny?

Keith sighed.

\- No, it isn’t. I really want to talk to you.

\- Liar.

Kuro slammed him against the wall again, before snaking his hand in front of Keith and opening his belt.

\- Bondage with my belt again? – Keith asked, amused, as his dagger fell to the ground – You used to be more original than that.

Kuro growled and wrapped the belt around Keith’s throat and pulled it tight.

\- Is this creative enough for you, whore?

Keith gasped for a few moments when Kuro pulled on the belt. When he let go of his grip, Keith coughed.

Then he glared over his shoulder.

\- I don’t like being called names. Don't do it.

\- You are in no position to make demands, slut.

Now Keith had a flare of anger in his eyes.

\- Don’t call me that.

Kuro pulled on the belt, making Keith lost his breath again.

\- Isn’t that what you wanted? To be fucked where everyone can see how much of a cheap who-

Kuro didn’t get to finish his sentence.

Keith slammed his head into Kuro’s face. That made Kuro draw back enough that Keith could elbow him hard in the ribs.

In pain, Kuro took a few steps back. Keith used the opening to kick him in the shins, making Kuro fall ungraciously on his back. He pinned Kuro to the ground with fast and precise movements. Kuro had no idea when Keith had grabbed his dagger, but now he was pressing it against Kuro’s throat.

\- Call me that again, and I’ll rip your balls off. – he said in a hoarse voice, the belt still around his neck.

Kuro could see now that he had made Keith furious like he had never seen before. His eyes were burning with wrath and his glare seemed stronger than the biggest black hole.

However, he couldn’t help but notice that the anger was hiding fear…

What was that fear?

Kuro stared at him, thunderstruck and in complete awe.

Still glaring, Keith stood.

\- Don’t you forget for one goddamn second that the only reason you laid a fucking finger on me was because **_I_** allowed it.

His eyes were blazing and burning Kuro alive.

\- You don’t get to cross a line that I drew, do you understand? And don’t you dare come near me now.

Under Kuro’s astonished stare, Keith took the belt off his neck and put it back in place, along with his dagger sheath.

He walked away after glaring one last time at Kuro.

Kuro stayed there, dumbfounded, until he heard Shiro clapping his hands in the back of their mind.

“Holy shit!” Shiro said in awe. “He told the truth!”

Kuro blinked in confusion.

“What?”

Shiro rolled his eyes.

“While you were hiding and not paying attention, he told me that what happened yesterday only happened because he wanted to. I… I thought he was in denial of what happened or something. But, Holy Shit!”

Kuro was more awed than before.

“He… he could have stopped…?”

“Yeah. According to Keith, he let you have fun. He thought that it would make you more open to talking later.” Shiro blushed. “And he said he was missing that kind of sex so I guess it was… it was… _fun_ for him too.”

Still laying on the floor, Kuro looked to the ceiling.

That was… _fun_ to Keith?

What the hell?

However, Keith had been furious with him this time. Which was understandable. He crossed a line. He should have stopped when he was told to the first time. The punishment (and threat) seemed appropriate.

Oh, but why Keith was also afraid?

Kuro was really curious and concerned with that fear in Keith's eyes.

“Shiro, there was something wrong with him.”

“Well, considering that you kinda ignored his boundaries,” Shiro shrugged, “it was natural for him to get angry.”

Kuro sat down on the floor.

“Shiro, he was also scared.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, I don’t know why.”

Some memories floated across Kuro’s mind, of the few times Keith had to call out the safeword to stop. He never understood why, but there was always fear in Keith’s eyes, and a painful fragility that didn’t match his strong demeanour.

“Did he tell you something about it?”

Shiro shook his head.

“No. He just reassured me that yesterday was not rape.”

Kuro lowered his head.

“He’s probably in denial.”

“Yeah, I thought that. But after seeing him handle you with that ease, I’m a lot more relaxed to say that he let you have your way yesterday.”

“I’m still worried about that fear. Could you… hum… Could you…”

Shiro rolled his eyes, but snorted. His good humor was coming back slowly.

“Talk to him and fix your mess?”

Kuro sighed.

“I was going to say ‘see if he’s OK’, but that works too, I guess.”

Shiro took control of the body again while Kuro watched. He waited a few hours, probably to allow Keith to cool off before trying to talk to him.

That fear that Kuro had seen in his eyes was not something new. He remembered it being there whenever Keith had to use the color “Red” in their scenes. Also, every time he had one of his nightmares, one that he refused to tell them about, that same fear was present.

What was it?

Why did being called degrading names trigger such strong reactions in him?

Kuro was worried, but he couldn’t put his finger on exactly what.

Shiro found him on the training room that evening.

\- Huh, Keith, baby, can we talk?

Keith defeated the gladiator (a level four! He was getting better!) before glaring over his shoulder. He studied Shiro for a moment before relaxing, sighing and putting away the bayard.

\- He sent you as a diplomat, Shiro?

He had a tired smile on his face.

Both brothers blinked.

\- How did you know it was me and not Kuro? - Shiro asked surprised.

Keith chuckled and came closer to him.

\- You two could’ve fooled me before, but now that I know what I’m looking for, I can catch the little things that differentiate you two.

\- Huh?

\- You look more like a cute puppy than him.

Shiro pouted.

\- I do not!

Keith laughed and stood on the tips of his toes. Shiro smiled when Keith kissed him on the lips.

\- He didn't send me to play diplomat. Kuro’s worried about you, and so am I.

Keith shrugged, but Kuro could see that there was something carefully staged in that nonchalant answer.

\- I'm OK, Takashi. He just stepped on one of my pet peeves, that is all.

“He’s lying.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Please, ask him more, but be gentle.” Kuro narrowed his eyes. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Copy that, Leia.”

\- It didn't seem to be just that. - Shiro caressed Keith's nape, and Keith closed his eyes and relaxed - You seemed afraid, baby.

Keith looked away.

\- Do we really have to talk about it? - he bit his lip.

\- We’re worried about you, babe.

\- ‘We’? I thought he didn't pay attention to things outside your head.

Shiro sighed.

\- We used to share our daily life. We switched according to the occasion and the other stayed watching.

Keith smirked.

\- I didn't know that you two were voyeurs.

Shiro blushed.

\- Keith…

\- OK! OK! - Keith laughed - I'm just messing with you. Besides, if it was only one of you watching I don't mind.

He kissed Shiro again.

\- But you said that he’s different now.

Shiro nodded.

\- Kuro… Kuro didn't come back the same from the year with the Galra. He… knocked me out. I don't know exactly how he can do that, but he made me sleep and took all the impact of that year on his own. To sum up, he’s more selective now of how much he interact and watch.

\- And now he’s watching? - Keith narrowed his eyes, displeased.

\- Yeah… he’s worried about you. He’s the one who figured out that we should worry about your reaction. What’s wrong, baby?

Keith looked away.

\- Nothing.

\- Keith…

\- I'm fine, OK!?

Keith tried to walk away, but Shiro held him gently.

\- Hey… Hey… easy, baby.

Keith stayed, but Kuro couldn't help but think he looked like a scared cat.

\- I'm on your side. - Shiro kissed his forehead - We’re just really worried about you. Especially because after what happened yesterday.

Keith groaned.

\- For the last time, Shiro: Kuro didn't rape me! We had rough sex, but it was still consensual.

\- Keith, you didn't say he could do that.

\- Shiro, most of the time we had sex, we just started kissing and went on. Should I be worried about what you’re thinking during those times too?

\- It was different yesterday, Keith.

\- Why?

Shiro sighed.

\- He was… more aggressive… he didn't give you the option to quit…

\- Shiro, what are you talking about? He asked me if I wanted to quit almost every two minutes!

\- No, he demanded you drop the subject.

Keith quirked an eyebrow.

\- You really underestimate me, huh? You know that I could just say that I would drop it and then call for reinforcements, right?

\- He would know if you were lying.

\- He was barely looking me in the eye! Besides, I could just kick his ass if I wasn't interested or just agree to let that go. Unless you’re telling me that he wouldn't have stopped, that wasn't rape.

Shiro looked at Kuro in a silent question.

Kuro sighed.

“Of course I would stop.” He looked away. “But I shouldn’t have done it anyway. It still wasn't right, what I did.”

Shiro nodded.

\- Yeah… he said to me he would have stopped. But...

\- No, Shiro, hear me out: it was consensual, he would have stopped if I asked and I wanted that. It wasn't rape. Believe me, I would know if it was rape.

Something about the way he said that made shivers run down Kuro’s spine and made Shiro gasp.

\- What do you mean by that?

Keith paled. There was the same fear in his eyes. He looked away.

\- Just that it would be obvious if it were rape.

\- Keith…

\- OK then! - even Shiro could see that Keith was feigning cheerfulness - Since we have it all figured out-

\- Keith.

Keith stopped talking and clenched his jaw, looking away from the brothers.

He didn’t need to say anything more.

The conclusion seemed to be pretty obvious, by the way his eyes were looking away.

Shiro sighed.

\- I'm sorry, baby. You don't have to tell me anything.

“He has to tell me,” Kuro growled.

“Kuro, no.” Shiro sighed. “He doesn't owe us any explanation.”

“I want names, Shiro.”

Kuro felt his blood boiling like it had never happened before.

One of the two people he loved most, that he loved more than his own life, had been hurt in one of the most disgusting and cruel ways possible. Kuro wanted to know when it happened, where it happened and, most important, who was the fucker Kuro had to kill. He might not have been there to protect Keith when it happened, but he was there now and he would make fucking sure he was avenged.

Shiro’s sadness at the information was almost tangible. However, he still resisted.

“Kuro, he doesn't want to tell us anything.”

“I need to know who they are.”

Kuro started to struggle to take control of their body, but Shiro fought with tooth and nail.

\- Kuro, no! - he grunted - Stop it!

“Let me talk to him, Shiro.”

\- Kuro…!

\- Shiro?

Keith held his face between his hands.

\- Are you all right?

“Shiro, I need to know.”

\- I'm sorry, Keith. - Shiro frowned, still fighting to stay in control - He’s really being _impossible_ about it.

Keith rolled his eyes.

\- Let me guess: Kuro’s pissed that I didn't inform him that I was damaged goods?

It hurt Kuro to hear Keith speak about himself like that.

How could the most brave, handsome and amazing man in the entire universe think that about his own self?

“Shiro! I NEED to speak with him!”

Shiro gripped on Keith's arms, still fighting for control.

\- I'm sorry, Keith. - he sighed, leaning his head on Keith's shoulder for support - I don't think I can keep holding on.

\- Hey… - Keith kissed his cheek, caressing his nape and the side of his body - It’s OK, Shiro. I can deal with Kuro. As I told _and_ showed you, he won't touch me unless I let him.

Shiro sighed.

\- I love you, baby. No matter what. You aren't damaged, you’re perfect.

Keith snorted.

\- I'm far from that, but I love you too, Takashi.

Shiro closed his eyes and glared at Kuro.

“Don’t you dare to hurt him.”

Kuro nodded.

“Not even in my worst nightmares would I hurt him.”

Shiro sighed and let Kuro take the wheel, while sitting in shotgun, annoyed.

Kuro opened his eyes, staring deeply into Keith’s blue ones.

\- Who did that? – he growled lowly.

He was still holding onto Keith’s arms, but now his hold was firm and desperate.

Keith rolled his eyes.

\- No one for you to worry about, Kuro.

\- I need names, Keith!

\- No you don’t. I’m not the one who isn’t dealing well with my trauma.

He pushed Kuro’s hands away from him and took a step back, crossing his arms over his chest.

He was more guarded with him than he was with Shiro.

\- You freaked out today!

\- No, you were the one that overstepped boundaries. – another eyeroll – I told you that I don’t like being called that and you ignored it. The reasons why I don’t like that are irrelevant.

\- Keith, who are they!? Who did this to you!? – Kuro demanded.

Keith stared at him, judging Kuro’s intentions.

\- If I tell you, will you agree to tell me what happened in your year with the Galra?

\- That’s different!

\- No, it isn’t.

\- Yes it is! I can seek revenge for you!

Keith groaned.

\- Kuro, I don’t need you or anybody to avenge me.

\- Keith-

\- No, I don’t! I don’t need a knight in shining armor to defend my honor! I’m a survivor, I can defend myself.

\- I need to know! – Kuro shouted.

\- Why? So you can mock me?!

Kuro gasped at him offended.

\- I would never-!

\- Someone like you would never understand. – Keith glared before turning his back on Kuro - So why bother?

He was going to walk away, still angry with Kuro.

No, worse than that:

Keith was walking away while thinking that Kuro wouldn’t understand what he felt.

Kuro couldn’t have that.

Keith needed to know that he was loved and that Kuro _knew_ what it was like.

His oldest secret.

His Pandora box, sealed under years and year of bloody fists and hidden pain. A secret that he had kept for all those years in order to protect Shiro from the truth.

Oh, but in his head, Kuro knew how terrible was to feel like nobody believed in him. To think that he was a liar or just to be mocked about the abuse.

He had been there.

Shiro’s discomfort wouldn’t compare to the pain that Keith must be feeling.

Kuro steeled his will and clenched his fists.

\- You never asked how my brother and I came to be.

Keith stopped and looked over his shoulder, unimpressed.

\- Does that matter?

\- For this conversation, - Kuro gulped – yes it does.

He could feel Shiro staring at him very intensely. That was a piece of information that he had been expecting for the last seventeen years, ever since the first time they interacted, on that night when he asked if Kuro liked bubble baths.

 _Please, forgive me_ … Kuro thought with tension in his shoulders.

Keith sighed, rolled his eyes again and turned to look at Kuro again with an annoyed frown.

\- Yeah?

Kuro sighed and looked away.

He felt small and dirty near Keith and his intense blue eyes.

\- At some point, there was a boy… - Kuro could feel his voice wavering. He looked away from Keith - Let’s call him Takashi. He was six years old and he was a good boy. One night, his father entered his bedroom late at night, stinking of cigarettes and alcohol…

He couldn’t go on.

There was a knot on his throat that didn’t allow him to continue.

Saying that out loud was worse than what he had ever imagined.

He dared to look at Keith again.

His expression had shifted from annoyance to disbelief, then to comprehension and finally to shock. His eyes were comically wide and his lips parted in astonishment.

Kuro swallow the knot in his throat.

\- At some point, there were two boys…

Keith’s hand covered his mouth.

\- Oh, god…

Kuro forced a smile and shrugged.

\- My point is, - he swallowed again, forcing the knot to dissipate – I know… what it is like...

His expression was hard again.

\- I want the names so I can rip their throats out with my bare hands.

Keith stared at him with that shocked expression for a few moments before taking a few careful steps towards him. He sighed.

\- It… it doesn’t matter.

\- Keith…

\- That’s in the past, Kuro. And the past can’t hurt me anymore, even if it left scars.

Gently, Keith held Kuro’s face between his palms. Kuro sighed into the touch.

\- I survived. I got stronger. That doesn’t define me.

\- You just called yourself “damaged goods”.

Keith rolled his eyes.

\- I had one or two boyfriends who thought that of me. One of them even called me that. I’m sorry, I thought you would be this type of man. – he chuckled – I think I should have guessed that you would be the “knight in shining armor” type.

\- What’s wrong with that?

\- Kuro, I don’t need someone to save or to avenge me. I just… I just need you to be here with me. Both of you. That is all I ask, and all I need.

Kuro growled (Keith was unfazed).

\- Keith, I’m a monster. Let me at least use that to avenge you.

That made Keith look at him weirdly.

\- You aren’t a monster. What the fuck you are talking about?

Kuro’s words were caught in his throat.

He felt ashamed and disgusted with himself.

Shiro sighed.

“Oh, Kuro… You’re no monster…”

Keith gently grabbed Kuro’s metal hand and held it between them.

\- Do you mean this? – he asked gently – And the rest of the scars package?

Kuro didn’t answer immediately. Only when Keith tried to bring the metal hand to his lips did he react.

\- Don’t.

He tried to pull his hand away, but Keith held it firmly.

\- That’s part of you now. – Keith said with a quiet smile – It’s the proof that you survived.

\- You don’t know half the things I had to do…

\- That’s OK. Surviving isn’t always pretty.

\- They… they broke me… turned me into a monster I don’t recognize anymore… - Kuro fought against the tears.

\- Then re-shape yourself. – Keith held the right hand again – Become someone you like.

He kissed the hand this time, gently and earnestly. His sincerity almost hurt Kuro with how pure and intense it was.

\- You’re no monster, Kuro. You brought Shiro back to me. **_You_** came back to me. You survived. You got stronger. Whatever they’ve done to you doesn’t define you. You are the only one who can do that.

The knot was back again in his throat.

He couldn’t fight the tears anymore.

He sniffed pitifully.

Keith smiled gently and hugged him.

\- I’m here. I’m here for you, Kuro.

Kuro held him and cried on his shoulder.

He felt Shiro in his thoughts, like careful and gentle fingers running through his hair.

“So am I… I love you, brother.”

\- I love you, Kuro.

Kuro didn’t know for how long he cried on Keith’s shoulder.

It was like a hurricane flooding his soul after a dry summer.

Destruction and rebuilding walking side by side in a confusing mix.

His two favorite people helped him get through the rest of the evening.

During dinner, Shiro took control so he could fake a more cheerful mood to fit with the expectations of the rest of the team. Keith held their hand the whole time.

The team was a little weirded out by the mark on Keith's neck (a choking mark from their aborted scene that afternoon). Keith shrugged and blamed the gladiator. The team let the matter go, since bruises were not uncommon between them.

Pidge was getting closer to cracking the code. She said she would get the code that night if she didn’t sleep. Hunk and Coran made sure to make her go to her bedroom instead (sans her computer), so the code wouldn’t be decoded until tomorrow.

Keith and Shiro nodded.

They bid goodnight to the others and went to their bedroom.

Once they were alone again, Shiro gave Kuro control again.

Keith kissed him on the lips.

\- How would you feel about a scene? – he asked with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

Kuro looked away.

\- Keith…I don’t think that’s a good idea…

\- What? They usually relax me. I thought it’ll work for you too.

\- I don’t… I don’t trust myself with that anymore…

Keith picked up his metal hand and put that around his neck.

Kuro sucked in a breath in shock. The urge to take the hand away from there was enormous, but Keith kept his hold and the Galra hand around his neck.

\- Well, I do trust you. – he smirked.

\- You have no idea what you are saying… - Kuro shook his head in panic.

Keith’s smile turned gentle.

\- Would you stop if I asked you to?

\- Of course I would!

\- And would you respect my limits this time?

\- Yes, lesson learned.

\- Then what’s the problem?

Kuro just stared at him in a mix of disbelief, fear and astonishment.

Keith was still smiling when he pressed the metal fingers around his neck, making sure Kuro had a light grip on it.

\- Please, sir… Please… - he sighed.

His eyes were sincere, submissive and full of love.

Kuro was weak. After all, how the hell could he say no to this?

He squeezed the neck lightly. Testing the waters.

Keith sighed and closed his eyes in surrender.

He pulled him in by the neck for a sloppy kiss, and Kuro felt like he could breathe more evenly.

(Not completely, but a little better).

He pushed Keith onto the bed, already taking off his T-shirt and assaulting his shoulders and chest. He bit hard, even drawing a little blood. Keith moaned loudly.

\- Kuro…

He put his hands around Kuro’s shoulder and neck. Kuro took them away and put them beside Keith’s head, on the pillow.

\- Hands here until I say otherwise. – he growled.

Keith blushed. His blue eyes were still dilated. He smiled.

\- Yes, sir. – he whispered – Just like our first time, huh?

Kuro grunted and kissed him, more teeth and tongue than an actual kiss. However, this time, Kuro ran his hand along Keith’s side, using just a little bit of energy. Just enough to make it sting.

Keith broke the kiss to shout, arching his chest and giving Kuro the perfect opportunity to assault his collarbone.

\- Not quite. – Kuro sighed.

Keith’s pupils were wide and he was panting.

\- Wow, it got better.

He had that expression of surrender that Kuro couldn’t get tired of. A feral beauty, docile and content under Kuro’s touch and Kuro’s alone.

_Gorgeous._

Kuro mixed his kisses and nibbles with the energy from his hand running over Keith’s skin.

Keith shouted, panted and moaned.

\- More…

Kuro raised his head.

\- More what?

Keith panted, clenched his hands beside his head.

\- More, please, sir.

Kuro nodded and kissed him on the lips.

\- Good kitten.

He passed his metal fingers over the waistband while kissing Keith, making him moan into the kiss.

Kuro took his pants and underwear off and Keith spread his legs shamelessly for him with a moan and a relaxed expression.

\- Takashi, please…

Kuro’s heart beat faster, and he felt unashamed of feeling aroused and excited by that.

He took the lube and poured some on his left hand.

Keith’s body seemed to recognize his ministrations, for his ass seemed to relax with only one finger already.

Kuro used the opportunity to run his right hand over Keith and admire his handiwork while Keith shouted with pain and pleasure.

He had been a lot more violent this time than their first time. Keith had some nasty hickeys and light bite marks on both sides of his neck, a bite mark on his left shoulder that would scar if he didn’t go to a healing pod, many hickeys and equally deep bite marks on his chest, including one around his right nipple. His nipples were puffy, red, abused and aroused. Add to that some red angry lines from all the places Kuro had ran the fingers on his right hand, giving Keith small shocks here and there.

Keith’s hair was dishevelled, framing his face in a mess worthy of a Botticelli painting. His cheeks were rosy with a lovely blush and his lips were bruised with the number of rough kisses Kuro had given him. The hands were still beside his head, exactly where Kuro had put them. His eyes were a little unfocused, but he stared at Kuro as if he was the most beautiful star in the sky.

The _only_ star in the sky.

He looked at Kuro full of desire and love.

It broke and remade Kuro.

He prepared Keith with care, but he didn’t waste too much time with pleasantries before thrusting into him.

Keith groaned and melted. He relaxed into the touch, in his own personal universe where Kuro was the only star. His expression was nothing but pure _Bliss_.

\- I’m going to wreck you. – Kuro said, kissing him again.

Keith moaned and frowned for one moment, fighting to find the right word. Oh, but when he did, Kuro’s heart beat faster.

\- Please…

How could he say no to this?

Why say no to this?

Everything faded away.

There was only the two of them in the entire universe when Kuro thrusted into Keith at a hard and brutal pace.

No Zarkon, no Galra, no trauma,

Just them.

Them and all the painful love they have for each other.

Kuro couldn’t help himself.

His hands came to Keith’s beautiful, bruised neck. He grabbed it. He kept up that strong thrusting pace while he squeezed Keith’s neck. Keith’s neck had always been his favorite part of him, and now he knew how to properly squeeze it.

Keith made a startled sound, but he smiled, lost to the pleasure.

Both of them were lost to the pleasure.

At some point, Kuro repeated what he had done their first time and pulled Keith into a sitting position, impaling him on his cock.

Keith barely had time to scream before Kuro’s left hand was around his throat again. They both kept up the brutal pace with their hips.

However, this time, instead of using his right hand to make Keith’s hips move accordingly to his desires, Kuro activated his hand again, just enough to make it hurt.

He passed that over Keith’s spine and Keith lost it, coming all over Kuro’s shirt.

Kuro kept up the mad pace until he came too, his orgasm as intense as a neutron-star collision.

Yes…

Things seems to fall into place…

He came back and Keith was crying on his shoulder.

“Déjà vu, huh?” Shiro asked amused. He seemed as smug and relaxed as he was during Kuro and Keith’s first time.

This time, however, Kuro chuckled with a small lopsided smirk.

“Yeah… a bit.”

He took his dick out of Keith and held him gently.

\- Shhhh… - he said gently, pushing Keith’s bangs out of his forehead and kissing it gently – It’s OK, babycheeks, it’s OK…

He rocked Keith back and forth, running his deactivated metal hand over his back. The cold seemed to soothe him.

\- You were great as always, sweetheart. So amazing, doll…

Gradually, Keith stopped crying.

He sighed tiredly on Kuro’s shoulder.

\- We have to take you to a healing pod. – Kuro sighed.

Keith grumbled for a few moments, fighting to find words on his dazed mind.

\- Later. Wanna nap.

Kuro chuckled.

\- Fair enough. I guess I could use a nap too.

Tenderly, Kuro laid Keith in bed. He then took off his own clothes and laid beside him.

\- We nap for about an hour, then healing pods. Understood?

Keith smiled, closing his eyes.

\- Aye, sir.

He opened his eyes with a soft, relaxed and loving expression.

\- It’s good to have you back.

Kuro felt himself melting.

There was still a lot to say, and he knew that. One night wasn’t going to make all the pain and all that terrible memories of that year go away. He still felt very broken and damaged, and it would take time to undo that.

However, for the first time, Kuro lay on the bed with peace and ease in his mind.

He gave Keith a lopsided grin.

\- It’s good to be back.

Things could work out after all.

 


	8. Twins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language. This chapter is un-edited.  
> \- [Text after dashes] = TALKING (A Romance Language custom)  
> "[Text between quotation marks]" = THE CONVERSATIONS INSIDE SHIRO AND KURO'S HEAD
> 
> Now, to the story!

Shiro couldn’t be more happy with Keith’s success on breaking Kuro out of his shell.

He guessed he needed some “tough love” and Keith was the right man to the job. No other person would be able to be that firm and intense, and still be gentle with Kuro’s needs.

It was a good beginning already!

On that same night, after their nap, Kuro conducted a very grumpy and sleepy Keith to the healing pod. At least Keith gave them a small smile when Kuro kissed him before activating the pod.

They watched their love serene expression for a few moments before Kuro hemmed.

“I… I guess you probably have questions…”

Shiro gave him a sympathetic smile.

“Only if you want to answer me, little brother.”

Kuro stared at him with suspicion.

“You didn’t seem surprised at all with what I told Keith.”

Shiro sighed deeply.

He had both hoped and dreaded for that day, the day his brother would tell him the truth about what happened with them.

“I… I already have a few suspicious.”

Kuro seemed stunned. Before he could panic, Shiro continued.

“When I was researching about dissociative identity disorder, I came up with the data that many people diagnosed with that report to have suffered abuse during early childhood. Sexual abuse seemed to be one of the most commons. I just… connected the dots…”

“Dots?” Kuro’s voice was hoarse. Shiro could feel him trembling.

“You… you always showed up at night, after father entered our bedroom. You were obsessed with cleanness until we were ten and we got the key to lock out door. You freaked out whenever I was bottoming to any boyfriend before Keith, as if they were going to attack me.” he sighed “I just connected that…”

Kuro looked away, curling into himself a little bit. Shiro thought that he would hide away again, but he quietly said:

“I’m sorry.”

Shiro sighed and embraced his brother.

“Hey, no need to apologize. It wasn’t your fault.”

Kuro just sighed quietly.

Shiro always hoped that he was wrong. Always hoped that his brother hadn’t gone through that terrible thing on his own.

He prepared himself for that, steeling his feelings and doing whatever he could to help his brother in anyway. He read many articles and many books on the subject, trying to make himself stronger enough to support Kuro.

However, now, with his brother sitting at a corner of their mind with sadness, Shiro couldn’t help but feel completely unprepared to deal with that.

Keith’s words from that same afternoon ringed on his ears.

“Hey… I’m here for you, Kuro.”

Kuro gave him a small smile.

“Yeah… Thanks, bro… I just need… Some time alone…”

Shiro nodded with a smile.

“It’s ok. Go to you Fortress of Solitude.” Shiro chuckled at his own nerd joke “Just don’t avoid me or Keith again or I’ll drag your sorry ass back.”

Kuro snorted.

“Fine, but if I get to be Superman, you have to be Wonder Woman.”

“I’m not complaining. I would rock the hell out of that mini-skirt.”

Kuro laugh was the last thing he heard from his brother before he submerged on their mind.

It was a weird thing what he did. As if Kuro submerged underwater. Shiro could still see and feel him, but he was somehow incommunicable. Shiro could always shake him until he responded, but it was different from before when he would see and hear with Shiro.

Shiro sat on the steps to the healing pods to wait for Keith. In the meanwhile, he had asked Kuro to bring a tablet so he could distract himself. Pidge and Hunk had come up with a good translator program from Altean to English, so Shiro had been using that to read about Altean battle strategies.

Keith had been complaining that he couldn’t find the fiction session of the Althean library for days now. Shiro kinda agreed with him. He missed reading sappy romances. Allura got annoyed with them when they asked (also, she only knew were the strategy and history books were. She grew up during a long war, and her interests seemed to revolve around it) and Coran honestly didn’t know (he preferred to read manuals, especially gardening manuals, and non-fiction things. The library was huge, so it made sense that even him wouldn’t know where everything was since he wasn’t a librarian). The team was still trying to understand Althean classification methods in order to find books.

\- Ah! Number one! I was looking for you! – Coran said entering the infirmary. He gave Keith’s pod an odd look – What happened to Number two?

Shiro already had a lie and a way to tell said lie at the tip of his tongue.

He sighed feigning annoyance.

\- Keith wasn’t being able to sleep so he went to the training room. He ended up overworking himself and strained some muscles.

Coran chuckled.

\- Ah, yes. I do appreciate his enthusiasm, but he needs to be more careful.

Shiro chuckled on the inside before answering.

\- Yeah. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him.

 

* * *

 

As predicted, Pidge cracked the code on the next morning (she had sneaked out through the air ducts to work).

\- And this is good! Now I have a good idea about Galra codes! – she beamed – Either the rebels’ or the Empire’s codes.

The team sans Allura was really hopeful and excited to talk with a possible new ally. Even Kuro was mildly interested in talking with his saviour.

“Mildly interested!” Shiro laughed “That is a great progress!”

Kuro grumbled.

“Fuck off, Shiro.”

Shiro laughed.

Meeting Ulaz had been… eventful to say the least.

He had looked weirdly at Shiro.

\- You look different, Shiro. – he commented while they were going to the space pocket generator ship.

Kuro swore in his mind.

How could Ulaz notice the difference that it was Shiro and not him who he was dealing with?

Shiro had blinked surprised (a mix of his own surprise and a staged calmness).

\- Hum… I guess being a prisoner makes no good to anyone. Being free has been… good to me.

Keith had noticed the nature of the conversation and had positioned between Ulaz and his lovers. Kuro was amused, but grateful for the small gesture.

They dealt with a new ro-beast and got coordinates to the Blade of Marmora headquarters.

Even if they had met for such a small time, Kuro was still shaken by Ulaz sacrifice. He had saved him and his brother, and there was no way he could ever repay him.

Keith and Shiro had hugged him tightly that night

\- Sorry we doubted Ulaz, Kuro. – he repeated the sentence he had said to him earlier, but now with the correct name.

He shrugged even if he felt like shit.

\- He saved us twice now, huh?

They stayed in silence that night, curled up together.

 

* * *

 

Keith should be satisfied with his situation.

Kuro was improving slowly. Most of the time he still kept to himself and he still snapped a lot (he seemed to have some kind of grudge with the princess out of all the team, Keith had no idea why. She was doing her best to save the universe for fuck’s sake!). Oh, but there was some progress. He was starting to talk about the year he was a prisoner of the Galra and he was doing the mental exercises that would help forming Voltron with Keith and Shiro.

And, of course, there was the **Sex**.

Usually, Keith wouldn’t let a partner hurt him that much as Kuro was doing. He always dreamed of a partner being even rougher with him, but Keith always worried about the consequences to his body. With the healing pods, however, he had less reservations. Sometimes he worried that he was enjoying that a little bit too much, but then the pressure of having to save the universe at nineteen was heavy as fuck. Kuro being rougher to the point of almost breaking Keith sometimes, was a blessing.

Things with Shiro had also improved. Without the necessity to hide all his brother behaviour from Keith, whenever they were together, Shiro was more relaxed and gentle. He was more open about being exasperated about his brother and more open about wanting Keith’s help. Shiro was Kuro’s main helper, so having someone to take the weigh over his shoulders a bit seemed to be really appreciated (and yes, Keith was aware of the parts the brothers take on their relationship, Kuro as the protector, Shiro as the helper. It made sense, he guessed).

And, there was also the **Sex** again.

Being honest seemed to be the best aphrodisiac to Shiro, for he was more excited than ever. Keith liked the slow sex partners to be pliable and affectionate. Basically, he liked cuddlers. Shiro had been that and more since that moment of honesty. Extra loving and extra enthusiastic under Keith’s hand. Also, very open to try some new things with him. Shiro seemed intensely and happily focused to please him, which made them both very satisfied.

The brothers had been fighting a little bit to decide who would have sex with him each night, but Keith _really_ wasn’t complaining.

The team was still working very well together and improving as the days go by. Even Lance was not being as annoying as he had been before (and Keith was relieved with that).

Keith should be satisfied.

But he wasn't.

Not since their meeting with Ulaz and seeing his dagger from the Blade of Marmora.

Alone in their room, Keith took his own dagger from under his pillow.

Shiro ALWAYS complained about his habit of sleeping with the dagger under the pillow. He said it was a little too extreme. Kuro (now that he could verbalize his true opinion) found that a neat thing.

Keith got used to keep that under his pillow as a survival mechanism. The foster system and the orphanages weren't easy (and Keith would have even more nightmares if the dagger wasn't there. He swore to himself long time ago to always be prepared to defend himself).

Slowly, Keith unwrapped the bandage around the handle.

The blue symbol was just as he remembered, just like he had traced with his fingers since he was just a toddler. His dad used to chuckle whenever he pouted to the weird dagger.

How did a Galra Blade ended on Earth?

How could his dad have that?

Keith sighed.

Thinking about the dagger always made him think of his dad.

He missed him.

One of the worst days of Keith's life was the day he died.

Drunk driver.

His dad was on the wrong place at the wrong time.

The dagger was the only thing Keith could to keep from him. Many social workers, foster families and other adults tried to take it from the boy, but Keith was always very smart about how to hide it. After being assaulted, he got used to sleep with it under the pillow.

Dad had said to young Keith to keep the symbol hidden. Keith never understood why.

What did his dad know?

Did he know about the Galra?

About the Blade?

Keith sighed.

So many question…

Keith looked at his reflection on the blade.

His father died when Keith was young. He never knew any other relatives. He never met his mother. The team Voltron was the closest thing similar to a family that he had ever had.

The blade with the blue symbol was the only memento from his past that was left for him, the last clue of his origins.

Keith never gave that too much thought before.

The past shouldn’t affect him, so why bother?

He would never have answers, right?

Or so he thought.

Now his doubts were back with a vengeance.

Keith sighed already wrapping the bandage back on the dagger.

He needed answers.

Before he left the room, he opened his wardrobe to take a look into another little secret that he kept.

This time, he smiled.

Shiro and Kuro’s engagement ring.

Since he had re-started having sex with Shiro (even before knowing about Kuro), he kept the ring away. The moment to talk with his lover about it didn't seem right, since he was still facing the first impact of the PTSD.

Maybe he should start talking with his lovers about it now, since Kuro was slowly improving.

Keith smiled, putting the band on his ring finger.

At least he had good reasons to look up to the future, even if his past was a mystery.

Before leaving the room, he glanced one last time for his pillow and the dagger.

So many things that Keith didn’t know about his father.

So many things that he didn’t really know about his own origins.

He frowned, the doubts rotating in his mind.

Maybe the past still had a hold on him, huh?

He wanted to let go, but…

It was hard when he didn’t know anything about who he was.

 

* * *

 

Even Shiro had already noticed that Keith was a little more distant than usual without Kuro pointed that to him, thank you very much, he wasn't that dense.

Kuro gave him a lopsided grin.

\- Well, there is a first time for everything.

\- Urgh… shut up, Kuro.

Kuro snickered.

The had agreed to be more open about talking with each other aloud in their bedroom now that Keith knew about them. Keith was a little weirded out about seeing them change so fast, but it was better than having one passing the message to him.

At least when they were alone, Kuro had started to be livelier, like he was before. Shiro had missed his lopsided smiles…

Kuro frowned.

\- But I confess that I’m in the dark about the reason.

Shiro hummed.

\- He had been like that since the day we met Ulaz. Do you think he don’t believe you about Ulaz being the one who freed us?

Kuro shook his head,

\- No, he was being sincere when he apologized. It is something else.

Shiro nodded.

\- I don't think it is something dangerous or worrisome. What do you think?

\- Yeah… Me too, but it is something worrying Keith. We should try to help.

\- We can't force him to talk, Kuro.

\- I can't just stand idle and do nothing, Shiro!

Shiro tapped his chin.

\- We can say to him that we are here for him. But more than that, I think it would be too invasive. Since it is not dangerous or urgent, there is no need to pressure him.

Kuro nodded.

\- Seems like a good plan.

Shiro smiled pleased.

 

* * *

 

Keith tried to ask Coran about the Galra being on Earth at some point. He was still a little put off with Coran affirming that the Galra probably hadn't been there yet.

Not that he wanted that to happen. It was just that it just left him with unanswered questions.

Lance had interrupted his conversation with Coran because he was jealous of Keith being interested in the Blue Lion’s origins (or, at least, on how she ended up on Earth). Keith sighed tiredly to that.

Classic, Lance.

He went back to his room.

Shiro and Kuro were there, preparing to take a shower.

They gave him a lopsided grin.

Oh, so Kuro was controlling/fronting the body now.

\- Hey, Kuro.

\- Hey, babycheeks.

Kuro’s kiss would always have more nibbles, while Shiro’s had more tongue. Keith liked to take note of the small details about the brothers.

As they pull apart from the kiss, Kuro’s expression shifted and Shiro smiled gently. Keith was still getting used to that.

\- Hey baby, can we talk with you for a moment? – he asked lightly, sitting on the mattress and inviting Keith do to the same.

\- Huh, ok?

He sat beside the brothers. Shiro held his hand gently.

\- You know, you had been a lot quieter since we met Ulaz.

Keith felt himself blushing with guilt.

Damn!

Keith didn’t know why but he didn’t want nobody to know about his dagger yet. He was worried about how the team would react. Would they think that he was a traitor? A spy? Would Kuro still be ok with him knowing about the dagger?

He didn’t want to lose the family he had.

\- Hey, it is ok, babycheeks. – Kuro said with a gentle crooked smile – We are not trying to force you to say what is bothering you.

\- We just want you to know - Shiro said, keeping the gentleness while shifting to an even smile – that we are here for you. Whether you want to tell us what is worrying you or not.

\- We love you. – Kuro added, kissing his hand – And nothing will change that.

Keith couldn’t help but smile.

\- Thank you. It is probably nothing.

\- We still are here, ok? – Shiro said, giving him a soft kiss on the lips.

They stood up.

\- Now we need a shower before Pidge crack the code from those spores we found.

\- You are always invited to join. – Shiro added with a smirk.

Keith snorted.

\- Nah, I’m cool.

After they left for the bathroom, Keith lost his smile.

He picked the dagger from under the pillow once again.

The same questions plagued his mind and he had no idea of where or to whom ask them.

\- _Guys!_ – Pidge voice come from the Castle’s communication system - _Check this out!_

Kuro grumbled from the bathroom.

\- It is always the same! It is just enter the shower and they call us!

Keith smiled at that, before wrapping his dagger with the bandage again and hiding it under the pillow.

 

* * *

 

When they got there to see what Katie had found out, Hunk looked a little weirded out to Keith’s collar.

\- Dude, what is that?

Kuro watched the exchange with wariness.

Keith looked confused for one moment.

\- Huh? – he looked at his own collarbone and noticed some electrical bruise marks.

The Galra hand when used on Keith’s skin on the low energy setting would left some interesting scars. They look like crooked branches that would come out of the lines where Kuro ran his electrical fingers. It was red and angry, but it would fade away with no serious repercussion with time or with a healing pod (the trio checked the first time the pod’s data about that).

Since their last scenes hadn’t been one of the most intense, Keith had shrugged and skipped the healing pod, much to Kuro’s chagrin. He had said that he was fine and since they were almost immediately called to fix the exterior of the ship, Kuro let him go that time.

\- Oh! – Keith shrugged – It is nothing, Hunk. Just some stuff from when I was training with the gladiator. It was using an electrical baton.

\- An electrical baton? I didn’t even knew they could use those!

Keith shrugged again.

\- The castle is full of surprises, I guess.

Kuro saw that Hunk was a little weirded out, but he couldn’t find any reason to insist on that. Thus, he let go and focused on Pidge’s experiment.

 

* * *

 

\- All right. We'll hide the ship and get some rest while Coran comes up with a work-around. Tomorrow, we'll be sharper and refocused. – Shiro said after they left Olkarion, were chased by Zarkon and now they were hiding.

Everyone started to walk away to do other things.

Kuro grumbled.

“We have to stay alert.”

Shiro sighed.

“What I said is valid for us too, you know.”

“Shiro, someone has to stay alert in case of a new attack!” Kuro glared at him, feeling tense and nervous “We have to protect them!”

Shiro groaned.

And there it is: the constant paranoia.

“Kuro…”

“We are staying!” he sat back on the Black Paladin seat “Maybe we can find a way to make Zarkon lose our tracks. Or at least we can defend the others faster in case of an emergency!”

Shiro groaned again.

“I hate you.”

“Well, fuck you too.”

The brothers bickered for some time.

 

* * *

 

Allura had commented a while ago about the Castle having a swimming pool. Keith hadn't really been interested into looking for it before, but now, tired as he was, the prospect of floating aimlessly in a pool seemed like a blessing.

He put swimming shorts, picked up a towel and headed to the elevator. He caught it when it was almost closing.

Lance was already there, also wearing swimming shorts and with a towel around his shoulders.

\- Huh? What the heck do you think you're doing?

Keith groaned tiredly as he entered the elevator.

\- Allura said there's a pool. I'm gonna go check it out. What do you think you're doing?

\- Same thing. - Lance looked with more attention to him now that they were both on the elevator - Holy Shit, Keith! What the fuck happened to your back?!

\- Huh?

Keith looked behind himself mildly annoyed.

He was still with some of the marks from his last scene with Kuro. When he was wearing clothes, only one small part of the mark on his collarbone was visible (as Hunk had noticed it). Now that he had his back bared, there was no hiding.

Keith shrugged.

It is not the first time he would lie about some BDSM bruises, since he preferred to keep people unaware of his sex life. Next time he should listen to his Dom and just go to the healing pod.

\- Just training injuries. I wasn't feeling like going to a healing pod since they aren't that bad.

\- “AREN’T THAT BAD”!? Keith, your back look an abstract painting with purple, yellow and red!

\- Come on, Lance, we had had worse.

\- Wait, is that a handprint bruise?

Keith moved the towel to cover part of his shoulders.

\- I was training body combat with the gladiator in level 5 while it was using an electric baton. There, are you happy now?

Lance still stared at him with a weirded out look.

\- If you say so, man. That is weird, though.

Keith groaned.

Why people were making such a big deal about those? He was fine and very satisfied, for fuck’s sake!

\- Look, it is nothing, ok? How about we go to the pool then you stay on one side and I'll stay on the other, and we'll be far, far away from each other. Very far away.

Lance shrugged. The tiredness was making him less whiling to argue with Keith about the bruises subject.

Keith relaxed.

The elevator stopped suddenly and the lights turned off.

Both he and Lance groaned in annoyance.

 

* * *

 

Kuro could feel that Shiro was tired and almost falling asleep.

He was not in a better shape and he knew that.

Nevertheless, someone had to protect their team in case of an emergency and like hell he would let them without proper protection!

Kuro blinked when he thought that.

Again with the “their” team bullshit?

Voltron was _Shiro’s_ team.

Not his.

Kuro was aware that he was not worth to be the Black Paladin just to begin with.

Shiro groaned.

“I feel a disturbance on the Force.”

“Go to sleep, Shiro.”

“I can’t, not with your self-hatred disrupting me.”

Kuro rolled his eyes.

“I’ll tone it down.”

“Or you can, you know, talk to me?”

“Shiro…”

“Listen here, little bro, I said that many times and I’ll say that again: **_we_** are a team. There is no me if you aren’t with me. We are both the Black Paladin and we can do this! We can save the universe!”

Kuro sighed.

“Come on, Kuro, tell me what is bothering you!”

“It is nothing.”

“Kuro…”

“Look, Shiro, I’m trying, ok? But I don’t want to talk about this now.”

For one moment, Shiro seemed like he would insist on the subject. However, he sighed.

“Fine. But I’m here if you want to talk.”

“Yeah, thanks, bro.”

“And I mean it.” Shiro smiled at him “You are just as much as the Black Paladin as I am.”

Kuro couldn’t help but give him a lopsided small smile.

“Thank you, Shiro.”

Allura entered the bridge on that moment.

Shiro took control of their body.

\- What are you doing here? You should be resting.

Kuro studied her.

Maybe he had misjudged Allura based on his own misery.

Huh. He needed to think more about that.

Allura sighed.

\- I cannot sleep. Zarkon is out there. He's searching for us.

Shiro nodded to her, but stopped Allura of opening her screens.

\- I know how you feel, but you have to step away for a while. It's what's best for everyone. You are the only one who can create the wormholes after all.

She smiled.

\- And you’re the head of Voltron. I should say the same to you.

“Did you hear that, Kuro? We have to _rest_!”

Kuro groaned.

“Fuck off, both of you.”

Shiro opened his mouth to answer her.

However, a blast hit the Castle on that moment.

The alarms started to ring.

Both brothers looked up.

Zarkon was there.

“No… it can’t be…” Kuro thought, beginning to panic.

“Kuro, come on, stay put!”

\- We are several galaxies away! How could they find us so soon?

\- It doesn’t matter now. – Shiro said jumping back to the Black paladin seat – We have to get out of here.

“Kuro, I need you focused.”

Kuro took a very deep and long breath.

“Ok. Just… have some patience…”

Shiro smiled.

“Sure. Patience yields focus after all. I’ll hold on for now.”

Kuro smiled, still focusing on calming down.

That was an emergency, he couldn’t waste energy panicking.

Another deep breath.

Ok, he was ready.

Allura started the engines and put the barrier up again. The other paladins got there soon enough.

\- They found us again? How is that possible? Is that possible? That doesn't seem possible! – Lance cried while turning on his defence drone.

\- Right now, we must figure out a way to get out of here. – Allura said with a concentrated frown.

\- Or we can stay and fight. Now's our chance. Form Voltron. Enough running! – Keith suggested with a hard and determined expression.

\- It is too dangerous! – Allura answered, turning to Keith.

Kuro noticed how she frowned while looking at Keith’s injuries. He was wearing swimming shorts so it was impossible to hide them. She seemed like she would question him about it and lose focus from the emergency.

Kuro took control of the body to bring her attention back to their real issue. They had no time for distractions now.

\- Allura's right. We can't take on Zarkon and his entire fleet. Remember what happened at Zarkon's command centre. We wouldn't have escaped if the Blade of Marmora hadn't shut down the shield.

They were able to make a small jump.

Kuro was still on edge and annoyed when he thought that the others weren’t taking the situation seriously enough. It was an emergency, for fuck’s sake!

Their only solution was to form Voltron and fly through the metallic storm.

It was a desperate measure, but they have no other choice.

Kuro was barely holding himself together.

_They won't give up until they get to me!_

_Please don’t let them take me back!_

_Please please please please PLEASE!_

“KURO! FOCUS!”

Kuro was about to react like a cornered animal.

He was on the edge. The memory of facing Zarkon for the Black Lion was still fresh in his mind, like a recent wound, still open and still bleeding.

Black growled inside his head, not to argue with him, but as motivation.

Great.

Now he had his brother AND their giant mecha cat giving him motivational speeches.

In the midst of his panic, Kuro caught himself for one brief moment after thinking that.

Again that bullshit of “their”.

He was not the Black Paladin.

Shiro was.

Black was not his.

They took a hit.

“KURO!”

ROAR!

He groaned, still feeling tense and ready to snap.

“I’M HERE! Stop shouting, for fuck’s sake! And you are fucking up the lions!”

“Then do something!”

He took control of the body.

\- Pidge, we're gonna need that shield!

\- On it!

\- And, Keith, the sword!

\- Yes, sir.

“How in the world…?” Shiro asked, really impressed that Keith could detect so fast that they have switched.

Kuro smirked pleased, but he kept the focus on the storm debris.

\- Legs, I need everything you got!

\- Roger! - Hunk answered with confidence - Engaging lower thrusters!

\- I'm right there with ya! - Lance added with enthusiasm.

“Shiro, pay attention to the magnetic field sensors, the energy levels and the position of Zarkon’s fleet!”

“I'm on it!”

With orders given, Kuro focused on taking them out of the storm.

Shiro and he switched places in a high velocity, so both could take care of their respective functions, just like all the times they broke record on the Galaxy Garrison’s simulators.

Fighting as one.

They emerged from the storm and Kuro was really glad to see the stars again.

He maneuvered Voltron in order to get away from Zarkon’s ship.

However, a sudden energy took the Black Lion.

Kuro couldn't listen Black’s roar anymore.

Just Zarkon's voice.

“You are weak. Your mind is not worth of the Black Lion.”

Kuro trembled.

His breath was erratic.

He couldn't hear anything, just a high pitched ring that made him panic even more.

His brother was saying something, but he couldn't hear.

Allura shot Zarkon's ship and gave them the opportunity to flee.

\- I forgot how intense Zarkon's connection to the Black Lion is. We have to keep our distance, or risk losing Voltron. Let's disband and get back to the Castle. - Shiro said to the others. He was having a hard time to keep the control by himself.

“Kuro?” Shiro asked quietly. Black grunted worried.

Kuro ignored them.

They got away from Zarkon, but the damage was already done, though:

Kuro curled into himself again.

 

* * *

 

\- How is he? - Keith asked as soon as they were alone in their room again.

Shiro sighed.

\- It’s bad. I don't know how, but Zarkon apparently knows **exactly** what to say to crush my brother.

Keith hummed.

\- Would he come out for a scene?

\- Huh? Do you really think it’s a good idea, baby?

\- I don't know. - he shrugged - I know that I could use that. This whole thing was so fucked up that the extra relaxation would be good.

Shiro pouted.

\- What about me? I could use some extra relaxation too!

Keith chuckled and kissed Shiro's lips sloppily. He ran his hands through Shiro's body in order to squeeze his ass. Shiro moaned into the kiss.

\- I think Kuro won't mind if we take one hour for ourselves.

Shiro smiled and pulled Keith's t-shirt.

 

* * *

 

“Kuro?”

Kuro groaned.

“Leave me alone.”

“But Keith wants to talk to you!”

“I don't want to talk to anyone!”

“Just give him a chance, Kuro. Pretty please?”

Kuro grunted as he emerged from his black hole and took the wheel.

He lost his breath almost immediately.

Keith was naked on the bed. Shiro had tied his hands behind his back with magnetic handcuffs and blindfolded him with a black cotton band. The highlight of the situation was around Keith's neck.

A faux leather collar.

It was red with steel spikes and a steel medal.

Kuro lost his breath.

Keith apparently heard that, because he smiled to Kuro's general direction.

\- I used the clothes machine to make the collar. - Keith said - Shiro discovered another machine that can mould metal. Check the medal, I think you will like it, sir.

Warily, Kuro walked until Keith and touched the small metal thing. There was one single word engraved there.

_Kitten_

\- So, do you like it? - he asked still smiling.

Kuro sighed and let go of the medal.

\- Keith, I don't trust myself right now.

\- But I do. - he smiled - I trust you, sir.

\- Keith…

\- Kuro, I trust you. You never let me down.

\- I failed. Again and again.

\- And you always stood up again and again.

Kuro sat on the bed in front of Keith.

It was obvious that he and Shiro had already had sex before that, for Keith's neck had some red and pink kisses marks and Kuro felt that, even if he was already dressed, his body had had sex before.

Yet, Keith was still the most delicious and tempting vision Kuro had ever seen. His soft hair fell gracefully around his face, making a beautiful contrast with Keith's fair skin. He still had a few marks from their last scene (since they didn't exactly had time to go to a healing pod between saving the Olkari and being chased by Zarkon), making Kuro almost purr with delight to see his handiwork. Keith had a soft smile on his thin and pink lips that Kuro was really tempted to kiss away. He was already half hard, probably getting himself off for being handcuffed.

What a vision!

Knowing that Shiro had just had sex with him, made Kuro even more tempted to fuck Keith. It was an old secret fantasy of him to take turns with his brother fucking a lover. Oh, but that always sounded so impossible! After all, who would agree with the vanilla and kinky switch time and time again?

And there was Keith, quietly making another fantasy become reality.

The events of that day were still too fresh on Kuro’s mind, though, and he was still too sore. He didn’t feel like he would be able to fully deliver what Keith wanted.

Kuro sighed.

\- Sometimes I really wonder if I’m really worthy of all your devotion.

Keith smile was sweet.

\- You are. As I said, you’ve never let me down, sir.

\- I… I don’t know if I can do this right now, kitten.

Keith sighed.

\- That’s ok. If you don’t want to, you just open the cuffs and we do something else. It’s up to you, really.

Kuro touched Keith’s thigh. Keith sighed.

\- I also don’t want to let you down.

Keith smiled.

\- I’m up to whatever you want, sir.

Kuro tapped his chin.

\- I think I can work out some soft play for now. If I want to intensify we go, but if I don’t then you’ll be happy. What do you think, kitten?

Keith grinned.

\- Yes, sir.

\- How about – Kuro stretched his hand to grab Keith’s dagger from under the pillow (and got closer to Keith in the process) – some knife play?

Keith tensed.

\- With which knife?

Kuro chuckled.

\- Yours, Kitten.

\- No.

Kuro raised one eyebrow.

\- No?

\- No. – Keith sighed.

Kuro couldn’t help but notice how tense and worried he was.

\- Kuro, I don’t want to use my dagger on any scene, ok?

He blinked.

\- Why, Keith?

Keith looked away.

\- I just don’t. Please. You can use another blade and it’s ok. Just… not that. Please.

 _Huh._ – Kuro thought – _That is weird._

\- Did something happened with this dagger, babycheeks.

Keith was still looking away.

\- I… Look, it’s the only thing that belonged to my father that I still have. I don’t want to use it like that.

It was obvious to Kuro that that was just part of the truth.

\- That isn’t the whole story, is it?

Keith clenched his jaw.

He sighed, slipping the dagger back to under the pillow.

\- Ok, babycheeks, I won’t use it. But can you promise to tell me whatever is bothering you about this dagger one day? It doesn’t have to be soon.

Keith nodded.

\- I… I guess I can do that.

Kuro kissed him gently on the lips.

\- Thank you. You’re a very good kitten.

Keith smiled.

Kuro took the blindfold off from him.

\- I’m going to find another knife. I’m pretty sure there’s some on the Armoury. Can you stand to stay handcuffed on the meantime?

Keith smiled and kissed him again.

\- I’m cool, Takashi. I’ll wait for you.

\- Good kitten. I won’t be long.

Kuro almost ran to the armoury in order to go back as fast as he could to their bedroom.

He saw Pidge on his way back. She was carrying a lot of data drives from the library to the main bridge.

\- Hey, Shiro! Huh… Why are you carrying an Althean dagger in the middle of the night?

Caught red handed, Kuro couldn’t think of one single lie to give to her.

“Tell her that you found some of the Olkari dry spores on your helmet.” Shiro suggested with an amused smile.

Some of the spores had adhered to the ship and to their armours and was refusing to get out unless they scrapped that hard.

“Oh! Nice one, bro!”

“Thanks!”

\- I found some of the Olkari spores on my helmet. – he shrugged – Keith said that he took his out with a knife.

Katie snickered.

\- Yeah, that sounds like Keith.

Kuro couldn’t help, but smile too.

\- It’s worth the shot.

\- Fair enough.

\- Don’t stay up until late.

\- Yeah, yeah. I’ll think about it, poster boy.

Keith was laying on his side on the bed when Kuro got back to the room. He pouted.

\- Why did you took so long? I missed you.

Kuro chuckled.

\- What a needy kitten.

He put the blindfold back on Keith and made him stay on his knees on top of the bed.

Kuro first cleaned the dagger with alcohol (they kept a small bottle on the drawer) then ran the tip of the blade through the middle of Keith’s body, from his happy trail to his neck. It was not enough to cut, but it left a red trail behind it.

Keith quivered and sighed.

Kuro hummed.

\- If you agree to go to the healing pod obediently after this, I may of may not agree with going a little bit deeper with the blade.

He passed the cold dagger just under Keith’s collarbone. He quivered again and moaned softly.

\- Yes, sir.

Kuro kissed him while making a cut a little bit deeper on his thigh.

\- Good Kitten.

Keith’s skin was now Kuro’s canvas. He didn’t dare to go too deep (he had a notion to where the main arteries and veins were, but he didn’t want to push his luck), but his cuts would now scar if Keith didn’t go to a pod. A big difference from their old play in which he dared only to scratch his lover with blades.

He made a long cut on Keith’s back. Keith arched his spine into the contact with a loud moan of a mixture of pain and pleasure.

\- What colour, Kitten?

Keith panted for one moment.

\- Green, sir.

Kuro smirked and passed the blade around Keith’s left nipple. It was a light touch, not enough to even scratch, but it made Keith shudder and moan.

\- You look so ravishing, my Kitten. So good that I have to hold myself back not to eat you alive.

Keith groaned and blushed. His cock had become erect already.

He made a new cut just above the nipple, on the chest. Keith shouted.

Kuro’s dick was responding to that fast, becoming hard and demanding attention. None of them would last for too long that time, since they were all too stressed out due to the recent events.

Kuro passed the blade lightly on Keith’s throat (without breaking skin) and moved to his face.

\- Look at you. – he crooned – So debauched and so gorgeous. Red was always your colour, Kitten.

Keith moaned again.

\- Thank you, sir.

\- I’m really tempted to mark that pretty face of yours. So everybody would know that you’re mine.

Keith’s lips trembled in anticipation.

\- Please…

Kuro chuckled.

\- What a good kitten you are, letting me play with you to my heart’s content. Hold still.

He ran the blade’s sharp side on Keith’s left cheek. Keith moaned loudly, but kept his head in place. A fat drop of pre-cum leaked from his dick.

Some blood ran from the cut. Kuro kissed that cheek and licked it. Keith was breathless and blushing.

\- Hum… what colour, Kitten?

Keith pouted for a few moments, as if it was hard to get the right word.

\- Green… sir.

Kuro kissed Keith’s mouth. There was still some blood on his lips and his kitten moaned into the metallic taste.

Very gentle, with just a superficial touch and almost no pressure, Kuro ran the dagger through the skin of Keith’s inner thigh.

Keith yelped and then groaned softly. His breathing was ragged and deep with excitation.

\- What colour?

Keith clenched his jaw.

\- Yellow, sir… It’s too _good_ …

Kuro hummed and put away the blade, touching the sensitive skin with the cold Galra hand for a few moments until Keith’s breath wasn’t so fast. Then he stood up. Kuro opened his fly and pulled up his dick.

\- Goddamn, Keith… How can you always do this to me?

He touched Keith’s lips with the head of his cock. Keith immediately opened his mouth and started to suck him.

\- Good, good Kitten…

Keith’s surrender would never stop to amaze him. His hair was dishevelled and some blood still ran on his cheek. However, even with the blindfold in place, his head was turned up, as if staring deeply and lovingly to Kuro.

\- You are so amazing, my Kitten. – Kuro said, grabbing Keith by the hair – I’m going to move you now. Do you think you can make some sound with the handcuffs?

Keith clicked the cuffs together as an answer.

\- Very good, Kitten. If you want me to stop for any reason, just make that sound again.

Keith gave him a small nod and Kuro moved his head, making Keith deepthroat him.

Few things were better than feel the tip of his cock touch the back of Keith’s throat and feel Keith’s lips touch the base of his dick. (And most of said things involved Keith anyway).

Kuro was still tired, so he moved Keith’s head slowly. He considered if it would be ok to come over Keith’s face (the idea of the colours on Keith’s face seemed tempting), but he wasn’t sure if that would be hygienic considering the cut on his cheek. So Kuro just moved his head lazily, enjoying his view.

\- Oh, Kitten… how perfect you are…

He held Keith’s head in place, with his cock touching Keith’s throat, when he came.

Kuro gave some time and some water for Keith to recover before smiling (even if his Kitten wouldn’t see it).

\- What a good Kitten you are… You surely deserve a treat.

He made Keith laid down on his back. Keith immediately spread his legs for him. His cock was red and leaking pre-come. He wouldn’t last longer.

Just as lazy as before, Kuro finger fucked Keith with three fingers.

He was just so beautiful…Coming undone because of Kuro.

Oh, how Kuro loved him…

 

* * *

 

Shiro pouted, sitting on the steps of the infirmary.

“Why do I ALWAYS get the boring job of waiting for Keith to wake up?” he complained.

Kuro chuckled. He seemed a lot more relaxed after his scene with Keith.

“Hey, I’m here with you, bro.”

“But I’m still the one that has to wait awake for him!”

“Oh, stop bitching. We can take a nap on one of the benches if you want.”

Coran entered the infirmary. This time he didn’t seem to be looking for someone.

\- Shiro? I saw the light turned on. Isn’t a little late for you to be here? – he asked frowning.

Shiro sighed.

\- Keith hurt himself training. _Again_.

Coran kept his skeptical look.

\- He has been hurting himself a lot lately.

Shiro shrugged.

\- Believe or not, he is really clumsy.

Kuro and Keith always preferred to keep their bedroom activities between themselves. Thus, Shiro respected their wishes with that lie.

Coran kept frowning.

\- This has been the fifth time Keith had been to the healing pod since we reunited the Lions.

“Shiro, I think he suspects that the Galra brainwashed us.” Kuro said amused.

Shiro snorted on the inside before sighing again on the outside.

\- Yeah, I guess that since that he had been training harder. Keith wants to defeat Zarkon next time.

Coran nodded.

\- Very well.

“He is not convinced, bro.”

\- Look, Coran, if there was anything wrong with Keith, I’m positive that he would tell us.

Coran’s expression was still the same. He nodded.

\- I suppose…

Keith’s pod pinged, indicating the end of the healing cycle.

Kuro took control almost immediately to catch him up.

Even before any of the brothers could say anything, Coran asked Keith:

\- How did you got that hurt, Keith?

Keith shrugged. They had already talked about the lie they would keep.

\- I wasn’t paying attention while training. I was tired than what I had anticipated. Don’t worry, Coran, I’m fine.

But Coran’s expression was still the same.

“He’s not buying it”.

“Hum… I don’t think that there’s much to be done about it.”

Coran bid them goodnight and walked away from the room.

“I have a bad feeling about this.” Shiro frowned.

“Tell me about it, Luke.”

 

* * *

 

It was he.

Keith was positive that it was he who Zarkon was tracking down.

That was the only explanation.

He…

Keith already have that small suspicion.

The suspicion that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t 100% human.

He had never met his mom after all and he had a Galra blade with him. His dad always said that the dagger was his mother’s gift.

He didn’t want that to be true.

It was… painful.

He had never stopped to ask himself who he was and where he came from. He remembered his dad vaguely and some things he used to say. But he didn’t know much more about the man himself, nor he knew about his mom.

He felt lost.

Who was he after all?

And if he was Galra…

If he was…

Then…

Maybe…

Maybe Zarkon had imprinted on him during their fight.

Maybe his probable Galra blood was what they were tracking down.

He had a nightmare that night. Not one of his usual nightmares (that were more like memories than proper nightmares).

He dreamed that he wore the Galra Armor. The Galra army marched around him. Infinite soldiers, and Keith was one of them. Red had rejected him because he was one of the enemies. He saw Zarkon’s eyes reflected on his dagger’s blade and Zarkon’s voice saying in a menacing manner:

 _I can find you anywhere_.

Keith woke up startled and sitting up. He was panting and his heart beat like crazy.

\- Keith?

One of his boyfriends was asking (they seemed too sleepy for Keith be able to guess immediately which one).

\- I’m ok. I’m ok.

\- Hum… nightmare baby?

Shiro.

Ok, Shiro would be easy to deal with. Kuro was the one that was a pro at detecting lies.

\- I’m ok, Takashi. It wasn’t one of my… _normal_ nightmares. I just… I need to take a walk and drink some water.

\- Are you sure?

\- Yeah… Go back to sleep, Shiro.

\- Ok… but if you need Kuro, or me just wake us up, ok?

He grunted and yawned, preparing himself to sleep again.

Keith stood.

He couldn’t stay on the Castle anymore.

He was putting everyone in danger.

He… He needed to go.

In the end, his plan to get away didn’t work. Allura was with him, and even with them away, Zarkon still found the Castle. At least now Keith new that it wasn’t he.

He would sigh in relief if it wasn’t for two things:

One: Allura proved herself to be extremely biased against the Galra. How could someone lump everyone, the good and the bad, together like that? How could she claim that there was no Galra allies just because they weren’t able to overthrown Zarkon on their own? Voltron was the only thing that could fight the Empire, as Allura herself had told them many times. With his suspicious that he could be part Galra in mind, her prejudice felt horrible.

And Two: his boyfriends were probably pissed.

Keith sighed.

He still had so many questions and now he had to deal with the brothers’ wrath.

It just…

It wasn’t fair…

None of that was…

He just wanted answers. He needed to know who he was.

It wasn’t fair…

 

* * *

 

\- DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF HOW WORRIED SICK I WAS!?

Shiro watched Keith lower his shoulders in shame and sadness, even if he kept his glare in place.

\- I did what I thought was best for the team.

\- FUCK, THAT’S NOT A GOOD EXPLANATION! HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO ME!?

\- Kuro…

\- YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU, YOU INSENSITIVE –

He started to blink and then Shiro was fronting the body.

\- Well then… - he started slowly – That was… eventful…

Keith bit his lips and looked down.

\- I’m sorry…

Shiro sighed.

\- Keith, that it is ok… - he hugged him – I’m sorry he exploded with you. Sometimes Kuro is… handful…

Keith snorted quietly.

\- And just for the record, - Shiro continued in a low whisper – I agree with you. I didn’t like that you had to go, but it was the right choice to test a theory.

Keith smiled and Shiro kissed his forehead.

Shiro could swore that he saw someone walking away from the door of the isolated common room the couple was. He brushed that off easily.

It was just his mind playing tricks on him probably.

(Kuro would eventually forgive Keith and understand his reasons. He was just scared that he could have lost the man they loved).

 

* * *

 

\- Huh… what’s going on? – Keith asked with a frown.

The whole team sans Shiro/Kuro was reunited in the main bridge. Allura had requested him to meet them there and she was adamant about him going to said meeting.

They all looked at him with pity, which irked Keith a lot.

\- Keith… - Hunk started - We… huh… We know.

\- Know about what?

The team looked between themselves with apprehension.

\- Huh… Guys?

\- I think it’d be best if we skip the pleasantries. – Coran said with resolution – Keith, we know about the abuse.

Keith raised one eyebrow.

\- Abuse? What abuse?

\- Cut the crap, mullet. – Lance shouted – We saw the bruises!

\- All of us have bruises from time to time. – Keith answered in a matter-of-fact tone.

\- No, not like yours, Keith. – Allura said softly.

\- You had chocking marks on your neck more than in one occasion. – Hunk added.

\- Also, you had been using the healing pod even when you didn’t train on that day. – Coran nodded.

\- And you had hand marks with your electroshock bruises! – Lance concluded.

Keith sighed and massaged his forehead.

\- Can you all just go straight to the point?

The team looked between themselves again to steel their resolution. They all nodded.

\- We know that Shiro has been abusing you. – Allura said with certainty.

Keith blinked once.

Then twice.

He was having a hard time holding back his laugher.

At the end he lost the battle and started to snicker and then to guffaw.

Keith laughed so hard he had to support himself on the Red Paladin’s chair.

\- Oh, my God! – he laughed.

It took a few moments to Keith to compose himself. The affirmation they were saying was just so fucking HILARIOUS!

Keith never felt stronger and more confident than when he was with his lovers. Neither Shiro nor Kuro would ever do anything to abuse him. He was positive that both of them would prefer to chew their own hand than hurt him. Even if Kuro was still a work in progress, now that they were talking about his issues, even his crisis weren’t causing him to snap anymore.

It was not perfect, but nothing in life was. The three of them respected and were respected on their needs and wishes and they all supported and loved each other. That was all what mattered.

To say that any of his boyfriends was abusing him sounded like a joke to Keith.

However, when he was finally able to stop laughing, he noticed that the others were giving him pitting stares.

He blinked.

\- Holy shit! Are you serious about this?

\- Keith… - Hunk said slowly – Domestic abuse’s something serious...

Keith frowned.

\- Yeah, Hunk, I know that. But that isn’t what’s happening between Shiro and I.

\- And what about you and Kuro? – Pidge asked crossing her arms and with a hard stare.

Keith felt a shiver running down his spine.

Oh, Fuck!

On their relationship, there was one rule that Kuro refused to revoke. A small detail that he preferred to keep between the three of them.

He didn’t want people to know about him.

\- _It’s better this way_. – he had said when Keith asked him about it – _If they knew, they’d start asking too many questions that I don’t wanna answer._

\- _Besides_ , - Shiro had added – _there’s too many bad stereotypes about DID. That some personas are violent and other bad stuff like that._

\- _One thing’s to explain that we’re two people to you, one person that loves us._

\- _Another would be to explain to a group and convince them that Kuro isn’t a bad guy. He just have some sharp edges._

\- _I don’t have sharp edges! You’re the one who is too soft!_

And they had started to bicker while Keith was amused and sitting on their lap.

Keith wasn't as good as Shiro when he was lying.

Oh, who was he kidding? He was a horrible liar. The only way he had been able to sustain that secret was because Shiro was instructing him on what to say.

He had to try, though.

To protect and help his boyfriends.

\- What the fuck are you talking about?

\- I heard him screaming at you. - Pidge continued with her hard stare - I saw when Shiro was able to control him.

\- You’ve gone to the healing pod five times more since Shiro's confrontation with Zarkon for the Black Lion. – Coran added.

\- Zarkon must have put something inside Shiro’s mind, this… Kuro beast-

\- Don’t call him that. – Keith couldn’t help but say on automatic.

\- How do you expect us to call a beast that had been abusing you!? – Lance shouted.

Keith glared, the anger boiling his blood.

\- Kuro isn’t a beast, he isn’t Zarkon’s doing and he isn’t abusing me.

\- Keith-

\- This conversation is over. – he turned his back and walked away, ignoring the others calling his name.

How dare they to call one of the lovers of his life like that?

Keith really needed to cool off his head after that bullshit.

He was going to the training room, fight the gladiator until his muscles were sore and then talk with Shiro and Kuro about that. Shiro was the best strategist and the one more capable of coming up with a convincing lie that the other two could keep up.

Keith was so focused on his own anger that he didn’t noticed the stares the team exchanged between them.

As if they were deciding to start their “plan B”.

 

* * *

 

\- _Shiro, could you come here for a moment_? – Pidge asked using the communicator system to the library – _I really need your help with something_.

Shiro looked up to the speaker with one raised eyebrow. He had been trying to locate the romance section on the library again (the Alteans must have one, right?).

\- What’s up, Pidge?

\- It’s… hum… complicated to explain. I’ll send the coordinated to this… hum… weird room to your tablet and you can… hum… find me.

“Shiro, I don’t like her tone.” Kuro said narrowing his eyes.

Shiro nodded.

“Yeah, but Katie might be using the Galra data she recovered, and maybe she need our arm.”

“If that’s it, why didn’t she said so?”

Shiro shrugged.

“I don’t know… Maybe it’s something else. My point is that we can’t just ignore her without a reasonable cause.”

“Her tone’s kinda weird, bro.”

“Well, since you’re only interpreting her voice, not her body language, I don’t think your prediction would be 100% precise”

“Fair enough… But, I don’t know, I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Duly noted, Leia.”

\- Ok, Pidge. I’m on my way. – Shiro answered, looking at the tablet he was carrying for the directions.

The Castle was HUGE, so it wasn’t unusual for them to not know about all the rooms it has. Between fighting the Galra, training and doing some diplomatic work, neither of the brothers had explored enough of it.

That was why they didn’t suspect a thing when they found Pidge kneeling down with her computer on that dark room. She was typing furiously on her laptop and didn’t seem to notice Shiro by the door.

“If she’s only using her computer, why would she ask us to come to this specific room?” Kuro asked. Shiro could feel that his restlessness.

“Kuro, it’s Katie! Why are you so paranoid?”

Kuro only grumbled, looking around in wariness.

Shiro sighed and walked towards Pidge.

\- Hey, Pidge. What’s up?

He tried to touch her shoulder to call for her attention, but his hand passed right through it.

Shiro’s eyes widened.

A hologram?

“It’s a trap!” Kuro had time to say before they were pushed into some weird tube.

The lights turned on and the whole team, sans Keith was there.

Kuro was looking frantically around, trying to find a way out from the strong glass tube.

“Let me out! Let me out Let me out Let me out Let me out Let me out Let me out **Let me out!** ”

A few flashbacks ran through his mind and Shiro caught a glimpse on them.

Only terrible stuff.

“Stay calm!” he said “I’ll try to fix this!”

\- Guys? What’s going on?

\- We’re sorry for this, Shiro. – Allura said – But we have to get rid of the Galra influence over your head.

\- Galra influence? What the heck are you talking about?

\- We know about the bug Zarkon put inside your head, Shiro. – Pidge said – Don’t worry, we’re going to take it out.

\- Guys, there’s nothing inside my head!

\- Dude, we know about Kuro.

\- This machine will get rid of it.

\- Wait! No! Nononono

They turned the thing on.

 

* * *

 

He was pulled from the other and their world fell, twisting upside down and upside up again in a loud scream.

It was painful and tenebrous.

He had never realized how much of his own mind was built around the other.

Now that the other was not there, he didn’t know who he was anymore.

Two words swirled around his mind, two identities mixed up together.

_Help._

_Protect._

_Help._

_Protect._

_Help._

_Protect._

He didn’t know which one was his and which one was from the other.

Someone tried to touch him (them?) and he reacted.

He was scared.

He didn’t know who he was.

_Help._

_Protect._

_Help._

_Protect._

_Help._

_Protect._

Who was he?

 

* * *

 

Keith was sweating and panting.

He stared at the destroyed gladiator at his feet with a smirk.

Level 5!

Hell yeah!

Keith tried to use his own t-shirt to wipe the sweat out of his face, but it was no use.

Yeah, he probably needed a shower.

Keith was about to put out his bayard when he heard a scream.

Shiro or Kuro’s scream.

He didn’t even think and immediately ran towards it.

His heart beat fast and he could feel the dread feeling on his stomach.

Were his lovers in danger?

What was going on?

He got to a room that he hadn’t been yet. It seemed to be some kind of specific examination room, like a room to take an x-ray or something of the sorts. The room had one big machine with a glass tube (at the size that would fit most humanoid alien species) and a glass sphere (at the size of a car wheel).

The sphere was full to the brim with a grey gas.

The tube was almost empty. The only thing there were Shiro’s clothes at the bottom.

The clothes he had been wearing that day.

The team was there with different shocked and confused expressions.

Keith gave them a deadly glare.

\- What have you done to them!?

They all looked sheepishly and ashamed to him.

\- We were trying to help… - Allura said quietly.

Keith clenched his fists.

\- WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?

They all cringed.

Coran hemmed.

\- We believed that he was under Zarkon’s influence…

\- I fucking TOLD YOU that he wasn’t!

\- W-well, yes, but we didn’t believe that you’d be the best person to testify that.

\- Why the fuck not!?

\- I don’t know! – Pidge answered with crossed arms in front of her chest – Beaten wife syndrome or something like that!

\- Beaten… do you still FUCKING think he was abusing me?

\- Dude, you had bruises all over you! – Lance shouted.

Keith groaned.

\- It was consensual! I just really didn’t want to discuss our sex life with other five people!

Lance, Pidge, Allura and Coran seemed extremely confused with his statement.

Hunk’s eyes widened with comprehension and he blushed.

\- Hum… guys? I think we… huh… misunderstood the situation…

\- Huh?! How the fuck can we have misunderstood it!? – Lance asked in a high pitch.

Hunk only blushed even more.

\- Trust me. I think this’s all a big, big, BIG misunderstanding.

Keith groaned with anger again.

\- Can you just fix them already!?

\- I don’t think this will be possible. – Coran said slowly.

\- WHAT?!

\- You see, this machine was built to extract mental parasites from one’s mind. They’re a lot more common than what you would have thought, even before the war. The person usually enter the tube and the parasite exits on the sphere in the form of a cloud that can be compacted into a memory container or destroyed.

 Keith massaged his forehead in irritation.

\- Kuro is NOT a parasite!

\- What the hell is he then? – Pidge demanded.

Keith closed his eyes, still furious.

Great! Now he would have to reveal about his sex life AND about his lovers’ secret in order to make them whole again.

Great!

Just…

FUCK!

Why couldn’t the team just accept his word and move on?

\- Takashi has dissociative identity disorder. – he grunted – He had that even _before_ going to Kerberos! _BEFORE_ BEING CAPTURED BY THE GALRA!

\- Dissociative… - Pidge’s face was struck with comprehension – Like, multiple personalities?

\- Yes, that! Shiro, Kuro and I had this relationship since _before_ the Galra!

This time, Lance’s face was the one enlightened.

\- You had some weird marks on your neck when you were at the Garrison! Has that happened _before?_

If it was possible, Hunk got even redder.

\- Guys, this’s really a huge mistake.

Keith groaned frustrated.

\- Fix them already!

\- I’m afraid that isn’t possible. – Coran answered quietly.

\- WHAT!?

\- Well… erm… that's what happen when a person without a parasite enters the tube. Usually, we would just need to open the sphere and the person would reorganize themselves. But…

\- We tried to open it and one of them attacked us!

Keith sighed with annoyance.

\- That would be Kuro. He’s always focused on protecting them.

\- We… huh… hoped that you could help? Maybe talk with them?

Keith groaned and marched to the sphere.

\- Keith, wait! Not like that!

He didn’t listened and opened the glass container.

A paw that seemed to be made of liquid metal formed from the cloud immediately. White tendrils emerged from the cloud, trying to keep the paw forming as best as possible, helping it to be stable. The paw itself was read to defend and protect the cloud.

Keith stared at the cloud.

\- Hey, Kuro, - he said gently – It’s just me.

The paw was raised.

\- You wouldn’t harm me, would you?

He stared with expectation to the deformed paw.

The paw stopped middle air, right above his head.

Keith sighed in relief.

The white tendrils recoiled in fear.

Keith looked at them softly.

\- Shiro, it’s just me. I’d never harm you either.

The tendrils seemed to stop middle air on their retreat.

Keith felt his heart beat fast. He bit his lips.

\- Please… come back to me… I need you… the two of  you…

The cloud seemed to understand what he was saying, for it slowly got out of the glass sphere. It was now around Keith.

The metal paw descend slowly, tracing Keith’s face gently before settling on his neck. It wasn’t squeezing it, it was just there as if feeling his pulse. A thumb was formed out of it them a full metal hand. It was caressing Keith’s skin.

The white tendrils slowly traced Keith’s face too. They set on his nape, though, running through his hair a little and making Keith almost purr. Five flesh fingers were formed out of it and an arm supporting them.

Two hands.

Keith smiled and closed his eyes, just feeling the soft touches.

\- That’s it, Takashi… I’m here for you…

He felt relieved, relaxing into the touch of the cold metal and the warm fingers. Keith guessed that the machine had only been tested with a normal person, someone without DID. That was why it was probably difficult for his boyfriends to gather themselves back together: two personalities to rebuild. It was probably a lot harder.

All seemed fixed now, though, since they were already forming their hands. The rest of the body would come naturally.

Keith ran his own fingers through the already formed parts. He traced the metal hand lazily, though the lines he had already memorized from the brothers’ right hand. Then he traced the flesh arm behind him, enjoying the known warmth.

However, when he got to the flesh hand, he opened his eyes in shock.

He touched the metal hand just to make sure that he wasn’t mistaken.

He wasn’t.

Keith frowned.

Why were them forming two right hands?

Black tendrils intertwined themselves with his right hand and formed the first left hand.

Keith’s eyes widened.

What…?

He traced said hand with his own left hand, feeling the scars and callous, just like the brothers’ left hand after they came back from their year as prisoners.

White tendrils intertwined themselves with his left hand, pulling it with them to Keith’s side and formed the second left hand.

This left hand had softer skin with no scar. A few callous from the Garrison’s simulators, but softer overall. Just like it was before Kerberos.

Comprehension struck his mind.

\- Oh, fuck… - he said aloud.

Was that possible?

Could they be forming two bodies instead of one?

The grey cloud leaned into his face in a weird kiss that Keith didn’t know it had a nibble of a little of tongue. Then the cloud split in two, black and white. The white cloud kissed his left cheek while the black kissed the right.

The left hands let go of his hands and they touched each other over Keith’s head, feeling the other gently. The one on Keith’s right side was attached to a black arm while the one on his left was connected to a white one. Slowly, those arms were becoming flesh.

The lips were now forming, one with an even and sweet smile, the other with a lopsided and roguish grin. The heads started to take form from that and they both leaned on Keith’s shoulders.

Keith let out a small smile of his own.

\- That is it, Takashi… You’re doing great…

Their bodies formed slowly. Part by part, the cloud was dividing itself into black and white and then it was solidifying into humans. How was that even possible, Keith didn’t know and, honestly, he wasn’t really that curious to find out.

The brothers finished taking form with twin sighs, like the first breath of new life, deep and freeing, filling them with themselves.

Keith had a soft smile on his lips.

He ran his fingers through his boyfriends’ hair.

Kuro and Shiro raised their heads and stared at each other in awe.

\- Shiro? – the one on Keith’s right asked.

\- Kuro? – the other asked at the same time.

They obviously had the same face and the same body type, but there were differences between them. They were naked, which made things even easier.

The one on Keith’s left, the one he supposed was Shiro, had his hair all black and his face was a little rounder, as if he was healthier than his counterpart. He had only one single scar from the captive time, a scar around his right forearm, maybe 10 cm below the elbow where his arm was supposed to have been cut. The rest of his body was without any scar.

The other, who was probably Kuro, had the white hair patch, deep bags under his eyes and a thinner face. He had all the scars from the year as prisoner of the Galra, including the one on his face. His right hand was the Galra hand metal hand. He also seemed to have a little more muscle than his brother.

Keith broaden his smile.

\- Should I say “Takashi brothers” to match? I’m pretty sure you two have different surnames, so I don’t know how to call you.

They both chuckled and smiled at him.

\- Oh, fuck… - someone said behind them – Twins!

The trio was reminded with that that they weren’t alone in the room.

They looked at the others.

Kuro glared at them and took a step activing the Galra hand.

\- How dare you…!

\- Kuro, no! – both Keith and Shiro shouted.

He kept advancing.

It seemed like they would have to tackle him to stop Kuro of attacking the rest of the team.

However, Lance activated his bayard and aimed at him.

\- Don’t take another step! I won’t hesitate!

Kuro was still glaring at them, but he had enough sense of self-preservation to stop on his tracks.

Keith and Shiro stood between Kuro and the team.

\- This isn’t necessary. – Keith said with his arms raised – He means no harm.

\- He clearly wanted to attack us! – Pidge shouted.

\- You attacked us first! – Kuro snarled.

\- It doesn’t matter. – Shiro said in a practical tone – We’re all on the same side.

Allura narrowed her eyes.

\- He’s clearly just a menace to the team. Besides, Shiro’s the Black Paladin. We don’t need him-

\- Take that back! – Shiro interrupted her with a snarl of his own.

\- He clearly has a bad influence on both of you, so he must be locked up!

Lance and Pidge raised their bayards. Both Allura and Coran stood in fighting stances. Hunk seems unsure.

Keith evaluate their chances.

Coran might be a good fighter and had the Althean extra strength, but he was old and would get tired fast.

Lance was a threat if he stayed away from them with his rifle. Neutralising him should be a priority.

Pidge was fast and agile with her dagger, and she knew how to use the cord attached to it. She was a bit cocky when fighting, and prone to make mistakes.

Allura was the real problem. She was strong, young and a good fighter. It would that lot of effort and ability to defeat her.

And that was only considering one by one fights.

They would attack them together.

Even if Keith was with his bayard and knew how to defend himself, he was already tired from his previous rounds with the gladiator and it would be a tough fight anyway. Kuro could help him, since he was strong, clever and skilful, but he was naked, therefore unprotected against anything. Shiro would need to step aside since he didn't know how to fight at all.

They had just a very slim chance.

Fuck!

What should they do?!

\- Ok. – Kuro said, walking past Shiro and Keith with a serious expression – I surrender. Just don’t attack my brother or Keith.

Keith gasped.

\- What are you doing!?

Kuro grinned lopsided to him over his shoulder.

\- Protecting the two of you, babycheeks. Besides, - he winked at Shiro – I have the best lawyer in town.

Keith was about to intervene again when Shiro put a hand on his shoulder. He shook his head when Keith looked at him. Keith hoped Shiro had a plan.

\- You’re making a mistake. – Shiro said to them, while Pidge handcuffed Kuro.

Keith couldn’t do much but watch they take Kuro to the dungeons.

 

* * *

 

Kuro was glad that they decided to use one of the conventional cells and not the cryo-tubes like they did with Sendaks.

The cell was one among others in a long corridor. They had three walls of actual walls and one with only a blue force field. The field allowed the prisoner to be seen and heard, but they couldn’t cross it. It didn’t hurt the prisoner if they touch it, but it prevented them to walk away. The team was certain that the field was stronger than Kuro’s Galra arm, making it impossible for him to escape.

The cell had two beds in a wall (like two capsules), a toilet bowl and a sink. It was bare of anything else.

They quickly took the handcuffs out of Kuro and Allura shoved him into the cell.

Kuro turned around with a lopsided grin.

\- If you’re going to treat me like that, at least buy me some dinner first, sweetheart.

The princess got livid with rage.

\- How dare you!

Coran activated the force field.

\- Let him be, princess. He can’t do us any harm now.

\- Yeah, Allura! – Kuro mocked – Obey your wet nurse!

She looked like she would answer, but Pidge hold her arm.

\- It’s no use, Allura. He’s already locked up.

The princess pushed her lips with anger, but she nodded.

\- Very well. He can’t hurt anyone anymore.

Kuro kept the smug expression until they were out of the corridor. Allura, Coran, Pidge and Lance were relieved that he was now behind bars. Hunk was unsure.

After they were out, Kuro’s expression fell.

Even if he and Keith were good at fighting, the others were well trained and skilful on their respective styles. He was sure that Keith had the same thoughts as him, considering the team weaknesses and strong points. The problem was that they were in numerical disadvantage and just as they knew the others’ weak spots they also knew theirs. They didn’t had a change against the five of them at a the same time.

Thus, Kuro did what he always did:

He protected.

Stopped a fight before even the first punch could hurt Shiro or Keith.

Besides, what they would even do if they won the fight?

Run away? Neither Keith nor Shiro would agree to abandon Voltron.

Hide? Where? And for how long?

Surrendering himself was doubtless the best solution.

Kuro sat on one of the sleeping pods, trying to pretend that it wasn’t so bad.

At least he wasn’t prisoner of the Galra, right?

He took a few deep breaths to avoid crying.

He missed Shiro like hell.

Never on his entire existence had he remembered a moment when Shiro’s wasn’t there. Even when he was asleep or quiet, he was _there_ , and Kuro felt less alone, less abandoned.

Now, the silence on his head was beyond agonizing.

“Shiro?”

Nothing.

He could feel that his brother was in the Castle (he didn’t know how), but he couldn’t hear him anymore.

Kuro sighed. There was a painful knot on his throat and his eyes burned.

 

* * *

 

\- Come on! We have to go see Kuro!

Shiro was frantic and distressed like he never felt before.

Kuro wasn’t there at the back of his mind.

Not even hiding inside his own mind.

He just _wasn’t there_!

Shiro only realized that he was crying when Keith held his face.

\- Shiro! Breathe!

Shiro sniffed.

If he had ever been without his brother, he couldn’t remember.

Both were too young when they split in two. Their whole lives, their identities, their hopes and dreams: they built everything together. Maybe that was why it was so hard for them to separate themselves on the first place. The point was there wasn’t one if there wasn’t the other.

That made the silence, that forceful absence, be even more tenebrous, scary and painful.

Shiro didn’t knew how, but he could almost feel and taste Kuro’s distress too. He also could few his brother presence, like an inner compass pointing to him.

They need to be together.

Keith held him tightly on their bedroom.

\- It is ok. It is ok. – he said gently – We are going to figure something out.

Shiro cried on his shoulder for a few moments before detaching himself with a determined expression.

\- I have to see him, Keith. He needs me.

Keith nodded. His expression was resolute.

\- Ok. I’m not going to stop you. I need to see for myself is he is ok. But you are panicking, Takashi. We both need to keep your heads in place now.

Shiro closed his eyes for one moment, taking a few deep breaths.

\- Yeah… - Keith crooned gently while drying Shiro’s tears with his thumbs – Just like that… They won’t understand everything all at once. So we have to be smart and have a lot of patience now.

He gave Shiro a soft kiss on the lips.

\- Patience yields focus, remember?

Shiro smiled, feeling a little bit warmer than before.

He was very grateful that Keith was there with him. He would be freaking out otherwise.

\- You really stick with that, huh?

\- As I said before, you give me some good advice. – he kissed Shiro again – Now, come one. You need to get dressed so we can go see Kuro.

It was obvious that Keith was just as tense as he was. Knowing that Kuro was in distress was taking a toll on him too. However, Keith was doing his best to hold on.

He was holding on for Shiro, and that warmed Shiro’s heart.

Shiro didn’t know for how long they would hold on together, though. The situation was too unusual, too surreal and too unknown for any of them relax before seeing Kuro.

How in the _world_ would any of them even imagine that the Altheans would have a machine capable of separating the brothers?

Shiro put a pair clean underwear, a pair of lose pants, a baby blue t-shirt and the “Voltron” hoodie. Since they had discovered the machine that did clothes, Lance and Hunk had come up with the idea of making the team matching hoodies. They were all white and they had the Voltron symbol on the chest. The symbol, the inside of the hood and the cuff of the sleeves were on their Lion’s colours. That meant that Shiro’s hoodie was all white with the inside, cuffs and symbols in black.

He finalized with comfortable boots.

They picked up clothes for Kuro and shoved them into a bag.

Shiro nodded at Keith.

\- Let’s go, baby.

 

* * *

 

Keith had just opened the door of their bedroom and he faced Coran with his fist raised to knock on it.

\- Oh, Number Two! – he looked to Shiro and hemmed – And… hum… Shiro?

Keith saw Shiro’s jaw clenching a little bit, but he nodded.

\- Yes, I’m Shiro.

\- Good! We all wish to talk to the two of you.

\- Not now, Coran. – Keith said frowning – We need to see Kuro first.

Coran curved his moustache with his right hand in nervousness.

\- Well, you see, the princess took yours authorisation to access the dungeons. So the doors won’t open to none of your fingerprints.

\- WHAT!?

Keith felt anger boiling inside him again.

That whole situation was just so messed up!

How could they attack the brothers and now keep Kuro locked up with no prove of anything!?

Knowing that one of his boyfriends was in such stressful situation made Keith feel restless and on edge, ready to snap. The only reason he kept his cool on that moment was because Shiro put a hand over his shoulder. At least Shiro was still there.

\- I’m sure this’s all a big misunderstanding. – Shio said frowning – We need to solve this as fast as we can so you can take my brother out of the dungeon.

Coran seemed a little freaked out that Shiro used the term “brother”, but he didn’t say anything about that on the moment.

\- We’re all reunited at the Main Common Room. If you two could kindly follow me…

Keith really wasn’t the best person to deal with that. He didn’t know what to do on that situation.

He couldn’t even imagine how the brothers were feeling right now. They had been together since they were six years old, for fuck’s sake! Together 24h, seven days a week. Even when Kuro was a prisoner, he relied a lot on Shiro’s support accordingly to what both of them said. They should be inseparable.

Just looking at Shiro it became evident how that separation was hurting him.

Thus, Keith did his best to steel his will and to keep his emotions on check.

Shiro searched for his hand, and they intertwined their fingers, giving comfort for each other.

The team was all tense and worried when they got there.

Allura gave them a tight smile.

\- Keith and…

She looked at Shiro with uncertainty.

Keith squeezed his hand to show his support (even if in a subtle way) before answering her.

\- Shiro. – he said in a dry tone – This is Shiro, the older brother.

They all seemed a little weirded out with Keith using the term “brother”. Lance was the one who openly expressed that.

\- Huh, “brothers”?

Shiro nodded.

\- Yes. Kuro is my twin.

\- Twin?

\- Yes.

\- Are you sure?

He sighed.

\- Well, I’m not sure, to be honest. We never gave that too much thought. We never thought we’d ever be separated to begin with.

They all seemed guilty.

\- The situation was- - Allura started to say.

\- You didn’t get the full picture and you were all already taking conclusions! - Keith couldn’t help but shout – You ignored what I said, that I was fine and you didn’t even tried to talk with Shiro or Kuro!

\- How did you expected us to know!? – Lance replied annoyed.

Before Keith could reply with an angry remark, Shiro put a hand on his shoulder. Keith looked at him.

Shiro shook his head. The message in his eyes was clear.

 _Leave this to me_.

\- Princess, Keith’s right. You all saw one side of the situation and didn’t research beyond that. Even if Keith had some bruises, they were all consensual and nobody was abused.

\- I’m sorry, but how in the world that could be “consensual”? – Allura demanded.

Shiro opened his mouth to answer, but Hunk beat him into it.

\- It’s BDSM, isn’t it?

They all stared at him with different surprised expressions. Keith had one raised eyebrow.

\- And what would that be? – Allura asked confused.

Hunk blushed.

\- It is, hum, an acronym for some words. They are Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. That is, some kinks those people have.

Pidge cringed.

\- What, like that Fifty Shades of Grey weird stuff?

\- That book’s, hum, incredibly inaccurate. The real deal has a lot more communication and respect.

Lance’s eyes were wide with shock.

\- How can you, of all people, know about this kind of kink shit?

Hunk rolled his eyes.

\- I have a healthy sexual curiosity like any normal guy of my age, thank you very much, Lance.

\- I’m of your age and I don’t have these kind of curiosity!

\- Lance, you were the one with the internet historic of bondage and blindfolds.

\- That-! I-! You-! – Lance sputtered, becoming red.

\- I don’t understand. – Coran said slowly – How does this BDSM involved with our present situation?

Hunk bit his lips and blushed harder. He looked around, still red. His eyes stopped at Keith for one moment and he nodded in acknowledgement.

\- Keith can confirm this to me, but I think he’s, hum, Kuro’s, hum, - Hunk was now cherry-red – his, hum…

Keith rolled his eyes.

\- Submissive? Yes, I am.

Allura, Coran and Pidge stared at Keith with different degrees of surprise. Lance snickered.

\- Mullet boy? Submissive? – he guffawed.

Keith glared at him.

It seemed like everything that day was set to anger him to no end.

\- What’s so funny about it, Lance? – Keith asked with venom in his voice.

Before Lance could give him some smartass reply, Shiro intervened.

\- _Lance_ … - he said sternly.

That seemed to do the trick, since Lance blushed and stopped laughing.

Shiro put a hand on Keith’s shoulder.

Grounding him.

Keith sighed quietly.

\- I think this was all a misunderstanding. – Shiro said with confidence – My brother and Keith’s sex live might be a little unusual, but I can guarantee that there wasn’t any abuse involved. No matter how bad that looked.

\- It was still harmful. – Coran said with concern – You had needed the healing pod too much, Keith.

Keith could feel his face getting warmer.

\- That was still consensual and discussed beforehand. We… We kinda went rougher _because_ we could use the healing pods on the aftercare.

\- Do you realize how reckless that is? – Allura asked with narrowed eyes – You could have jeopardized Voltron!

Keith narrowed his eyes to her.

\- I was aware of the risks, princess, to myself and to Voltron. Every injury could be solved within a couple of hours on the pods. A couple of hours could hardly interfere with saving the universe.

\- It was dangerous! There could be an attack while you were in the pod!

\- Oh, I’m sorry, - Keith said with sarcasm – I forgot that I have to fix the mess **Althea** and your **father** made and didn’t solved.

They glared at each other.

\- Don’t you think for one second that I forgot that you didn’t even mentioned that Zarkon was the last Black Paladin piloting a weapon created by Althea.

\- Keith, enough. – Shiro said squeezing Keith’s shoulder a little. Then he turned to the princess – Princess, there was no harm done and the two of them were careful. I don’t see why my brother has to remain locked up.

She kept her frown.

\- It is clear that your…brother has a bad influence on both of you.

\- Keith is speaking just like him. – Pidge added, equally frowning.

\- My brother isn’t perfect, but he means no harm. Please.

He gave them all a pitiful stare.

\- We had been together since we can remember. It hurts to be away from him now. He’s the only family I have. I think you can understand how terrible it is to be apart from your family. Please, set him free.

Keith had no doubts that Shiro was being sincere on his message. However, the way he delivered it, appealing to their common weak spot (family) showed to Keith how desperate his boyfriend was.

Allura looked around for support. They were all conflicted about the situation.

Keith wanted to add something, but Shiro squeezed his shoulder lightly again. As if asking him to keep quiet for now.

\- I… I don’t think it would be wise to let someone like him walk freely. – Allura said at last – He almost attacked us.

\- Princess, we _need_ him. – Shiro said with conviction – There is no way to form Voltron without Kuro.

\- How is that, if you are the Black Paladin?

\- No, princess. **We** are the Black Paladin, Kuro and I.

\- There is no precedent of two people piloting a Lion at the same time. Even you and Zarkon didn’t do that, you just fought for control.

Her expression was hard.

\- No. Your brother will remain incarcerated. – before Keith could explode with her, Allura added – However, I guess I can’t stop the two of you of visiting him. I’ll make sure to block your fingerprints to open the cell, but I’ll give access to the dungeons back.

Keith was about to argue, but Shiro held his hand. They stared at each other. Shiro shook his head.

It wasn’t the right moment for a new appeal.

\- Thank you, princess. – Shiro said, bowing his head.

Keith swallowed his bad answers.

At least they could see if Kuro was all right.

It should be enough for now.

 

* * *

 

Kuro clenched his jaw when he heard steps getting closer.

He was going to glare on the newcomers’ direction when he felt it, like a faint whisper at the back of his head.

A quiet line of thoughts.

A passenger mumbling on shotgun.

 _Shiro_.

He could feel his brother getting near.

Kuro stood and ran to the force field, touching it with open palms.

Shiro was running towards him.

\- Kuro!

\- Shiro!

Shiro was already dressed and he was panting when he touched the force field on the other side.

The brothers touched the barrier with their foreheads and they aligned their palms.

Almost as if they were looking at a mirror of each other.

They closed their eyes, enjoying their presence.

With the proximity, Kuro could hear the whispered thoughts better.

 _“I missed you_ ”.

He sighed in relief.

“I missed you too. It’s too quiet without you”.

“ _Yeah, and it scares the hell out of me_ ”.

They hummed together while the other two people got closer to the cell.

Kuro opened his eyes and noticed that Keith was there too.

He was smiling tenderly at the scene.

\- Takashi brothers. – he said with gentleness.

Kuro couldn’t help but give him a big lopsided grin.

\- Keith!

Keith beamed.

\- Hi.

\- It is good to see your face, babycheeks.

Hunk hemmed.

\- I, hum, I’ll deliver the clothes and then I’ll wait outside.

Shiro smiled at him.

\- Thanks, Hunk.

Kuro glared at him.

\- Why are you thanking him? He was one of the people who did this to us!

Hunk looked down.

\- I’m sorry, Kuro… We misunderstand the situation completely. If I had known before that the two of you are into BDSM, I would have done my best to stop them.

Kuro stared at him feeling completely weirded out.

\- You know about BDSM?

Hunk rolled his eyes.

\- Oh, yeah, I forgot. The fat guy isn’t allowed to have interest in sex.

It was clear to Kuro that that was a sore spot for him.

\- My bad. Point taken.

Shiro snickered inside their mindspace. The sound was faint, but Kuro heard.

“Shut up, Shiro!”

That only made Shiro chuckle again.

“ _I missed you_.”

Kuro blushed a little at his brother’s sincere emotions.

Hunk grumbled grumpily while passing a bag of clothes through the feeding opening to the cell.

\- I’ll wait outside. – he sighed before giving them a friendly smile – Take your time.

Kuro opened the bag and sighed in relief.

\- Thanks, guys.

\- No problem! – Keith answered.

“ _We are just sorry that we couldn’t do more_ ”.

“It is ok, bro. I’m already really glad you two are here”.

Kuro was pleased to see that they had picked up something that fit his general style.

Dark well-fitted pants and sturdy combat boots; a white t-shirt and a black faux-leather jacket; clean underwear and clean socks. There were also a fingerless glove for his left hand (probably a courtesy from Keith).

Now fully dressed, he turned to his two favourite people.

\- What is our situation? – Shiro started to explain on their mindspace, but Kuro interrupted him – Out loud, bro, so Keith can participate too.

Keith frowned.

\- Can you two communicate telepathically?

Shiro beamed and Kuro smirked. They answered at the same time.

\- Yes! It was a very good surprise when I got here.

\- Yes! It was a very good surprise when he got here.

Keith blinked in surprise before chuckling.

\- I guess the effects of the separation are a little bit more complex than what we imagined, huh?

Shiro nodded.

Kuro got serious again.

\- What are our situation? – he asked again.

They made a summary of what they had talked with the rest of the team.

Kuro groaned when they finished.

\- Great. Locked up _again_.

Keith put his hand on the force field.

\- We are going to take you out of here, Takashi. – he said with conviction.

Kuro smiled and aligned his palm with Keith’s.

\- I miss you, babycheeks.

\- And I miss you.

Keith kissed the field and Kuro’s heart was warm.

When they had to leave, Kuro and Shiro kept their connection for as long as they could. Kuro could still sense the general direction to where Shiro was, but he couldn’t hear his thoughts clearly.

Being there on the cell was twice as lonely as it was before when he was prisoner of the Galra. At least then he could feel Shiro with him.

With some self-depreciation, Kuro realized how selfish he was being.

Wishing his brother were locked away with him instead of free and being able to be with Keith.

Once again, proving himself to be nothing but a egotistical being.

Kuro was about to let himself be dragged down by his cruel thoughts when he heard the faint and distant sound of his brother’s voice.

“ _I miss you too_ ”.

It was far and he couldn’t barely hear it.

But it was there.

He didn’t imagined it…

Right?

Kuro tried to send something back.

With some shame, he decided to transmit exactly what he was thinking a few moments ago.

“I wish you were here”

There was silence for some time, making him almost believe that he had just imagined hearing his brother.

However, there was an answer.

“ _Hang on, I’m coming_ ”.

Kuro raised one eyebrow.

Huh?

That couldn’t be… right?

It was impossible for them to keep the contact for such a long distance.

Right?

However, soon enough Shiro showed up with a big smile and food for Kuro.

\- To answer your question, - he said with a smirk – I don’t think it is impossible for us to keep the contact.

Kuro was agape.

\- What the fuck!

Shiro shrugged and passed him the food.

\- I don’t know myself, but as Keith said, the effects are… complex, I guess. – he gave Kuro a small guilty smile – At least I won’t be alone.

Kuro smiled lopsidedly.

\- I would never abandon you if I could help, bro.

That night, Shiro and Keith sneakered back to sleep with him. They had brought pillows and some blankets. Kuro used the extra mattress from the unused bunker capsule and laid with them on the floor. Keith was a little squished against the force field (so he would be between the brothers), but by his soft expression, Kuro was positive that he didn’t mind at all.

Having his two favourite people with him made Kuro relaxed enough to sleep through the whole night.

 

* * *

 

\- I already told you, Allura! – Shiro complained from the ground where he had fallen for the umpteenth time – I. Don’t. Know. How. To. Fight!

On the next morning, the princess was determined to prove to everyone that they didn’t need Kuro at all to form Voltron or to have a working team. She had convoked all of them for a heavy training session. However, when Shiro started to fail every single physical exercise, no matter how hard he tried, she decided to train him herself.

Both Shiro and Keith had said many times that Kuro was the one that knew body combat while Shiro was the one that knew diplomacy. She didn’t believe them.

Shiro was really putting an effort, but he was not even closer to the fighter Kuro was.

“ _Don’t let your left side so open_ ”.

Also, on that morning, the brothers find out that they could see through the eyes of the other. This time, Kuro was the one to find out while Shiro was brushing his teeth on their bathroom. He had dropped the toothbrush excitedly to tell Keith the good news. Keith had chuckled and said with good humour:

\- You two are really two big voyeurs.

Another weird ability as a side effect of their separation.

However, even with that connection, the brothers were still missing their usual presence and sharing space. Shiro never thought he would miss fighting with Kuro to control their body (or to not control their body sometimes). He missed his brother, though, with all his heart.

They couldn’t control the other’s body (Kuro had tried when he saw his brother having his ass kicked), but they could watch and give tips.

“ _You have enthusiasm, but you need to keep your head in place_ ”.

“You are the person who loses your cool for any small thing!”.

“ _That is outside a fight, bro. In a fight one have to keep the head clear if they want to win_ ”.

Shiro grumbled.

\- You aren’t even trying! – Allura accused him.

The other paladins had sat around to watch.

\- Princess, he had been doing his best! – Keith argued.

Pidge nodded.

\- Yeah, princess. Keith is right. Shiro seems to be hitting you with everything he got.

Shiro stood again.

\- I do the mental tasks. Kuro does the physical work. That is our agreement.

She glared at him.

\- Fine! Then you have to prove it to me.

She grabbed the mental circlet they used for their mental training.

Usually, their mental training consisted in forming Voltron with their minds, learning how to clean the mind, training how to keep focus and opening to the others.

However, they did some other mental trainings from time to time. They weren’t as visual as forming the lions and Voltron, but they were made to fortify their minds, to make it easy to focus and avoid distractions or uncertainties.

The game was simple: to invade the other’s mind. The circlet permitted the mental duel to happen and to register who the winner was.

Allura was relentless with her attacks. She tried to explore every single opening that he had, every point she had already witnessed to be weak. She was a great opponent, and her attacks would be brutal if wasn’t for two facts:

1) Allura was having difficulties to separate Shiro from Kuro. Thus, many of the weak spots she tried to use were actually Kuro’s.

2) Shiro had years of training in fortifying his mind with meditation and other exercises.

It was a hard fight, but in the end he was able to enter her mind, feeling the smell of the mountain juniberries before exiting on his own volition.

Allura was agape when Shiro ended the game.

He couldn’t help but smirk.

\- I told you, princess. Mental tasks are my area of expertise.

Kuro was guffawing at the back of his mind. It was weird, but being separated took away the task of protecting his brother while duelling. 

Gingerly, Allura took off the circlet.

\- Still. He is not the Black Paladin. You are, Shiro.

Shiro sighed.

\- No, I’m not. My brother and I, **_together_** , are the Black Paladin.

\- There is no such thing as two people as the pala-

\- And Zarkon is what? An overgrown sock puppet? – Shiro asked in frustration – Because he obviously still have a grip on Black!

His whole body was hurting from all the fights he was forced to endure and even if he had won the mental duel, it was still hard. He was really frustrated and he believed that he had all the motives for that.

\- If you don’t believe me, fine! Let’s see what the Black Lion has to say.

Allura narrowed her eyes.

\- Very well.

 

* * *

 

Keith could say that the events of the afternoon were eventful to say the least.

At first, Shiro tried to make the Black Lion open up.

He failed.

Then they brought Kuro to try.

Kuro had a HUGE crooked shit-eating grin on his face. Keith couldn’t help but snort.

Classic Kuro, always provoking the others.

He tried to make Black open up to him.

He also failed.

Then the brothers touched Black’s barrier at the same time.

Only then Black open up.

The princess had a displeased expression, while the others were in awe.

Then another thing happened.

In one moment, the brothers were grinning at each other…

…in the other, they fused.

Just like that.

Poof!

They were together again.

They were wearing Kuro’s pants and boots, and Shiro’s hoodie.

Keith blinked in surprise.

 

* * *

 

“YOU ARE HERE!”

“AND YOU ARE HERE!”

They had never thought that they would get so happy together.

The brothers heard Black purring at the back of their mind too and their grin got bigger.

Kuro was the first one to notice one very interesting thing.

“Hey, bro. We have an outside door now!”

 

* * *

 

They unfused when the others got near them.

Kuro grinned lopsided and Shiro had a smile of his on.

Keith blinked surprised again.

\- Well, that is new.

The brothers laughed and they both kissed Keith’s cheeks, Kuro on his left and Shiro on his right.

\- How is that even possible!? – Pidge asked scratching her head in confusion.

The brothers shrugged at the same time and answered in unison:

\- Beats me.

Keith would be impressed if he hadn’t seen his boyfriends do that before.

\- Ok, don’t do that again, that’s weird, dude. – Lance said.

That only made the brothers smirk together and ask in unison:

\- Do what? We are not doing anything!

The team groaned.

Keith couldn’t help, but smile, holding hands with both his lovers.

 

* * *

 

Coran had insisted on running as many tests and exams as he could until he finally sighed and said.

\- I guess your abilities are not dangerous. – his hair was messed with all the frantic science (magic? Sometimes Kuro was really in doubt to where to draw the line).

\- And since we both are required to form Voltron, - Shiro said in a commonsensical tone – my brother can’t be locked in the dungeon.

Allura narrowed her eyes.

She didn’t like Kuro, and he was positive that the feeling was mutual.

\- We can still keep him locked until we have an emergency.

\- That is slave labour, Allura. – Keith said crossing his arms.

\- Besides, I can fuse with my little brother and you wouldn’t be able to do a thing.

Kuro grinned lopsided.

\- Well, princess, apparently I’m here to stay.

Her eye twitched with anger.

\- I don’t like you.

He snickered. Kuro didn’t expect her to be so honest.

Why not deliver the same courtesy to her?

\- The feeling is mutual. And now, if you excuse me, I really want to fuck the brains out of my boyfriend.

Allura, Pidge and Lance groaned. Keith blushed in annoyance and facepalmed.

\- DUDE! Too much information!

\- Considering that you all invaded our private life without even asking questions, - he smirked – I think you should hear a few more details.

\- NO!

Kuro grinned.

Oh, that would be fun.


	9. Takashi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language. This chapter is un-edited.  
> \- [Text after dashes] = TALKING (A Romance Language custom)  
> "[Text between quotation marks]" = THE CONVERSATIONS INSIDE SHIRO AND KURO'S HEAD
> 
> Now, to the story!

The first few days were stressful, with most of the team being wary of Kuro.

It was on the little things that made his brother feel unwanted, like the way they would throw dirty glares at him first thing in the morning or the way the conversation would cease when he entered a room. It was even worse whenever Keith showed up with a bruise from one of their scenes.

Shiro could feel Kuro’s feelings like waves.

In a first look, it looked like anger. Kuro was always prone to be boisterous after all. However, he knew his brother: underneath all the rage, there were his real feelings, which usually were sadness and pain.

“You aren’t angry, Kuro, you are hurt”. Shiro said through their bond one morning right after Pidge changed which way she was going just because she saw Kuro.

He had been with Kuro for so long that sometimes it was easier to tell what his brother was feeling than to tell what he was feeling himself.

Shiro couldn’t put a name to how he was feeling.

Disappointment because of the team close-minded reaction?

Anger because of Allura’s insistence on treating Kuro as a menace?

Stress for have to deal with all that and still save the universe at the same time?

It was hard to say.

Maybe the closest thing he could think of was frustration.

Frustration with all of them and all of the situation.

Would it be too hard just to accept his dearest brother?

It was so frustrating…

“ _You aren’t frustrating, Shiro, you are sad_ ”. Kuro said through their bond one night right after Lance had dismissed Shiro’s arguments once again, even if they were delivered in the best way possible.

Shiro guessed he was right.

It saddened him to see the team fall apart like that and for that reason.

Sometimes Shiro felt that Keith was the main reason they stayed strong. His unwavering loyalty, constant reassuring words and overall support were a real blessing. Having someone that could soothe his pain in the midst of all those changes helped them a lot.

Keith smiled when he told him that.

\- You would do the same for me.

Kuro had kissed his hand and Shiro pushed his bangs away and kissed his forehead.

\- In a heartbeat.

(It was the whole whirling situation that Shiro blamed when he realized how quiet and jumpy Keith still was).

 

* * *

 

Hunk was the first one to warm up to him.

Which wasn’t exactly a surprise to Kuro.

For what he could always read from Hunk, he was more open to changes than what he let it show. He was the kind of person who just needed something to make him feel secure and he would start to consider new perspectives.

He sat with Kuro and Keith on the common room one afternoon when the couple was just relaxing after the training. Shiro had gone discuss some strategies with the princess, which left the two alone until Hunk entered the room. Keith was reading some battle logs on the tablet while Kuro studied a hologram image of Pidge’s Galra finder. Keith had his legs over Kuro’s lap and Kuro would caress his thighs lazily from time to time.

Kuro raised his eyes when Hunk sat rigidly in front of them.

\- Yes, big guy? – he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Hunk blushed.

\- I just… I… huh… nevermind! 

He was about to ran when Kuro grunted.

\- If you want to ask something, just do it.

Keith raised his eyes in interest too.

That only made Hunk’s face even redder.

\- How… How… huh… how does this work? I mean, the… sub/dom thing… I know the theory but…

The couple looked between themselves and shrugged.

\- What do you mean? – Keith asked confused.

\- I mean… You don’t look like the submissive type… no offence…

\- Not taken.

\- And you, Kuro, don’t seem to boss him around much…

Kuro snorted.

\- Do you really think anyone can boss Keith around?

Hunk chuckled.

\- I guess not…

Keith pouted.

\- I can obey orders, thank you very much, as long as they make sense.

\- Sure thing, babycheeks. – Kuro kissed his left cheek.

Then he smiled at Hunk.

\- I don’t have problems answering questions.

Hunk blinked.

\- You are not… you know…?

Kuro smirked lopsided in amusement.

\- Evil? Only on Tuesdays.

\- He is joking. – Keith rolled his eyes.

Hunk smiled too and relaxed a little.

It was a start.

Kuro could work with that.

 

* * *

 

Each day that passed only made Keith’s doubts grow more and more.

He would stare at his dagger for longer periods, as if it could uncover some answers if he stared hard enough.

In the beginning, his lovers didn’t notice his distraction. After all they had their own set of big problems to deal with (especially now that they are divided).

Keith still made a big effort to help them navigate on their new situation and to keep his duties with Voltron. Maybe that was why he could hold for a while.

Soon enough, both Kuro and Shiro took notice.

\- You can tell us anything, baby.

\- We’ll help in any way we can, babycheeks.

Keith feared the answer, though.

What if he was Galra?

Would Red still accept him?

Would the team still accept him as one of them?

Would his lovers still accept him as he is?

Would he accept himself at all?

Questions that plagued his mind.

Sometimes Keith felt like a stretched elastic band, ready to snap.

For the first time in his life, it seemed like his past mattered in some way. However, he was scared that it would mean to step in quicksand that would drag him down destroying is present and future.

He looked at his lovers’ ring, at his bayard, at the technological gadgets that his team provided and at the Castle walls.

Keith feared that he would lost all that if his suspicious were true.

He always hated uncertainty, and that seemed to be his life theme now.

Uncertainty.

 

* * *

 

Pidge was the second to warm up to him.

Shiro was surprised, but he supposed it made sense.

She would do anything to find more about her family and Kuro seemed to be the most accessible font of information.

The brothers were in the middle of some mental exercises (he insisted with Kuro for him to fortify his mind, in case Zarkon attacked again and tried to seize control of Black again) when she entered the training room.

The Paladin armour seemed to have a few properties that Allura and Coran were unaware of, for when the brothers divided while wearing it, the armour would also divide. Kuro’s armour was all white and Shiro’s was all black. The only different colour was the blue on their shoulder.

She marched towards his brother with a determined expression.

\- What do you know about my family?

Kuro paled and looked away.

\- It doesn’t matter, Katie.

\- It matters to me!

\- It is old news.

\- Just… - she bit her lips – please…

Shiro couldn’t help but feel his heart constrict with that. He wanted to do anything to help

“Kuro… Please… tell her something”.

“ _Shiro, it is no use. There is nothing that I know that could help her_ ”.

“But it can soothe her worries knowing that the last time you saw them, they were ok”.

Kuro stared at her for one moment. Shiro could feel his resolution crumbling.

For such a badass, his brother had a very soft heart.

\- Fine! – Kuro grunted – I’ll tell you when was the last time I saw them.

Her face illuminated with hope and she sat near the twins.

\- Please, what happened?

Kuro looked away, quiet for a while.

Shiro tried not to rush him. He was also dying to know that, but he knew that his brother needed time. It was still hard for Kuro to talk about his year with the Galra. He was a work in progress, though, and he was already doing a lot better than before.

At last, Kuro sighed, without looking at any of them.

\- The last time I saw Sam was when they took him from the cell. He was too old for the Arena, accordingly to the Galra. So they would take him for the working planets. Matt cried all night long.

He stayed in silence for a long moment.

Shiro held his hand. He wanted to give his brother all the support he could.

“I’m here with you, Kuro”.

Kuro sighed.

He didn’t answer with words, but he squeezed his hand.

\- We were scared to death and I couldn’t do much. When they took us to the Arena, they queued us. Matt was in front of me. – he shrugged – The rest you already know.

Pidge blinked with comprehension.

\- You… you were the one that told me the reason why you attacked Matt…

Kuro nodded.

\- Yeah… Look… Your whole family is important to me too. I did my best, but in the end… I was…

\- Don’t you dare finish that sentence. – Shiro interrupted with a frown – You did your best, ok? There wasn’t anything else you could have done!

Kuro kept looking away and his thoughts closed to Shiro. If Shiro had to guess, he would say that Kuro didn’t agree at all with him, but didn’t want to argue.

He sighed. Maybe he should call Keith for help…

However, Pidge hugged Kuro suddenly.

Both brothers were shocked.

She was crying.

\- Thank you… Thank you so much!

Kuro was thunderstruck.

\- But I couldn’t save them! I did nothing!

\- You protected them… Thank you, Kuro… That is… Thank you…

Shiro smiled when Kuro melted into a hug with her.

Things were slowly falling into a more comfortable place.

He couldn’t help but notice that Katie was not a lot more open to his brother after that.

Yeah…

Things were improving.

 

* * *

 

\- Tell me again why I’m not going to the mall with the others? – Kuro asked annoyed.

His brother rolled his eyes.

\- For the umpteenth time: we have to form a bond with the Black Lion that is stronger than Zarkon’s

Kuro grumbled annoyed when Shiro fused with him again.

“Black is YOUR Lion, Shiro. YOU are the Black Paladin. I’m just the heavy lifting guy”.

“I’m not going to answer that”.

“Suit yourself!”

Shiro took them to the Black Lion’s hangar while Kuro sulked in the shotgun.

Why was it so hard for his brother to understand that he was NOT worthy of being a Paladin?

Shiro had too much faith on him for his own good.

“Come on, Kuro, indulge me a bit. Please?”

Kuro really should work his ability to say no to Shiro.

“Urgh… Fiiiiine! I’ll give this bullshit a try!”

Shiro beamed.

“Thank you!”

Kuro sat on the Black Lion seat in control of their body.

\- Work with me. What do I have to do to strengthen our bond?

He felt like an idiot and he really didn’t expect an answer. Why would the Lion answer him? He wasn’t her paladin!

At least that would shut Shiro up when he failed.

Black, however, roared and took flight on her own.

\- Whoa! Hey! What are you doing? – Kuro asked in panic.

The Lion kept her flight only picking up speed.

Kuro could feel Shiro getting as restless as he was.

\- Stop. Stop! I said stop! – Kuro grabbled the controls and tried to pull then back. They were locked up in place, though, making him unable to move.

\- Turn around! That's an order!

Hum… I’m pretty sure she don’t take orders.

Black purred as if to prove a point.

\- NO SHIT SHERLOCK!

\- Shut up, Watson, and enjoy the ride I guess? – Shiro replied, trying to relax on his position.

Kuro couldn’t do that. He was cold sweating and feeling a little too much on edge for his tastes. He groaned.

\- Come on! – pulling the controls was still unavailable - I don't know where you're headed but you need to start listening to me right now!

The Lion stopped in a halt in the middle of some asteroid belt. It all seemed to come from a big rock in front of them, one that had lots of holes, as if many bombs had exploded there.

Kuro looked around frantically, trying to find anything that would give him a clue of where the fuck he was.

\- That’s better! – he said to the Lion, but his voice broke a little.

Shiro snickered.

\- FUCK OFF, SHIRO!

That only made Shiro laugh.

Both brothers looked around.

\- Where are we? – Shiro asked.

\- Why did you bring us here? – this time Kuro was the one inquiring.

Black was silent.

Kuro grumbled, almost giving up on the whole thing.

Shiro was more insistent.

\- Stay with me, Kuro, we still have to connect with her. – he looked up – What are you trying to tell us?

That seemed to be the right question, for Black purred and touched their minds, just like the first time they connected.

Just the same siren song Kuro had heard the first time.

She wanted to connect with them.

To show them something.

Both brothers.

\- So you want us to see through your eyes. – Shiro said aloud.

The Lion answered with another purr.

\- Come on, Kuro. – Shiro said with a smile – She wants to show us stuff!

Kuro grumbled annoyed, but complied closing his eyes with Shiro and allowing Black to pull them to her mind.

They saw the big rock through the lens of her memories.

That rock was once a planet.

Prosperous and full of life, it was home of an advanced civilization.

And it was home to the Black Lion.

Kuro gasped and opened his eyes, looking up to Black’s panel.

\- Was this your home?

She purred.

Shiro hummed in awe.

\- So this was Zarkon's home planet… Maybe we can find his weakness inside her memories.

\- I have a bad feeling about it, Luke.

\- She doesn’t seem like she will take us back until we see all.

\- I hate both of you.

\- Show me more.

The brothers closed their eyes and watched.

They saw a comet falling on the planet. Zarkon and King Alfor looking at it together. Alfor moulding the comet into shape.

A Lion shape.

\- King Alfor built you from that comet. – Kuro concluded in awe.

Black purred.

\- And you fought beside him. – Shiro was as astonished as his brother.

Kuro gritted his teeth.

\- With Zarkon.

As soon as he pronounced his name, he felt a shiver of dread run down his spine.

He felt him.

 _Zarkon_.

Inside Black’s cockpit, inside his mind.

\- _You_.

One word, and Zarkon had him shivering in fear.

What a joke.

Kuro broke the connection.

\- This’s enough! Take us home! – he shouted to Black.

\- Hum… Kuro… Calm down…

\- HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO CALM WHEN ZARKON IS WATCHING US!?

\- …Zarkon? What are you talking about, Kuro?

\- He saw us looking through Black’s memories!? Haven’t you felt it!?

It took a moment to Shiro to answer.

\- I’m afraid not.

Kuro lost his ground.

He doubted that his brother was lying to him.

\- Maybe you just… had a flashback? – Shiro suggested.

Kuro sat back, taking deep breaths.

\- ...are you sure you didn’t feel or hear anything?

\- No. Not at all, Kuro.

\- …I… I…

\- Hey, it is ok. – Shiro smiled – Maybe it just triggered you.

\- …maybe…

\- I’ll take from here. Just… sit back and relax?

Kuro deep breathed again.

\- Ok… fine… Just get this over with!

Shiro chuckled before saying aloud to Black:

\- Show us more.

The brothers saw the Black Lion fighting with a pair of big red wings.

\- Those wings... - Shiro sighed - You have powers we haven't unlocked.

Kuro couldn’t say exactly why he was getting more and more irked with the vision.

\- Ok, I think we saw enough – Kuro said looking around worried – Can we go home now?

Shiro ignored him in favour to watch more of Black’s memories.

They saw her attacking a whole invading fleet on her own and winning!

Shiro had a huge grin in his lips.

\- Incredible! – he said with excitement.

However, on that moment, Zarkon’s presence made itself known with full force.

\- _I've got you now, paladin._

He pulled Shiro with him, dragging him away from Kuro.

Shiro screamed.

Kuro reacted on impulse.

He must protect Shiro.

He pushed his brother out of Zarkon’s grip, but he was dragged on his place instead.

Kuro was falling into an infinite realm, dark as the stars and as empty as the vacuum. He felt his body light, but even then his fall was hard, as if he was heavier than lead. The Black Lion stood there, quiet and observant.

He couldn’t feel Shiro anymore.

Only Zarkon.

Creeping on his mind like a parasite.

An image of him stood right in front of Kuro.

\- You are a fool to face me here. When you die in this realm, your body dies as well. And then I will take control of Voltron.

Zarkon attacked effortlessly and Kuro barely had time to raise his forearms for a defence.

He was pushed back, as if he was weightless.

Zarkon was already attacking him again.

There was no escape.

No place to run.

No help.

Kuro needed to win.

Or else.

Oh, but even attacking seemed harder, for his movements were slower than usual, his reflexes dormant and his head was filled with fear.

Zarkon on the other hand, moved like an expert fighter, striking punch after punch on him.

Kuro had no choice.

Attack was his best defence, even if he was scared to death.

His opponent stopped his next punch, grabbing his left fist. Zarkon squeezed it hard before throwing Kuro away.

Kuro groaned.

Yep.

Broken hand.

Just what he needed in the middle of a battle for his life.

No biggie.

\- You could never take my place as the head of Voltron.

Kuro gritted his teeth.

On the years that would come, Kuro would never know for sure if his moment of comprehension that came next was the result of the huge amount of pain that he felt all over his body or a real moment of enlightenment.

In fact, Kuro could never take Zarkon’s place as the head of Voltron, because that was not Zarkon’s place to begin with.

Not anymore.

Not with all the blood on his hands due to his hunger for power.

Zarkon was unworthy of Voltron.

Unworthy of Black.

\- You can't pilot the Black Lion after everything you've done! You can never lead Voltron again!

Kuro saw Zarkon lost his cool and his face contort into a furious grimace.

He steeled his mind before finishing his tirade. The fear was still prominent, but had a mission now.

Protect Black from Zarkon.

\- You're no paladin!

Zarkon attacked with his face full on anger.

\- You have no idea how to command a weapon like this!

Kuro dodged. He was starting to get used to that weird gravity.

\- No one commands the Black Lion!

She was her own.

How could Zarkon not comprehend that?

Oh, wait: he was a power hunger bastard. That’s why.

Zarkon attacked him with a powerful aerial strike.

\- YOU DARE LECTURE ME!?

The floor even cracked under Kuro after that blow that made him fall on his back.

He moved his right and fingers.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 fingers moving.

Left hand was still broken, thus he moved only the wrist.

His right leg seemed to be broken underneath his knee.

And he couldn’t even guess how many ribs he still had intact.

(Also, he refused to even consider inner injuries. It was too scary).

Zarkon grabbed him by the neck, squeezing it and raising him from the ground as if he was weightless.

Kuro gasped.

\- Do you think the Black Lion would allow such a feeble creature to pilot it? Only the powerful can command it.

With difficulties, Kuro activated his arm.

If he was going to die, he was going to go with a bang.

(Or as much as he could with his body all wonky).

\- You've forgotten what's most important between a lion and its paladin… It's not about power... It's about earning each other's trust!

Zarkon grimaced.

\- Trust has nothing to do with it. The lion is mine, forever.

He squeezed Kuro’s neck.

Kuro gasped.

_Please, I don’t want to die._

_Please, Please, Please!_

The Black Lion landed heavily near them. She opened her mouth preparing her canon.

Aiming at Zarkon.

\- NO! – he screamed when he was hit by her power.

Kuro felt his body falling into the ground, but instead of hitting the hard floor, he was suddenly back at Black’s cockpit, sitting on her chair.

As if he had never left.

\- KURO!

He felt his brother hugging him tightly.

All the pain from the battle had vanished like magic. All he could feel that was out of place were Shiro’s tears on his shoulder and his arms hugging him tightly.

\- DON’T YOU DARE TO LEAVE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!

Kuro gave him a feeble smile.

\- I’m sorry, bro. I had some things I had to take care of.

He felt Black purring at the back of his head.

\- Did you just save me? – he asked the panel with the same small smile.

Black purred louder.

\- Thank you.

\- Save you from what?

Kuro chuckled.

\- I’ll tell you when we get back. Let's go home.

The image of the asteroid belt just vanished from their windshield and they were suddenly back at the Black Lion’s hangar.

\- We never left…

The brothers unfused.

\- So, what the hell happened? – Shiro asked worriedly – I couldn’t feel you anymore, almost as if you had died…

Kuro gave him a lopsided grin.

\- You just won’t _believe_ what happened…

He told about his fight in vivid details. First for Shiro then to Keith that night before bed.

\- And then, when I thought I was going to end up as cosmic pudding, Black showed up and BLASTED THE HELL OUT OF ZARKON!

Keith smiled.

\- That is… good to hear…

His smile wasn’t reaching his eyes though.

However, this time Kuro was still so excited that that detail wasn’t noticed.

\- I mean, I just can’t believe that Black chose me! Me!

Shiro laughed and messed with his hair.

\- I TOLD you that she chose **_us_**. Not just you or me, but both of us.

The brothers kept talking between themselves excitedly.

Keith was more quiet and reserved since they had announced that they would look for the Blade of Marmora. He would just nod and smile when one of the twins asked him something.

Kuro fell asleep that night with a huge grin on his lips.

 _Paladin of Voltron_.

He could get used to it…

 

\---

 

Keith knew he was snapping at people.

He just… he couldn’t help it.

He was just _so close_ to get some answers.

Where did he came from?

Who was his mom?

Was he… was he Galra?

They have demanded to only two of them to meet with the Blade.

\- Technically, Shiro and I count as one. – Kuro had said with a shit-eating crooked grin.

Hunk had snorted.

\- You sneaky bastard.

\- Better safe than sorry! Three is better than two.

That was how Keith ended up piloting Red towards the Blade of Marmora Headquarters with the twins fused by his side.

\- Keith, is everything okay? – Shiro asked him.

Keith sighed.

\- I’m fine.

\- You kind of blew up at everybody back there. You'll have to control your emotions if you're going to lead this group someday.

\- Lead the group? – he laughed nervously.

\- When we were stranded, we told you, if anything ever happens to us, we want you to lead Voltron. – Kuro said sternly.

\- I thought you were just delirious with pain. – Keith frowned, feeling some weird anger settling on his stomach – Why would you make me the leader?

\- Because we know what you're capable of, if you can learn some self-discipline.

\- You are the last person to talk about self-discipline, Kuro.

\- I learned from my mistakes and I can keep a clear head in the midst of a fight.

\- You have to be able to do the same if you are going to lead some day. – Shiro added.

\- Why are we even talking about this? Nothing is gonna happen to you!

\- It's just in case. – Shiro frowned – I need you to get focused. When you and Allura ran off, it put us all in jeopardy. If you're going to be a leader, you've got to get your head on straight.

Keith looked down.

Even if Zarkon wasn’t tracking them down through him, the doubt of him being Galra still plagued his mind. The question of his origins were a constant thing clogging his head and making him unable to concentrate.

His dagger was with him without the bandage, hidden between the under suit and the back plate of his armor. Keith really hoped that the Blade of Marmora could provide him with some answer, otherwise he think he would go crazy with uncertainties and self-doubts.

\- I'm sorry. I've just had a lot on my mind.

Their reception was cold.

The two guards conducted him until their leader, who presented himself as Kolivan.

\- My name is Shiro and this is Keith. We are Paladins of Voltron. – Shiro, always the diplomat, assumed with a polite smile.

\-  I know who you are. – Kolivan answered dryly.

\- Then you know we were sent by one of your own.

\- Ulaz was a fool to divulge this location to you. He had a penchant for ignoring orders and following his impulses. That's what got him killed.

Keith could almost feel the exact moment Kuro changed places with Shiro.

\- He gave his life to save us! What he did brought us here today, and Voltron is ready to assist you. Are we welcome here or not?

“Clear head” his ass.

\- You were told to come unarmed. – Kolivan said with disapproval.

Keith was surprised by one of the Blade members. He was tackled to the ground.

\- Keith!

\- He has one of our blades! Who did you steal this from?

Keith gritted his teeth.

\- I didn't! I've had it all my life!

\- Lies! – shouted the Galra immobilizing him.

\- Can you corroborate your friend's statement? Does this blade truly belong to him?

Keith saw the doubt within his lovers’ eyes.

None of them had ever seen the dagger without the bandage.

They couldn’t say for sure.

\- I... I don't know.

\- Takashi, you know me! I promise you I didn't steal it. I've had this dagger as long as I can remember.

\- We can't trust them.

Keith was REALLY starting to hate that specific Galra.

\- I'm telling the truth. I saw Ulaz had a gadder like this. Tell me what it means.

They let Keith stand, and Kuro assumed control, running to be by his side almost immediately.

He glared at Kolivan.

\- We came here to form an alliance, but obviously, we're not welcome. Come on, Keith, we're leaving.

\- Not without some answers. Somehow, one of your knives ended up with me on planet Earth. Tell me how!

\- You seek knowledge? There is only one way to attain knowledge here.

Kuro hold his shoulder, but there was not stopping him now.

\- How? I'll do it!

That was how he ended up agreeing with the Trials of Marmora.

Knowledge of death and all that bullshit.

\- Surrender the blade. You cannot win.

\- Surrender the blade and the pain will cease.

\- You are not meant to go through that door.

The members of the Blade who were fighting against him kept repeating that. Over and over again.

He wouldn’t give up, though.

That was his only shot and he was not going to throw that away that easily.

Even with all his fighting against the Althean gladiator, he was unprepared for the Blade of Marmora fighting technique.

Those guys were truly warriors.

Raised from the crib to know how to fight.

Even if he was dedicated, Keith still had a long way to reach that level of expertise.

Kuro’s words crossed his mind.

‘I learned from my mistakes and I can keep a clear head in the midst of a fight.’

Yeah, to keep going would be a mistake. He would just continue to have his ass handled to him.

His body was already sore and banged up.

He wouldn’t even be able to continue if he kept going like that.

Knowledge or death was something quite literal apparently.

He had to clear his head…

What he wasn’t seeing?

\- You are not meant to go through that door.

Keith blinked.

Of course!

He wasn’t supposed to go through **that** door.

On his next round just as his next opponents showed up, he was prepared. He waited patiently until the elevators who brought his opponents to the arena started to lower and the trapdoor started to close.

He had one shot.

Keith threw his dagger on the Galra direction. They dodged effortlessly, but it was ok.

Keith wasn’t aiming for them anyway.

He threw a few kicks and punches until one of them delivered a blow to his chest. Keith lost his breath for one moment, but it was still all running on his favour.

He had been thrown near the trap door.

He grabbed his dagger and jumped through the hole on the ground with a smirk.

His fall was less graceful as he wanted, but he was out there and inside a metal elevator.

\- Guess I really wasn't supposed to go through that door. – he said when the doors open and he walked away.

Now that the adrenaline high was passing, his vision was getting blurred and there was a loud ringing on his ears.

Keith’s vision got dark for one moment and he fell panting on the ground.

Fuck… he must continue!

He was so close!

But… he couldn’t do that on his own.

He needed help.

He needed…

He needed…

Two people walked to where he had fallen.

Two paladin armours, one black and other white.

Shiro and Kuro.

\- Hey, man. You did it. – Kuro said with a crooked smile and offering his hand for him to stand.

\- Kuro? Shiro?

They both smiled at him.

Keith accepted the help and stood with wobbly legs.

\- Kolivan told me you lasted longer than anyone ever has in those battles. – Shiro beamed.

\- You don't have to keep this up. – Kuro added.

That made Keith frown.

\- What are you talking about?

\- Just give them the dagger and let’s get out of here! – Kuro had a roguish lopsided grin.

Keith averted his eyes from his lovers.

\- I can't give it to them, Takashi.

\- What is it with you and that thing? – Kuro asked angrily.

Keith stared at them, pleading with his eyes.

Please… understand…

\- It's the only connection I have to my past. It's my chance to learn who I really am.

\- You know exactly who you are, a Paladin of Voltron. – Shiro had a stern and chastising tone.

\- We're all the family you need. – Kuro added glaring.

Keith took a deep breath.

_Please…_

_Please be here with me_.

\- Takashi, I love you, you are both very important to me… but I have to do this!

\- No, you don't. – Shiro’s eyes were cold and full of distain.

\- Just give them the dagger! – Kuro shouted.

Keith steeled his heart.

That was going to hurt.

Worse than all the fighting of before.

Keith preferred to take a million punches than to do that.

But he had to.

He frowned and swallowed hard.

\- I can’t do that.

\- Just give up the dagger, Keith! You're only thinking of yourself, as usual!

Kuro’s words cut deeper than a million knives.

\- I’ve made my choice. – he said holding back his tears.

Shiro frowned with disapproval.

\- Then you’ve chosen to be alone.

They both walked away from him, turning their back and don’t looking back.

\- Shiro! Kuro! Wait!

He tried to follow them, but Keith was weak and hurt. He fell to the ground again, blacking out for what appeared to be one moment.

When he opened his eyes, he was on the old shack, the one Shiro, Kuro and Matt had found and that he had used as a home after being expelled.

\- Keith? – a man called him.

Keith felt his heart ache.

He knew that voice…

He thought he would never hear it again.

\- Dad?

His dad was there, smiling at him, bigger than life itself.

\- You’re home son.

Home?

What…?

Home…?

There was a loud rumbling outside and the floor trembled.

\- What’s going on outside!?

\- Don't worry about that. We'll be fine as long as we stay in here. Don't you want to catch up?

Keith sighed.

\- Of course I do.

There was sounds of destruction and screams outside.

He could hear Red’s roar calling him.

They… they need him outside.

\- Dad, I-I'm sorry. I gotta go. There's people that need me out there.

\- Don't you want to know about where your dagger came from? Your mother gave it to me.

His eyes widen.

\- Mom…?

More sounds of an attack.

Keith was getting restless.

He needed to go! He needed to help!

More people would die if he didn’t go!

\- She’ll be here soon.

His dad didn’t seem concerned at all with the people dying outside. He was carrying the conversation with a calm and relaxed tone, as if Keith had just stopped by for a visit.

Keith felt torn.

He had his duty to save others, but he needed to know more about himself.

\- You gotta tell me, Dad. I have to know. Where did the dagger come from? What does it mean?

Again, his father just smiled calmly.

\- Your mother is almost here. She'll tell you everything.

The screams were becoming unbearable.

Keith might be willing to bet his life to get answers, but never the life of other innocent people.

He… He had to go.

He turned around and grabbed the doorknob.

\- If you go out that door, you'll never find out who you are. – his dad said nonchalantly.

Keith gritted his teeth and held back his tears.

 _If I look back, I’m lost_. – he thought.

\- Goodbye, dad. – he said without looking at his father and with a tight voice.

He slowly opened his eyes.

Keith was still laying on the Blade of Marmora’s floor.

Nothing but a hurtful illusion.

He felt like crying. It was hard to hold on.

\- KEITH!

Shiro and Kuro, on separated bodies ran on his direction.

They cradled him on their arms for one moment, kissing his brow and catching their breaths.

\- It wasn’t us! – Kuro said desperately – We would never do that to you!

\- It wasn’t us. – Shiro reaffirmed quietly, but with certainty.

Shiro supported his weight and Kuro helped him stand.

The members of the Blade showed up no longer after.

\- Stop what you're doing!

Kuro positioned himself between the Blade and Keith.

\- What are you talking about? What's going on? – Keith asked, hearing the sounds of destruction.

Red roared.

Oh.

So that was not a part of the illusion.

Oh.

\- Call off your beast! – Kolivan demanded.

\- Move out of the way! We're leaving! – Kuro said activating his arm.

\- You're not leaving with that blade. It does not belong to you. You failed to awaken it!

Keith groaned.

\- What does that even mean!

\- Give up the blade!

Some members prepared to attack.

Kuro had a defence stance ready. Shiro held Keith tightly.

The prospects of a new fight didn’t seem good.

Keith felt his heart constrict.

He had to make a choice.

His past, that he would probably never unveil completely, or the universe’s future, with the alliance with the Blade of Marmora?

He remembered his dad and the promise to finally meet his mom.

He realize that he had already made his choice.

\- Wait! – he stood on his own legs and offered the dagger to Kolivan – Just take the dagger! It doesn't matter where I come from. I know who I am. We all need to work together to defeat Zarkon. If that means I give up this dagger, fine! Take it!

The past should stay in the past.

All that matters was the future he could provide to himself and to the universe.

He had made up his mind.

A peculiar reaction occurred right after Keith reached that conclusion.

His dagger started to shine in blue, the same blue of its symbol.

It expanded, and suddenly it wasn’t a dagger anymore, but a sword.

Keith blinked stared it with some confusion.

Kolivan gasped.

\- You've awoken the blade!

The trio looked at him.

\- The only way this is possible is if Galra blood runs through your veins.

Keith swallowed hard.

He didn’t know how to feel about the new information.

The only thing that occurred to him was fear.

Would waking the blade mean to destroy his own future?

They stayed in silence while going back to the Castle.

The others were taking the news that Keith was part-Galra with different degrees of suspicious on that first night.

The silence seemed to fall in whatever room Keith decided to enter.

It made him wish he had never asked about his own past to begin with.

His biggest fear was to lose Shiro and Kuro and that was what probably had happened.

How could they accept him now, knowing that he was part-Galra, and after all they had been through?

They probably hate his guts now, and Keith himself was not far from hating himself too.

He entered the room they shared alone that night carrying a bag with him. They probably would want him to switch rooms.

Keith would make things easy for everybody.

He had barely started when the twins entered the room.

He didn’t dare to look at them.

He’d shatter.

\- Keith, are you ok?

\- I’m fine.

\- Why are you picking up your things?

Keith felt a knot on his throat.

\- I don’t want to upset any of you.

\- What are you talking about?

Keith sighed.

\- I know that you won’t want me around now sin-

\- No.

He heard fast steps towards him before two strong arms enveloped him from behind.

\- No! – Kuro growled – Don’t you _dare_ leave us! Not because of this.

Shiro was right behind him, embracing Keith and staring him in the eyes.

\- It doesn’t matter, Keith. – Shiro said with distress - Nothing have changed.

Keith had to swallowed a few times before the lump on his throat let him speak.

\- I’m Galra…

\- No, - Kuro growled, pulling his chin so he was now facing him – You’re **_Ours_** and **_ours_** alone!

\- We don’t care from were you came from. – Shiro added with conviction – You are with us now, and we are here for you, no matter what.

Keith’s eyes watered.

He couldn’t fight the sniff, hiccups, sobs and tears.

His lovers holding him tight, and Keith thought that the only reason why he didn’t break was because they were holding him. He felt like shattering, but his lovers held him tight through all his tears.

Shiro hummed a lullaby and Kuro kissed him face so many times that Keith lost count.

He felt like becoming empty at the same time he was becoming full. In between their arms, Keith felt like he could break and built himself from the ground. He was safe, loved and he couldn’t ask for anything better.

It seemed like an eternity when he finally stopped crying.

Shiro held his face between his hands and kissed his lips first, before turning Keith’s head gently so he could kiss Kuro.

\- You are not getting rid of us that easily, babycheeks. – Kuro smirked lopsidedly.

\- You are included on all our long-term plans, baby, so you’ll have to fight harder if you want to get away. – Shiro smiled gently.

Keith gave them a small smile.

\- You two seems like you’ll ask for me to marry you.

The brothers lost their smile for one moment.

They stared at each other in one of their telepathic conversations.

Keith hold his breath.

His answer still was clear in his head. Just waiting for the moment of coming out of his lips.

In the end, Shiro and Kuro looked at him smiling again.

\- We were going to ask you… - Shiro confessed in a whisper.

\- We has a ring and everything. – Kuro sighed.

\- But we waited for after we came back from Kerberos. – they said in unison – And missed our opportunity.

Keith blinked and stood from the bed where they were all sitting.

He guessed that it was the day to reveal all his secrets, so he wouldn’t ran from that.

He took their ring from his wardrobe, still attached to the black string.

They both lose their breaths.

\- I… I found a week later after they declared that Kerberos happened due to pilot mistake. – he chuckled – I already wasn’t accepting that. Finding this was the last drop.

\- You kept that with you…?

\- All this time?

He smiled.

\- I never had the chance to give my answer. So I just carried it with me. Before you showed up, I used to daydream that you had come back to me and had asked the question. But then you came back hurt and broken and I couldn’t push that on you until you were stronger again.

Keith bit his lips.

\- Do you… do you still want to ask the question?

The brothers stared at him in awe for a few moments. Then they turned at each other glaring.

Keith bit his lips.

\- Did I misunderstand it?

\- No, you didn’t.

\- We are just seeing who will get to ask that.

Keith laughed and walked back to the brothers.

\- Why not both? – he suggested, putting the ring on their hands.

They grinned.

\- Keith…

\- We love you.

\- Like we had never loved anybody else.

\- When this is all over,

\- And the universe is free again,

\- Will you marry us?

Keith beamed.

New tears bloomed on his eyes, but this time they were happy tears.

\- Yes!

He kissed his fiancés while his heart beat fast. Kuro held his hand gently while Shiro put on the ring on his ring finger.

The next kisses were sloppier, messier and hotter.

Kuro was still deliciously violent while Shiro was still sweetly tender.

A peculiar combination that Keith couldn’t get tired of.

Things seemed to be falling into place, no matter the dangers they have yet to face.

As long as Keith was with his Takashi (both of him, all of him), they could figure things out.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ## A very, very, VERY late edit (because I'm an idiot):
> 
> The Links to the art!  
> The official art **[[HERE]](http://eleedoesart.tumblr.com/post/164947805810/my-first-entry-for-the-sheith-big-bang-event)**  
>  The sexy sketches ;D **[[HERE]](http://eleedoesart.tumblr.com/post/165025327140/some-nsfw-sheith-sketches-i-did-during-the-past-2)**


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